Barney Ross quotes from The Expendables 3 (2014)
Played by Sylvester Stallone
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[After Smilee performs an outrageous stunt] Couldn't take the stairs?
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Barney Ross: [Sees Stonebanks] It can't be...
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[After Barney shoots Conrad] I am The Hague.
Scenes with Barney Ross
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Barney Ross: Better get out of that seat and move to the back, Christmas is coming.
Galgo: But it's only June...
Barney Ross: Galgo, get out of the seat!
Galgo: But it's only June...
Barney Ross: Galgo, get out of the seat!
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Barney Ross: [Watching Luna fight] I could do that.
Bonaparte: You wanna slip on a dress and give it a shot?
Bonaparte: You wanna slip on a dress and give it a shot?
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Lee Christmas: You look like a proud, demented father.
Barney Ross: You could've skipped the demented part.
Lee Christmas: That was a compliment. [They laugh and fist-bump]
Barney Ross: You could've skipped the demented part.
Lee Christmas: That was a compliment. [They laugh and fist-bump]
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Barney Ross: [Barney prepares to rescue the young team when Galgo suddenly appears] How in the hell did you find me?
Galgo: I... peop... people talk, I hear things. You got a mission, I can help. My name is Galgo. Let me fill you in. I am good - very good. At warfare, you know, with memory. Afraid of nothing. I want to be your friend.
Barney Ross: I don't need a friend.
Galgo: Yes, you do. Everybody does. You know, I don't have any friends. That is why I know. But besides by friendship issues, what I really need now is something to do. Well... not just anything, but... what I was BORN to do.
Barney Ross: Best bet, this is a one-way trip.
Galgo: Excuse me, sir, but one-way trip is better than no-way. Which is the way I live now.
Barney Ross: [Pauses briefly] Help me with the crate.
Galgo: [Barney turns away; Galgo does excited happy dance. Barney turns back; Galgo calms down quick] Sir.
Galgo: I... peop... people talk, I hear things. You got a mission, I can help. My name is Galgo. Let me fill you in. I am good - very good. At warfare, you know, with memory. Afraid of nothing. I want to be your friend.
Barney Ross: I don't need a friend.
Galgo: Yes, you do. Everybody does. You know, I don't have any friends. That is why I know. But besides by friendship issues, what I really need now is something to do. Well... not just anything, but... what I was BORN to do.
Barney Ross: Best bet, this is a one-way trip.
Galgo: Excuse me, sir, but one-way trip is better than no-way. Which is the way I live now.
Barney Ross: [Pauses briefly] Help me with the crate.
Galgo: [Barney turns away; Galgo does excited happy dance. Barney turns back; Galgo calms down quick] Sir.
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Barney Ross: What happened to Church?
Drummer: You don't have to worry about Church any more. He's out of the picture.
Drummer: You don't have to worry about Church any more. He's out of the picture.
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Barney Ross: [Bonaparte is flying a plane to the next recruit] Hey, did you turn off the auto-pilot?
Bonaparte: I didn't touch the auto-pilot.
Barney Ross: [Sees Bonaparte drinking] Give me the booze. Are we off course?
Bonaparte: Where in the hell are we? Here, hang on a second. [Looks outside] Is that... is that the big dipper? Yeah, we gotta turn around.
Barney Ross: [Deadpan] Wow...
Bonaparte: I didn't touch the auto-pilot.
Barney Ross: [Sees Bonaparte drinking] Give me the booze. Are we off course?
Bonaparte: Where in the hell are we? Here, hang on a second. [Looks outside] Is that... is that the big dipper? Yeah, we gotta turn around.
Barney Ross: [Deadpan] Wow...
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Stonebanks: [After being shot by Barney] You mother****er... What about the Hague?
Barney Ross: [Shoots and kills Stonebanks] I am the Hague.
Barney Ross: [Shoots and kills Stonebanks] I am the Hague.
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Barney Ross: I missed you, Christmas.
Lee Christmas: I missed you too, you demented bastard.
Barney Ross: You could've left out the demented part.
Lee Christmas: I missed you too, you demented bastard.
Barney Ross: You could've left out the demented part.
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[Barney, Smilee and Thorn are in a van with Stonebanks unconcious and his mouth ducktaped]
Smilee: Why don't you just put a bullet in his head and be done with it. [Reaches over and takes off Stonebank's mouth tape then Barney punches him awake]
Thorn: Hey, you said you were taking him in!
