Orlando quotes from Crank: High Voltage (2009)

View Quote You my ****. Can't get no bigger. L.A. Underground, we're like a family, man. We a freak-ass family, but we family, all right? We look out for our own.

View Quote Orlando: Don't leave no skid marks, ****. Work that ass, baby. Ride that shit, big sexy! Put your arm up, son. Eight seconds, ****! Yeah. Oh, my God. [Answers phone] Hello.
Venus: Orlando?
Orlando: Venus! What is up, my man? Where you been, man? I ain't seen your ass since We was all of us broken up about what happened to your brother. You okay?
Venus: Orlando, I need your help.
Orlando: Venus, come on. You my ****. Can't get no bigger. L.A. Underground, we're like a family, man. We a freak-ass family, but we family, all right? We look out for our own. What?
Venus: I'm looking for a man called The Ferret. El Huron.
Orlando: Shit. Ferret?!
Police officer: [Pointing guns at Eve] Freeze! Hey! Now, spread it. All right, let's go. Against the car.

View Quote El Huron: Hola, Chev.
Chev Chelios: I take it you're the greasy ****er that's been huntin' me all day.
El Huron: The Ferret. Some people know me by this **** name. And many men have died cursing the name of El Huron... as they choked on their own blood and the blood of their families.
Chev Chelios: Colorful geezer.
El Huron: I was born with another name... the name of my father.
Chev Chelios: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah, ****in' hell.
El Huron: And my father's father's.
Chev Chelios: We're all very sad.
El Huron: And the name... that I share... with my two brothers... Alejandro... and Ricardo.
Chev Chelios: Verona.
El Huron: Well, l-I can tell... by the tick-tick-tick... that you had no idea... that there was a third brother.
Chev Chelios: Nope. That fact escaped me... or I assure you, Elvis, I would have made it a **** hat trick.
El Huron: I got a trick-or-treat for you cabrőn. I'm gonna make you wish... that you was never a man.
Chev Chelios: If you want to kill what's left of me, you get on with it.
El Huron: What's the rush, Chelios? I know someone who's going to love to watch this. [Unveils an incubation tank that is the life support of Ricky's head]
...
Doc Miles: You. You got the donor?
Chocolate: Like you got a boner.
Poon Dong: Hey, baby. You always say y-you want to be more spontaneous.
Chocolate: Uh-uh, cowboy.
Poon Dong: Huh?
Chocolate: We gonna go back to my place.
Poon Dong: Ooh. Yeah. That sounds good.
...
El Huron: Ricardo never wanted my money Chelios. He was, uh, too stubborn. He wanted to make his own way. But now I think he likes what my money can buy. The technology to keep his brain alive. Not forever but long enough to watch you die.
Orlando: Yo, Ferret, this ain't Roots, man. [Orlando's posse has arrived and are all pointing their guns]
El Huron: Que?
Venus: Hey, cabrõn. [Venus's posse has arrived along with Ria's posse and are all pointing their guns]
El Huron: You got to be **** kidding me.
Venus: You killed my brother, mother****er. Prepare to die.
El Huron: No! **** you, Chelios! Ronnie James Dio! Chucha madre!
...
Chocolate: This way, sugar.
Doc Miles: [Holds up surgical instruments] Confucius say... karma's a bitch.
Poon Dong: Uh-oh.
...
Chev Chelios: Hello, Ricky. Why do we go on like this, Ricky? Hurting each other? Water? Did you say, "Water"? H-two-O coming right up. [Kicks Ricky's head into the pool] Mother****er!
Ricky: [Drowning in pool] Chev Cherios! Che... Chev Cherios. Chev. Chev. Che... Che... Che...
...
[Doc Miles is operating on Chev Chelios]
Doc Miles: I'm cuttin' the battery. The battery's out. Paddles. Give me the paddles.
Eve: What's going on?!
Doc Miles: Chevy. Clear! ****! Shit! [Chev's electrocardiogram flatlines]
Eve: No! God! [Eve is lead away by Doc Miles and after a moment, Chev's eyes burst open]
...
[Ending credits bloopers]
Pornstar: Droppin' loads all over your silly wages! You think these muscles are free? You think this ****'s for free? No way! No scabs, no crabs! No scabs, no crabs! I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back! I'm gonna bang your prisoner! Droppin' loads all over your prisoner!
...
Jason Statham: I take it you're the **** that's been hunting me all day.
Production staff: No- No- No- No. No.
Jason Statham: I take it day. The ****. The ****. Oh, sorry, the Ferret.
...
Pornstar: No dough, no blow! No dough, no blow! Dicks like this don't come for free! Huh. Lips like this don't come for free. That's what I meant to say. I got lost. I meant, "Lips like this don't come for free."