Amy Smart movie quotes

View Quote Eve: Why didn't you call me?
Chev Chelios: Like **** I didn't. Didn't you get my message? [Scene of answering machine playing distorted blowing wind as Chev was free falling from helicopter]
Eve: No! Where have you been for the last three months? I thought you were dead.
Chev Chelios: I fell a mile out of a helicopter. It's a long story.
Eve: No way! You know what? That's totally possible. I saw this video on YouTube where this guy's parachute doesn't open and he falls like fourteen thousand feet and he lives.
Chev Chelios: Yes baby, I know it's possible because I ****in' did it!
Eve: [Refusing Pepper's lesbian advances] Quit it.
Chev Chelios: Since when were you on the Internet?
Eve: You know, a lot of things have changed since you died.
Chev Chelios: I didn't ****in' die.
Eve: Well, that's besides the point, isn't it? [To Pepper] Get off!
Pepper: Ooh!
Eve: Where are we going, Chev?
Chev Chelios: I don't know. I need to find that slant from the club, the one with the red cooler.
Pepper: Are you talking about Johnny Vang?
Chev Chelios: Do you know Johnny Vang?
Pepper: I know his ass. He's got that box with him all the time.
Chev Chelios: That box. I need it.
Pepper: I can bet on my grandma's coochie he's at the horse track.
Eve: Dude, you gonna put Johnny Vang on ice?
Pepper: Maybe.
Eve: That's so ****in' sexy.
Pepper: ****in' dead.
Eve: [To Pepper] Didn't they cuff you?
Pepper: Damn it. Do me. I'll do you.
Eve: Bitch.

View Quote Chev Chelios: I got to get a hold... I've got to call Doc. I need a cell phone.
Pepper: Why didn't you just say it? I have a cell phone. Here.
Chev Chelios: You got a cell phone. I got you. Okay?
Doc Miles: You've got to work for the things that... Chevy?
Chev Chelios: I lost the belt battery, Doc.
Doc Miles: How long ago?
Chev Chelios: Over an hour
Doc Miles: Jesus Christ, that's not ****in' possible, Chevy. You should be dea... ****, never mind. Look... it's a wireless system, so any kind of low-level electrical shock to your skin should juice it. At least temporarily. Hey, Chev I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I... I was. I lost my license after I **** up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is if you can get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you.
Chev Chelios: Okay, Doc. I'll be in touch when I find that Chinese **** that's got me pump. That you even had to choose between Phyllis and me. Chinese?
Doc Miles: Sharon, I just shut down, okay? I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. Hey, Chocolate would you get off your fat ass and get dressed?
Chocolate: Why?
Doc Miles: Do you have any idea... how silly Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch? Do you know that I was waiting for those results, too? I needed to put things in perspective.
Chev Chelios: Oh, you needed? I see, you needed. I think I know who we're dealing with. That's how you do things now.
[Chev pulls up to a riot of pornstars picketing on strike]
Pornstar chant: "Hell, no, we won't blow!"
Chev Chelios: For ****'s sake move! Jesus. Shit! What the ****! Shit!
Pornstars: That's right! You're gonna pay me by the inch, bitch! You make a living! We want to make a living! You carry a weapon! We carry weapons... in our pants. Sick and tired of this! Pay me my ****in' wages, mother ****ers! Droppin' loads on all of your silly wages! They need their money. What, do you want me to **** this car? What, do you want me to **** this car? [Pornstar actress is on windshield] Suck my ****in' tits!
Chev Chelios: Get off the car!
Pornstar: I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!
Eve: Hi.
Pornstars: We're just sick and tired of this! Just because it's porn doesn't mean we all want to do it! We like to get paid for it!
[Police cruisers pull up]
Police officer: This is a weird scene. We've got pissed-off beaver everywhere. [Chev takes off] We're on pursuit.
[Chev jumps on a staircase railing to slide down in spirit of local skateboarders but slips, falling on crotch]
Camcorder guy: Whoa! "Oh!"
Chev Chelios: ****!
...
[Two men are using a shock collar to train a dog in the park]
Dog guy 1: Sit! Good... I'm just makin' sure. Whatever. Dude, he's totally doing what he's supposed to.
