Mr. Popper [to Nat, hitting him with the leash]
Why are you hitting yourself, huh? Why are you hitting yourself? That's not attractive for a zoo official.
Most-quoted character in Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011): in 10 of its 12 quotes
Most scenes with: Pippi Pepenopolis (3)
That's not cute.
More lines from Mr. Popper
3 quotes Mr. Popper Mr. Popper Could you pass the salt? I'll get it.
Mr. Popper When did I ever disappoint anybody?
Scenes with Mr. Popper
6 scenes
[to receptionist]
Pippi Pepennopolis; I'm Mr. Popper's personal assistant. I process his paper and procure his periodicals.
Mr. Popper [Aside, to receptionist]
She doesn't even know she's doing it.
Pardon?
Mr. Popper Nothing.
Mr. Popper I'm not coming in to work again today.
Pourquoi?
Mr. Popper I have a pest problem.
What particular pest is the problem?
Mr. Popper It's a penguin.
Penguin?
Mr. Popper Yeah! It starts with "p"; you ought to be able to handle it.
Per your predicament, I printed a pertinent page from Wikipedia. [Reads] "Gentoo penguins may periodically imprint on a particular person as if they were a penguin. Once imprinted, they remain permanently proximate to their parental proxy."
Mr. Popper Is it actually written that way?
I'm paraphrasing.
Mr. Popper Hello! I have to send the penguins back.
Voice of Antarctic Friend
Send-da-penguin?
Mr. Popper Yes, send penguins.
Mr. Popper You are falling asleep.
Amanda
No I'm not.
Mr. Popper Hmm, that must be me.
Amanda
You really should go to bed.
Mr. Popper Uh-uh, I'm not leaving him, he's a Popper.
Mr. Popper Where are my penguins?!
Nat Jones
Listen, sir, I'm gonna have to call you right back. They're not your penguins, Mr. Popper.
Mr. Popper Don't give us that runaround, slick. Why aren't my penguins out there?
Nat Jones
Because we already have penguins. What we don't have is an emu. Or a Komodo dragon. Or a Bengal tiger.
Mr. Popper What are you talking about, hmm?
Nat Jones
Trading, Mr. Popper. Zoos do it all the time. Same thing with sports teams. And how do you think the New York Yankees won 27 of their championships? It sure wasn't their farming system.
Amanda
All right, where are you sending them?
Nat Jones
I'm sending three to Washington and three to Tokyo and the two penguin chicks are going all the way to Dubai.
Janie
But you can't split them up. They're a family.
Nat Jones
For God's sake! They're just birds.
Mr. Popper Just birds? Okay, and what about the American bald eagle? Is that just a bird?
Nat Jones
Yes.
Mr. Popper Okay, and what about... No, Big Bird is a Muppet. Look, can my family just see them for once? My family is all torn up about it and my kids are distraught, right, Billy?
Billy
Please, sir, can we just say goodbye?
Nat Jones
No.
Mr. Popper Children, this is what a liar looks like. Take a mental picture.
Nat Jones
Look, Popper, I couldn't even if I wanted to. They're already gone.
Other characters in Mr. Popper's Penguins
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Fletcher Reede
Charlie Baileygates/Hank Evans
Lloyd
Bruce
Stanley Ipkiss/The Mask
Ace Ventura
Carl Allen