Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Scary Movie 3 (2003): in 4 of its 40 quotes
A line from Tom [Holding Michael Jackson outside of a window]How do you like it?
Tom Argh! My balls!
Tom No, not those... Jesus!
Tom No!
Trooper Champlin This... is your wife. (snaps a hot dog in half)
Tom She broke her weiner?
Trooper Champlin Tom, look what happens to the taco. (breaks a taco in half)
Tom I, I don't understand all this medical lingo. I wanna see Anne!
Trooper Champlin Your wife is split in half.
Tom You mean like, down the middle in half?
Trooper Champlin At the waist. That truck is the only thing keeping her alive.
Tom You mean, this is the only time I can talk to the top half?
Trooper Champlin Yes.
Tom Well, let's just say this is her bottom half. (pulls out a donut) Can I spend a little time with that?
Trooper Champlin I don't understand what you mean.
Tom Okay, let me explain.
Trooper Champlin Just go to her.
Annie Promise me you'll never remarry.
Tom I promise.
Annie And no sex, either.
Tom I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.
Annie No sex.
Tom Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful.
Annie No sex.
Tom Oh, cruel fate to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery!
Annie No sex!
Tom Poor Annie. We hardly knew her. She'll be missed terribly.
Annie Oh, Jesus.
Tom That's right, honey. Go into the light.
Annie Look! Just tell George, swing away.
Tom Right. Swing away.
Annie Oh, sure. That you understand. (dies)