Dog guy 2: Well, he's got to know who's in charge.
Dog guy 1: Dude! Come on!
Dog guy 2: He's gonna eat somebody's baby and you're gonna be in... No, dude, chill. Uh, you're gonna get sued.
Dog guy 1: He's totally doing what he's supposed. to be doing. Come on.
Dog guy 2: Whatever. I wanted a cat.
Dog guy 1: ****!
Dog guy 2: See? Way better than a cat, man.
Dog guy 1: Whatever.
Chev Chelios: [Walks up to the them] Who's this ****in' asshole? You pair of sausage-Nigels. How do you sleep at night?
Dog guy 1: Who is this guy?
Chev Chelios: I'm from PETA. This is animal cruelty, you ****ers. Hello, there.
Dog guy 1: Hey, give that back, you liberal freak.
Chev Chelios: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah.
Dog guy 1: Um... Dude.
Chev Chelios: ****in' shame on you two.
Dog guy 1: That's two hundred and fifty dollars. I tell you.
Chev Chelios: You pair of ****s. Press the **** button.
Dog guy 1: Well, take it back. Hit him.
Chev Chelios: [Dog guy 2 presses shock button] Not so bad.
Dog guy 1: Disgusting.
Chev Chelios: Morning. Mom would be so proud. Sorry about that. Give me that thing.
Dog guy 1: No.
Dog guy 1: Yeah, there you go. Go on.
Chev Chelios: Ruff, ruff, ruff ruff, ruff ruff! If you don't press that ****in' button, you're goin' in the pond.
Dog guy 2: I'm pressing it. Press it!
Chev Chelios: Come on, what's the matter? ****in' wake up! [Slaps Dog guy 1] Make him press the button you...
Dog guy 1: Give him the ****in'...
Chev Chelios: What are you, ****in' useless?!
Dog guy 2: Hey! No problem.
Police officer: Stop right there! Stop!
Chev Chelios: Oh, shit. [Gives chases]
Dog guy 2: Oh. See, that's what I told you.
Police officer: [Dog attacks officer biting at crotch] My ****in' nuts! Get him off!
Dog guy 2: It's all right! Will our insurance cover that?!
Police officer: Stop it! Freeze! Get down! Get down! Turn around! Get down! What the **** is that around your neck?! Get down on the ground! Show me your...
[Venus pulls up on a moped]
Chev Chelios: Are you ****in' kidding me?! Kaylo?!
Venus: Get on!
Police officer: Both of you down on the ground now!
Venus: Get down! Get down!
Police officer: Get off that ****in' moped!
Chev Chelios: Kaylo, I thought you were dead.
Venus: My name's Venus. I'm from Hollywood. Kaylo was my brother.
Chev Chelios: Brother? No shit. Hey, what the **** did you hit me for, anyway?
Venus: I have a condition. FBT, Full Body Tourette's. I can't control myself.
Chev Chelios: Jesus! ****! What the ****? Hey, listen, I'm sorry about your brother, but I need to get to the Hollywood Park racetrack. And I mean right the **** now. What's the matter, are you hurlin' or something?
Venus: Is that where they're at?
Chev Chelios: Who?
Venus: The ill suckers that killed my brother. You're Chev "The Cheese" Chelios, right? The sickest, most wickedest mother****er that ever vaporized a mother****er in cold blood, right?
Chev Chelios: Yeah. That's me.
Venus: Yeah. So we're gonna get those suckers...
Chev Chelios: Get a grip on yourself. It's already done.
Venus: Huh?
Chev Chelios: It's done. I already took care of the ones that did Kaylo.
Venus: But... All of them?
Chev Chelios: All of them. D-E-A-D. Brown bread.
Venus: Right Said Fred?
Chev Chelios: Simply Red.
Venus: I see.
Chev Chelios: Well, don't look so gloomy, Elvis. I can assure you they did not die pleasantly.
Venus: No... you don't understand. It's a matter of honor. It should have been me to avenge my brother's death. Well... so long, Chelios.
Chev Chelios: My brain hurts. There is one I never got to on account of I could never find him. The one that calls himself "The Ferret."
Venus: El Huron?
Chev Chelios: You know him?
Venus: No. It means "The Ferret" in Spanish.
