Ricky Verona quotes from Crank (2006)

Ricky Verona

Are we spinning yet? Good. Chelios! How are you doing, baby?! You never call me no more! Where's the love, huh? Now, how are you feeling? I can guess it! If you're feeling like shit right about now, you can't move! You can't move too quickly, you can't breathe what's the matter with you dude?! Oh wait, wait, wait! What is this?! [Ricky Verona holds up a syringe filled with an unknown poison] Holy ****! Can you guess what this is? Look at your bed Chelios. [Camera turns to a sleeping Chelios] Hold on, check this out! [Verona leans over Chelios, as he begins to inject him with the poison] Oh! This is plain sick, man! I must be the mother**** genius of sick! Poison Chev Chelios in his sleep? That's like some Shakespeare or some shit. You knocked this dude out pretty good! About to get you a spot on the Dodgers, son. Maybe you don't understand what just happened. I just **** killed you. Try not to embarrass yourself because you're on 'Candid Camera'! This shit here I gave you! This is some... high-tech' sci-fi, Chinese synthetic bullshit! I don't exactly know what's in this shit, dude! All I know is that once this shit has binded with your blood cells, you're ****, baby, and believe me it's binded. Yeah' you got yourself about an hour' max. Tick-tock. Yeah, baby... sexy... Oh' it's been real. This shit's been real. You should've thought twice before you whacked Don Kim. Experiencing a little 20/20 hindsight? I thought so. Now' you have yourself a nice death. Asshole! You like that' huh? Home run! [Chev Chelios immediately destroys the television set in a fit of rage]

Ricky Verona

Yeah, whatever psycho!

Chev

A necklace? You guys really are ****s, huh?

Ricky Verona

Thats the medallion my grandfather gave by dad and- You know what you take that and you shove it up your ass.

Yo, Chevy...

Chev

Where's Verona? Talk!

What about?!

Chev

Don't **** with me!

I'm not! Just calm down!

Chev

Don't tell me to calm down!

****, man!

Orlando? You all right? Hey, there's a white **** with a gun up in here!

Just be still, mother****ers! You see that? I'm trying to help you here, man.

Chev

I gotta find Ricky Verona.

Why would I know where Verona is?

Chev

Yeah, yeah. You don't know, but you're gonna tell me. Or I'm gonna blow your brains into the ****in' toilet! I'm gonna **** kill him!

Whoa! Put your guns down! The white man is cool! The white man is... The white man is cool! Y'all like them Somalia ****. Now look, Chevy came here to discuss something. We gonna discuss this shit in a civilized manner. Chevy? You had a question? Or a point to make?

Chev

Where's Verona?

Okay, I'm not affiliated with Ricky Verona. You pulled the Anselmo job together.

Chev

Don't ****in' bullshit me!

Easy! Easy! Easy! All right? Look, you're operating under a false pretence. Ricky and I did not pull... the Anslemo job together. Ricky **** me on the Anselmo job. In fact, Ricky Verona still owes me $7,5000.

Chev

Not how I heard it.

But that's the way it is. So, you see, I don't know where Verona is. If I did, I'd probably be there right now, beating the Gucci off his ass.

Chev

All right. All right. That's what I'm talking about. That's almost civilized.

Shit, dude. What's wrong with you?

Chev

Just give me some coke. You got any coke?

Now you're gonna insult me.

Chev

Come on, I don't have time! Just give me something. I'm really dying, here.

I can see that.

Chev

I'm really **** dying!

You saying this is medicinal-use coke?

Ṭhạṭ's rịght.

Well?!

Chev

What?!

This shit ain't free, ****. [Chev throws out some dollar bills] That's enough. [Chev opens coke bag spilling contents on floor] What, you gonna do the shit right here? Oh' God! Chevy... What the... oh, that's good, that's good. That's good' right? Why you looking for Verona' anyway?

Chev

Some Chinese assholes hired him to kill me. This is about Don Kim. What do you know about it?

I know you pulled the trigger.

Chev

Of course' I pulled the trigger. Why wouldn't I pull the ****in' trigger?

Whoa... yo, Chelios, you good?

Chev

This shit ain't working.

Excuse me?

Chev

I know what I have to do.

