Anna Faris movie quotes

View Quote When I was a girl, I wore a ponytail, had glasses, and I was totally obsessed with weather. Other girls wanted a Barbie, I wanted a Doppler Radar Turbo 2000. But all the other kids used to taunt me with this lame song. It wasn't even clever. So, I got a new look, gave the sciencey smart stuff, and I was never made fun of again.

View Quote Well, those cheeseburgers we're only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny... side up.

View Quote Flint, this is amazing! And designing the ice cream to accumulate into scoops? I don't know how you're gonna top this!

View Quote "Sweet Motherboard!"

View Quote Whoa, whoa! Hold up. That's not a "meh" face!

View Quote How are you doing that?!

View Quote Yes, I think I'll have the mahi-mahi, but can I get it with just one mahi? Because I'm not that hungry.

View Quote A brothel? Oh, I'm not looking to make soup.

View Quote OWW!! BITCH SUCK!!!

View Quote Flint, everyone gets humiliated on national television. It's not that big of a deal.

View Quote Oh, crap balls.

View Quote For what it's worth, the people who really care about you think you look great in your lab coat.

View Quote Cindy: We have to call the police.
Ray: No way, I ain't goin' to jail!
Cindy: We have to!
Greg: Hey, Cindy! Do you know what happens to young boys in prison?! All those sex starved convicts just waitin' for a fresh piece of meat?!
Ray: Hey, you're right, Cindy, maybe we should call the police.

View Quote (Ray is stabbing Bobby)
Cindy: You guys are psychos! You've seen one too many TV shows!
Ray: No! Watching TV shows doesn't create psycho killers... cancelling TV shows does! (continues to stab Bobby with more violence) The Wayans Brothers was a good show, man! It was a good-ass show! And we didn't even get a final episode!

View Quote Cindy: Wait, shouldn't we check his wallet?
Buffy: For what?
Brenda: Shit, he might have some money. We already committed murder, we might as well rob his ass!
Bobby: Good idea, I'll take credit cards!
Brenda: I want the jewelry!
Ray: I'm-a take his drawers!

View Quote George: [At Brenda's funeral] Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You?
Cindy: Brenda was my bitch.

View Quote (Cindy sees George unconscious on the table. He begins to wake up)
Cindy: George, what happened?
George: I don't know. Me and Cody were playing a fun game and... (looks down at gameboard) Yahtzee! (stands up and bangs his head on a shelf, then falls onto the table again)

View Quote Ross Giggins: Turning now to sports...
(Cindy types new text for the teleprompter)
Ross: And an evil video tape that kills anyone who watches it in seven days. It's true. We're all in danger. There's an alien force that's trying prevent you from knowing the truth.
Carson Ward: [Noticing Ross, and Cindy at the teleprompter keyboard] Oh, no. [Rushes over to Cindy] Campbell, are you insane?!
Ross: It's a horrible fate.
Cindy: Carson, I have to do this!
[Ward shoves Cindy out of the way and types new text; Cindy comes back and the two begin fighting for control of the teleprompter keyboard.]
Ross: Correction, there really is no danger. Actually, I didn't really mean anything I just said. Yes, I did. Every word of it. Everyone watching this could be dead in a week.
[The Janitor joins in, making it a three-way fight over the teleprompter's keyboard.]
Ross: O shizl gzngahr BBBBBTTTTTGGGGTGGGGTGGGG shzn blah hary % + 7, , 1 9 3 4 19 ckin etd vaus erstn gubl chn q shnitzi guorsn blkn (, , 18 4 6 9
[The Janitor has won the fight for the keyboard. He smirks as he types, then leaves the studio.]
Ross: I been cleanin' after this dumb-ass cracker Giggins for ten years, but I been hittin' it with his woman for twelve. Know what I'm sayin', ****? She likes her some chocolate. Sharpton for President, y'all. I'm outie. Peace.

View Quote That Simon is dreamy.

