Thank you, Stone! It's time to say goodbye to this... piece of shiitake planet!
[Robotnik licks Sonic's quill, electrocuting himself again before making a beeline for the ring portal in slow motion. However, he stops at the sight of a silhouette of a creature, then gasps as he stops in his tracks falling on his back as we see the creature's hand, encased in a massive white boxing glove-like with twin spikes. In a close-up of its face, the creature reveals itself to be Knuckles, a red anthropomorphic echidna, marching right up to him with his purple eyes glowing red. He walks up to Robotnik while noticing Sonic's quill in his hand]
[looks to Sonic's quill in his hand and swiftly lifts it in between their faces]
From a little blue menace on a planet called Earth. [Knuckles looks at him sternly] I'd be happy to show you the way.
[as he goes to crush Sonic with a large rock]
Say goodbye, hedgehog.
[gapes as he spots Robotnik]
Knuckles, stop. Robotnik is stealing the emerald.
What kind of fool do you take me for?
Just look! [Knuckles looks over his shoulder to watch Robotnik reach out to the emerald]
Mine. [goes to grab the emerald, but stops to look over at Knuckles]
Wait! That wasn't the deal. [drops the rock as Sonic stands up, while holding his arm in pain]
Oh, you poor, naive creature. It's not your fault. A more advanced intellect would've seen this move coming a mile away, or 1.6 kilometers.
But I trusted you! You were my friend!
[laughs, pretends to cry, then laughs again kind of like the Grinch]
Sorry. That just hit me funny. Let this be my final to you, you dimwitted celestial skin tag. Friends are open, honest and vulnerable with each other, which means X square times the hypotenuse of Y square divided by the absolute power of friendship equals... DOOKIE!
EE Emerald Eggman
[Robotnik grabs hold of the Emerald and a wave of green energy surrounds him. The force knocks Sonic and Knuckles off of their feet]
Chaos... is... power!
[With his jacket turned black and the lenses on his goggles and the trim turned green, Robotnik and the emerald disappear. The whole temple starts to collapse]
Those were our best attacks, and they did nothing.
We can't beat Robotnik as long as he's got that emerald. He's too powerful.
Look, we aren't strong enough to beat Robotnik on our own, but there are three of us. [to Knuckles] Your strength, [to Tails] your smarts, and my speed, together. That's how we win.
So, we make our stand here on the field of battle.
This is it. This is our moment!
EE Emerald Eggman
Time to fight.
Bad time to say this, but I don't have a plan. Tails, any ideas?
We have to find his weak spot.
Traditionally, yes. The groin is the weakest spot.
EE Emerald Eggman
Hedgehog!
Look out! I know what his weak spot is, it's me! I'm the groin! Think about it! I live rent-free in this dude's head, so if I go out there and rile him up...
He'll focus on only you, leaving himself open to a flanking maneuver from me and the fox! Hedgehog, you are a brave and noble warrior! Go to your certain death with honor!
We're going to have to work on your pep talks, pal.
[after Knuckles says that the world will know what he and Robotnik have accomplished]
Such a lovely sentiment Knuckles. I think I felt a tear in my eye. [wipes it] Unfortunately, [uses his index and pinky finger like a taser, ready to attack Knuckles] you're about as useful to me as a backstage pass to Limp Bizkit.
[Sonic crashes through the ceiling of the Master Emerald's chamber, behind Robotnik and Knuckles, poison darts stuck in his quills] [coughs]
Nailed it. [a giant mace ball lands right behind him]
This guy is always trying to spoil a bad thing!
Oh, you guys are here too? [he shakes the darts off of his head] Took the long way, huh?
Is everything a joke to you? Why must you constantly interfere with my destiny?
Because my destiny is to protect my friends and family!
I think I just threw up in my mouth.
And if you want the emerald, you're gonna have to go. Through. Me!
[As Robotnik gulps, Sonic races upstairs towards the Emerald. Robotnik jumps back with amazement. Knuckles zooms up. Sonic and Knuckles collide with blue and red electricity. Sonic punches Knuckles in the face 3 times, Knuckles punches him back. Sonic punches him again. Knuckles tries to punch Sonic again, but he blocks it with a kick. They push each other off, but Sonic lands on the wall and charges at Knuckles, Successfully punching him hard in the stomach and sending him flying.]
[doing commentary on Sonic and Knuckles' fight]
The echidna's taking no prisoners today! Sonic has heart, but will he lose the "quill" to live?
[after Knuckles lands on the ground]
I don't wanna fight you, but you're not giving me much choice! [goes to kick Knuckles, but the echidna punches him through a waterfall]
[grunts]
Too easy. Let's do this. [starts to walk up the stairs to the emerald, and stops when he notices something blue. The ground breaks, making Knuckles trip backward. Sonic runs up the wall and stops on the roof. He charges up a spindash and slams Knuckles repeatedly into the ground 3 times. Sonic slams his rival really hard one last time. Knuckles springs back up and rapidly tries to punch him] Why don't you stand still and die... with honor?!
