Chev Chelios [Catches up with Johnny Vang after chase]
Did I just drop some change... [grabs Johnny Vang by neck] ...or did I hear a chink?
More lines from Chev Chelios
3 quotes Chev Chelios Chev Chelios [Upon seeing guys using a shock collar on their dog]
You pair of sausage nigels! How do you sleep at night?
Chev Chelios [Peering into Johnny's cooler]
This isn't my **** pumper! Becomes deeply revulsed] What is that? What kind of sick freak carries around something like this in a box? I am shocked to my ****in' core. You have got some big problems, mother****er. [Drops cooler on ground] What the **** is that?
Scenes with Chev Chelios
17 scenes
Chinese Doctor 1
[Conversing in either Mandarin/Cantonese]
How long can we keep him alive?
Chinese Doctor 2
Maybe long time. He die hard with a vengeance.
Chinese Doctor 1
Big Boss need to harvest his cornucopia of organs for later. Lungs, pancreas, bladder...
Chinese Doctor 2
What comes out next?
Chinese Doctor 1
Boss gave specific order. [Doctor points to a diagram and circles the reproductive organ with Chev fully aware of the intentions]
Nurse [Lifts up medical blanket]
Oh, you big **** English. Strong like horse.
Chev Chelios **** that. [He proceeds to brutally assault the two doctors before escaping]
Long Beach Nose Punch Triad [Taps on Chev's shoulder pointing a two tone Springfield XD pistol at Chev]
You Lost?
Chev Chelios Nope. [Parries the gun out of the gunman's hand and slams his forearm in his face knocking him out]
Chev Chelios Alright, Chow Mein. Who do you work for?!
Shot Gun Triad **** you, Chelios! [Chev whacks him with the butt of the shotgun]
Chev Chelios **** grunt! [Dips shotgun barrel in oil, pulls down the thug's pants, makes a face like; I-can't-believe-I'm-going-to-enjoy-doing-this and then brutally rams the shotgun up his anus] You found me in quite an unpleasant mood this morning, mate. Now I'm going to ask you this question one time. Who's got my **** strawberry tart?! [Thug looks at him confused and Chev points to his heart while an on-screen subtitle says "strawberry tart=heart"] Capische?! [The thug starts stuttering] J- j- j- j- just spit the **** name out! [Starts further ramming the shotgun in the thug's ass and starts wiggling it]
Shot Gun Triad Johnny Vang!
Chev Chelios Johnny **** Vang?! JOHNNY **** VANG?! Good boy! Where?!
Shot Gun Triad Cypress Social Club!
Chev Chelios Cypress-Cypress Social Club? Now you're sure about that, ain't ya?! [Thug nods head]
Chev Chelios Good boy! Thanks for coming! Now you can keep that! [Leaves the shotgun up the thug's ass and walks away]
Chev Chelios Yeah, Doc. It's Chev.
[Doc Miles spews his drink and ice shaking his head rapidly]
Jesus H. Chelios! You've gotta be kidding me!
Chev Chelios Listen, I'm deadly ****in' serious, Doc. These Triad mother****ers cut out my ****in' heart and put in one of those plastic artificial jobs.
You got an artificial heart?
Chev Chelios Do you think I'm having a ****in' laugh?!
No-No-No, but you got to admit, it's a little out there, dude.
Chev Chelios Yeah, you take your ****in' time, Doc.
You don't have any time, if you've got an artificial heart. They're not designed to keep you alive more than a couple days while you're waitin' on a transplant. And don't do anything strenuous.
Chev Chelios Yeah, sure, Doc. No problem. So what's my next ****in' move?
Well, we got to get a real heart put back in you preferably your own.
Chev Chelios I'm on it.
Okay, you're on it.
Chev Chelios Doc! Jesus **** Christ!
I'm-I'm sorry. Sorry. Does-Does-- Let me-- Does that thing have a a-a-a a belt battery pack?
Chev Chelios Check.
How many bars are showing?
Chev Chelios One.
Shit. That's better than none, I guess. Look, what they did you with is an Avicor Total Artificial Heart. It's got an internal battery that'll pick up once the belt battery dies. It's like a reserve tank. Once the internal battery takes over, you got one ****in' hour. The internal battery charges wirelessly through its transcutaneous energy transfer system. Two coils, there's one internal, one external that transmit the, uh, magnetic force across the skin without piercing the surface. The internal coil receives power and sends it to the controller device. Is this makin' any ****in' sense to you, Chevy?