View Quote I don't want to destroy them.

View Quote [Dave hobbles into the Chipmunks and the Chipettes' bedroom, which has been rearranged completely. There are now two sets of bunk beds, three for the boys and three for the girls, on either side of the room. Alvin and Brittany got the top bunks, Theodore and Eleanor the middle, and Simon and Jeanette the bottom.]
Dave: Look at you. All ready for bed. Looks like the Chipettes are a good influence.
Brittany: Thanks, Dave.
Jeanette: Thanks, Dave.
Eleanor: Thanks, Dave. [giggles]
Dave: Okay guys, now lights out. Goodnight everybody.
Simon: Goodnight, Jeanette.
Jeanette: Goodnight, Simon.
Theodore: Goodnight, Eleanor.
Eleanor: Goodnight, Theodore.
Brittany: Goodnight, Alvin.
[No reply.]
Dave: Alvin?
Alvin: I'm not tired.
Dave: Sorry, but you've got school tomorrow. [turns the lights off and starts to walk out of the room, but...]
Alvin: [jumps down next to Theodore's bed and flips a light switch, turning the lights back on] Not tired!
Dave: [walks back into the room] Alvin, come on, it's time for bed. [turns the lights off again, only for Alvin to turn them on again]
Alvin: Not tired!
Dave: [firmly] Alvin? [shoots Alvin a warning glare, turning the lights off again, only to get the same reaction from him]
Alvin: Still not tired! [flips the switch.] More awake! [flips it again.] Tired. Just kidding! Much more awake!
Dave: Alvin, that's it! Don't make me come over there!
Alvin: Okay! [turns the lights off.]
Dave: [slips on a skateboard in the hall.] Whoa! [CRASH!]
Alvin: [turns the lights back on] Oh boy, I suddenly got really really tired, [chuckles nervously.] Night, Dave. [turns off the lights right as Dave yells...]
Dave: ALVIN!!! [the credits roll]

View Quote Wait a minute, am I being Punk'D? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?

View Quote [to Chris] You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team since Jessica Simpson and her father only you and I get to "mreow" and they can't, 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up.

View Quote [singing and playing guitar] Forgiveness, is more than saying sorry. To forgive is divine. So let's have a glass of wine. And have make-up sex until the end of time, time, time, time, timmmmmmeee! Time.

View Quote Kelly: John, John. You are my favorite photographer.
John: Ohhh...
Kelly: No, you are. I only want you to shoot me. It's true. [both laugh] Oh my God, I have the worst B.O. right now. I'm sorry.

View Quote Kelly: I'm under Evelyn Waugh.
Charlotte: Evelyn Waugh was a man.

View Quote Kelly: [being interviewed] You know, I guess the reason why I like Japan the best out of all Asian countries is because I really feel close to, um, Buddhism. I really feel-- I really believe in reincarnation. That's part of what drew me to Midnight Velocity as well because although Keanu Ŗeeves dies, he eventually gets reincarnated. So, there's hope. There's hope in reincarnation, I think.
Reporter: What was it like working with Keanu Reeves?
Kelly: He was always so-- He was always, you know, giving me ideas and, you know, really helpful. He made me feel really comfortable, so-- And we both have two dogs, and we both live in L.A.; so we have all these different things in common. So, you know, we both really like Mexican food and yogạ and [ gestures] ķạrạte! [reporters laugh]

View Quote Cindy Campbell: Oh, my God!
Mr. Koji: Don't mind her. She slip and fall. You my new best employee! Ready start today?

View Quote Cindy Campbell: It looks like we have a lot in...
Tom Ryan: ...common.
Cindy Campbell: We're already finishing each other's...
Tom Ryan: ...dinner!

View Quote Cindy Campbell: (to Tom) I was married once...
Cindy's Husband: (flashback) Git outta the way, bitch!
Cindy Campbell: Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit!
Cindy's Husband: Shut yo ass up, snow ho!
(Cindy throws glass bottle)
Cindy Campbell: (flashback ends) Well, actually, married twice.