Stonebanks: [After Barney punches him] Woah, ha ha! Good morning! Are these your students? Hey, what happened to the old crew? Oh, that's right. They stuck their noses into other people's worlds and got fatally injured. Now they're The Deleteables. Hey, you hear that kids? Take note - that's what you are right now.
Smilee: [To Barney] You want me to shut his mouth?
Stonebanks: You're talking pretty tough for a guy that incapacitated, which is good for you.
Smilee: Is it?
Stonebanks: Why don't you cut me loose, I'll open your meat shirt and show you your own heart. Hey Barn, why don't the two of us just end this. What do you say? Mix it up, you snapping my spine or me snapping yours. You know, make it snappy. [Barney keeps staring] He thinks I'm joking. I'm not joking. You should see me when I'm angry. You'd be very impressed. And very dead. So come on pal. Anything you want to get off your chest? Come on, lay it out. I'm a good listener. You're going to take me back to the Has-been-crew, carve me up around a fire. Very tribal.
Barney Ross: [Snarls] When we stop, I'm gonna break every bone in your body and drop what's left at The Hague.
Stonebanks: [Laughing] The Hague! Well, I **** made the big time! I'm a war criminal!
Barney Ross: Keep laughing.
Stonebanks: [Stops laughing] Do you think that you can just deliver me, like a package? We were close once. See, we started this whole Expendables thing together. See, I got the markers. [Shows his 'Expendable' tattoos] A bit faded but, we had a falling out.
Barney Ross: You went dark.
Stonebanks: It's a dark business, Barney, don't pretend you're not in it! The baddest survive, those are the rules. I didn't make them up! You see, Barney here was content to work for the small-end money, as an employee. But being a boss is more lucrative, but that is a concept that somehow eluded you. Plus, you had that pesky moral conscience. God, that stuff gets in the way! He thinks he's the good guy!
Barney Ross: Keep talking while you can.
Stonebanks: Sure, you got a conscience that makes you weak. Success, real success, is being willing to do the things that other people are not.
Barney Ross: Not everyone is as sick as you.
Stonebanks: Oh, but you are! You kill anyone today, Barn? Blow any shit up? How about you kids, kill anyone? Before you all start grabbing bricks and stoning me at The Hague. You might want to check your own hands for blood. Ah, but I digress, where was I? Yes, business is booming right? A chopper here, a missile there, guns, whatever. When suddenly a competitor - if you can call Uncle Sam a competitor - hires my own team, Barney and the whole gang to whack me. Things got ugly real fast, and a lot of people got real dead. Three former brothers in arms.
Barney Ross: [Barks] You shut your mouth!
Stonebanks: [Furiously rants Three expendables, our brothers, men we ate with, fought with, bled with, DEAD! He puts three slugs into my chest. Thank God for body armor, even I thought I was dead. Then he boogies out with the casualties, all dead because you couldn't stay out of my business!
Barney Ross: [Attacks Stonebanks and aims a gun at his head while Smilee and Thorn restrain him] Shut your mouth!
Stonebanks: Go on, do it! Go on!
Smilee: That's what he wants.
Stonebanks: [Barney begrudgingly released him] It's hard to fathom, I can't believe you forgot.
Barney Ross: What?
Stonebanks: That it's hard to be an enemy when you're living inside your own head. So you tie me up like an animal, leave me to the slaughter, you humiliate me, disgrace me. Now, when the time comes to kill you - and it will - I will not use a weapon, I will use my hands, because I want you to feel the way I feel right now. Since we were brothers.
Smilee: Why don't you just put a bullet in his head and be done with it. [Reaches over and takes off Stonebank's mouth tape then Barney punches him awake]
Thorn: Hey, you said you were taking him in!
Stonebanks: [After Barney punches him] Woah, ha ha! Good morning! Are these your students? Hey, what happened to the old crew? Oh, that's right. They stuck their noses into other people's worlds and got fatally injured. Now they're The Deleteables. Hey, you hear that kids? Take note - that's what you are right now.
Smilee: [To Barney] You want me to shut his mouth?
Stonebanks: You're talking pretty tough for a guy that incapacitated, which is good for you.
Smilee: Is it?
Stonebanks: Why don't you cut me loose, I'll open your meat shirt and show you your own heart. Hey Barn, why don't the two of us just end this. What do you say? Mix it up, you snapping my spine or me snapping yours. You know, make it snappy. [Barney keeps staring] He thinks I'm joking. I'm not joking. You should see me when I'm angry. You'd be very impressed. And very dead. So come on pal. Anything you want to get off your chest? Come on, lay it out. I'm a good listener. You're going to take me back to the Has-been-crew, carve me up around a fire. Very tribal.
