Cindy quotes from Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Cindy

Hello?

Seven days.

Cindy

What? Willie Mays?

Seven days.

Cindy

Who's gay? Hello?

Seven days.

Cindy

What?

Can you hear me now?

Cindy

Kind of.

Can you hear me now?

Cindy

Yes. Perfect.

Seven days.

Cindy

Seven days. Oh my God. I'm gonna die next Monday?

Yes. No. Wait. Monday. That would be seven business days. This is seven days starting now.

Cindy

So seven days to this very hour? My watch broke. How am I gonna know the exact hour?

Forget hours. This day seven days from now.

Cindy

But there's a holiday coming up. Do you count the holiday?

Well, that depends. What holiday?

Cindy

Martin Luther King Day.

Then no.

Cindy

Why not? Everybody at work is taking it off.

Jesus Christ, lady. I'm giving you seven friggin' days. I can come over now and kill the shit out of you if you'd rather have that. [Hangs up]

George

Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You?

Cindy

Brenda was my bitch.

Cindy

Hello?

It's me. How you doing?

Cindy

Fine.

Enjoying your last week? I can't wait to see you. Six days now, right?

Cindy

Yeah.

It was great catching up. Can I speak to Cody?

Cindy

Why? He didn't watch the tape.

Yes, he did. Come on, Cindy, I do this for a living.

Cindy

Hello?

Hello, I'm calling from "Reader's Digest" with a fantastic offer for Cody. (snickers)

Cindy

No, you're not! You're that evil little girl from the tape!

Okay, you got me. How about I just leave a message for him?

Cindy

Fine. (writes the message down) Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, how do you spell that? Right. Okay, got it. Bye. (Cindy holds the paper up, which reads SEVEN DAYS) AAAAHHH!!

Cindy

But what is connection between the crop circles and the videotape?

The Architect

The answer is simple. You are the eventuality of an anomaly. You are inexorably seeking a sedulant probability.

Cindy

Sedulant? I, uh...

The Architect

Grotesquery? ...No? What about... (holds up dictionary) contingent affirmation? That's gotta mean something.

Turning now to sports...

And an evil video tape that kills anyone who watches it in seven days. It's true. We're all in danger. There's an alien force that's trying prevent you from knowing the truth.

Oh, no. [Rushes over to Cindy] Campbell, are you insane?!

It's a horrible fate.

Cindy

Carson, I have to do this!

Correction, there really is no danger. Actually, I didn't really mean anything I just said. Yes, I did. Every word of it. Everyone watching this could be dead in a week.

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I been cleanin' after this dumb-ass cracker Giggins for ten years, but I been hittin' it with his woman for twelve. Know what I'm sayin', ****? She likes her some chocolate. Sharpton for President, y'all. I'm outie. Peace.

Cindy

All you need is a family...

George

And we can be that family.

Thank you all. Your love has broken the curse and freed my soul. I'll never have to kill again.

Cindy

Really?

Nah! I'm just screwing with you! (she raises a knife)

President Harris

I just wanted to tell you both, good luck, we're all counting on you.

Cindy

George, what happened?

George

I don't know. Me and Cody were playing a fun game and... (looks down at gameboard) Yahtzee! (stands up and bangs his head on a shelf, then falls onto the table again)

Cindy

Hello?

I know. You're Cindy. Be right with you.

Cindy

Aunt ShaNeequa?

Bingo. But you can call me the Oracle. And don't worry about that vase.

Cindy

What vase? [Bumps into a vase but it doesn't fall off] Oh! Sorry. I didn't know. [Walks into a doric column with a vase braining her] Oh! Aah!

That vase. Please, sit. [Cindy sits and farts]

Cindy

It was the chair.

Mmm. [Farting loudly] Yes, the chair. I know why you've come. A great mystery lies ahead of you, but you must not shy away from the challenge. Only you can be the one... [Orpheus enters and turns on TV] Orpheus?

What, baby?

Sweetie?

I'm watching the game.

Do you mind? The Lakers will win by 12. [Orpheus raises both hands and drops TV remote on ground in expressed displeasure]

Cindy

So can you tell me about-

The tape?

Cindy

Yes. I watched it and-

The phone rang.

Cindy

Right. Then this voice said-

That you would die.

Cindy

Okay, that's getting-

Extremely annoying.

Cindy

Yeah.

Try being married to her. I catch shit about women I ain't slept with yet.

You made a copy of the tape. Let's see it. [They start playing tape]

Cindy

Yes. Okay. ShaNeequa, can you tell me if... The tape is connected to the crop circles and the aliens?

Yes. But it's up to you to discover how for yourself.

Cindy

Look, it's a...

Cigarette?

Cindy

I was going to say lighthouse.

Find that lighthouse. It's your destiny.

Cindy

Wait. What is that? [Picks fly off TV woman's nose] Oh, my God. [Fly flies away and flies back to its original spot]

There we go! [TV woman retaliates with flyswatter on ShaNeequa] Ugh!

Now, baby!

I knew that was gonna happen!

Uh-oh. Come on.

Oh, hell, no! [Grabs TV woman] Get your ass out of the TV! What's wrong with you? I'm gonna teach you! Get out of that TV!

Baby, no! No! Let her go! Let her go! Let her go! We gonna get another lawsuit!

She spit on me! I'm gonna kill the bitch!

Ah! You won! You won! You won! You won! Upstairs!

Okay!

Down low!

Okay! All right!

Baby, no!

Kill her!

Is you crazy?! Baby!

What you gonna brush now? What you gonna brush now, huh?

Come on, baby!

You picked the wrong TV to come out of! [TV woman falls down beaten]