(to Cindy)
Oh, God, will you shut the **** up! Why couldn't you have just left me there to die?! Give me a ****in' rope, I'll hang myself! (grabs the stick he's sitting on with his beak, hanging from it) Here I go, I'll hang myself!
Dwight
David Cross · 4 quotes
Father McFeely
James Woods · 4 quotes
Parrot
4 quotes
Cindy
Anna Faris · 3 quotes
Father Harris
Andy Richter · 3 quotes
Theo
Kathleen Robertson · 2 quotes
Alex
Tori Spelling · 1 quote
Scary Movie 2 quotes
Page 1 of 2
Hanson Excuse me, professor, but your guests have begun to arrive, and supper shall be served shortly.
Okay, thanks, hand-yman.
Hanson I'm actually the caretaker. [notices Dwight's roller blades] Oh, well, aren't those cool new skates? Now, you be careful with those; you don't want to fall and break something.
Oh, that's funny, that's real funny. Uh, let me give you a hand. [claps]
Hanson Well, that-that's awful kind of you. How about you give me a standing ovation?
Why don't you lift me up?
Hanson Okay, I see where you're going with this one. You look familiar to me, were you in Stomp?
You can kiss my grits.
Hanson I think I'll be the bigger man, now, and walk away...WALK away.
Brenda It would have just been you if you had just, shut the **** up!
Exorcist Party Go-ers
(singing)
Shake ya ass! Watch ya self! Shake ya ass! Show me what you workin' with!
Mrs. Voorhees
(singing)
Attention, all you young players and pimps, right now is the place to be.
(singing terribly along with the radio to Vitamin C and swerving all over the road)
As we go on, We remember, All the times we, Had together, And as our lives change, Come whatever, We will still be Friends Forever. -
Vitamin C (suddenly the music comes to an abrupt stop)
Hey! Will you shut the **** up and let me sing?!
Let's split up.
Brenda Unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh-UNH! Now wait a minute, hold up! How come when anytime this scary shit happens, and we should stick together, you white people always say "let's split up"?
She's right, we should stick together.
She's right. Okay. (pointing to Cindy, Buddy and Theo in the group) You three, follow me!
Shorty (Shorty, Brenda, and Ray are left alone)
Ain't that a bitch?
Brenda (the three of them begin to cry)
We gonna die, y'all.
Heh-hey! Hey there little guy, how are you doing?
**** off, four eyes!
H... h... I beg your pardon?
I said: "**** off... four eyes."
You know, I oughta kick your ass-!
Shorty Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Relax, son, it's just a bird. Hi, little birdy... Polly want a cracker?
Polly want your mama's sweet ass!
Shorty (stunned)
What did Polly say to me?
I said: "Polly wants your mama's... sweet ass".
Shorty You don't be talking 'bout my mama son, you don't know my mama, son!
Yeah, I know your mama, I **** her last night.
Shorty You want beef?! I'll **** you up!
Ooooh! I'm shaking, I'm shaking!
Shorty Aw no, **** this, I'm handling this shit like a gentleman, y'all. Hold my tooth, son.
Yeah, come on, bitch, you and that Kotter's hairstyle wanna piece of me?! Come on, bring it on!
Shorty What, you hardcore?! Gimme somethin'!
Let me outta here, come on, pussy! Let me outta here, I'll **** you up!
I know what you thinking. Did I fire three shots or 117? Well, do you feel lucky, (pause) punk? Do you (pause) feel lucky? (says faster) Do you feel lucky, punk?
Hugh Kane
(deep, growling voice)
Shoot me, mother****er!
How is she?
Mrs. Voorhees
It's gotten worse, Father. She won't eat. She won't talk. The child won't let me touch her.
Yes, sometimes you have to give them candy.
Let us pray.
Our Father...
Hugh Kane/Megan Vorhees
(laughs excessively in a deep voice)
Stop it!
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
(continues laughing)
Zip it!
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
(laughs some more)
Thy kingdom come...
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
Your mother sucks **** in Hell!
Oh, shit...
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
(laughs)
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
Uh-oh.
(he shoots her, and the title screen appears)
Ghost Voice
(distantly)
Cindy! I want you to know to what happened to me... Look in the music room! Check the music room!
Where are you?
Ghost Voice
(very clear)
Check the **** music room!
[deleted scene]
God is good. God is great. But not all the time, sometimes He could be a real asshole. Praying for twenty-four years, not one goddamn message on my answering machine. If You're listening and I know You're up there, thanks for all this food, since it's the least You could do. Amen. Let's eat.
[grunting on the toilet]
Oh, God. Please, Lord, help me to release this demon! (groans and farts forcefully and is relieved) Ahh! Thank you, Lord, the most merciful Almighty. Oh... hold on. (farts forcefully again) Ahhh, ah! Oh, those enchiladas!
[while exorcising Megan]
Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Virgin Mary's baby daddy, Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God, who once concerned that Fallen Tyrant to the flames of Hell, who sent your only Son in the world to crush that Roaring Tiger, and who got that unholy bitch Jerri kicked off of Survivor!
Check it out. You ever seen a bird dick this big? Too much for ya, eh, honey? Well, step off, sweet cheeks! Come back when you want some real love.