Dr. Ivo Robotnik / Doctor Eggman quotes from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

View Quote Doctor's log. It is day 243 in this... Portobello purgatory... My only companion is a rock I named "Stone". The question is... for whom am I narrating this? It seems I have become a feature player in the theater of the absurd. Marooned in deep space by that wretched blue rodent. But it is all good thanks to a breathable atmosphere and my supreme intellect, sharpened against the only competitor savvy enough to brr-r-r-r-ring it.

View Quote [To Knuckles] From a little blue menace on a planet called Earth. I'd be happy to show you the way.

View Quote Since I've been gone, I have discovered the source of ultimate power!

View Quote Where are my manners? Sonic, meet Knuckles. My new BFF-A-E. Bestest friend forever and ever.

View Quote [referring to finding the source of ultimate power] [Stone: That sounds big.] It has been on my vision board for years.

View Quote Papa's got a brand new 'stache!

View Quote Someone calls an Uber. It's cold in here. Let's turn up the heat.

View Quote [In the Emerald temple's maze, he and Knuckles run from a giant spiked metal ball rolling at them, a la Indiana Jones] I do not want to die like this; it's derivative!

View Quote [After dodging more booby traps in the Emerald temple's maze] I have solved it: there is a booby trap every seven seco-- [Just as he says 'seconds', a giant axe swings down right in front of Robotnik, just brushing against his mustache, and then imbeds itself into the wall] That was a little early. [Briefly looks down, then exhales with relief] So glad it didn't cut off my...mustache.

View Quote [doing commentary on Sonic and Knuckles' fight] The echidna's taking no prisoners today! Sonic has heart, but will he lose the "quill" to live?

View Quote Hedgehog, it's time to say goodbye to humanity.

View Quote [last words as he falls from his robot to his supposed death] Oh, it's like that? Okay, we're not friends! Later, hater!

View Quote Welcome to the new norm!

View Quote World domination playlist.

View Quote [regarding Sonic] Like a blister, he keeps coming back!

View Quote [to Stone] You might want to ground yourself.

View Quote [Sonic redirects a missile back to Robotnik's robot, hitting it in its knee. The impact jolts the robot to where Stone is slammed against the wall and knocked out] Stone? Oh, great. Next thing you know, there will be a report about a hostile work environment!

View Quote Dr. Robotnik: Thank you, Stone! It's time to say goodbye to this... piece of shiitake planet!
[Robotnik licks Sonic's quill, electrocuting himself again before making a beeline for the ring portal in slow motion. However, he stops at the sight of a silhouette of a creature, then gasps as he stops in his tracks falling on his back as we see the creature's hand, encased in a massive white boxing glove-like with twin spikes. In a close-up of its face, the creature reveals itself to be Knuckles, a red anthropomorphic echidna, marching right up to him with his purple eyes glowing red. He walks up to Robotnik while noticing Sonic's quill in his hand]
Knuckles: Where did you get that?
Robotnik: [looks to Sonic's quill in his hand and swiftly lifts it in between their faces] From a little blue menace on a planet called Earth. [Knuckles looks at him sternly] I'd be happy to show you the way.

View Quote [As a taser cuts off the knob of the door, Sonic flinches, then looks wide-eyed as the door opens, revealing Robotnik]
Sonic: [shocked] Eggman?
Robotnik: [blows out the taser like a candle, then faces Sonic] Hello, hedgehog! Did you miss me?
Sonic: I don't know how you got back, but you made a big mistake coming here.
Robotnik: Au contraire, mon frere. The mistake was thinking that you've won. But that was just a prelude, an hors d'oeuvre, an aperitif, an Amuse-bouche–
Sonic: I get it.
Robotnik: [chuckles as he walks forward waving a finger] I don't think you do, but you're about to, and so will that idiot sheriff and his wife. [Sonic makes a fist with blue energy building up] And your little dog, too!
[Sonic rushes up, and time slows as he prepares to punch Robotnik in the face, but Robotnik himself backs away to reveal Knuckles leaping right at Sonic. Time goes back to normal as he punches him right through a wall, destroying the TV. Sonic lays on the couch dazed, as he looks through the wall to see Knuckles looking right at him]
Knuckles: Pitiful. [walks through the hallways as Sonic gets up]
Sonic: What? Who are you?
Robotnik: [sticks his head through the hole] Where... are my manners? [walks through the hallway and stands right behind Knuckles] Sonic, meet Knuckles. My new BFF-A-E. Best friend forever and ever!
Sonic: [gets on the floor and gets his bag of rings as he wears it like a strapped backpack] Look, Robotnik, I don't care who you bring to help you. You're never going to get my power.
Knuckles: Do I look like I need your power?
[Sonic starts glowing blue and rushes at Knuckles, but he hits faster, landing a blow that sends his rival through the wall, outside of the house. Knuckles leaps through the hole, and bashes his fists together, sparking red electricity. Robotnik walks out with the bowl of popcorn Sonic had before]
Robotnik: So nice when diabolical evil lives up to the hype!
Knuckles: [demanding] Where is it?
Sonic: Oh, you want it? [wipes dirt off his face; starts glowing blue] Here it comes.
Knuckles: I was expecting more of a challenge. You're unskilled. Untrained. And UNWORTHY!
[Robotnik eats a piece of popcorn]
Sonic: You forgot one... unstoppable.