Chev Chelios It's **** Greek, Doc.
Greek. Look, you got to keep your body electrically charged to keep that piece of shit pumpin'.
Chev Chelios Copy that.
Hey, Chev.
Chev Chelios Yeah.
I'm stoked you're alive, dude.
Chev Chelios I'll get back to you, Doc.
Yeah, well, y- Call me.
Chev Chelios ****!
Cholo
Hey-Hey-Hey! That's a nice car.
Chev Chelios I don't suppose you know where the Cypress Social Club is, do you?
Cholo
Man, **** that shit, puto. Let's race, ese.
Chev Chelios Don't you tempt me, ****er. What I need from you is directions. Oh, shit. Shit! [Chev rams a concret barrier and goes flying through windshield]
Cholo
Damn, dog. You good, esé?
Chev Chelios Tiger **** Woods. Never better. Greatest day of my **** life. You gents couldnt point me in the direction of the Cypress Social Club, could ya?
Cholo
Well, you ain't too far. You go down Orange for, like, two miles and then you're there, homes.
Chev Chelios Cool. You mind givin' me a jump? Just juice me. [Clamps jump cables to his nipples]
Chev Chelios [Walks up to a pack of Cholo thugs]
Hey, Menudo, where's the ****in' Social Club? [They are silent] Uh, dondé esta La Social Club? [One points to house]
Cholo
Buénos nachos, white boy.
...
Chev [Chev walks up to house and Ria is thrown out front door and a topless obese man comes out] [To obese man]
You Johnny Vang? [Obese man shakes head and Chev slaps him, knocking him out and Chev walks into house, wreaking mayhem, throwing people out windows and prostitutes run out with Johnny Vang running into a vehicle]
Johnny Go!
[She climbs up to obese man]
No sucky ****y for your asshole! [Grabs broken bicycle] **** suck face! **** whore! Shrimp dick! BB balls! [Rams bicycle repeatedly on man's crotch] Chicken fat! [Two Triad thugs pull up] What you two ****s looking at?!
Cypress Triad Hood #1 Get lost bitch.
**** you! [To Triad, about Chev] This dude my Kevin Costner! He going to beat you off!
Cypress Triad Hood #1 What?!
Chev Where's Johnny Vang?
Cypress Triad Hood #1 You looking to get your ass killed dog?!
You ask for it, he's gonna tap your ass!
Chev Wrong expression.
Cypress Triad Hood #1 You ain't tappin' my ass! [Points gun]
[Chev parries the gun out of the hood and beats both hoods with them running to their vehicle] There you go, cupcake. [Ria jumps on Chev's back trying to kiss him and Chev pushes her off] **** no balling for me today, thanks. There goes my ride!
Chev What's that, **** ****-onese?! I'd rather stick my dick in a blender!
Chev Johnny Vang?
Yes.
Chev Where? [She points down street]
Hey, dude, why do you run?! Wait for me!
Chev [He attempts to carjack a station wagon]
Get out of the **** car! Out!
Station wagon driver
Get your own station wagon, asshole! Get the **** off! Damn!
Chev ****!
You taking it too fast with me!
Chev Which way?!
I want you to take it slow.
Chev Which way?
Hey! Hey! You didn't ask name!
Chev Shut up a minute, for ****'s sake! Where is he?! Johnny Vang?!
Yes. [Points]
Chev Chelios [Chev has arrived at a strip club and Eve comes out dancing]
Eve? Eve. Here, baby. Eve! [Takes her hand]
Chev.
Hey. I need you to take your ****in' hands off Lemon now, man.
Chev Chelios Who the **** are you?
Who the **** am I? Who the **** are you? Do you know this guy, Lemon?
Chev Chelios Lemon?
You were dead. Uh... I'm...uh, I'm so confused right now. What's that ticking sound?
Yeah, what is that sound? You're kinda weird, tick-man. It's time for you to go!
Chev Chelios Randy? Randy? Come here.
Chev Chelios Not you. Babe, it's not--
Who the **** is that?
