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Fletcher Reede quotes

I'm so glad my gift could bring them closer together. My plan to completely phase myself out is almost complete!

Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, "Hit me again, Ike, and put some stank on it!"? Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be. But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message? [yells] Wake up, sisters! There is nooooooo such thing as a weaker sex!

[To his ex-wife's partner] Jerry? Enjoy my wife? Eh? Ahhh! [nods knowingly]

[Leaving a lift full of people grimacing] It was me!

Oh God, how am I going to get out of this? Think...Think [bashes his head on the wall] Oww-ee [he thinks] Oww-ee! [proceeds to beat himself up]

What is WRONG with me? I'm getting what I deserve. I'm reaping what I sow. I'm...

[After being tossed out of the office following sexual encouter] I've had better!?

The pen is blue! The pen is blue! The Goddamn pen is blue!

Why don't you go play in the office a minute. Sue someone for everything they've got. Maybe you send a fax to one of your girlfriends!

The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant.

Audrey, good news, both my legs are broken so they can't take me straight to jail.

(Shouting at a client on the phone) Stop breaking the law, asshole!

I CAN'T LIE!!!!!

*holding a blue pen* The color of the pen is re-, the color of the pen is re-... THE COLOR OF THE PEN THAT I HOLD IN MY HAND IS RE- ROYAL BLUE!

I'm kicking my ass, d'ya mind?!

I'm on my knees in a nine hundred dollar suit!

It's... THE CLAW!!!

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