Barney Ross: [Snarls] When we stop, I'm gonna break every bone in your body and drop what's left at The Hague.
Stonebanks: [Laughing] The Hague! Well, I **** made the big time! I'm a war criminal!
Barney Ross: Keep laughing.
Stonebanks: [Stops laughing] Do you think that you can just deliver me, like a package? We were close once. See, we started this whole Expendables thing together. See, I got the markers. [Shows his 'Expendable' tattoos] A bit faded but, we had a falling out.
Barney Ross: You went dark.
Stonebanks: It's a dark business, Barney, don't pretend you're not in it! The baddest survive, those are the rules. I didn't make them up! You see, Barney here was content to work for the small-end money, as an employee. But being a boss is more lucrative, but that is a concept that somehow eluded you. Plus, you had that pesky moral conscience. God, that stuff gets in the way! He thinks he's the good guy!
Barney Ross: Keep talking while you can.
Stonebanks: Sure, you got a conscience that makes you weak. Success, real success, is being willing to do the things that other people are not.
Barney Ross: Not everyone is as sick as you.
Stonebanks: Oh, but you are! You kill anyone today, Barn? Blow any shit up? How about you kids, kill anyone? Before you all start grabbing bricks and stoning me at The Hague. You might want to check your own hands for blood. Ah, but I digress, where was I? Yes, business is booming right? A chopper here, a missile there, guns, whatever. When suddenly a competitor - if you can call Uncle Sam a competitor - hires my own team, Barney and the whole gang to whack me. Things got ugly real fast, and a lot of people got real dead. Three former brothers in arms.
Barney Ross: [Barks] You shut your mouth!
Stonebanks: [Furiously rants Three expendables, our brothers, men we ate with, fought with, bled with, DEAD! He puts three slugs into my chest. Thank God for body armor, even I thought I was dead. Then he boogies out with the casualties, all dead because you couldn't stay out of my business!
Barney Ross: [Attacks Stonebanks and aims a gun at his head while Smilee and Thorn restrain him] Shut your mouth!
Stonebanks: Go on, do it! Go on!
Smilee: That's what he wants.
Stonebanks: [Barney begrudgingly released him] It's hard to fathom, I can't believe you forgot.
Barney Ross: What?
Stonebanks: That it's hard to be an enemy when you're living inside your own head. So you tie me up like an animal, leave me to the slaughter, you humiliate me, disgrace me. Now, when the time comes to kill you - and it will - I will not use a weapon, I will use my hands, because I want you to feel the way I feel right now. Since we were brothers.
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[Barney is doing maintenance work on a plane engine with Galgo is singing and marching in place]
Galgo: I am the bridgegroom of death. The lyrics of a Spanish Legion old songs. That we used to sing when we're on mission in Croatia. That's where I met Mingo. The best point man ever. Some kind of savant. You don't know. The best team member ever, was Torres. Holy shit! You wouldn't believe what this guy could to do. Un. Bel. Ievable. I'm telling you, man. Ambush this guy couldn't sniff. And under fire, the coolest cat ever. Just pure ice in his veins. We were pinned down once, like two bullets left. I looked over, not on bead of sweat. [Gestures totally mesmerized] Yeah. Can I help you up there?
Barney Ross: You're a mechanic now?
Galgo: Of course I am a mechanic. I am whatever you need me to be, sir.
Barney Ross: Okay then, just be quiet.
Galgo: Yes, sir.
...
Galgo: Tiger, this guy I knew, I mean, this guy had it all figured out. Wind speed, temperature, barometric pressure. But you know what he said was the most important?
Barney Ross: No.
Galgo: Patience.
Barney Ross: Really?
Galgo: Yeah. He said that. This thing smells good, what is that? Kerosene? Gasoline?
Barney Ross: Aviation fuel.
Galgo: [Impressed] Aviation fuel. It's good.
...
Barney Ross: Galgo?
Galgo: Yes, sir.
Barney Ross: I think I know why your team let you go.
Galgo: You do? Really? [Climb ladder and breaks the fourth wall looking into camera with a fist pump] Yes! [Goes in plane]
...
[Plane is taxiing to runway]
Barney Ross: Last chance. You sure you wanna do this?
Galgo: [Holds up gun and **** it] I like traveling.
Barney Ross: Good.
