“I got to get a hold... I've got to call Doc. I need a cell phone.” – Chev Chelios, Crank: High Voltage ... Movie Quotes Database

Chev Chelios: I got to get a hold... I've got to call Doc. I need a cell phone.
Pepper: Why didn't you just say it? I have a cell phone. Here.
Chev Chelios: You got a cell phone. I got you. Okay?
Doc Miles: You've got to work for the things that... Chevy?
Chev Chelios: I lost the belt battery, Doc.
Doc Miles: How long ago?
Chev Chelios: Over an hour
Doc Miles: Jesus Christ, that's not ****in' possible, Chevy. You should be dea... ****, never mind. Look... it's a wireless system, so any kind of low-level electrical shock to your skin should juice it. At least temporarily. Hey, Chev I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I... I was. I lost my license after I **** up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is if you can get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you.
Chev Chelios: Okay, Doc. I'll be in touch when I find that Chinese **** that's got me pump. That you even had to choose between Phyllis and me. Chinese?
Doc Miles: Sharon, I just shut down, okay? I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. Hey, Chocolate would you get off your fat ass and get dressed?
Chocolate: Why?
Doc Miles: Do you have any idea... how silly Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch? Do you know that I was waiting for those results, too? I needed to put things in perspective.
Chev Chelios: Oh, you needed? I see, you needed. I think I know who we're dealing with. That's how you do things now.
[Chev pulls up to a riot of pornstars picketing on strike]
Pornstar chant: "Hell, no, we won't blow!"
Chev Chelios: For ****'s sake move! Jesus. Shit! What the ****! Shit!
Pornstars: That's right! You're gonna pay me by the inch, bitch! You make a living! We want to make a living! You carry a weapon! We carry weapons... in our pants. Sick and tired of this! Pay me my ****in' wages, mother ****ers! Droppin' loads on all of your silly wages! They need their money. What, do you want me to **** this car? What, do you want me to **** this car? [Pornstar actress is on windshield] Suck my ****in' tits!
Chev Chelios: Get off the car!
Pornstar: I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back!
Eve: Hi.
Pornstars: We're just sick and tired of this! Just because it's porn doesn't mean we all want to do it! We like to get paid for it!
[Police cruisers pull up]
Police officer: This is a weird scene. We've got pissed-off beaver everywhere. [Chev takes off] We're on pursuit.
[Chev jumps on a staircase railing to slide down in spirit of local skateboarders but slips, falling on crotch]
Camcorder guy: Whoa! "Oh!"
Chev Chelios: ****!
...
[Two men are using a shock collar to train a dog in the park]
Dog guy 1: Sit! Good... I'm just makin' sure. Whatever. Dude, he's totally doing what he's supposed to.
Dog guy 2: Well, he's got to know who's in charge.
Dog guy 1: Dude! Come on!
Dog guy 2: He's gonna eat somebody's baby and you're gonna be in... No, dude, chill. Uh, you're gonna get sued.
Dog guy 1: He's totally doing what he's supposed. to be doing. Come on.
Dog guy 2: Whatever. I wanted a cat.
Dog guy 1: ****!
Dog guy 2: See? Way better than a cat, man.
Dog guy 1: Whatever.
Chev Chelios: [Walks up to the them] Who's this ****in' asshole? You pair of sausage-Nigels. How do you sleep at night?
Dog guy 1: Who is this guy?
Chev Chelios: I'm from PETA. This is animal cruelty, you ****ers. Hello, there.
Dog guy 1: Hey, give that back, you liberal freak.
Chev Chelios: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah.
Dog guy 1: Um... Dude.
Chev Chelios: ****in' shame on you two.
Dog guy 1: That's two hundred and fifty dollars. I tell you.
Chev Chelios: You pair of ****s. Press the **** button.
Dog guy 1: Well, take it back. Hit him.
Chev Chelios: [Dog guy 2 presses shock button] Not so bad.
Dog guy 1: Disgusting.
Chev Chelios: Morning. Mom would be so proud. Sorry about that. Give me that thing.
Dog guy 1: No.
Dog guy 1: Yeah, there you go. Go on.
Chev Chelios: Ruff, ruff, ruff ruff, ruff ruff! If you don't press that ****in' button, you're goin' in the pond.
Dog guy 2: I'm pressing it. Press it!
Chev Chelios: Come on, what's the matter? ****in' wake up! [Slaps Dog guy 1] Make him press the button you...
Dog guy 1: Give him the ****in'...
Chev Chelios: What are you, ****in' useless?!
Dog guy 2: Hey! No problem.
Police officer: Stop right there! Stop!