Chev Chelios: Right. Yeah, I knew that. Listen, you want to find the dude that made your brother dead, you find him.

View Quote El Huron: Hola, Chev.
Chev Chelios: I take it you're the greasy ****er that's been huntin' me all day.
El Huron: The Ferret. Some people know me by this **** name. And many men have died cursing the name of El Huron... as they choked on their own blood and the blood of their families.
Chev Chelios: Colorful geezer.
El Huron: I was born with another name... the name of my father.
Chev Chelios: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah, ****in' hell.
El Huron: And my father's father's.
Chev Chelios: We're all very sad.
El Huron: And the name... that I share... with my two brothers... Alejandro... and Ricardo.
Chev Chelios: Verona.
El Huron: Well, l-I can tell... by the tick-tick-tick... that you had no idea... that there was a third brother.
Chev Chelios: Nope. That fact escaped me... or I assure you, Elvis, I would have made it a **** hat trick.
El Huron: I got a trick-or-treat for you cabrőn. I'm gonna make you wish... that you was never a man.
Chev Chelios: If you want to kill what's left of me, you get on with it.
El Huron: What's the rush, Chelios? I know someone who's going to love to watch this. [Unveils an incubation tank that is the life support of Ricky's head]
...
Doc Miles: You. You got the donor?
Chocolate: Like you got a boner.
Poon Dong: Hey, baby. You always say y-you want to be more spontaneous.
Chocolate: Uh-uh, cowboy.
Poon Dong: Huh?
Chocolate: We gonna go back to my place.
Poon Dong: Ooh. Yeah. That sounds good.
...
El Huron: Ricardo never wanted my money Chelios. He was, uh, too stubborn. He wanted to make his own way. But now I think he likes what my money can buy. The technology to keep his brain alive. Not forever but long enough to watch you die.
Orlando: Yo, Ferret, this ain't Roots, man. [Orlando's posse has arrived and are all pointing their guns]
El Huron: Que?
Venus: Hey, cabrõn. [Venus's posse has arrived along with Ria's posse and are all pointing their guns]
El Huron: You got to be **** kidding me.
Venus: You killed my brother, mother****er. Prepare to die.
El Huron: No! **** you, Chelios! Ronnie James Dio! Chucha madre!
...
Chocolate: This way, sugar.
Doc Miles: [Holds up surgical instruments] Confucius say... karma's a bitch.
Poon Dong: Uh-oh.
...
Chev Chelios: Hello, Ricky. Why do we go on like this, Ricky? Hurting each other? Water? Did you say, "Water"? H-two-O coming right up. [Kicks Ricky's head into the pool] Mother****er!
Ricky: [Drowning in pool] Chev Cherios! Che... Chev Cherios. Chev. Chev. Che... Che... Che...
...
[Doc Miles is operating on Chev Chelios]
Doc Miles: I'm cuttin' the battery. The battery's out. Paddles. Give me the paddles.
Eve: What's going on?!
Doc Miles: Chevy. Clear! ****! Shit! [Chev's electrocardiogram flatlines]
Eve: No! God! [Eve is lead away by Doc Miles and after a moment, Chev's eyes burst open]
...
[Ending credits bloopers]
Pornstar: Droppin' loads all over your silly wages! You think these muscles are free? You think this ****'s for free? No way! No scabs, no crabs! No scabs, no crabs! I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back! I'm gonna bang your prisoner! Droppin' loads all over your prisoner!
...
Jason Statham: I take it you're the **** that's been hunting me all day.
Production staff: No- No- No- No. No.
Jason Statham: I take it day. The ****. The ****. Oh, sorry, the Ferret.
...
Pornstar: No dough, no blow! No dough, no blow! Dicks like this don't come for free! Huh. Lips like this don't come for free. That's what I meant to say. I got lost. I meant, "Lips like this don't come for free."

View Quote Chris: So, how's the love life?
Jamie: Lame. Marty and I broke up a year ago.
Chris: Another jerk, huh?
Jamie: "Another jerk, huh?"
Chris: I'm just saying... you dated a lot of jerks in high school.
Jamie: So what about you? You in love with anyone besides yourself?

