Scenes with Rick
8 scenes
Rick
What's that shit on your chest?
Eddie
[wipes his finger across his chest]
Crisco; [wipes his finger across his waist line] Bardol; [wipes his finger along his head] Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. 'Course if the umps are watching me real close I just rub a little jalapeño juice up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just... [wipes his nose] ...wipe my nose.
Rick
You put snot on the ball?
Eddie
I haven't got an arm like yours; I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.
I Indians
[wearing tuxedos, the whole team stands behind Home Plate]
Hello. Do you know us?
I Indians
[putting on their caps]
We're a Major League Baseball team.
Jake
But since we haven't won a pennant in over 30 years, nobody recognizes us - not even in our own home town.
Eddie
That's why we carry the American Express card.
Rick
No matter how far out of first we are, it's cool. You know, it keeps us from getting shut out at our favorite hotels and restaurant-type places.
Pedro
So if you're looking for some Big-League clout, apply for that little green home-run hitter.
Roger
Look what it's done for us. People still DON'T recognize us but... [snaps his fingers]
Lou
We're contenders now.
Willie
[slides into Home Plate and holds up a green credit card]
The American Express card: Don't steal home without it.
Jake
That's my wife...
Willie
Does she know that?
Jake
Well, she would've been if I hadn't screwed it up... who's that guy she's with?
Willie
I don't know. He's not wearing a nametag.
Rick
Want me to drag him outta here, kick the shit out of him?
Rick
I got news for you Mr. Brown, you haven't heard the last of me. You may think I'm shit now, but someday you're gonna be sorry you cut me. I'm gonna catch on somewhere else and every time that I pitch against you I'm gonna stick it up you're ****in' ass! [throws baseball against locker]
Lou
Good! I like that kind of spirit in a player. The only problem is I didn't cut you.
Rick
What?
Lou
I think someone's been having some fun with you.
Roger
[after Rick tackled him, and the two have been separated]
Don't **** with me, Vaughn!
Rick
Yeah? [shouting] **** you!
Roger
What's the matter, rookie ****-Wad? Can't you take a little joke?
Rick
Real **** funny, asshole.
Lou
All right, [shouting] All right. Knock that shit off.
Roger
Lou, you better make it real clear to this little lady that I'm not about to take his shit.
Lou
Shut up, Dorn.
Willie
What the hell league you been playing in?
Rick
California Penal...
Willie
Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?
Rick
Stole a car.
Charlie
We heard about your pitching out of Portland last year...
Rick
I'm not really with them anymore...
Charlie
We'd still like to take a look at you in our spring training camp in Arizona, March the first.
Rick
[Camera cuts to show Vaughn's in prison]
I'm, uh...not sure I can make it by then.
P Pepper
[Vaughn has just given up a grand slam in his first appearance of the season]
You want me to go get him?
Lou
No, let's see how he reacts.
Harry
Well Brown is apparently going to stick with Vaughn here as the Indians trail 8-0. Coleman steps in - a .281 lifetime hitter. Taylor with the sign; Vaughn into the motion with his pitch.
Harry
[Vaughn beans Coleman between the shoulder blades]
Uh oh!
Lou
Interesting.
Harry
'Bout time, it's 8-0.
U Umpire
[To Vaughn]
You! You're gone!
Rick
What?!
U Umpire
You heard me, you're gone!
Rick
He was right on top of the plate!
Lou
I think you can go get him now.
Rick
The ball slipped out of my hand, it was an accident!
U Umpire
You threw at him intentionally.
Rick
Oh, kiss my ass!
U Umpire
Get out of here.
Rick
You're full of shit! **** you!
U Umpire
Get out of here, rookie!
Rick
Hey, why don't you blow me, ump?!
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