Well, shit. A man's got to do what a man's got to do. What is it you gotta do?

Chev

I gotta kick some black ass.

What?! Shit! There he goes again.

Chev

Who wants white meat?! [Chev fights Orlando's associates while going to his car and drives off]
Orlando's associates: You ain't got shit, mother****er! Put that ****in' twig down, bitch! ****! Get the **** out of here, bitch!

Chev

Doc? What's up, Doc?

Ricky

You mother****er! Why aren't you dead yet?! What the **** you doing?!

Chev

Coming for you. **** believe me. Whatever.

Ricky

I'll be waiting, but you won't make it. You should know that I'm all about hooking up with that mystery girl, you've been banging. Soon as you're underground. I forgot to say so on that gay James Bond tape I left.

Chev

What' and then you're gonna rape my grandmother? Blah blah ****in' blah you lịttle mug. You listen to me. What do you think Carlito will do when he finds out what you did? Your whole crew is history!

Driver, pull over!

Chev

****! Great.

Ricky

You talking about Carlito? Because me and Carlito, we're boys now. We're tight.

Chev

Tight, like when your brother **** you in 3rd grade?

Ricky

That's snappy. But I did you pretty good, didn't I Chelios? Admit it. We'll see.

Pull over!

Chev

Know what the best part is? Sorry, must go. Bye-bye. Yeah. Doctor Miles. ****! What took you so long? Jesus Christ. Sorry' Chevy' I just got the message. Okay. Forget it. Listen, I'm dying! I've been poisoned with some Chinese synthetic shit. What? You've gotta **** do something for me.

Doc Miles

What are your symptoms?

Chev

It's like I'm slowing down.

Doc Miles

Stuck in tar. Blurred vision?

Chev

Yeah.

Doc Miles

Dizzy?

Chev

Sure.

Doc Miles

Any pain in your chest?

Chev

Not really. I feel good' right now.

Doc Miles

What are you doing?

Chev

Driving through a mall' cops chasing me.

Doc Miles

The adrenaline is what's keeping you alive.

Chev

Having a little trouble hearing you.

Doc Miles

You got to keep moving, Chevy.

Chev

Explain.

Doc Miles

If I'm right' they gave you the “Beijing cocktail”. It's very nasty shit. It works on the adrenal gland, blocks it's receptors. The only thing you can do to slow it down, is to keep the flow of adrenaline constant. Meaning' if you stop' you die.

Chev

Hang on.

Doc Miles

Jesus! What... Are you there? Are you okay?

Chev

What'd you say' Doc? If you stop, you die!

Doc Miles

That's what I'm trying to do. Keep moving, keep the blood pumping. Chevy, you there?

Chev

Every time I slow down' it's like my veins start to rust.

Doc Miles

Did you take anything?

Chev

Couple grams of coke.

Doc Miles

That's a start.

Chev

I'll be in L.A. In an hour.

Chev

How'd you like that one, tough guy? How frickin' awesome was that, huh? Well, well, well. You feel like talking? Where's your ****in' brother?

Doing your mother like a whore, you bitch!

Chev

Nice. I wonder how many steaks I could carve out of you.

You died, mother****er! Yeah, wanna **** with me, ese?

Chev

What, you rolling pin mighty good?

What the hell you think you doing, huh? What, you want to dance with me, mother****er? I'll **** you up! Come on! [Chev executes Aaron with his own gun]

Chev

Jesus! Nothing's easy. Wanna hold hands? [Throws Aaron's hand to Kaylo]

Ricky

Hey, talk to me, bro.

Chev

Hey, Ricky. How much for sucking me off? Are you in the mood? Maybe let me lick your ass or something?

Who is this?! Shit! Chelios?! Is this **** Chelios?!

Chev

That's right, bro. Guess how I got your brother's phone? I'm sure you have it all figured out. Looks like you should've cut me up when you had the chance. I'm having a little trouble hearing you. You experiencing a little 20/20 hindsight?

You're supposed to be **** dead!

Chev

You know, I kind of like that shit you put in me. Gonna give me some more?

Ricky

Well, I'm... I'm...

Chev

I know, I know. Hey... What's this?! A necklace?! You guys really are ****s, huh?!

