Dwight Yoakam movie quotes

View Quote Not that you two afflicted sumbitches know anything about this, but you're sitting in a crew cab dualie pickup. In some circles, this is considered a piece of automotive art.

View Quote If you all don't shut up I'm about to go out of my mind, ol' Karl over here is about to bust a spring, he's already off balance.

View Quote Well I can't understand none of it, this one begat this one, this one begat that one, begat, begat, lo and behold someone says some shit or another just how **** are you?

View Quote Chev, I'm a certified heart surgeon. Well, I was. Lost my license after I **** up my ex-wife's vaginal rejuvenation procedure in our basement. That's irrelevant right now. The point is, if you get hold of your heart, I'm reasonably sure I can put it back in for you.

View Quote [To mistress Chocolate backtalking over a favor request] Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch?

View Quote [To Poon Dong realizing his honey trapping folly, holds up surgical instruments in surgical gloves] Confucius say, "Karma's a bitch".

View Quote [to Meg over P.A. system after having hand caught in the panic room door] You **** bitch! You pull any shit like that again, I will **** kill her! Do you hear me? If you step outside, I'll kill her! If I see a uniform inside this house, I'll cut her **** throat! Do you understand?

View Quote [Meg smashes the video cameras with a sledgehammer] Why the hell didn't we do that?

View Quote Junior: How do we get in to that room?
Raoul: [Burnham laughs] Hey! What is funny about this?... Is this shit funny to you?
Burnham: Well, I spent the last 12 years of my life building these rooms specifically to keep out people like us.
Junior: It's all so ironic and amusing, okay? Now, how do we get in?