Chev Chelios Ah, some whore. ****, no. That was a mistake. Oh, ****. Look she's helpin' me find my heart.
Yeah. What?!
Chev Chelios Go away! Come on, let's go. What? Oh, you dozy ****.
Chev Chelios I'm up for that, when we've all had a drink.
Should I duck?
Chev Chelios Yeah. [A gun battle ensues]
...
Chev Chelios Shall I bypass the formalities?
Thug Of course.
Chev Chelios Who do you work for and what the **** do they want with me?
Thug EI Huron.
Chev Chelios English! What's a ****in' ee-el-who-done?
Thug It's a ferret. He wants you alive... so he can watch you die.
Chev Chelios Oh, yeah? Why?
Thug I don't know. Doesn't everybody?
Chev Chelios Shut up. Ooh, you lucky bastard.
Why didn't you call me?
Chev Chelios Like **** I didn't. Didn't you get my message? [Scene of answering machine playing distorted blowing wind as Chev was free falling from helicopter]
No! Where have you been for the last three months? I thought you were dead.
Chev Chelios I fell a mile out of a helicopter. It's a long story.
No way! You know what? That's totally possible. I saw this video on YouTube where this guy's parachute doesn't open and he falls like fourteen thousand feet and he lives.
Chev Chelios Yes baby, I know it's possible because I ****in' did it!
Chev Chelios Since when were you on the Internet?
You know, a lot of things have changed since you died.
Chev Chelios I didn't ****in' die.
Well, that's besides the point, isn't it? [To Pepper] Get off!
Ooh!
Where are we going, Chev?
Chev Chelios I don't know. I need to find that slant from the club, the one with the red cooler.
Are you talking about Johnny Vang?
Chev Chelios Do you know Johnny Vang?
I know his ass. He's got that box with him all the time.
Chev Chelios: That box. I need it.
I can bet on my grandma's coochie he's at the horse track.
Dude, you gonna put Johnny Vang on ice?
Maybe.
That's so ****in' sexy.
****in' dead.
Damn it. Do me. I'll do you.
Bitch.
Chev Chelios I got to get a hold... I've got to call Doc. I need a cell phone.
Why didn't you just say it? I have a cell phone. Here.
Chev Chelios You got a cell phone. I got you. Okay?
You've got to work for the things that... Chevy?
Chev Chelios I lost the belt battery, Doc.
How long ago?
Chev Chelios Over an hour
Jesus Christ, that's not ****in' possible, Chevy. You should be dea... ****, never mind. Look... it's a wireless system, so any kind of low-level electrical shock to your skin should juice it. At least temporarily. Hey, Chev I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I... I was. I lost my license after I **** up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is if you can get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you.
Chev Chelios Okay, Doc. I'll be in touch when I find that Chinese **** that's got me pump. That you even had to choose between Phyllis and me. Chinese?
Sharon, I just shut down, okay? I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. Hey, Chocolate would you get off your fat ass and get dressed?
Chocolate Why?
Do you have any idea... how silly Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch? Do you know that I was waiting for those results, too? I needed to put things in perspective.
Chev Chelios Oh, you needed? I see, you needed. I think I know who we're dealing with. That's how you do things now.
Pornstar chant
[Chev pulls up to a riot of pornstars picketing on strike]
"Hell, no, we won't blow!"
Chev Chelios For ****'s sake move! Jesus. Shit! What the ****! Shit!
Pornstars
That's right! You're gonna pay me by the inch, bitch! You make a living! We want to make a living! You carry a weapon! We carry weapons... in our pants. Sick and tired of this! Pay me my ****in' wages, mother ****ers! Droppin' loads on all of your silly wages! They need their money. What, do you want me to **** this car? What, do you want me to **** this car? [Pornstar actress is on windshield] Suck my ****in' tits!
Chev Chelios Get off the car!
Pornstar
I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!
Hi.
Pornstars
We're just sick and tired of this! Just because it's porn doesn't mean we all want to do it! We like to get paid for it!
Police officer
[Police cruisers pull up]
This is a weird scene. We've got pissed-off beaver everywhere. [Chev takes off] We're on pursuit.
Camcorder guy
[Chev jumps on a staircase railing to slide down in spirit of local skateboarders but slips, falling on crotch]
Whoa! "Oh!"