View Quote Chris: [thinking] This is it. You're finally going to have sex with Jamie Palamino. Oh God, look at that face. Look at that body. Why are you smiling like a fricken idiot? Go on. Make a move. MAKE A MOVE!
[takes a deep breath]
Jamie: What's on your mind?
Chris: [awkwardly] Bush. President Bush. The first family, really.
[Jamie sighs and rolls over]
Chris: [thinking] Dude! You're killing me! This is the girl of your dreams! Ravish her! What if she doesn't want to be ravished? What if she wants to stay friends? Friends don't ravish each other. Friends watch New Years Rockin' Eve. I wonder who's hosting this year.
Jamie: Chris, can you put your feet on mine? They're freezing.
Chris: Yeah. [thinking while cuddling up behind Jamie] Hell yeah. Her feet aren't even cold. This is it. Don't even think about how weird tomorrow's going to be.
Jamie: Chris?
Chris: [thinking as he slowly rolls over off of her] Oh God. Oh, God. What are you doing? Where are you going?
Jamie: Is everything alright?
Chris: Oh, everything's fine. Yeah. You okay? Uh, you need another blanket or anything?
Jamie: No, I'm fine.
Chris: Ah. [thinking] You're not going to make a move are you? [to Jamie] Good night, Jamie.
Jamie: Good night, Chris.
Chris: [thinking] You don't deserve a penis!

View Quote Jamie: Why do you keep messing with my head?
Chris: I messed with your head for three days. You've been torturing me for twenty years!
Jamie: Is this all because I didn't screw you in high school? Get over yourself!
Chris: After being the biggest tease for so long, trust me, I am so over myself.
Jamie: Oh, so I'm the tease? I practically throw myself at you the other night and you did nothing!
Chris: And now you know how it feels.

View Quote Eve: Be careful. All right. I'm gonna get some help, all right? Yeah. Hey, did you try to call?
Chev: You've been home all day?
Eve: I was sleeping in.
Chev: Sleeping in. That's great, Eve. Super great. You all rested, now? Glad to hear it. Listen, I've been fatally poisoned. A psychopath's on his way over to torture and kill you, but don't get out of bed, I'll be over in a flash. Could you fry up a waffle?
Eve: Sure, yeah. Come on over. I'll be here.
Chev: Right, you'll be there. Okay.
Eve: Bye.
...
[Thugs lying in wait]
Thug 1: So, let's go get the bitch!
Thug 2: Come on, please!
Thug 3: All right, all right. Jesus!
Eve: Oh my God! Is this your new look or something?
Chev: Yeah, you into it?
Eve: It's gross. Are you looking for my other boyfriend?
Chev: Yes! You haven't watched TV today, right?
Eve: No, why?
Chev: Didn't think so. Come on, we're leaving.
Eve: Don't be such a freak.
Chev: Get dressed.
Eve: Actually, can you change the clock on the microwave? I never changed it back.
Chev: What?
Eve: The microwave. Can you change the clock? The daylight savings time, I never changed it back.
Chev: The microwave?
Eve: Yes.
Chev: Listen. I bought some flowers. They got **** up on the way over.
Eve: That's sweet! You okay? You look like you're on drugs or something.
Chev: You love me, yeah?
Eve: Yes.
Chev: Then I need you to do something for me.
Eve: What? What's wrong?
Chev: I need you to put some clothes on and come with me, right now.
Eve: No.
Chev: I'll change the clock on the microwave.
Eve: Okay. All right.
Chev: Shit's wearing off.
Eve: The waffle iron's on if you want to make one.
Chev: Great.
Eve: Great. You're so stressed out. Want some pot, or something?
Chev: Yeah! Ready! [Chev deliberately burns himself on the waffle iron]
Eve: What's wrong?!
Chev: I burned my hand.
Eve: Oh, my God! Let me see it!
Chev: Don't worry about it. Hey!
Eve: What the...
Chev: I'm sorry. That was completely uncalled for. Can we just...
Eve: Fine. Parked out the back. Darn! That... thing.
Chev: What thing?
Eve: The waffle thing, I gotta turn it off. Hello? Hello?
Chev: All right, very funny.
Eve: God, I hate that. Do you want to burn the building down? Ouch!