Galgo: [A row of men block the plane's path] Uh, who are those guys?
Barney Ross: My old team. [Sticks head out window] What the hell are you doing here?
Lee Christmas: You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess. We're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it.
Barney Ross: Come on. We're late for a war. [The crew walks to plane] Galgo, you might want to get out of that seat, Christmas is coming.
Galgo: But it's June.
Barney Ross: Galgo, get out the hell out.
Galgo: Yes sir. [Hesitates] My hat. [Leaves]
Galgo: I am the bridgegroom of death. The lyrics of a Spanish Legion old songs. That we used to sing when we're on mission in Croatia. That's where I met Mingo. The best point man ever. Some kind of savant. You don't know. The best team member ever, was Torres. Holy shit! You wouldn't believe what this guy could to do. Un. Bel. Ievable. I'm telling you, man. Ambush this guy couldn't sniff. And under fire, the coolest cat ever. Just pure ice in his veins. We were pinned down once, like two bullets left. I looked over, not on bead of sweat. [Gestures totally mesmerized] Yeah. Can I help you up there?
Barney Ross: You're a mechanic now?
Galgo: Of course I am a mechanic. I am whatever you need me to be, sir.
Barney Ross: Okay then, just be quiet.
Galgo: Yes, sir.
...
Galgo: Tiger, this guy I knew, I mean, this guy had it all figured out. Wind speed, temperature, barometric pressure. But you know what he said was the most important?
Barney Ross: No.
Galgo: Patience.
Barney Ross: Really?
Galgo: Yeah. He said that. This thing smells good, what is that? Kerosene? Gasoline?
Barney Ross: Aviation fuel.
Galgo: [Impressed] Aviation fuel. It's good.
...
Barney Ross: Galgo?
Galgo: Yes, sir.
Barney Ross: I think I know why your team let you go.
Galgo: You do? Really? [Climb ladder and breaks the fourth wall looking into camera with a fist pump] Yes! [Goes in plane]
...
[Plane is taxiing to runway]
Barney Ross: Last chance. You sure you wanna do this?
Galgo: [Holds up gun and **** it] I like traveling.
Barney Ross: Good.
Galgo: [A row of men block the plane's path] Uh, who are those guys?
Barney Ross: My old team. [Sticks head out window] What the hell are you doing here?
Lee Christmas: You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess. We're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it.
Barney Ross: Come on. We're late for a war. [The crew walks to plane] Galgo, you might want to get out of that seat, Christmas is coming.
Galgo: But it's June.
Barney Ross: Galgo, get out the hell out.
Galgo: Yes sir. [Hesitates] My hat. [Leaves]
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Lee Christmas: Since, when did suicide become your hobby?
Barney Ross: I got a will.
Lee Christmas: You know, I'm probably the only friend you got.
Barney Ross: I got lots of friends.
Lee Christmas: You walk into a room, people jump on the tables.
Barney Ross: I missed you, Christmas.
Lee Christmas: I miss you too, you demented bastard.
Barney Ross: You could've left it demented.
Barney Ross: I got a will.
Lee Christmas: You know, I'm probably the only friend you got.
Barney Ross: I got lots of friends.
Lee Christmas: You walk into a room, people jump on the tables.
Barney Ross: I missed you, Christmas.
Lee Christmas: I miss you too, you demented bastard.
Barney Ross: You could've left it demented.
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Galgo: It's a kind of solid structure that is taking us from one place to another through unbelievable speeds. Think about it. If God- if God -if he knew he would've liked, you know, flying. Then he would've given us feathers. Do you have feathers. I don't have feathers.
Toll Road: It's gonna be a long ass flight fellas.
Galgo: It's going to be. It's going to be a very long flight, but don't worry, I'm here because I can't sleep on planes.
Drummer: Thought you should know Barney, you're walking into a shitstorm. NSA ran signals and frequencies check on your team's phones. This bastard's not even trying to hide them.
Barney Ross: Where has he taken them?
Drummer: They're in Azmanastan.
Lee Christmas: Another honey hotspot.
Drummer: Who is that?!
Lee Christmas: Lee Christmas.
Drummer: Not far off Christmas. Stonebank's compound is where he trains his goons. It's very heavily fortified.
Lee Christmas: What's up with the local army?
Drummer: I don't understand a word this guy is saying.
Lee Christmas: Local army status.
Drummer: Small, corrupt. Stonebank's got all the brass in his pocket. Been running his operations through this shithole of a country for years. Want some advice?