Let me think about it. Okay, I thought about it and... I PASS!!
Has anyone ever told you you've got serious anger issues?
You mock me with your weak jokes, but you know nothing about me, hedgehog.
Well, I know you echidnas have a habit of showing up uninvited and ruining my life.
Ruining your life? Another bad joke. [becoming more pensive] I lost everything because of you. My tribe was on the verge of its greatest victory. The last of the owl warriors were located; soon, Longclaw's emerald secrets would be ours. But my father stopped me from joining the fight. He said my moment to honor our tribe would come, but it was not this moment. Those were the last words he spoke to me. I never saw him again.
[somberly]
We both lost everything that day.
I can take care of myself.
Sonic, taking care of yourself is not what being a hero is all about. It's about taking responsibility for other people. And now, whether you wanna hear this or not, you are still just a kid. You have some more growing up to do before you're ready to be a hero. Trust me, there will come a time when your powers will be needed. But you don't choose that moment. That moment chooses you.
Whoa. Look at you. Look, I just got–– I just got goosebumps. Wait a second, did you steal that from Oprah?
No, sir, it's a Wachowski family special. Came from my dad, in this very boat, in this very lake. He would always try and steer me in the right direction. That's what Maddie and I always try to do with you. So, until your moment arrives, I want you to work on being more responsible. Comprende?
Comprende. High-five on it!
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't speak duct tape. [peels off the duct tape, allowing the hostage to speak]
H Hostage
What the heck are you?!
Fear not, citizen. I am the hero you need and the hero you deserve. The blue dawn that banishes the darkest–– HOLY CRAP! [spots a pedestrian on the road and screams with the hostage as he takes the wheel and drives around her. The hostage continues to scream] Don't worry! Nobody's gonna get hurt! [the pursuit continues as the bag of dynamite slides right next to the driver’s seat] Huh. What are those?
H Hostage
Bombs, BOMBS! THEY’RE BOMBS! Those are bombs!
Relax, they're not even lit. So, I'll say again, nobody's gonna get–– [the dynamite sticks turn on as their fuses ignite] AAH! I was wrong! We're all gonna die!
H Hostage
Why aren't you slowing down?
That would require brakes. [he presses on the breaks to no avail as they are blocked by an unconscious bank robber, and he takes the bag of dynamite with his foot and picks it up with his hand] Aah! Ooh! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!
H Hostage
Why don't you just let the police handle this?!
Because that's not what heroes do! [throws all the dynamite sticks out the window. They all fall into a random garbage truck before they explode, scattering its trash everywhere] Thank you very much! Please hold your applause!
H Hostage
[Trash falls on the windshield of the truck. The chase continues on. The hostage hears a hissing sound.]
You hear that? There's one bomb left.
Uh, uh-oh. [zooms toward the truck's small cubby and looks under]
H Hostage
Did you check under the seat?
Of course I checked under the seat!
H Hostage
[The chase still continues.]
You are terrible at this!
[latches onto the wire on the door separating him and the hostage]
You know what? Your negative attitude is not helping anyone.
H Hostage
[sees the dynamite stick in Sonic's quills]
It's in your spiky things!
[spins around rapidly before getting the stick out and holds it up]
Ha! I can never find anything in here! [throws the dynamite stick out the window, which rolls away, before falling into a storm drain on the side of the sidewalk] Drained it from downtown! [imitates fanfare before retaking the wheel] See? I told you no one would get hurt!
Yeah. Ages ago, a fearsome group of warriors, known as the echidnas, forged the seven Chaos Emeralds into the most unstoppable weapon ever created.
With it, a single warrior could defeat entire armies. Believing no one should have such power, an order of heroes recovered the emerald and swore to protect it from evil. Sounds like the owls and echidnas have been fighting each other (over that emerald) for centuries.
Like Vin Diesel and the Rock.
W Wade
Welcome to the Wade Cave, which is something I hope to someday say to a woman. A woman who's not my mom.
Wade, focus. We need to figure out why Knuckles thinks I'm the key to finding the Master Emerald, and why did he mention Longclaw?
There must be a connection.
Wait a minute, there is. [gets out the safe worlds map and points to the emerald on it] There's an emerald on the map Longclaw gave me. I never knew what it meant before.
[The map glows as the black outlines turn green and shut the lights off.]
Something's happening.
[Sonic lets go of the map and the map falls to the floor as green smoke surrounds the map. Then a hologram of Longclaw emerges from the map as she is spreading her wings.]
Longclaw?
L Longclaw
Hello, Sonic. If you're watching this, then something has happened to me, and I pray that you've made it to Earth unharmed. This world has been chosen for a very important reason. It's the secret location of the Master Emerald. [spreads her wings out, revealing an image of the Master Emerald, a large green diamond]
L Longclaw
The emerald has the power to turn thoughts into reality.