Chev: Sorry, honey.
Eve: [Chev has noticed the ṇeạrby thugs and deliberately spills the purse contents of Eve's purse to ḟịght them] Nice one, Chev. Oh, there's my Tiger Balm. I swear to God, Chev. I don't know what you're on, but it isn't working for you. My hand cream! That's where you went. Chev? Can I have some help, here? Where's your car?
Chev: Actually, I took a cab.
...
[Chev and Eve are seated in a restaurant]
Eve: This isn't gonna be... This isn't gonna be easy, as they say.
Chev: Oh, ****er.
Eve: All right, here it is.
Chev: Sorry. I told you I was a video game programmer.
Eve: Yeah?
Chev: That was a lie. Actually... I kill people. Professional hitman. I freelance for a major West Coast crime syndicate. Last night was a job like 100 others. High dollar hit, nothing special. The Triads from Hong Kong had been moving in on the local drug cartels. My target was the number one man in L.A., Don Kim.
...
[Flashback of Chev clandestinely preparing to assassinate Don Kim]
Don Kim: Well? What are you waiting for?
...
Chev: Then, this insane idea comes in the back of my head, like a .45 slug at close range.
...
Chev: [Chev relents in killing Don Kim] Congratulations.
Don Kim: Did I win something?
Chev: Your life, jackass.
...
Chev: So, sooner or later it's gonna happen, but I'm not doing it.
Eve: I see.
Chev: Instead you're gonna do something for me. You're gonna get out of town, disappear. I don't care where you go or what you do, so long as you're invisible for 48 hours. That's all I ask. Or, if you prefer, we can do it the other way. The way where I go to work, and you meet Buddha. See... I quit. I quit the business for you.
Eve: For me?
Chev: Yeah. I figure I call you that night and tell you everything. We get on a plane, leave this shit, never come back. Pretty crazy, huh?
Eve: You are so weird.
...
Eve: Are we going on a trip?
Chev: Well... I might be going on a trip, but you're not coming with me...
[Eve is walking quickly outside the restaurant]
Chev: Please! Wait, please!
Eve: Mob hits, Chev?! Chinese poison?! Do you know how ridiculous you sound?! If you're gonna break up with me, at least you can tell me the truth! What's wrong with you?!
Chev: Wait a minute, you trust me?!
Eve: No.
Chev: [Chev begins to succumb to the “Beijing cocktail”, then grabs Eve] Make love to me.
Eve: What?!
Chev: I think it'll help.
Eve: What? Are you kidding? Get off me!
Chev: Take your clothes off.
Eve: No! No!
Chev: You said you wanted to be more spontaneous!
Eve: You're crazy! You're an adrenaline junkie with no soul!
Chev: Save me, Eve. Save my life!
Eve: Stop it! [Punches him] I'm sorry. Oh my God, are you okay? Are you okay? [Ċhev grạbs her ạgạịṇ] No! No!
Chev: Shit!
Eve: [Chev gets on top of her] Get off! You filthy animal! Take me right here, in front of everyone! That's it! Come on! Do it! What are you waiting for?!
Chev: Jesus! Come on! I'm trying! Shush!
Eve: Oh, God! Now you can't get it up? Come on, get it up!
Chev: I'll **** get it up!
Eve: Goddammit, Chev!
Chev: Shut up! [Starts vigorously doggy-styling Eve and pumps with fists] I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive, you mother****ers! Oh, my God! Wow! Oh, my God! Yes! [All the passerbys all cheer in synchronity of Chev and he answers phone] Yeah?
Eve: What are you doing?!
Chev: Yeah.
Kaylo: I've got Verona!
Chev: Kaylo?!
Kaylo: I've got Verona, man.
Chev: What? No shit? Where are you?
Kaylo: Don Kim's shirt factory, upstairs.
Eve: What's the matter with you?!
Chev: 5th and Alameda?
Eve: Who's at 5th and Alameda?!
Chev: Don't let that ****er out of your sight! Hear me? With you in 10 minutes. You got it?!
Kaylo: Yeah, Chev.
Chev: [Hangs up phone] Honey, I gotta go. I'll call you! [Leaves]
Eve: [To bystanders] Oh God, what are you looking at?!