View Quote Robotnik: [after Knuckles says that the world will know what he and Robotnik have accomplished] Such a lovely sentiment Knuckles. I think I felt a tear in my eye. [wipes it] Unfortunately, [uses his index and pinky finger like a taser, ready to attack Knuckles] you're about as useful to me as a backstage pass to Limp Bizkit.
[Sonic crashes through the ceiling of the Master Emerald's chamber, behind Robotnik and Knuckles, poison darts stuck in his quills]
Sonic: [coughs] Nailed it. [a giant mace ball lands right behind him]
Robotnik: This guy is always trying to spoil a bad thing!
Sonic: Oh, you guys are here too? [he shakes the darts off of his head] Took the long way, huh?
Knuckles: Is everything a joke to you? Why must you constantly interfere with my destiny?
Sonic: Because my destiny is to protect my friends and family!
Robotnik: I think I just threw up in my mouth.
Sonic: And if you want the emerald, you're gonna have to go. Through. Me!
[As Robotnik gulps, Sonic races upstairs towards the Emerald. Robotnik jumps back with amazement. Knuckles zooms up. Sonic and Knuckles collide with blue and red electricity. Sonic punches Knuckles in the face 3 times, Knuckles punches him back. Sonic punches him again. Knuckles tries to punch Sonic again, but he blocks it with a kick. They push each other off, but Sonic lands on the wall and charges at Knuckles, Successfully punching him hard in the stomach and sending him flying.]
Robotnik: [doing commentary on Sonic and Knuckles' fight] The echidna's taking no prisoners today! Sonic has heart, but will he lose the "quill" to live?
Sonic: [after Knuckles lands on the ground] I don't wanna fight you, but you're not giving me much choice! [goes to kick Knuckles, but the echidna punches him through a waterfall]
Knuckles: [grunts] Too easy. Let's do this. [starts to walk up the stairs to the emerald, and stops when he notices something blue. The ground breaks, making Knuckles trip backward. Sonic runs up the wall and stops on the roof. He charges up a spindash and slams Knuckles repeatedly into the ground 3 times. Sonic slams his rival really hard one last time. Knuckles springs back up and rapidly tries to punch him] Why don't you stand still and die... with honor?!
Sonic: Let me think about it. Okay, I thought about it and... I PASS!!

View Quote Knuckles: [as he goes to crush Sonic with a large rock] Say goodbye, hedgehog.
Sonic: [gapes as he spots Robotnik] Knuckles, stop. Robotnik is stealing the emerald.
Knuckles: What kind of fool do you take me for?
Sonic: Just look! [Knuckles looks over his shoulder to watch Robotnik reach out to the emerald]
Robotnik: Mine. [goes to grab the emerald, but stops to look over at Knuckles]
Knuckles: Wait! That wasn't the deal. [drops the rock as Sonic stands up, while holding his arm in pain]
Robotnik: Oh, you poor, naive creature. It's not your fault. A more advanced intellect would've seen this move coming a mile away, or 1.6 kilometers.
Knuckles: But I trusted you! You were my friend!
Robotnik: [laughs, pretends to cry, then laughs again kind of like the Grinch] Sorry. That just hit me funny. Let this be my final to you, you dimwitted celestial skin tag. Friends are open, honest and vulnerable with each other, which means X square times the hypotenuse of Y square divided by the absolute power of friendship equals... DOOKIE!
Sonic: Oh, no!
[Robotnik grabs hold of the Emerald and a wave of green energy surrounds him. The force knocks Sonic and Knuckles off of their feet]
Emerald Eggman: Chaos... is... power!
[With his jacket turned black and the lenses on his goggles and the trim turned green, Robotnik and the emerald disappear. The whole temple starts to collapse]