View Quote Eve: Jesus! ****! Are they really...
Chev Chelio: They're dead.
Eve: How do you... How can you do that?
Chev Chelio: I told you, baby. I quit.
Eve: [He parks the car] Where are you going?! [He gets out]
Chev Chelio: Stay there, honey. [He walks into a hardware store and Eve finds him hammering nails into his leg] Jesus! ****!
Eve: Chev!
Chev Chelio: Asshole! I can't feel my leg. Shit!
...
Chev Chelio: I've been trying to call you for a half hour. Where the **** have you been?
Doc Miles: In my office. Can you make it over here?
Chev Chelio: Sure' why not?
...
Doc Miles: Chocolate' what's this **** receipt from Gold Foods Market for $254?
Chocolate: Snacks.
...
Eve: I hate television.
...
Chev Chelio: I owe you again, Doc.
Doc Miles: Chevy' you're my best customer.
Chev Chelio: What is this stuff?
Doc Miles: Synthetic epinephrine... diluted with some saline.
Chev Chelio: Feels sort of good.
Doc Miles: Well, I got a little meth in there' too. You're feeling the endorphins.
Chev Chelio: Wait a minute. I'm not better?
Doc Miles: No' you're not better. You're in such shit shape' it's stunning. I can't believe your heart's beating. You should be in a **** medical journal.
Chev Chelio: So, what are you going to do?
Doc Miles: The solution acts as a competing inhibitor. It's pushing the poison out of your receptors' and replacing it with a chemical. It's just a temporary fix.
Chev Chelio: Then what?
Doc Miles: Then you're ****. I can put you on life support and string this out for a few days. But you're going to go into a comma at some point. Does she know?
Doc Miles: Why don't I load you up with something, and you can go out in a beautiful dream.
Chev Chelio: A dream.
Doc Miles: Can I do that for you?
Chev Chelio: No, no, no. That's not what I want.
Doc Miles: What do you want?
Chev Chelio: One hour. I want one hour.
Doc Miles: Give me a ****in' break.
...
News reporter: So, the wild rampage that began 9am in L.A. Continues. The suspect, still at large.
...
Associate: We didn't give him enough Chinese shit.
Ricky: You think?! [Answers phone] Dude, it's him! What's up, corpse?
Chev: Bonjour, douche bag, Thought you might be interested in a deal.
Ricky: Oh, you a dealer, now?
Chev: Don't you worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.
Ricky: Oh, the antidote?!
Chev: That's right, the antidote.
Ricky: What you prepared to give me?
Chev: How about that jewelry I got off that **** brother of yours, you ****? Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
Ricky: Okay.
Chev: You like the deal?
Ricky: Whatever!
Chev: Be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?
Ricky: Yeah.
Chev: Don't be late, or I'll trade the thing to a whore for a hand job. Look, I said I said I'd ****in' be...
Ricky: ****!
Chev: See you later, sunshine. Dammit! ****!
Ricky: Yo, it's Verona. You won't believe this call I just got.
...
Chev: It's gonna be all right, baby.
Eve: But you said...
Chev: No, no. Things have changed. There's an antidote. I can make a deal for it, but I got to go alone.
Eve: I'm scared.
Chev: Of course. You'll be safe, now. And I'll be back.
Eve: Promise?
Chev: I promise.
Ricky: What's happening, bro?!
...
[Chev steps into hotel elevator]
Asian man: [In woman's voice] Where did I go wrong?!
Chev: You ****in' just say something?
Asian man: It's like talking to the wall.
Chev: Mom?
Asian man: I'm amazed you remember you have a mother.
Chev: Please, I haven't got time for this.
Asian man: You're never around. I've never seen you in the house in sixteen years.
Chev: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right mom, with you popping valium like tic tacs. I really wouldn't wish at all someone would so this. Why would I stick around for entertainment like this?
Asian man: [In Ạsian language] That's hurtful.
Chev: Please, I've no time for this.
Asian man: [In Orlando's voice] You got no time, period. You're a persistent mother****er, Chelios. I give you that.
Chev: Orlando?
Chev: This is weird.
Asian man: Yeah, I know this is weird, but you know, this has gotta stop sometime. [In Ạsian language] Who do you think you are? Michael Myers [In Ricky's voice] They pop you and you keep getting up?
Chev: I'm the terminator.
Asian man: You was, but here's a new gun in town.
Chev: You know, I just don't get it. Why didn't you cut me up when you had the chance?
Asian man: Too easy, mother****er. Look at you. Bi-polar, sadomasochistic tendencies... Adrenaline junkie...