View Quote Carlito henchman: [Ends a call on Don Kim's shirt factory rooftop] **** call me talking shit! I'm doing my job. I'm doing my shit. I'm up here chillin', doing what I do. I'm a rooftop mother- [Chev comes up behind the Carlito henchman lightly pushing him and pointing a gun at his forehead] hey, Chevy! What's up, dog? You chillin'? You good? What a coincidence!
Chev Chelio: What do you mean?
Carlito henchman: What, you waiting for a bus?
Chev Chelio: Actually, I thought a helicopter... what is this?
Carlito henchman: What?
Chev Chelio: You working for the Chinese?
Carlito henchman: The Chinese?! You crazy? I wouldn't do that to you.
Chev Chelio: I am crazy. Where's Kaylo? [Raises up both hands] Okay, ding. Time's up.
Carlito henchman: [Chev lunges at the henchman] What do you mean, "ding"?! [Chev grabs the henchman] What do you mean, "ding"?! [Chev throws the henchman off the roof]
Chev Chelio: Where is that mother****er?! [Chev then goes some floors below and appears before three Carlito henchmen]
Carlito henchman: Chev.
Chev Chelio: [Noticing the murdered body of Kaylo] What the **** is this?!
Carlito henchman: Chev, baby. Take it easy.
Chev Chelio: Oh, you mean like this? [Points gun at henchman who just blinks eyes and turns head slightly] Now you tell me where that little toe-rag mother****er is; Verona.
Carlito henchman: Verona's got nothing to do with this!
Chev Chelio: What?!
Carlito henchman: Don Carlos wants you off the streets.
Chev Chelio: Carlito?!
Carlito henchman: You've totally lost your shit, dog! Your all over tv, destroying property, making unauthorized hits?! You are bringing the organization a great deal of embarrassment!
Chev Chelio: Organization?! You mean Carlito ordered all of this?!
Carlito henchman: Look, don't worry about Verona, we'll take care of him, the best thing for you to do is just find some nice dark quiet place... and just die. I mean, we all gotta die some time right?
Chev Chelio: Die. Just die. What, you think I've got **** written all over my face? [Chelios points to forehead and a CGI text of **** appears on Chelios forehead] So, I'll just die. [Suddenly Eve comes up in elevator]
Carlito henchman: What the... What the... [Chev opens fire on henchman starting a gun fight and Chev gets shot trying to escape in elevator]
Eve: You got shot!
Chev: Mother... Jesus!
Chev Chelio: Eve, move!
Carlito henchman: You, asshole!
Eve: Don't talk to him like that! My boyfriend kills people!
Chev Chelio: Nice.
Eve: Oh, God! I had to see if you were telling the truth.

View Quote Eve: Jesus! ****! Are they really...
Chev Chelio: They're dead.
Eve: How do you... How can you do that?
Chev Chelio: I told you, baby. I quit.
Eve: [He parks the car] Where are you going?! [He gets out]
Chev Chelio: Stay there, honey. [He walks into a hardware store and Eve finds him hammering nails into his leg] Jesus! ****!
Eve: Chev!
Chev Chelio: Asshole! I can't feel my leg. Shit!
...
Chev Chelio: I've been trying to call you for a half hour. Where the **** have you been?
Doc Miles: In my office. Can you make it over here?
Chev Chelio: Sure' why not?
...
Doc Miles: Chocolate' what's this **** receipt from Gold Foods Market for $254?
Chocolate: Snacks.
...
Eve: I hate television.
...
Chev Chelio: I owe you again, Doc.
Doc Miles: Chevy' you're my best customer.
Chev Chelio: What is this stuff?
Doc Miles: Synthetic epinephrine... diluted with some saline.
Chev Chelio: Feels sort of good.
Doc Miles: Well, I got a little meth in there' too. You're feeling the endorphins.
Chev Chelio: Wait a minute. I'm not better?
Doc Miles: No' you're not better. You're in such shit shape' it's stunning. I can't believe your heart's beating. You should be in a **** medical journal.
Chev Chelio: So, what are you going to do?
Doc Miles: The solution acts as a competing inhibitor. It's pushing the poison out of your receptors' and replacing it with a chemical. It's just a temporary fix.