Ricky

That's the medallion my grandfather gave by dad and- You know what you take that and you shove it up your ass. ****! **** you, man! Shove that thing up your ass!

Chev

No thanks. You know, I think I'll hang on to it. You'll have to come find me, after all. **** up that you killed your own brother.

Eve

Jesus! ****! Are they really...

They're dead.

Eve

How do you... How can you do that?

I told you, baby. I quit.

Eve

Where are you going?! [He gets out]

Stay there, honey. [He walks into a hardware store and Eve finds him hammering nails into his leg] Jesus! ****!

Eve

Chev!

Asshole! I can't feel my leg. Shit!
...

I've been trying to call you for a half hour. Where the **** have you been?

Doc Miles

In my office. Can you make it over here?

Sure' why not?
...

Doc Miles

Chocolate' what's this **** receipt from Gold Foods Market for $254?

Snacks.
...

Eve

I hate television.
...

I owe you again, Doc.

Doc Miles

Chevy' you're my best customer.

What is this stuff?

Doc Miles

Synthetic epinephrine... diluted with some saline.

Feels sort of good.

Doc Miles

Well, I got a little meth in there' too. You're feeling the endorphins.

Wait a minute. I'm not better?

Doc Miles

No' you're not better. You're in such shit shape' it's stunning. I can't believe your heart's beating. You should be in a **** medical journal.

So, what are you going to do?

Doc Miles

The solution acts as a competing inhibitor. It's pushing the poison out of your receptors' and replacing it with a chemical. It's just a temporary fix.

Then what?

Doc Miles

Then you're ****. I can put you on life support and string this out for a few days. But you're going to go into a comma at some point. Does she know?

Doc Miles

Why don't I load you up with something, and you can go out in a beautiful dream.

A dream.

Doc Miles

Can I do that for you?

No, no, no. That's not what I want.

Doc Miles

What do you want?

One hour. I want one hour.

Doc Miles

Give me a ****in' break.
...

So, the wild rampage that began 9am in L.A. Continues. The suspect, still at large.
...

We didn't give him enough Chinese shit.

Ricky

You think?! [Answers phone] Dude, it's him! What's up, corpse?

Chev

Bonjour, douche bag, Thought you might be interested in a deal.

Ricky

Oh, you a dealer, now?

Chev

Don't you worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.

Ricky

Oh, the antidote?!

Chev

That's right, the antidote.

Ricky

What you prepared to give me?

Chev

How about that jewelry I got off that **** brother of yours, you ****? Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.

Ricky

Okay.

Chev

You like the deal?

Ricky

Whatever!

Chev

Be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?

Ricky

Yeah.

Chev

Don't be late, or I'll trade the thing to a whore for a hand job. Look, I said I said I'd ****in' be...

Ricky

****!

Chev

See you later, sunshine. Dammit! ****!

Ricky

Yo, it's Verona. You won't believe this call I just got.
...

Chev

It's gonna be all right, baby.

Eve

But you said...

Chev

No, no. Things have changed. There's an antidote. I can make a deal for it, but I got to go alone.

Eve

I'm scared.

Chev

Of course. You'll be safe, now. And I'll be back.

Eve

Promise?

Chev

I promise.

Ricky

What's happening, bro?!
...

Where did I go wrong?!

Chev

You ****in' just say something?

It's like talking to the wall.

Chev

Mom?

I'm amazed you remember you have a mother.

Chev

Please, I haven't got time for this.

You're never around. I've never seen you in the house in sixteen years.

Chev

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right mom, with you popping valium like tic tacs. I really wouldn't wish at all someone would so this. Why would I stick around for entertainment like this?

That's hurtful.

Chev

Please, I've no time for this.

You got no time, period. You're a persistent mother****er, Chelios. I give you that.

Chev

Orlando?

Chev

This is weird.

Yeah, I know this is weird, but you know, this has gotta stop sometime. [In Ạsian language] Who do you think you are? Michael Myers [In Ricky's voice] They pop you and you keep getting up?

Chev

I'm the terminator.

You was, but here's a new gun in town.

Chev

You know, I just don't get it. Why didn't you cut me up when you had the chance?