Alter Chev ego: ...addicted to violence... probably spends every day looking for the big thrill, the big rush, Carving up a guy while he screams in his own blood and excrement, would be like... like a gift. A warriors death.
Asian man: [Chev's voice] Hell, you'd probably get off on it.
Chev: Why do you ask this?
Alter Chev ego: Maybe it's best for a guy like you. Going downhill. Winding down. Inevitable. Under so many circumstances.
Chev: Who are you anyway?
Asian man: [In Asian language] Don't you know?
Chev: I think I'm starting to figure it out.
Asian man: [In Chev's voice] Better late than never. You know you're gonna die up there.
Chev: Yeah, maybe. But I'm taking you with me. [Alter ego Chev becomes radiant with UV light and then disappears with the Asian man becoming default] Some pills, Doc.
Asian man: [In Asian language] Did you **** say something?
Henchman: Chelios?
Chev: [Ċhev ạpproạçhes] Hello, girls.
Henchman: Hold up. Give me the piece. [Çoṇḟịsçạtes Ċhev's ḟịreạrm]
Chev: Now, isn't that a **** picture?
Carlito: Chelios. What a **** nightmare you are.
Chev: No shit.
Carlito: Sit down.
Ricky: Whoa! Wait a minute. You pat him down, again. I know he's carrying something. [Ḥeṇçhmạṇ pulls out ạ tube çoṇṇeçted boẋ]
Carlito: Let me see that.
Chev: Mother****er.
Carlito: Clever. What is this, an insulin pump?
Chev: Basically.
Ricky: What the **** is Insulin? [Carlito holds up finger for silence]
Carlito: Ephedrine, right?
Chev: Yeah.
Carlito: You're very resourceful.
Chev: Found a new master, little bitch?
Ricky: I'm nobody's bitch.
Chev: You'll be a bitch when Carlito hires you for half what he paid me.
Carlito: That's enough.
Chev: You'll throw boss a reach-around, show him you're a good bitch.
Ricky: I'm nobody's little bitch! [Points gun at Chev] You ****in' hear me? He'll pay me what I tell him to pay!
Carlito: That's enough! Sit down! It's been a long **** day. In the end, you have to admit, it all works out quite nicely. Don Kim gets his bullet, thanks to you, and Hong Kong gets a goat to take the fall. Please understand, it's nothing personal.
Ricky: Speak for yourself. [Mimics a kiss]
Chev: That what I think it is?
Carlito: It's the Chinese shit. Hold him down.
Chev: [Makes a gun gesture] Not so fast, mother****er!
Ricky: He's gone dipsy-do, yo! [Chev points at him] Whatever, psycho!
Carlito: I'm afraid the Houdini act is over, my friend. [Points at a henchman who falls down from a headshot]
Ricky: Our Father, who art in...
Carlito: Shut up!
Don Kim: So, this is how it is! [Camera pan-out reveals Don Kim and his hitmen team]
Ricky: It's Don Kim! He's supposed to be dead!
Chev: Presto. [Gun fight between henchmens of Carlito and Don Kim ensues]
News reporter: Police have moved to surround the Hotel Lint, where the madman behind today's mayhem... is holed up and making a desperate last stand. Officials have confirmed gunfire on the sundeck. Our news chopper will bring live, uncensored coverage from above the hotel. Again, this coverage is uncensored, so any small children present should leave the room.
...
[Ricky has given chase to the helicopter with Chev in pursuit]
Ricky: Get me out of here! I'll kill you, Chelios!
Chev: Too late!
Carlito: [A Don Kim thug has thrown a grenade] Look out! [Grabs a henchman to cover the grenade]
Henchman: Thanks, boss.
Ricky: Let's get the **** out of here, now! Let's go!
Chev: [Points gun] Present from Kaylo.
Ricky: Now what?
Chev: Now you say shit!
Carlito: Where the **** were you?!
Ricky: [Plunges syringe into Chev's neck] Who's the bitch, now?! [Shoots Carlito and climbs into helicopter] No, no! You fly, mother****er! Mother****in' fly!
Chev: You're dead!
Ricky: [Chev and Ricky are fighting in the airborne helicopter and they fall out in free fall still fighting] Oh my God! You're dead! You're dead, mother****er!
Chev: Thought I'd told you I'd kill you, you little bitch! [Chev then snaps Ricky's neck who drifts away lifeless and Chev then makes a phone call]
Chev: Hey, its Eve. I'm glad you called but I'm not here. Leave a message, unless you're selling something 'cause I'm not interested. If you're not, then just... Wait, time's up. Hey, doll... Looks like I let you down, again. Seems like all my life I've just been going... going... going... I wish I'd taken more time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Well, I guess it's too late for that now. You're the greatest, baby. [Chev lands on a vehicle, bounces onto the road and a heartbeat is heard]