Chev Chelios ****!
...
Dog guy 1
[Two men are using a shock collar to train a dog in the park]
Sit! Good... I'm just makin' sure. Whatever. Dude, he's totally doing what he's supposed to.
Dog guy 2
Well, he's got to know who's in charge.
Dog guy 1
Dude! Come on!
Dog guy 2
He's gonna eat somebody's baby and you're gonna be in... No, dude, chill. Uh, you're gonna get sued.
Dog guy 1
He's totally doing what he's supposed. to be doing. Come on.
Dog guy 2
Whatever. I wanted a cat.
Dog guy 1
****!
Dog guy 2
See? Way better than a cat, man.
Dog guy 1
Whatever.
Chev Chelios [Walks up to the them]
Who's this ****in' asshole? You pair of sausage-Nigels. How do you sleep at night?
Dog guy 1
Who is this guy?
Chev Chelios I'm from PETA. This is animal cruelty, you ****ers. Hello, there.
Dog guy 1
Hey, give that back, you liberal freak.
Chev Chelios Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah.
Dog guy 1
Um... Dude.
Chev Chelios ****in' shame on you two.
Dog guy 1
That's two hundred and fifty dollars. I tell you.
Chev Chelios You pair of ****s. Press the **** button.
Dog guy 1
Well, take it back. Hit him.
Chev Chelios [Dog guy 2 presses shock button]
Not so bad.
Dog guy 1
Disgusting.
Chev Chelios Morning. Mom would be so proud. Sorry about that. Give me that thing.
Dog guy 1
No.
Dog guy 1
Yeah, there you go. Go on.
Chev Chelios Ruff, ruff, ruff ruff, ruff ruff! If you don't press that ****in' button, you're goin' in the pond.
Dog guy 2
I'm pressing it. Press it!
Chev Chelios Come on, what's the matter? ****in' wake up! [Slaps Dog guy 1] Make him press the button you...
Dog guy 1
Give him the ****in'...
Chev Chelios What are you, ****in' useless?!
Dog guy 2
Hey! No problem.
Police officer
Stop right there! Stop!
Chev Chelios Oh, shit. [Gives chases]
Dog guy 2
Oh. See, that's what I told you.
Police officer
[Dog attacks officer biting at crotch]
My ****in' nuts! Get him off!
Dog guy 2
It's all right! Will our insurance cover that?!
Police officer
Stop it! Freeze! Get down! Get down! Turn around! Get down! What the **** is that around your neck?! Get down on the ground! Show me your...
Chev Chelios [Venus pulls up on a moped]
Are you ****in' kidding me?! Kaylo?!
Get on!
Police officer
Both of you down on the ground now!
Get down! Get down!
Police officer
Get off that ****in' moped!
Chev Chelios Kaylo, I thought you were dead.
My name's Venus. I'm from Hollywood. Kaylo was my brother.
Chev Chelios Brother? No shit. Hey, what the **** did you hit me for, anyway?
I have a condition. FBT, Full Body Tourette's. I can't control myself.
Chev Chelios Jesus! ****! What the ****? Hey, listen, I'm sorry about your brother, but I need to get to the Hollywood Park racetrack. And I mean right the **** now. What's the matter, are you hurlin' or something?
Is that where they're at?
Chev Chelios Who?
The ill suckers that killed my brother. You're Chev "The Cheese" Chelios, right? The sickest, most wickedest mother****er that ever vaporized a mother****er in cold blood, right?
Chev Chelios Yeah. That's me.
Yeah. So we're gonna get those suckers...
Chev Chelios Get a grip on yourself. It's already done.
Huh?
Chev Chelios It's done. I already took care of the ones that did Kaylo.
But... All of them?
Chev Chelios All of them. D-E-A-D. Brown bread.
Right Said Fred?
Chev Chelios Simply Red.
I see.
Chev Chelios Well, don't look so gloomy, Elvis. I can assure you they did not die pleasantly.
No... you don't understand. It's a matter of honor. It should have been me to avenge my brother's death. Well... so long, Chelios.
Chev Chelios My brain hurts. There is one I never got to on account of I could never find him. The one that calls himself "The Ferret."
El Huron?
Chev Chelios You know him?
No. It means "The Ferret" in Spanish.
