Most scenes together: Chris Brander & Jamie (5), Chris Brander & Samantha James (2), Chris Brander & Chris' Mom (2)
Just Friends quotes
Page 1 of 2
Mr. Palamino How did you lose all that weight? Like that **** from Subway?
Mom, I'm on the phone.
Chris? What are you doing over at Joyce's?
No Mom, I'm in the living room ten feet away from you, and I'm on the phone.
Oh. Well, while I have you on the phone, dear, what would you like for dinner? We have a choice between chicken chow mein or pot-roast.
Dusty, what kind of car is this?
Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius.
I think it's so neat that you kids care about the environment.
I love the environment.
But honey, don't you drive a Range Rover? Aren't those bad?
Well, I had a really nice time tonight, and I hope we can do it again soon. Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'.
Oh, listen, man, it was my pleasure, really. Thank you all for having me. It was so nice.
And hey, before I forget, make sure to that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay? Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool with germs and bacteria. Now put that back!
This is it. You're finally going to have sex with Jamie Palamino. Oh God, look at that face. Look at that body. Why are you smiling like a fricken idiot? Go on. Make a move. MAKE A MOVE!
Bush. President Bush. The first family, really.
Dude! You're killing me! This is the girl of your dreams! Ravish her! What if she doesn't want to be ravished? What if she wants to stay friends? Friends don't ravish each other. Friends watch New Years Rockin' Eve. I wonder who's hosting this year.
Chris, can you put your feet on mine? They're freezing.
Yeah. [thinking while cuddling up behind Jamie] Hell yeah. Her feet aren't even cold. This is it. Don't even think about how weird tomorrow's going to be.
Chris?
Oh God. Oh, God. What are you doing? Where are you going?
Is everything alright?
Oh, everything's fine. Yeah. You okay? Uh, you need another blanket or anything?
No, I'm fine.
Ah. [thinking] You're not going to make a move are you? [to Jamie] Good night, Jamie.
Good night, Chris.
You don't deserve a penis!
I can't compete with this guy!
You can't compete? Are you kidding? You're Chris Brander. You're Hollywood, you date models! He's Jersey, he skis in his jeans. It's Dinkleman. It's Dusty Dinkleman.
Look Jamie. I said a lot of crappy things the other night and I'm sorry about that. The truth is, I'm scared to be your friend, because I'm always going to want more. But then I got to thinking that I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all. [pause] You know that's a lie too.
Why are you back here?
Because I want to take you on a date. And I don't care if it's in the day, or at night, or whenever, as long as it's a real date. And I wanna tell you how beautiful I think you are. Inside and out. And I wanna have babies with you, and I wanna marry you, and I love you Jamie. I always have.
Sorry. Twenty years all at once, just blah!
[Jamie laughs. Chris leans in and kisses her again]
So, how's the love life?
Lame. Marty and I broke up a year ago.
Another jerk, huh?
"Another jerk, huh?"
I'm just saying... you dated a lot of jerks in high school.
So what about you? You in love with anyone besides yourself?
What about Sheila? You making any headway?
Ray We'll see. I'm taking her to lunch today.
Oh, whoa, whoa whoa. Don't - don't do that. Okay? Don't do lunch.
Ray Why?
That's like the express lane to the friend zone.
Ray What the hell's the friend zone?
See when a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.
Ray I don't want to be a lamp.
Yea well then don't be her friend, okay? Take that guy for example... [points to a clumsy guy and a gorgeous girl skating together]
Ray You mean that couple?
No, I mean the guy that wishes they were a couple.
Ray What is your point?
My point is - Call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now. Move your day date to tonight. Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end. 'Cause friends don't kiss.
How'd the big date go?
It was terrible. I went in for a kiss, but she wants a hug, okay? Then I get caught in a sort of kiss-hug limbo type thing. I don't know what that is, then I ended up shaking her entire body!
So you gave her a body shake?
Oh, God! I should've just kissed her! What am I doing?
It looks like you picked up right where you left off. You're back in the friend zone.
We need to talk about what you wrote. Is that really how you feel?
I don't know. Maybe. Why?
Because that's the nicest thing anyone's ever written me.
It was?
Yes. I love you Chris - [goes to kiss him. Chris goes for her lips and she moves to his cheek] - like a brother!
Hmm?
We're friends right?
For sure!
Why do you keep messing with my head?
I messed with your head for three days. You've been torturing me for twenty years!
Is this all because I didn't screw you in high school? Get over yourself!
After being the biggest tease for so long, trust me, I am so over myself.
Oh, so I'm the tease? I practically throw myself at you the other night and you did nothing!
And now you know how it feels.
The jig is up! Run!
You son of a bitch!
Samantha! You're here! Shit!
There she is. There's the little slut you've been banging behind my back!
Me?
Not you, wrinkles. [Points at Jamie] Her!
Who are you?
I'm Samantha James, bitch!
Get off!
Yeah I slapped the ham to it about an hour ago.
What ham did you slap, honey? Not the one I just bought.
Do you really have my poster on your wall?
Yeah.
Do you ever...
All the time!
How many times a day?
Eight.
Eight? Ooh that's hot!
You're hot.
I know! I know.