Chev Chelio: Then what?
Doc Miles: Then you're ****. I can put you on life support and string this out for a few days. But you're going to go into a comma at some point. Does she know?
Doc Miles: Why don't I load you up with something, and you can go out in a beautiful dream.
Chev Chelio: A dream.
Doc Miles: Can I do that for you?
Chev Chelio: No, no, no. That's not what I want.
Doc Miles: What do you want?
Chev Chelio: One hour. I want one hour.
Doc Miles: Give me a ****in' break.
...
News reporter: So, the wild rampage that began 9am in L.A. Continues. The suspect, still at large.
...
Associate: We didn't give him enough Chinese shit.
Ricky: You think?! [Answers phone] Dude, it's him! What's up, corpse?
Chev: Bonjour, douche bag, Thought you might be interested in a deal.
Ricky: Oh, you a dealer, now?
Chev: Don't you worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.
Ricky: Oh, the antidote?!
Chev: That's right, the antidote.
Ricky: What you prepared to give me?
Chev: How about that jewelry I got off that **** brother of yours, you ****? Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
Ricky: Okay.
Chev: You like the deal?
Ricky: Whatever!
Chev: Be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?
Ricky: Yeah.
Chev: Don't be late, or I'll trade the thing to a whore for a hand job. Look, I said I said I'd ****in' be...
Ricky: ****!
Chev: See you later, sunshine. Dammit! ****!
Ricky: Yo, it's Verona. You won't believe this call I just got.
...
Chev: It's gonna be all right, baby.
Eve: But you said...
Chev: No, no. Things have changed. There's an antidote. I can make a deal for it, but I got to go alone.
Eve: I'm scared.
Chev: Of course. You'll be safe, now. And I'll be back.
Eve: Promise?
Chev: I promise.
Ricky: What's happening, bro?!
...
[Chev steps into hotel elevator]
Asian man: [In woman's voice] Where did I go wrong?!
Chev: You ****in' just say something?
Asian man: It's like talking to the wall.
Chev: Mom?
Asian man: I'm amazed you remember you have a mother.
Chev: Please, I haven't got time for this.
Asian man: You're never around. I've never seen you in the house in sixteen years.
Chev: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right mom, with you popping valium like tic tacs. I really wouldn't wish at all someone would so this. Why would I stick around for entertainment like this?
Asian man: [In Ạsian language] That's hurtful.
Chev: Please, I've no time for this.
Asian man: [In Orlando's voice] You got no time, period. You're a persistent mother****er, Chelios. I give you that.
Chev: Orlando?
Chev: This is weird.
Asian man: Yeah, I know this is weird, but you know, this has gotta stop sometime. [In Ạsian language] Who do you think you are? Michael Myers [In Ricky's voice] They pop you and you keep getting up?
Chev: I'm the terminator.
Asian man: You was, but here's a new gun in town.
Chev: You know, I just don't get it. Why didn't you cut me up when you had the chance?
Asian man: Too easy, mother****er. Look at you. Bi-polar, sadomasochistic tendencies... Adrenaline junkie...
Alter Chev ego: ...addicted to violence... probably spends every day looking for the big thrill, the big rush, Carving up a guy while he screams in his own blood and excrement, would be like... like a gift. A warriors death.
Asian man: [Chev's voice] Hell, you'd probably get off on it.
Chev: Why do you ask this?
Alter Chev ego: Maybe it's best for a guy like you. Going downhill. Winding down. Inevitable. Under so many circumstances.
Chev: Who are you anyway?
Asian man: [In Asian language] Don't you know?
Chev: I think I'm starting to figure it out.
Asian man: [In Chev's voice] Better late than never. You know you're gonna die up there.
Chev: Yeah, maybe. But I'm taking you with me. [Alter ego Chev becomes radiant with UV light and then disappears with the Asian man becoming default] Some pills, Doc.
Asian man: [In Asian language] Did you **** say something?
Henchman: Chelios?
Chev: [Ċhev ạpproạçhes] Hello, girls.
Henchman: Hold up. Give me the piece. [Çoṇḟịsçạtes Ċhev's ḟịreạrm]
Chev: Now, isn't that a **** picture?
Carlito: Chelios. What a **** nightmare you are.