Chev Chelios Right. Yeah, I knew that. Listen, you want to find the dude that made your brother dead, you find him.
You're Chev Chelios, right? The sickest, most wicked-ist mother****er that ever vaporized mother****ers in cold-blood, right?
Chev Chelios Yeah, that's me.
Chev Chelios **** useless!
Yeah? Well, you ain't no Ralph Macchio yourself, Chev!
Chev Chelios [Holding Ricky's head]
Why do we keep going on like this, Ricky? Hurting each other?
Ricky Verona [Weakly]
Water...
Chev Chelios H20? Coming right up! [Kicks Ricky's head into the nearby pool]
Get in. Chev Chelios.
Chev Don mother**** Kim. So you pull my lily-white ass out of the hot grease again.
Please, don't thank me.
Chev I don't think I shall. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Jeeves... but your slant-eyed associates have taken something... of extreme value to me. And I intend to get it back.
You know what you are, Chev Chelios?
Chev Tell me.
You... are a shit magnet. [Venus starts experiencing an episode of FBT and is expelled from the vehicle] Your friend has the gay condition. [Laughs] And now, where were we?
Chev You were about to tell me exactly who's got what I need and why.
You may have heard of the name Poon Dong.
Chev Only in dirty limericks.
The patriarch of our organization. Said to be 100 years old. Considered to be more god than man by the Triad gangs. But several months ago, word had spread out... that Poon Dong had taken gravely ill. And without a heart transplant, he only had a few days left to live.
Chev I see.
Of course, that was unacceptable. Many would have given their hearts... from their own breasts to save the life of Poon Dong. But not me. **** that. But many. Then word spread out that there was a man... who had a heart so powerful that he was capable... of surviving even our most deadliest of poisons.
Chev The Chinese shit.
It was your heart that Poon Dong chose to replace his own.
Chev One more question. Who the **** is El Hurón, The Ferret? And how is he involved with all this?
The Ferret? Let's just say our organizations have a history of conflicting interests.
Chev I see. Well, it's mighty white of you to help me out like this. Now, if you don't mind.
Who said I was helping you out? My reward for returning you to Poon Dong will be great.
Chev So this is how it is.
This is how it is. [Chev grabs the uzi from a henchman and massacres all the men in the limo]
Chev [The limo is about to crash into a pole]
Chicken and broccoli. [Chev gets out and uses gun to break open an electrical transformer box and deliberately electrocutes himself]
Keith Jardine
Dude, are you all right?
Chev Never better. [Runs away]
Chev Chelios [After being told by Doc Miles about finding someone to rub against, he starts rubbing a spectator's arm and the spectator pushes him off]
Terrific race. [Points to the horse he picked] That's a great horse, mate. [Continues rubbing his arm]
Hollywood Park Guy What the ****, man? What the ****?
Chev Chelios You did it! Mate, that was all you.
EMT
[Chev breaks into an ambulance]
This is an ambulance, you ****head! Keep hydrating those organs! Hold it in! Jesus. What are you doing? :EMT:This is an ambulance!
Chev Right, mother****er. I'm aware of that. I'm in need of emergency services.
EMT Yeah, we have got a guy in the back of the ambulance! Get him out of here, man.
Chev That's one of Don Kim's blokes.
EMT
This man is in critical condition. Get out of here.
Chev I'm aware of that. I'm the ****er that put him there. [Pulls out gun and points it at EMT's head]
EMT
Now... Okay, he's got a gun!
Chev You're my physician. Okay. I'm in need of an external lithium battery belt for an Avicor Total Artificial Heart. Might you have such a thing? :EMT:We're gonna lose it, Bronc. Please, look, this guy is **** dying.
Chev Don't worry about him. He's not gonna make it. Now, about my battery.
EMT
Yeah, you said the Avicor TAH. Yeah, we got it. But why? Holy shit.
Chev Chop, chop. Okay.
EMT He's **** dead, man. Do you mind?
Chev You ready for this shit? Do it then. Turn the **** thing on. Feels like crack. Yeah, but better.
EMT You know, those things aren't designed for strenuous activity.
Chev Tell me about it.
Psychiatrist It's completely normal to be freaked out when someone has a gun at your head. I would've shit myself.
Ankleson
I still have nightmares.
