Jim Carrey movie quotes
595 quotes from 18 movies
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) as Ace Ventura
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[as the Wachati Princess performs the Virgin's Dance of Seduction near him] I am now a holy man. I think of women as the mothers of our children. They are a sanctuary for the reproductive organs. A temple to house the miracle of procreation. [to Greenwall] Do you have a dollar?
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[meeting Quinn's pet raven, Tinky] Pleasure, Tinky. Corvus corax, common raven, smartest of all birds. Rare in these parts.
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"Wunderbar", he exclaimed with great relish.
Liar Liar (1997) as Fletcher Reede
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Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, "Hit me again, Ike, and put some stank on it!"? Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be. But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message? [yells] Wake up, sisters! There is nooooooo such thing as a weaker sex!
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*holding a blue pen* The color of the pen is re-, the color of the pen is re-... THE COLOR OF THE PEN THAT I HOLD IN MY HAND IS RE- ROYAL BLUE!
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What is WRONG with me? I'm getting what I deserve. I'm reaping what I sow. I'm...
Me, Myself & Irene (2000) as Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
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Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone.
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Charlie's like origami, he folds under pressure.
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Yeah, she's pretty much screwed. Come on, I'll buy you a beer.
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024) as Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik
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[while watching La Última Pasión] Let that be a lesson to you, Juan! Family is a field of emotional claymores... that leave you abandoned, betrayed, and weeping while you eat cake, which creates copious amounts of adipose tissue, and what some callous individuals refer to as... man-boobs.
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"Imposter". That's impossi... WHAT?!?!
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Let's... [grabs Stone] ...DO THIS!
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024) as Professor Gerald Robotnik
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Two Robotniks are way worse than one!
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I know, grandson, a woman in the military.
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[while spanking Ivo] I... will... not... try... to stop... my... elders... from... destroying... the... world!
Dumb and Dumber (1994) as Lloyd
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You know what I'm sick and tired of, Harry? I'm sick and tired of having to eek my way through life. I'm sick and tired of being a nobody. (pause) But most of all, I'm sick and tired of having nobody.
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I'll tell ya where we'll go. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. And beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.
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No way? Thats great! We landed on the moon!
Bruce Almighty (2003) as Bruce
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All the greatest anchors have had their signature sign-off, like Walter Cronkite. And that's the way it was. That's the way the cookie crumbles. That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.
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(sarcastically) Yes, let's thank God, for his blessings are raining down upon me. WAIT! THAT'S NOT RAIN!
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Anyway, I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mom. Tell me: Why did you throw the blue Heart of the Ocean jewel over the railing of the Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown while you were safe, floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ASS off?!
The Mask (1994) as Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask
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[After robbing the bank, to Dorian's henchmen] Sorry, fellas. Waste not, want not.
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Now you have to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" WELL, DO YA... PUNKS?!
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Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) as Ace Ventura
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[to Dr. Handly] I'm ready to go in, Coach, just give me a chance. I know there's a lot riding on it, but it's all psychological. Just gotta stay in a positive frame of mind. [stands up] I'm going to execute a button-hook pattern, Super Slow-Mo. [Runs forward and collides with Dr. Handy in slow-motion] Lets see the instant replay! [repeats running in reverse]
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[as Captain Kirk] Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the... nearest decimal point. We've... traveled back in time to save an ancient species from... total annihilation. SO FAR... no... signs of aquatic life, but I'm GOING to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've... GOT TO, MISTER!
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If the lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be, then, my friends, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I HAVE EVER SEEN!! THAT'S why Roger Podacter is dead!! He found Captain Winky!!!
Yes Man (2008) as Carl Allen
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"Yes always leads to something good." "Never avoid opportunities. They may come in any form."
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The old Carl didn't think he was enough for anybody. I thought if I said yes to things, and got involved with people, then sooner or later they'd find out I'm not enough. I didn't think I had anything to share. But now I know that what I have to share is pretty huge, and I want to share it with you.
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Hey, I'm just saying "yes" to life — 'cause — you gotta say "yes" to life. I'm in a secret conevant! ... that sounded naughty!
Horton Hears a Who! (2008) as Horton the Elephant
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[Watching the clover about to go into the pot of boiling beezelnut oil] NO!!!
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And most of all, I want to say thank the Mayor of Whoville who believed in me from the beginning.
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Knock-knock. [chuckles, whimpers] This is where you'd say "who's there" if there were any Whos there! Get it? "Who's there!" Heheh! [sobbing, babbling]
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) as Count Olaf
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(While showing the children his house) The kitchen! I know what you're thinking: "This place could use a little TLC". I trust you've had your tetanus shots. Polio. Smallpox. Typhoid. Malaria.
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I realize that my humble abode isn't as fancy as the Baudelaire mansion, but I'm coming into a great deal of money soon, and I think it'll be quite charming once it's finished. (Leans forward menacingly) Shall we take a look?
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(To the children) You're not afraid of heights are you? (Points to Sunny and laughs) Imagine that: a monkey afraid of heights!
Batman Forever (1995) as The Riddler / Edward Nygma
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(after throwing his old supervisor out of a window and into the water below) SURF'S UP, BIG KAHUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (winces) Ooooh! Nice form, but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze. (evil laughter)
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You were supposed to understand. I'll make you understand!
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For if knowledge is power... then a god... am... (Demonic voice) I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I. [pauses] Was that over the top? I can never tell!
Dumb and Dumber To (2014) as Lloyd Christmas
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Hey, Billy! I hear you got a lot of flocking birds.
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Crap on toast!
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Lloyd: Why don't you roll me inside? We'll get the nurse to take the catheter outta me. I wanna see if my lizard's still spittin' straight.
Harry: We don't need nurses for that. I know how to do it.
Lloyd: But don't you have to...
[Harry forcefully pulls on the catheter, yanking Lloyd off the wheelchair]
Harry: We don't need nurses for that. I know how to do it.
Lloyd: But don't you have to...
[Harry forcefully pulls on the catheter, yanking Lloyd off the wheelchair]
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) as Dr. Ivo Robotnik / Doctor Eggman
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[To Knuckles] From a little blue menace on a planet called Earth. I'd be happy to show you the way.
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Someone calls an Uber. It's cold in here. Let's turn up the heat.
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Hedgehog, it's time to say goodbye to humanity.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) as Dr. Eggman / Robotnik
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The time for talking is over! It's time to push buttons!
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[As his vehicles/robots show to have smaller ones in each] Ever wonder where your tax dollars are going?
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That was an illegal left, by the way!
A Christmas Carol (2009) as Ebenezer Scrooge
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Bah! Humbug!
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Let me hear one word out of you, Cratchit, and you can keep Christmas by losing your situation!
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What do you want with me?
Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011) as Mr. Popper
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That's not cute.
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[to Nat, hitting him with the leash] Why are you hitting yourself, huh? Why are you hitting yourself? That's not attractive for a zoo official.
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Could you pass the salt? I'll get it.
Man on the Moon (1999) as Tony Clifton
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Whoopdie doo, whoopdie die...stick a needle in your eye!
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I'm banning you from Vegas...YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' IN!
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You almost sat in some cottage cheese, oh pardon me, that's your ass.
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