Chev: No shit.
Carlito: Sit down.
Ricky: Whoa! Wait a minute. You pat him down, again. I know he's carrying something. [Ḥeṇçhmạṇ pulls out ạ tube çoṇṇeçted boẋ]
Carlito: Let me see that.
Chev: Mother****er.
Carlito: Clever. What is this, an insulin pump?
Chev: Basically.
Ricky: What the **** is Insulin? [Carlito holds up finger for silence]
Carlito: Ephedrine, right?
Chev: Yeah.
Carlito: You're very resourceful.
Chev: Found a new master, little bitch?
Ricky: I'm nobody's bitch.
Chev: You'll be a bitch when Carlito hires you for half what he paid me.
Carlito: That's enough.
Chev: You'll throw boss a reach-around, show him you're a good bitch.
Ricky: I'm nobody's little bitch! [Points gun at Chev] You ****in' hear me? He'll pay me what I tell him to pay!
Carlito: That's enough! Sit down! It's been a long **** day. In the end, you have to admit, it all works out quite nicely. Don Kim gets his bullet, thanks to you, and Hong Kong gets a goat to take the fall. Please understand, it's nothing personal.
Ricky: Speak for yourself. [Mimics a kiss]
Chev: That what I think it is?
Carlito: It's the Chinese shit. Hold him down.
Chev: [Makes a gun gesture] Not so fast, mother****er!
Ricky: He's gone dipsy-do, yo! [Chev points at him] Whatever, psycho!
Carlito: I'm afraid the Houdini act is over, my friend. [Points at a henchman who falls down from a headshot]
Ricky: Our Father, who art in...
Carlito: Shut up!
Don Kim: So, this is how it is! [Camera pan-out reveals Don Kim and his hitmen team]
Ricky: It's Don Kim! He's supposed to be dead!
Chev: Presto. [Gun fight between henchmens of Carlito and Don Kim ensues]
News reporter: Police have moved to surround the Hotel Lint, where the madman behind today's mayhem... is holed up and making a desperate last stand. Officials have confirmed gunfire on the sundeck. Our news chopper will bring live, uncensored coverage from above the hotel. Again, this coverage is uncensored, so any small children present should leave the room.
...
[Ricky has given chase to the helicopter with Chev in pursuit]
Ricky: Get me out of here! I'll kill you, Chelios!
Chev: Too late!
Carlito: [A Don Kim thug has thrown a grenade] Look out! [Grabs a henchman to cover the grenade]
Henchman: Thanks, boss.
Ricky: Let's get the **** out of here, now! Let's go!
Chev: [Points gun] Present from Kaylo.
Ricky: Now what?
Chev: Now you say shit!
Carlito: Where the **** were you?!
Ricky: [Plunges syringe into Chev's neck] Who's the bitch, now?! [Shoots Carlito and climbs into helicopter] No, no! You fly, mother****er! Mother****in' fly!
Chev: You're dead!
Ricky: [Chev and Ricky are fighting in the airborne helicopter and they fall out in free fall still fighting] Oh my God! You're dead! You're dead, mother****er!
Chev: Thought I'd told you I'd kill you, you little bitch! [Chev then snaps Ricky's neck who drifts away lifeless and Chev then makes a phone call]
Chev: Hey, its Eve. I'm glad you called but I'm not here. Leave a message, unless you're selling something 'cause I'm not interested. If you're not, then just... Wait, time's up. Hey, doll... Looks like I let you down, again. Seems like all my life I've just been going... going... going... I wish I'd taken more time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Well, I guess it's too late for that now. You're the greatest, baby. [Chev lands on a vehicle, bounces onto the road and a heartbeat is heard]

View Quote Nothing ever gets better.

View Quote Kayleigh Miller: Where'd you learn those new tricks?
Evan: What? It... it wasn't... weird... was it?
Kayleigh Miller: Yeah, if you call multiple orgasms weird!

View Quote Evan: I just thought that you should know.
Kayleigh Miller: Know what?
Evan: That you were happy once... with me.
Kayleigh Miller: You know there's one major hole in your story, there is no **** way on this planet, nor any other I would ever be in some **** sorority.
Evan: [Whispering] You were happy there...