Psychiatrist Everybody has nightmares. The point is by coming here and talking with me you made a choice to confront your issues and lick 'em.
Ankleson
I can't even leave my **** apartment. I cl... Every time I go up to... leave the door, I-I see the guy with the gun.
Psychiatrist [Flashback to previous film of Chev holding gun to hospital orderly's head in the hall for epinephrine]
Think about it like this, Ankleson. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You gotta go out and enjoy it. Knock back a couple of beers, hit a titty bar.
Ankleson
Excuse me?!
Psychiatrist Have some smelly snatch rubbed in your face. You gotta get out there, man.
Ankleson
Yeah, I've gotta do it.
Psychiatrist Tackle a **** whore, get your dick wet. Dip your wick into life a little bit. Have some fun.
Ankleson
Yeah. I'm gonna go out there and floss my teeth with some pubes.
Psychiatrist Oh, now you're on it.
Ankleson
I'm done with fear. My life begins today. [A stray bullet finds the doctor's head and kills him instantly while the psychiatrist vomits into the camera]
...
Municipal hydro employee
[Chev catches Johnny and they're fighting]
Maybe we better call nine-one-one.
Chev Chelios Where's my box?!
Johnny No! No!
Chev Chelios [After pounding Johnny's face]
Five more like that... and your brains will be strawberry jelly.
Johnny You can't look in that box!
Chev Chelios The key and the ****in' combo.
Johnny No!
Chev Chelios Do it. [Johnny enters combination] That's better. [Chev looks in] This isn't my ****in' pumper! What the... What is that? What kind of sick freak carries something like this around in a box? I am shocked to my **** core. You've got some deep problems, mother****er. What the **** is that? That one I sort of know and it's ****in' got to come back and ****in' r-run it... What the **** is this?! What the **** is tha... [Drops cooler box on ground and calls Doc] Hello. Doc.
Chevy. When you hung up on me, I was trying to ****in' tell you something. Your heart was transplanted three weeks ago into that Shaolin mother****er.
Chev Chelios **** great. Now what?
I'm on it. Poon Dong is still in L.A. And if I'm right he's got what you need in pristine working condition beating inside his chest.
Chev Chelios Good. Where do I find him?
Don't worry about it. I got people on the street.
Chev Chelios Good luck with that, Doc. I'll try it my way. Come here, you. Up you get. Okay, darling. One last dance. [Points in Johnny's face] Where's the ****in' old man? [A bullet goes through Johnny's head and Chev looks at finger with amazement and turns around to see Chico and his cohorts and a thug clubs Chev's head]
Luke Cunard
[The Luke Cunard talk show begins] [Referring to Chev, to Karen]
Tell me what he's like when he's at home.
Karen Chelios When he's home, he's like a ghost. He plays those video games; all day, all night.
Luke Cunard
Video games.
Karen Chelios All day.
Luke Cunard
And you let him do that? Well, you did buy the games for him, yeah?
Karen Chelios Of course. Why should I deny my son?
Luke Cunard
How are you today, Chev?
Young Chev
I'm golden, sir.
Luke Cunard
Your mom tells me that you've been getting into quite a bit of trouble. Is that true?
Young Chev
Yes, sir. Regretfully, that's true.
Luke Cunard
What kind of trouble?
Young Chev
Fighting, talking back, pinching.
Luke Cunard
Pinching what?
Young Chev
Televisions, stereo components, books from the library. That's not all. No, sir. Also a till from a restaurant and one car.
Luke Cunard
A toy car?
Young Chev
No, sir. A BMW Z1. [Studio audience goes into uproar and Chev displays the the finger']
Luke Cunard
Hey, sit. People, people, all right. I hear you've been having quite a bit of trouble at school too.
Teacher
[Scene of Chev smashing a trashcan into a boy's face in the schoolyard and a teacher rushes forward to thwart him]
Chelios! [The teacher is elbowed in the face and he resumes the face smashing and then screams in primal rage]
...
Young Chev
Nothing I can't handle, sir. I have a lot of piss and vinegar!
Karen He's hyperactive.
Young Chev
Oh, shit, Mom!
Luke Cunard
You want to watch your dirty little mouth, son.
Karen We tried giving him Ritalin, but Chev?
Young Chev
I sold it.