Chev Chelios: Oh, shit. [Gives chases]
Dog guy 2: Oh. See, that's what I told you.
Police officer: [Dog attacks officer biting at crotch] My ****in' nuts! Get him off!
Dog guy 2: It's all right! Will our insurance cover that?!
Police officer: Stop it! Freeze! Get down! Get down! Turn around! Get down! What the **** is that around your neck?! Get down on the ground! Show me your...
[Venus pulls up on a moped]
Chev Chelios: Are you ****in' kidding me?! Kaylo?!
Venus: Get on!
Police officer: Both of you down on the ground now!
Venus: Get down! Get down!
Police officer: Get off that ****in' moped!
Chev Chelios: Kaylo, I thought you were dead.
Venus: My name's Venus. I'm from Hollywood. Kaylo was my brother.
Chev Chelios: Brother? No shit. Hey, what the **** did you hit me for, anyway?
Venus: I have a condition. FBT, Full Body Tourette's. I can't control myself.
Chev Chelios: Jesus! ****! What the ****? Hey, listen, I'm sorry about your brother, but I need to get to the Hollywood Park racetrack. And I mean right the **** now. What's the matter, are you hurlin' or something?
Venus: Is that where they're at?
Chev Chelios: Who?
Venus: The ill suckers that killed my brother. You're Chev "The Cheese" Chelios, right? The sickest, most wickedest mother****er that ever vaporized a mother****er in cold blood, right?
Chev Chelios: Yeah. That's me.
Venus: Yeah. So we're gonna get those suckers...
Chev Chelios: Get a grip on yourself. It's already done.
Venus: Huh?
Chev Chelios: It's done. I already took care of the ones that did Kaylo.
Venus: But... All of them?
Chev Chelios: All of them. D-E-A-D. Brown bread.
Venus: Right Said Fred?
Chev Chelios: Simply Red.
Venus: I see.
Chev Chelios: Well, don't look so gloomy, Elvis. I can assure you they did not die pleasantly.
Venus: No... you don't understand. It's a matter of honor. It should have been me to avenge my brother's death. Well... so long, Chelios.
Chev Chelios: My brain hurts. There is one I never got to on account of I could never find him. The one that calls himself "The Ferret."
Venus: El Huron?
Chev Chelios: You know him?
Venus: No. It means "The Ferret" in Spanish.
Chev Chelios: Right. Yeah, I knew that. Listen, you want to find the dude that made your brother dead, you find him.

Chev Chelios : I got to get a hold... I've got to call Doc. I need a cell phone. Pepper : Why didn't you just say it? I have a cell phone. Here. Chev Chelios : You got a cell phone. I got you. Okay? Doc Miles : You've got to work for the things that... Chevy? Chev Chelios : I lost the belt battery, Doc. Doc Miles : How long ago? Chev Chelios : Over an hour Doc Miles : Jesus Christ, that's not ****in' possible, Chevy. You should be dea... ****, never mind. Look... it's a wireless system, so any kind of low-level electrical shock to your skin should juice it. At least temporarily. Hey, Chev I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I... I was. I lost my license after I **** up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is if you can get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you. Chev Chelios : Okay, Doc. I'll be in touch when I find that Chinese **** that's got me pump. That you even had to choose between Phyllis and me. Chinese? Doc Miles : Sharon, I just shut down, okay? I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. Hey, Chocolate would you get off your fat ass and get dressed? Chocolate : Why? Doc Miles : Do you have any idea... how silly Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch? Do you know that I was waiting for those results, too? I needed to put things in perspective. Chev Chelios : Oh, you needed? I see, you needed. I think I know who we're dealing with. That's how you do things now. [ Chev pulls up to a riot of pornstars picketing on strike ] Pornstar chant : "Hell, no, we won't blow!" Chev Chelios : For ****'s sake move! Jesus. Shit! What the ****! Shit! Pornstars : That's right! You're gonna pay me by the inch, bitch! You make a living! We want to make a living! You carry a weapon! We carry weapons... in our pants. Sick and tired of this! Pay me my ****in' wages, mother ****ers! Droppin' loads on all of your silly wages! They need their money. What, do you want me to **** this car? What, do you want me to **** this car? [ Pornstar actress is on windshield ] Suck my ****in' tits! Chev Chelios : Get off the car! Pornstar : I'm gonna bang that bitch in the back! Eve : Hi. Pornstars : We're just sick and tired of this! Just