Lee Christmas: What's the advice?
Drummer: What goddamn language is that?
Barney Ross: They don't teach you that on the language stage either.
Lee Christmas: Look who's talking?
Barney Ross: What's the advice Drummer?
Drummer: Forget about what you're thinking. Remember our deal. We need him alive.
Barney Ross: So he can sit in a courtroom and beat this on a technicality?
Drummer: Those are orders Barney. [Barney throws phone over shoulder in frustation]
Lee Christmas: You broke the phone.
Barney Ross: I got another one.
Lee Christmas: Think we'll make it back from this one?
Barney Ross: You didn't have to make it back from this one Christmas.
Lee Christmas: Sure I did. Morons need friends.
Toll Road: It's gonna be a long ass flight fellas.
Galgo: It's going to be. It's going to be a very long flight, but don't worry, I'm here because I can't sleep on planes.
Drummer: Thought you should know Barney, you're walking into a shitstorm. NSA ran signals and frequencies check on your team's phones. This bastard's not even trying to hide them.
Barney Ross: Where has he taken them?
Drummer: They're in Azmanastan.
Lee Christmas: Another honey hotspot.
Drummer: Who is that?!
Lee Christmas: Lee Christmas.
Drummer: Not far off Christmas. Stonebank's compound is where he trains his goons. It's very heavily fortified.
Lee Christmas: What's up with the local army?
Drummer: I don't understand a word this guy is saying.
Lee Christmas: Local army status.
Drummer: Small, corrupt. Stonebank's got all the brass in his pocket. Been running his operations through this shithole of a country for years. Want some advice?
Lee Christmas: What's the advice?
Drummer: What goddamn language is that?
Barney Ross: They don't teach you that on the language stage either.
Lee Christmas: Look who's talking?
Barney Ross: What's the advice Drummer?
Drummer: Forget about what you're thinking. Remember our deal. We need him alive.
Barney Ross: So he can sit in a courtroom and beat this on a technicality?
Drummer: Those are orders Barney. [Barney throws phone over shoulder in frustation]
Lee Christmas: You broke the phone.
Barney Ross: I got another one.
Lee Christmas: Think we'll make it back from this one?
Barney Ross: You didn't have to make it back from this one Christmas.
Lee Christmas: Sure I did. Morons need friends.
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Barney Ross: [At a nightclub] Where is the candidate?
Bonaparte: [Points at Luna] Right there in the red dress, about to chop those guys in half.
Barney Ross: [Luna approaches drunk patrons fighting] The hostess?
Bonaparte: Not the hostess, she's the bouncer.
Bonaparte: [Points at Luna] Right there in the red dress, about to chop those guys in half.
Barney Ross: [Luna approaches drunk patrons fighting] The hostess?
Bonaparte: Not the hostess, she's the bouncer.
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Barney Ross: You know, it's very hard for me to say this, but at one time, you guys were the best. Maybe still are. But nothing lasts forever. Hard as it is to hear, we aren't the future any more. Unfortunately for us, we're part of the past.
Lee Christmas: You, uh, you done swingin' with us?
Barney Ross: As I see it, if we keep this life up, the only way this thing ends, for all of us, is in a hole in the ground, and no one giving a shit. Now if that's the way I'm supposed to go out, I can live with that. For me. But what I can't live with - and won't live with - is taking you with me.
Lee Christmas: You, uh, you done swingin' with us?
Barney Ross: As I see it, if we keep this life up, the only way this thing ends, for all of us, is in a hole in the ground, and no one giving a shit. Now if that's the way I'm supposed to go out, I can live with that. For me. But what I can't live with - and won't live with - is taking you with me.
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Barney Ross: If you're looking to go the family route, this is the wrong job for you.
Luna: There are different kinds of family. When my life is on the line, that's my family fighting with me.
Luna: There are different kinds of family. When my life is on the line, that's my family fighting with me.
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Barney Ross: [Breaking up an argument between the older and younger Expendables] It's not an accident that we're trapped in here! This is exactly what he knew would happen, us tearing at each other! This stops now! We can do this, but only if we do this together. If we work as a team, we just may get out of this alive. Now, do you wanna make it work? That simple.
Smilee: You got any weapons?
Smilee: You got any weapons?
Other characters in The Expendables 3 (2014): Lee Christmas · Doc · Galgo · Trench · Stonebanks · Luna · Toll Road · Drummer · Bonaparte · Gunnar Jensen · Thorn · Hale Caesar · Yin Yang
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