Luke Cunard
With all this energy, you've never thought about... I don't know, trying out for sports?
Young Chev
[Scene of Chelios running down street with cash till in hand with shop owner and punks in pursuit]
I like to run.
Luke Cunard
Chev, where's dad?
Young Chev
I never met the wanker. [Mother hits him lightly in the chest] He died before I was born.
Luke Cunard
What do you think he'd say, if he saw you acting out like this?
Young Chev
Dunno, sir.
Luke Cunard
If he were here now, and he asked you [Pounds a table] "WHY THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO SON?!", what would you tell him?!
Young Chev
Dunno, sir! Bored, I guess.
Luke Cunard
"Bored", he guesses!
Karen Bored?! Bored?!
Young Chev
Shut up!
Luke Cunard
We're gonna take a short break now. And when we return, we are gonna find out... [Gets up and starts wagging index finger in Chelios face] what makes you tick, little man.
El Huron Hola, Chev.
Chev Chelios I take it you're the greasy ****er that's been huntin' me all day.
El Huron The Ferret. Some people know me by this **** name. And many men have died cursing the name of El Huron... as they choked on their own blood and the blood of their families.
Chev Chelios Colorful geezer.
El Huron I was born with another name... the name of my father.
Chev Chelios Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah, ****in' hell.
El Huron And my father's father's.
Chev Chelios We're all very sad.
El Huron And the name... that I share... with my two brothers... Alejandro... and Ricardo.
Chev Chelios Verona.
El Huron Well, l-I can tell... by the tick-tick-tick... that you had no idea... that there was a third brother.
Chev Chelios Nope. That fact escaped me... or I assure you, Elvis, I would have made it a **** hat trick.
El Huron I got a trick-or-treat for you cabrőn. I'm gonna make you wish... that you was never a man.
Chev Chelios If you want to kill what's left of me, you get on with it.
El Huron What's the rush, Chelios? I know someone who's going to love to watch this. [Unveils an incubation tank that is the life support of Ricky's head]
...
You. You got the donor?
Chocolate Like you got a boner.
Hey, baby. You always say y-you want to be more spontaneous.
Chocolate Uh-uh, cowboy.
Huh?
Chocolate We gonna go back to my place.
Ooh. Yeah. That sounds good.
...
El Huron Ricardo never wanted my money Chelios. He was, uh, too stubborn. He wanted to make his own way. But now I think he likes what my money can buy. The technology to keep his brain alive. Not forever but long enough to watch you die.
Yo, Ferret, this ain't Roots, man. [Orlando's posse has arrived and are all pointing their guns]
El Huron Que?
Hey, cabrõn. [Venus's posse has arrived along with Ria's posse and are all pointing their guns]
El Huron You got to be **** kidding me.
You killed my brother, mother****er. Prepare to die.
El Huron No! **** you, Chelios! Ronnie James Dio! Chucha madre!
...
Chocolate This way, sugar.
Uh-oh.
...
Chev Chelios Hello, Ricky. Why do we go on like this, Ricky? Hurting each other? Water? Did you say, "Water"? H-two-O coming right up. [Kicks Ricky's head into the pool] Mother****er!
Ricky
[Drowning in pool]
Chev Cherios! Che... Chev Cherios. Chev. Chev. Che... Che... Che...
...
[Doc Miles is operating on Chev Chelios]
I'm cuttin' the battery. The battery's out. Paddles. Give me the paddles.
What's going on?!
Chevy. Clear! ****! Shit! [Chev's electrocardiogram flatlines]
No! God! [Eve is lead away by Doc Miles and after a moment, Chev's eyes burst open]
...
[Ending credits bloopers]
Droppin' loads all over your silly wages! You think these muscles are free? You think this ****'s for free? No way! No scabs, no crabs! No scabs, no crabs! I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back! I'm gonna bang your prisoner! Droppin' loads all over your prisoner!
...
Jason Statham
I take it you're the **** that's been hunting me all day.
Production staff
No- No- No- No. No.
Jason Statham
I take it day. The ****. The ****. Oh, sorry, the Ferret.
...
No dough, no blow! No dough, no blow! Dicks like this don't come for free! Huh. Lips like this don't come for free. That's what I meant to say. I got lost. I meant, "Lips like this don't come for free."
