Harry Doyle quotes from Major League (1989)

Harry Doyle

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.

Harry Doyle

Juuust a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.

Harry Doyle

Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.

Harry Doyle

The post-game show is brought to you by... [searches through his papers] Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.

Harry Doyle

Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.

Harry Doyle

This guy threw at his own kid in a father/son game.

Harry Doyle

Well, you can close the book on Kellner. [covers microphone with hand and turns to Monty] Thank God!

Harry Doyle

We don't know where Hayes played last year, but I'm sure he did a helluva job.

Harry Doyle

Heywood's a convicted fellon, isn't he Monty? [Monty: Ah...doesn't really say it here.] Well, he should be!

Harry Doyle

Hayes is picked off! Personally I think we got hosed on that call

Harry Doyle

Vaughn, a juvenile delinquent in the off-season, in his major league debut.

Harry Doyle

Vaughn into the windup for his first offering... [ball thrown several feet off the plate] Just a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.

Harry Doyle

Just a reminder fans about Die Hard Night coming up here in the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant. [35 years prior.]

Harry Doyle

Vaughn deals...and Heywood swings and crushes one towards South America. Tomlinson will need a visa to catch this one, it is out of here and there is nothing left but a vapor trail. [extended version] Let's hope we still have diplomatic relations with the country that baby lands in.

Harry Doyle

And the Indians win it! The Indians win it! OH MY GOD, THE INDIANS WIN IT!

Harry

And the Indians drop this one, 6-to-one to the Rangers. For the Indians, one run on, let's see, one hit...that's all we got? One god-damned hit?

You can't say "god-damn" on the air!

Harry

Don't worry. Nobody's listening, anyway.

Harry

Monty, anything to add?

Ummm... no.

Harry

He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!

You really knocked the crap out of that one.

Willie

Oh, I plan to get at least a double out of this. [shows Heywood his black gloves] I bought a hundred of these. One for every base I'm gonna steal. Excuse me while I take my first step toward the Hall of Fame.

My ass.

Harry

We don't know where Hayes played last year, but I'm sure he did a hell of a job.

You're gonna look real sharp, tryin' to steal second with your shoe untied.

Harry

Throw to first... Hayes is picked off! Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.

Pepper

You want me to go get him?

Lou

No, let's see how he reacts.

Harry

Well Brown is apparently going to stick with Vaughn here as the Indians trail 8-0. Coleman steps in - a .281 lifetime hitter. Taylor with the sign; Vaughn into the motion with his pitch.

Harry

Uh oh!

Lou

Interesting.

Harry

'Bout time, it's 8-0.

You! You're gone!

Rick

What?!

You heard me, you're gone!

Rick

He was right on top of the plate!

Lou

I think you can go get him now.

Rick

The ball slipped out of my hand, it was an accident!

You threw at him intentionally.

Rick

Oh, kiss my ass!

Get out of here.

Rick

You're full of shit! **** you!

Get out of here, rookie!

Rick

Hey, why don't you blow me, ump?!