Jason Statham movie quotes

View Quote That's Doug The Head. Everybody knows Doug The Head. If it's stones and it's stolen, he's the man to speak to. Pretends he's Jewish. Wishes he was Jewish. Even tells his family they're Jewish, but he's about as Jewish as he is a **** monkey. He thinks it's good for business. And in a diamond business, it is good for business.

View Quote Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? and hey presto a car's nearly on ya, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, 'cause you're too ****in' scared to think - you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't - why? Because he had plans on running the car over.

View Quote It had previously occurred to me that the pikey had taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a Pikey reaction... is quite a **** thing.

View Quote Well, do I look like a begonia?

View Quote We're looking for a blue gnome. Yeah, he's an ugly little fella. Got a scratch right here.

View Quote Juliet, you're not allowed off your pedestal. What are you doing out in the alley?

View Quote [Chico pisses in the wake of a motorboat] Massive homo ****!

View Quote [Upon seeing guys using a shock collar on their dog] You pair of sausage nigels! How do you sleep at night?

View Quote [Catches up with Johnny Vang after chase] Did I just drop some change... [grabs Johnny Vang by neck] ...or did I hear a chink?

View Quote [Dressed as a priest] By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife.

View Quote Hey, I'd hate to break up the bromance. We're twenty seconds late!

View Quote Gunner Jensen: [A bomb's fuse goes out] Well, the phosphorus must have been damp.
Lee Christmas: Yeah, right.
Toll Road: Or you suck.
Hale Caesar: There's that.
Maggie: Don't cry, Gunner.
Barney Ross: You almost had an idea.

View Quote Don't pop a blood vessel you little penis.

View Quote [After chopping Ricky Verona's brother's hand off ] You like that tough guy? How frickin awesome was that, huh?

View Quote Yeah, blah, blah, ****in´ blah you little mug!

View Quote Someone once asked me if I was the best future for my little girl. I've thought about this for long time, and here's what I've decided: No one in this world is perfect. Heaven knows I'm not. But I love her more than anyone else possibly could. In the end, that's all that matters.

View Quote (to his daughter) What does little Piper want? Do you want a story? You know you won't understand it, but it'll be good practice for me.

View Quote (to Hennessey) You wanted a monster? Well, you've got one.

View Quote (to Dog holding up a gun)Bend over the **** desk!

View Quote I'm not sure what's more worrying. The job or your past!

View Quote Bacon: The odds are a hundred to one. All we need is five grand.
Soap: I'd rather put my money on a three-legged rocking horse. The odds are a hundred to one for a good reason, Bacon. It won't win!

View Quote You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess! And we're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it!

View Quote Lee Christmas: [Christmas and Doc throw knives at a dartboard, both hitting the bullseye] Not bad...
Doc: [Doc's knife falls off] Oooooh... Best two out of three?

View Quote Lee Christmas: So you like knives, huh?
Doc: I'm the knife before Christmas.

View Quote And I know there's a **** Face/Off machine! You're jus' keeping it secret from me.

View Quote I'm pretty sure we all took a **** vow. I remember it. I remember raising my ****ing hand and saying some shit.

View Quote Well, I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do: walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.

View Quote "Conversation? Sounds more like angry chatter."

View Quote You are a loser. But I like you.

View Quote Christmas: [After Marsh, revealed to be Ocelot, is gunned down by a helicopter, and Barney is revealed to be its pilot] The ****? Barney? Hey, I had him with the classics! You almost **** killed me!
Barney: You're welcome!

View Quote Biggest meg anyone's ever seen.

View Quote We've never seen this before. They're hunting in packs.

View Quote See you later, chum.

View Quote One thing I've learned in the last seven years: in every game and con there's always an opponent, and there's always a victim. The trick is to know when you're the latter, so you can become the former.

View Quote [In an elevator] Now I've got to spend the next two minutes, shaking... and sweating... like a crack whore clucking for a fix... Should have taken the stairs... cause it's getting very... very tight in here.

View Quote There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty boss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-****in' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.

View Quote Chew on this, you ugly bastard!

View Quote Just keep swimming.. Just keep swimming..

View Quote My God, it's a megalodon.

View Quote Sandra Garza: [meeting Lee Christmas and Barney Ross for the first time] What are your names?
Lee Christmas: [pointing to himself] Buda. [pointing to Barney] Pest.
Sandra: Follow me, please. [walks away]
Barney Ross: [slowly turns to Lee] Buda and Pest. Nice.

View Quote Barney Ross: [after seeing Dan Paine and his men terrorize a local market] What's wrong with this picture?
Lee Christmas: Everything.

View Quote Lee Christmas: [tapping his head after Barney barely misses it while shooting a soldier behind him] Are you crazy? You could've killed me!
Barney Ross: You're welcome.
[Lee angrily shrugs his shoulders and is mimicked by Barney]

View Quote Ethan: [learning that Jessica had escaped after she killed Mad Dog] Get outside now!

View Quote Ryan: [Ryan and Ethan are discussing a place to meet] Santa Monica Pier.
Ethan: No, too busy.
Ryan: Yeah, that's kind of the idea, dickhead.

View Quote Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?
Dmitri: No, I don't see him.
Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.
[looks through his binoculars and sees various people on cell phones]
Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.

View Quote [to Dom] You ever heard the saying "The enemy of my enemy is my friend"?

View Quote [Hobbs is in the process of locking Deckard up]
Deckard: You do know none of this will keep me, right?
Hobbs: Well, once you dig through 30 feet of concrete and steel, my fist and a body bag will be waiting for you on the other side. So I suggest you get to digging, boy.

View Quote Dom: Yeah?
Deckard: Dominic Toretto. You don't know me. You're about to.
Dom: [Realizing that the package from Tokyo on the front porch of the house is actually a bomb about to go off] GET DOWN!
Mia: JACK! JACK!

View Quote Jericho: Eutopia, the ass end of the universe. A penal camp for thieving cutthroats.
Melanie: Sounds nasty. But you seem to be holding up pretty well.
Jericho: Yeah, well, I have many hidden talents.

View Quote Jericho: It's pretty solid. One way in, back door out, leading to rear entrance. [Shuts door] A good, sturdy door.
Melanie: So, what's your point?
Jericho: It's rather cozy. Don't you think?
Melanie: I don't believe this. You lured me back here to seduce me?
Jericho: Yeah, well, the way things are going, I thought this might be our last chance to, uh, to dance.
Melanie: Yeah.

View Quote Melanie: Look, if we even get back to Chryse, those things will just keep coming. We've got a chance here. We got a chance to stop this thing before it goes any further. This is about one thing: dominion. It's not their planet anymore.
Bashira: What about him? Isn't it our job to take him back?
Jericho: Is he still a prisoner, or is he one of us?
Desolation: I can give a damn about saving this planet. Seems like it was after me since the day I was born. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die fighting, not running.

View Quote The only reason a dead guy shows up at my door... revenge.

View Quote [after hitting Han's car in Tokyo]
[calls Dom] Dominic Toretto, you don't know me, but you're about to.