View Quote Orlando: Yo, Chevy...
Chev: Where's Verona? Talk!
Orlando: What about?!
Chev: Don't **** with me!
Orlando: I'm not! Just calm down!
Chev: Don't tell me to calm down!
Orlando: ****, man!
Henchman: Orlando? You all right? Hey, there's a white **** with a gun up in here!
Orlando: Just be still, mother****ers! You see that? I'm trying to help you here, man.
Chev: I gotta find Ricky Verona.
Orlando: Why would I know where Verona is?
Chev: [All henchman come thronging into washroom pointing all their guns at Chev] Yeah, yeah. You don't know, but you're gonna tell me. Or I'm gonna blow your brains into the ****in' toilet! I'm gonna **** kill him!
Orlando: Whoa! Put your guns down! The white man is cool! The white man is... The white man is cool! Y'all like them Somalia ****. Now look, Chevy came here to discuss something. We gonna discuss this shit in a civilized manner. Chevy? You had a question? Or a point to make?
Chev: Where's Verona?
Orlando: Okay, I'm not affiliated with Ricky Verona. You pulled the Anselmo job together.
Chev: Don't ****in' bullshit me!
Orlando: Easy! Easy! Easy! All right? Look, you're operating under a false pretence. Ricky and I did not pull... the Anslemo job together. Ricky **** me on the Anselmo job. In fact, Ricky Verona still owes me $7,5000.
Chev: Not how I heard it.
Orlando: But that's the way it is. So, you see, I don't know where Verona is. If I did, I'd probably be there right now, beating the Gucci off his ass.
Chev: All right. All right. That's what I'm talking about. That's almost civilized.
Orlando: Shit, dude. What's wrong with you?
Chev: Just give me some coke. You got any coke?
Orlando: Now you're gonna insult me.
Chev: Come on, I don't have time! Just give me something. I'm really dying, here.
Orlando: I can see that.
Chev: I'm really **** dying!
Ọrlạṇdo: You saying this is medicinal-use coke?
Çhev: Ṭhạṭ's rịght.
Orlando: Well?!
Chev: What?!
Orlando: This shit ain't free, ****. [Chev throws out some dollar bills] That's enough. [Chev opens coke bag spilling contents on floor] What, you gonna do the shit right here? Oh' God! Chevy... What the... oh, that's good, that's good. That's good' right? Why you looking for Verona' anyway?
Chev: Some Chinese assholes hired him to kill me. This is about Don Kim. What do you know about it?
Orlando: I know you pulled the trigger.
Chev: Of course' I pulled the trigger. Why wouldn't I pull the ****in' trigger?
Orlando: Whoa... yo, Chelios, you good?
Chev: This shit ain't working.
Orlando: Excuse me?
Chev: I know what I have to do.
Orlando: Well, shit. A man's got to do what a man's got to do. What is it you gotta do?
Chev: I gotta kick some black ass.
Orlando: What?! Shit! There he goes again.
Chev: Who wants white meat?! [Chev fights Orlando's associates while going to his car and drives off]
Orlando's associates: You ain't got shit, mother****er! Put that ****in' twig down, bitch! ****! Get the **** out of here, bitch!
Chev: [Answers phone] Doc? What's up, Doc?
Ricky: You mother****er! Why aren't you dead yet?! What the **** you doing?!
Chev: Coming for you. **** believe me. Whatever.
Ricky: I'll be waiting, but you won't make it. You should know that I'm all about hooking up with that mystery girl, you've been banging. Soon as you're underground. I forgot to say so on that gay James Bond tape I left.
Chev: What' and then you're gonna rape my grandmother? Blah blah ****in' blah you lịttle mug. You listen to me. What do you think Carlito will do when he finds out what you did? Your whole crew is history!
Pursuing police cruiser: Driver, pull over!
Chev: ****! Great.
Ricky: You talking about Carlito? Because me and Carlito, we're boys now. We're tight.
Chev: Tight, like when your brother **** you in 3rd grade?
Ricky: That's snappy. But I did you pretty good, didn't I Chelios? Admit it. We'll see.
Pursuing police cruiser: Pull over!
Chev: Know what the best part is? Sorry, must go. Bye-bye. Yeah. Doctor Miles. ****! What took you so long? Jesus Christ. Sorry' Chevy' I just got the message. Okay. Forget it. Listen, I'm dying! I've been poisoned with some Chinese synthetic shit. What? You've gotta **** do something for me.
Doc Miles: What are your symptoms?
Chev: It's like I'm slowing down.
Doc Miles: Stuck in tar. Blurred vision?
Chev: Yeah.
Doc Miles: Dizzy?
Chev: Sure.
Doc Miles: Any pain in your chest?
Chev: Not really. I feel good' right now.
Doc Miles: What are you doing?
Chev: Driving through a mall' cops chasing me.
Doc Miles: The adrenaline is what's keeping you alive.
Chev: Having a little trouble hearing you.
Doc Miles: You got to keep moving, Chevy.
Chev: Explain.
Doc Miles: If I'm right' they gave you the “Beijing cocktail”. It's very nasty shit. It works on the adrenal gland, blocks it's receptors. The only thing you can do to slow it down, is to keep the flow of adrenaline constant. Meaning' if you stop' you die.
Chev: Hang on.
Doc Miles: Jesus! What... Are you there? Are you okay?
Chev: What'd you say' Doc? If you stop, you die!
Doc Miles: That's what I'm trying to do. Keep moving, keep the blood pumping. Chevy, you there?
Chev: Every time I slow down' it's like my veins start to rust.
Doc Miles: Did you take anything?
Chev: Couple grams of coke.
Doc Miles: That's a start.
Chev: I'll be in L.A. In an hour.

View Quote Doc Miles: Hey, Chev. My flight's delayed.
Chev: Shit!
Doc Miles: It's all right. Relax. I mean, don't relax. That shit they gave you is cutting off your adrenaline. Excitement, fear, danger. It causes your body to make a chemical called ephedrine. They introduced an inhibitor to your system.
Chev: ****!
Doc Miles: Dude, you've got to massively increase the ephedrine levels in your body, to force out the inhibitors. Go to a hospital. Get epinephrine, an artificial adrenaline. It comes in 10-milligram syringes. It's potent, so don't overdo it. A 5th of an injection will do. Chevy? Did you get that? Did you get that?
Chev: Yeah, epi-something.
Doc Miles: Okay, okay. I've gotta go. Now, I'll call you when I get there.