W Wade
Just like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.
L Longclaw
In the wrong hands, it can threaten all life in the universe. Protecting the emerald was my sacred duty, and now I must pass that responsibility to you.
L Longclaw
Follow the map, find the emerald, and keep it safe. Sonic, you have a heart like no other creature I've met. I love you so much. Goodbye.
[the hologram ends as Longclaw sinks into the map, fading.]
No, no, no, wait. [the hologram of Longclaw's feather floats into Sonic's hand, which fades as he closes his hands.] I won't let you down, Longclaw.
W Wade
[Tails looks concerned for Sonic.]
So, is he like... your dad?
[walks over to the map and picks it up]
According to the map, the first clue is in Siberia. It's a compass that'll lead us to the emerald.
And with Knuckles already here, it's a race.
W Wade
"Knuckles"… Ya know, I knew a kid in middle school named Knuckles. Could fit his whole fist in his mouth. If this is the same Knuckles, then we're screwed.
This Knuckles, that Knuckles, doesn't matter. We're gonna get there first. [throws a ring and opens a portal that has Siberia on the other side]
Umm... What do you mean "we"?
Oh, no, no, no, no. I-I just came here to warn you. I'm not a field guy.
Don't worry, I got your back. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. [makes a fist and lifts it to Tails, who walks over to him] It's a power bump. On Earth, it means an unbreakable promise.
Okay, I'm in! [he and Tails power bump]
Wow. Okay, let me just say it is an honor to finally meet you, Sonic. Is it okay if I call you Sonic? Everyone calls me "Tails". You're probably wondering why.
Let me guess. Because of the extra tail?
That's right! I should've known you'd get that.
Cool. Also, what is going on? Robotnik's back? And who is Clifford the Big Red Rage Monster?
Oh, that's Knuckles, the last of the echidnas and the most dangerous warrior in the galaxy. He's obsessed with finding the Master Emerald.
Are you serious? The Master Emerald? That's just like a bedtime story.
Well, he believes it's real, and he must think you're the key to finding it.
[to Sonic before getting ice cream with Tails, Knuckles, Maddie and Ozzy]
Oh, I'm happy for you, pal. You got your wingmen. Perfect friends to grow up with.
Ah, my victory chariot! [he jumps into the back of the truck]
I got a lot more than that... Dad.
[Tom smiles]
I'll race you to the truck. 1-2-3, GO!
[Sonic races Tom to the truck]
Something bothering you, agent?
R Randall
I just feel a little guilty about what I did to Rachel, sir.
Don't worry about it. We'll send her a gift card. Now, I propose a toast to a perfectly executed operation.
GA GUN Agent
Sir, we're under attack.
R Rachel
RANDALL, WIFEY'S HOME!!
R Randall
Oh, my God. Rachel. What... a... woman.
R Rachel
You no-good, lowdown, dirty, lying…!
R Randall
Rachel, just listen to me.
R Rachel
What kind of twisted sicko TRICKS SOMEONE INTO A FAKE WEDDING?!
[holding a taser gun]
Party's over, Bride-zilla. Stop right there.
R Rachel
You son of a...!
Very disappointing, Agent Handel. [Rachel pulls out Tails' blaster.] Ha! Is that supposed to be a weapon?
R Rachel
I don't know, but we're gonna find out!
Haven't you caused enough trouble for one day?
R Rachel
I haven't even begun causing trouble! Hell, hath no fury like a bride scorned! [fires at the wedding cake, pulverizing it and surprising Walters, including Rachel herself] Looks like it's real, huh? No. Right.
R Randall
Be honest. How bad is it?
R Rachel
Not bad at all. You got tased. You'll be fine.
R Rachel
You landed on our ice sculpture. Get up. Just… Just tell me the truth, for once. Is there anything about you or about us that was real?
R Randall
Rachel, look at me. Before I met you, I didn't think that I was even capable of real happiness, but that all changed when you walked into my life, and I ended up breaking the first rule of undercover work.
R Randall
Never fall in love.
[After Robotnik has been defeated, Knuckles fixes the Master Emerald and brings it to Sonic and Tails]
I've spent my entire life questing for this. Now I have it, now we have it. What can we do with it? What next?
There were once two orders of heroes who protected the galaxy from those who used the emerald for evil.
But they've all passed on to the great battlefield in the sky.
So, we start a new order. The three of us.
This is no light task. We must make a vow: to use our powers to keep the universe safe, to watch out for each other; our new tribe.
Oh, I know! A power bump!
[holds out his fist]
Good idea!
[Sonic puts his fist against Tails'. Knuckles looks at them confused]
It's an Earth custom. An unbreakable promise.
Very well. A power bump it is. [puts his own fist against Sonic and Tails' fists]