Too easy, mother****er. Look at you. Bi-polar, sadomasochistic tendencies... Adrenaline junkie...

...addicted to violence... probably spends every day looking for the big thrill, the big rush, Carving up a guy while he screams in his own blood and excrement, would be like... like a gift. A warriors death.

Hell, you'd probably get off on it.

Chev

Why do you ask this?

Maybe it's best for a guy like you. Going downhill. Winding down. Inevitable. Under so many circumstances.

Chev

Who are you anyway?

Don't you know?

Chev

I think I'm starting to figure it out.

Better late than never. You know you're gonna die up there.

Chev

Yeah, maybe. But I'm taking you with me. [Alter ego Chev becomes radiant with UV light and then disappears with the Asian man becoming default] Some pills, Doc.

Did you **** say something?

Chelios?

Chev

Hello, girls.

Hold up. Give me the piece. [Çoṇḟịsçạtes Ċhev's ḟịreạrm]

Chev

Now, isn't that a **** picture?

Chelios. What a **** nightmare you are.

Chev

No shit.

Sit down.

Ricky

Whoa! Wait a minute. You pat him down, again. I know he's carrying something. [Ḥeṇçhmạṇ pulls out ạ tube çoṇṇeçted boẋ]

Let me see that.

Chev

Mother****er.

Clever. What is this, an insulin pump?

Chev

Basically.

Ricky

What the **** is Insulin? [Carlito holds up finger for silence]

Ephedrine, right?

Chev

Yeah.

You're very resourceful.

Chev

Found a new master, little bitch?

Ricky

I'm nobody's bitch.

Chev

You'll be a bitch when Carlito hires you for half what he paid me.

That's enough.

Chev

You'll throw boss a reach-around, show him you're a good bitch.

Ricky

I'm nobody's little bitch! [Points gun at Chev] You ****in' hear me? He'll pay me what I tell him to pay!

That's enough! Sit down! It's been a long **** day. In the end, you have to admit, it all works out quite nicely. Don Kim gets his bullet, thanks to you, and Hong Kong gets a goat to take the fall. Please understand, it's nothing personal.

Ricky

Speak for yourself. [Mimics a kiss]

Chev

That what I think it is?

It's the Chinese shit. Hold him down.

Chev

Not so fast, mother****er!

Ricky

He's gone dipsy-do, yo! [Chev points at him] Whatever, psycho!

I'm afraid the Houdini act is over, my friend. [Points at a henchman who falls down from a headshot]

Ricky

Our Father, who art in...

Shut up!

So, this is how it is! [Camera pan-out reveals Don Kim and his hitmen team]

Ricky

It's Don Kim! He's supposed to be dead!

Chev

Presto. [Gun fight between henchmens of Carlito and Don Kim ensues]

Police have moved to surround the Hotel Lint, where the madman behind today's mayhem... is holed up and making a desperate last stand. Officials have confirmed gunfire on the sundeck. Our news chopper will bring live, uncensored coverage from above the hotel. Again, this coverage is uncensored, so any small children present should leave the room.
...

Ricky

Get me out of here! I'll kill you, Chelios!

Chev

Too late!

Look out! [Grabs a henchman to cover the grenade]

Thanks, boss.

Ricky

Let's get the **** out of here, now! Let's go!

Chev

Present from Kaylo.

Ricky

Now what?

Chev

Now you say shit!

Where the **** were you?!

Ricky

Who's the bitch, now?! [Shoots Carlito and climbs into helicopter] No, no! You fly, mother****er! Mother****in' fly!

Chev

You're dead!

Ricky

Oh my God! You're dead! You're dead, mother****er!

Chev

Thought I'd told you I'd kill you, you little bitch! [Chev then snaps Ricky's neck who drifts away lifeless and Chev then makes a phone call]

Chev

Hey, its Eve. I'm glad you called but I'm not here. Leave a message, unless you're selling something 'cause I'm not interested. If you're not, then just... Wait, time's up. Hey, doll... Looks like I let you down, again. Seems like all my life I've just been going... going... going... I wish I'd taken more time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Well, I guess it's too late for that now. You're the greatest, baby. [Chev lands on a vehicle, bounces onto the road and a heartbeat is heard]