View Quote Unless you're combing the playground for middle schoolers, don't become an asshole like Monty.

View Quote So, you know that weird, paranoid feeling you get when you hear people laughing and you think they're laughing at you when they're really not? Well, in your case, they actually are.

View Quote As if that negates the fact that once we got past foreplay, you turned into the Little Engine Who Couldn't Hold His Load.

View Quote Jeanette: (when Simon/Simone confronts her and grabs her hand) W-what are you doing?
Simon/Simone: What I wanted to do the moment I laid my eyes all over on you. (starts dancing with Jeanette)

View Quote Zoe: You're not coming back up until you have every last bit of that treasure!
Jeanette: B-B-B-But... the volcano is about to explode!
Zoe: Then I guess you better hurry then, huh?

View Quote [Last lines: Dave, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes are flying home; Dave tries to put the chipmunks' tiny suitcases in the overhead locker]
Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, sir. That's full. We're gonna have to gate check those.
Dave: [sighs] Are you gonna charge me $25 a bag?
Flight Attendant: Of course not, sir. It's $25 for the first bag, and $40 for each additional bag.
Jeanette: [shivering in her seat] I'm a little chilly, would you mind adjusting the vent?
Simon: But of course.
[Simon jumps up to adjust the vent, but pushes a book before Brittany aside while landing]
Brittany: Oh, you wrinkled my business magazine!
Simon: Heh, sorry.
Brittany: [pushes book aside revealing a magazine with herself on the cover] Guess I'll have to read this. Oh, she's pretty. Oh wait, that's me.
Dave: Alright, head count.
Theodore: [appears wearing a monster costume made out of a bag] BOO! [roars until Dave removes the bag] You like my jungle monster costume? Eleanor made it for me.
Eleanor: Yeah! Out of the barf bag!
Dave: Yeah, nice. [tosses bag aside and does a head count] Where's Alvin?
Alvin: [over intercom] Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking: we're cleared for an untimed departure for Timbuktu. If Timbuktu is not for you, please alert the flight attendant by pressing your call button.
[The passengers do so]
Dave: Alvin...
Alvin: [frantically] Thank you for choosing Air Alvin, uh...enjoy your flight!
Flight Attendant: Sir, please return to your seat, we're about to take off.
[Alvin jumps off the food cart, accidentally pressing the release lever]
Flight Attendant: Sit, now!
Alvin: Uh-oh.
Dave: But he–
Flight Attendant: Sit!
[The cart rolls down the aisle]
Dave: No, no, no! [The cart crashes into him] ALVIN!! [Alvin smiles nervously; the plane takes off]

View Quote Jeanette: Is that safe?
Simon: No, it is absolutely not.
Alvin: When I say "party", you say "Alvin". Party!
Party People: Alvin!
Alvin: Party!
Dave and the Party People: Alvin!
Alvin: Party!
Dave: ALVIN!

View Quote [At American Idol]
Redfoo: [sings] Once upon a time I was fallin' in love.
Brittany: Oh, boy.
Redfoo: Now it's only fallin' apart.
Eleanor: Oh, okay.
Redfoo: Nothin' I can say A total eclipse of the heart!
Jeanette: Ooh!
[Redfoo stops singing]
Brittany: Um, well...
Alvin: You're going to Hollywood!
[Redfoo looks excited]
Brittany: Alvin!
Redfoo: I'm going to Hollywood! I'm going to Hollywood!
[Redfoo runs away]
Alvin: Sorry, girls, I've always wanted to say that.
Eleanor: What are you doing here?
Jeanette: Yeah. We're kind of in the middle of auditions.
Alvin: I need your help. We really screwed up with Dave and we gotta fix it.
[The Chipettes look at each other]
Brittany: Because it's for Dave, we're in.