because it's porn doesn't mean we all want to do it! We like to get paid for it! [ Police cruisers pull up ] Police officer : This is a weird scene. We've got pissed-off beaver everywhere. [ Chev takes off ] We're on pursuit. [ Chev jumps on a staircase railing to slide down in spirit of local skateboarders but slips, falling on crotch ] Camcorder guy : Whoa! "Oh!" Chev Chelios : ****! ... [ Two men are using a shock collar to train a dog in the park ] Dog guy 1 : Sit! Good... I'm just makin' sure. Whatever. Dude, he's totally doing what he's supposed to. Dog guy 2 : Well, he's got to know who's in charge. Dog guy 1 : Dude! Come on! Dog guy 2 : He's gonna eat somebody's baby and you're gonna be in... No, dude, chill. Uh, you're gonna get sued. Dog guy 1 : He's totally doing what he's supposed. to be doing. Come on. Dog guy 2 : Whatever. I wanted a cat. Dog guy 1 : ****! Dog guy 2 : See? Way better than a cat, man. Dog guy 1 : Whatever. Chev Chelios : [ Walks up to the them ] Who's this ****in' asshole? You pair of sausage-Nigels. How do you sleep at night? Dog guy 1 : Who is this guy? Chev Chelios : I'm from PETA. This is animal cruelty, you ****ers. Hello, there. Dog guy 1 : Hey, give that back, you liberal freak. Chev Chelios : Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah. Dog guy 1 : Um... Dude. Chev Chelios : ****in' shame on you two. Dog guy 1 : That's two hundred and fifty dollars. I tell you. Chev Chelios : You pair of ****s. Press the **** button. Dog guy 1 : Well, take it back. Hit him. Chev Chelios : [ Dog guy 2 presses shock button ] Not so bad. Dog guy 1 : Disgusting. Chev Chelios : Morning. Mom would be so proud. Sorry about that. Give me that thing. Dog guy 1 : No. Dog guy 1 : Yeah, there you go. Go on. Chev Chelios : Ruff, ruff, ruff ruff, ruff ruff! If you don't press that ****in' button, you're goin' in the pond. Dog guy 2 : I'm pressing it. Press it! Chev Chelios : Come on, what's the matter? ****in' wake up! [ Slaps Dog guy 1 ] Make him press the button you... Dog guy 1 : Give him the ****in'... Chev Chelios : What are you, ****in' useless?! Dog guy 2 : Hey! No problem. Police officer : Stop right there! Stop! Chev Chelios : Oh, shit. [ Gives chases ] Dog guy 2 : Oh. See, that's what I told you. Police officer : [ Dog attacks officer biting at crotch ] My ****in' nuts! Get him off! Dog guy 2 : It's all right! Will our insurance cover that?! Police officer : Stop it! Freeze! Get down! Get down! Turn around! Get down! What the **** is that around your neck?! Get down on the ground! Show me your... [ Venus pulls up on a moped ] Chev Chelios : Are you ****in' kidding me?! Kaylo?! Venus : Get on! Police officer : Both of you down on the ground now! Venus : Get down! Get down! Police officer : Get off that ****in' moped! Chev Chelios : Kaylo, I thought you were dead. Venus : My name's Venus. I'm from Hollywood. Kaylo was my brother. Chev Chelios : Brother? No shit. Hey, what the **** did you hit me for, anyway? Venus : I have a condition. FBT, Full Body Tourette's. I can't control myself. Chev Chelios : Jesus! ****! What the ****? Hey, listen, I'm sorry about your brother, but I need to get to the Hollywood Park racetrack. And I mean right the **** now. What's the matter, are you hurlin' or something? Venus : Is that where they're at? Chev Chelios : Who? Venus : The ill suckers that killed my brother. You're Chev "The Cheese" Chelios, right? The sickest, most wickedest mother****er that ever vaporized a mother****er in cold blood, right? Chev Chelios : Yeah. That's me. Venus : Yeah. So we're gonna get those suckers... Chev Chelios : Get a grip on yourself. It's already done. Venus : Huh? Chev Chelios : It's done. I already took care of the ones that did Kaylo. Venus : But... All of them? Chev Chelios : All of them. D-E-A-D. Brown bread. Venus : Right Said Fred? Chev Chelios : Simply Red. Venus : I see. Chev Chelios : Well, don't look so gloomy, Elvis. I can assure you they did not die pleasantly. Venus : No... you don't understand. It's a matter of honor. It should have been me to avenge my brother's death. Well... so long, Chelios. Chev Chelios : My brain hurts. There is one I never got to on account of I could never find him. The one that calls himself "The Ferret." Venus : El Huron? Chev Chelios : You know him? Venus : No. It means "The Ferret" in Spanish. Chev Chelios : Right. Yeah, I knew that. Listen, you want to find the dude that made your brother dead, you find him.