Charlie Sheen movie quotes

View Quote [about the Cardinal] Is he a man of God or a man of gold?

View Quote [to Cardinal Richeleiu] You will never harm another soul ever again. My promise to God.

View Quote Fear not, my son, I am with you, always... all for one... and one for all.

View Quote Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

View Quote Good Carolyn, Doing any better would be a sin.

View Quote I'm tapped out Marv. American Express got a hit man lookin' for me.

View Quote Do you know what its like to have your heart shot out of season and tied to the top of a car? How it feels to be passed like the world's largest kidney stone? Ramada... I don't THINK so.

View Quote These men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...

View Quote I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.

View Quote Jake: That's my wife...
Willie: Does she know that?
Jake: Well, she would've been if I hadn't screwed it up... who's that guy she's with?
Willie: I don't know. He's not wearing a nametag.
Rick: Want me to drag him outta here, kick the shit out of him?

View Quote Willie: What the hell league you been playing in?
Rick: California Penal...
Willie: Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?
Rick: Stole a car.

View Quote Charlie: We heard about your pitching out of Portland last year...
Rick: I'm not really with them anymore...
Charlie: We'd still like to take a look at you in our spring training camp in Arizona, March the first.
Rick: [Camera cuts to show Vaughn's in prison] I'm, uh...not sure I can make it by then.

View Quote New Year's Day, 1968. Just another day, stayin' alive. There's been a lot of movement near the Cambodian border, regiments of NVA moving across. A lot of little firefights and ambushes. We drop a lot of bombs and then we walk through the jungle like ghosts in a landscape.

View Quote Day by day I struggle to maintain not only my strength but also my sanity. It's all a blur. I have no energy to write. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. The morale of the men is low, a civil war in the platoon. Half the men with Elias, half with Barnes. There's a lot of suspicion and hate. I can't believe we're fighting each other when we should be fighting them.

View Quote [Smoking marijuana]
Elias: First time?
Chris: Yeah.
Elias: Then the worm has definitely turned for you, man. Feel good?
Chris: Yeah, it feels good. I got no pain in my neck now.
Elias: Feelin' good's good enough.

View Quote Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover.

View Quote Hot lesbian witches! It's **** genius!

View Quote Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.

View Quote [complaining about Gabriel's Horn] Of course it couldn't be Gabriel's Flute or Gabriel's Kazoo, nooo.

View Quote Sasha: Now, tell me the truth, Charlie Barkin: why did you really come back? And don't you con me.
Charlie: Actually, I kind of like the idea of being Mr. Sasha.

View Quote Charlie: The name's Barkin. Charlie Barkin. And you are?
Sasha: Not even remotely interested.

View Quote Cappie: I'm just being nice to her.
Alise: Well, stop being nice to her! I don't want you talking to her anymore, I don't want to turn around and see you walking with her and smiling at her. I don't want her in this car on Friday night. We're not giving her any ride to any goddamn dance, she can put her fat ass on the back of Lucas's bike where it damn well belongs!

View Quote Bruno: What are you always sticking up for this wimp for?
Cappie: Why are you always picking on him?

View Quote Cappie: Are you interested in politics?
Maggie: So so.
Cappie: Are you interested in wide receivers?
Maggie: What's that?
Cappie: The position I play.
Maggie: Oh, is that what you do? Sorta.
Cappie: Are you interested in cars?
Maggie: No.
Cappie: Are you interested in being kissed?
Maggie: Yes.

View Quote [Holding Michael Jackson outside of a window] How do you like it?

View Quote (Tom gets hit in the groin with a plank of wood)
Tom: Argh! My balls!
(George brings him two bowling balls, and hits him in the balls with them again)
Tom: No, not those... Jesus!
(George runs up with a plastic Jesus statue)
Tom: No!

View Quote Trooper Champlin: This... is your wife. (snaps a hot dog in half)
Tom: She broke her weiner?
Trooper Champlin: (sighs) Tom, look what happens to the taco. (breaks a taco in half)
Tom: I, I don't understand all this medical lingo. I wanna see Anne!
Trooper Champlin: Your wife is split in half.
Tom: (splitting a sub sandwich down the middle) You mean like, down the middle in half?
Trooper Champlin: (sighs) At the waist. That truck is the only thing keeping her alive.
Tom: You mean, this is the only time I can talk to the top half?
Trooper Champlin: Yes.
Tom: Well, let's just say this is her bottom half. (pulls out a donut) Can I spend a little time with that?
Trooper Champlin: I don't understand what you mean.
Tom: (now holding a hot dog) Okay, let me explain.
Trooper Champlin: Just go to her.