View Quote Alvin: Girls, thank you. We owe you one.
Brittany: You owe us way more than one, but, you're welcome.
Jeanette: Guys, we have to get back to auditions. Ryan's been texting me like crazy.
Brittany: Come on, girls. Let's roll.
Eleanor: Bye, Theodore-able.
[Eleanor giggles, she runs after Brittany and Jeanette, Simon takes off his glasses as he looks at Theodore, who shrugs]

View Quote Cindy: (singing terribly along with the radio to Vitamin C and swerving all over the road) As we go on, We remember, All the times we, Had together, And as our lives change, Come whatever, We will still be Friends Forever. -
(suddenly the music comes to an abrupt stop)
Vitamin C: Hey! Will you shut the **** up and let me sing?!

View Quote Ghost Voice: (distantly) Cindy! I want you to know to what happened to me... Look in the music room! Check the music room!
Cindy: Where are you?
Ghost Voice: (very clear) Check the **** music room!

View Quote Cindy: (screaming) Oh my God, Brenda! We're gonna die!
Brenda: It would have just been you if you had just, shut the **** up!
Exorcist Party Go-ers: (singing) Shake ya ass! Watch ya self! Shake ya ass! Show me what you workin' with!
Mrs. Voorhees: (singing) Attention, all you young players and pimps, right now is the place to be.
Father Harris: (singing) I thought I told y'all **** before, y'all **** don't **** with me!

View Quote General Aladeen: You seem educated.
Zoey: Yes, I went to Amherst.
General Aladeen: I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on rollerskates. It means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.

View Quote Zoey: [after finding out Allison Burgers is General Aladeen] Oh my god! You lied to me... and you're wanted for war crimes!
General Aladeen: Please. That stuff never sticks.

View Quote [last lines]
General Aladeen: Are you okay, my love? What did you step on?
Zoey: Oh, yes! No, no. It's my people's tradition. We always smash a glass at weddings. I'm Jewish!
General Aladeen: What?
Zoey: Mazel tov! Are you okay?
General Aladeen: That's fine. I don't mind. It's great! Come here, my love.
[hugs her while signaling for her to be executed]

View Quote Come on, it's not every day that your best friend grows a penis.

View Quote Jessica/Clive: April, do you rememeber in second grade when you moved here from Arkansas? And everyone made fun of you and threw rocks at you 'cuz your two front teeth were brown? I was your only friend. I gave you that locket round your neck, when your grandmother was sick. You said, you said...
April: ...we'd be bestest friends forever.

View Quote April: Uh, Jessica has a...problem.
Keesha: She's only going to make us wait an hour this time?
Lulu: What about the class trip to Six Flags? She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.
Keesha: Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.
Jessica/Clive: I had my period, OK!

View Quote There isn't enough penicillin in the world!

View Quote Grace: You're not gonna believe this. Remember how I sang that song from Les Mis at the Saint James talent show and everyone said I was amazing?
Kate Sullivan: Okay, Mom, can you just type this up in an email, because I'm gonna be late for my other job.
Grace: Turns out, a producer from the Eugene Senior Theater touring g company was there. He had tears. Anyway, one of their leads fell in the shower, and they want me to step in.
Kate: What? When is this all supposed to be happening?
Grace: I'm leaving tonight. They're already in tech.
Kate: No! Mom, my nursing exam is in less than a month and you agreed to help.
Grace: I'm 72. If I don't follow my dreams now, when will I?
Kate: Never, Mom. The whole reason we moved here is so I could study more. I already failed the exam once.
Grace: No, don't guilt me. You're not the only one with a dead husband.
Kate: Dad's not dead, you're divorced!
Grace: Oh, and I'm gonna need you to take care of Fiona. The kennel won't take her. She has crate anxiety.
Kate: You can't possibly be this selfish.
Grace: I'm sorry, honey, but the theater is calling me. [checks her phone] , literally. They need my dress size. [answers the phone] Hi there. Normally a zero, but a two if I'm bloated.