Steve Buscemi movie quotes

View Quote [rubs his middle finger and thumb against each other] You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.

View Quote I don't wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you're standing in my way, one way or the other, you're gettin' outta my way.

View Quote Where's the commode in this dungeon? I gotta take a squirt.

View Quote Keep it still back there, lady, or else we're gonna have to, ya know, to shoot ya.

View Quote Stay away from me, man! Hey, go smoke a ****in' peace pipe!

View Quote You should have seen the other guy

View Quote We were talking about Stalingrad, how cold it was, and we would do anything, anything, to warm ourselves up. We would throw live grenades to each other. Pull the pin, throw it to the prisoners. They'd be jumping around like drunken whores.

View Quote When you go home, make sure your wife writes down everything you think you said tonight. Alright? This way, in the morning you know what you're dealing with. It's Krushchev's law.

View Quote [sobbing over Stalin's body] He's on the floor! He's on the **** floor!

View Quote Get off my lawn!

View Quote Honey, I'm home.

View Quote I know you can do it.

View Quote Hey, kids! Reel it in! You're only supposed to make Mom and Dad miserable!

View Quote Couldn't wait for this weekend. Always good to be out of the shadows for a couple days.

View Quote [pranking Griffin by pulling down his swimsuit] Kids, why'd you do that?

View Quote We're gonna launch a brand new puppy in every continent. In every country! We're going to take over the world, one heart at a time. Imagine a puppy that never grows up, never gets old. A puppy that stays a puppy forever. I give you the only thing you'll ever love, the Forever Puppy!

View Quote And we are on schedule to release the most adorable puppy ever. We're gonna launch it at the pet convention in Las Vegas! Watch out, world! It's gonna crush the competition!

View Quote I'm launching my Forever Puppies, and there's nothing you can do about it!

View Quote Guess what guys, it's time to embrace the horror! Look, we've got front row tickets to the end of the earth!

View Quote You wanna compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12. Big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22. Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princeton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, okay?

View Quote We're staying, we're going, we're staying, we're going, make up your mind!

View Quote Now, are you spies... or just incompetent lackeys?

View Quote Enough! Two options for you! One: We slowly dismantle each of you, one bolt and screw at a time, and really make sure you feel it. Or two: In exchange for a quick death, you give us intel on the Energon trains, access to the mines or anything else that could hurt your boss, Sentinel Prime!

View Quote The yellow annoying one is correct. We were once the High Guard. We witnessed Sentinel's betrayal, saw the Primes fall. Since that day, we've been fighting from the shadows, doing whatever we can to sabotage Sentinel.

View Quote Hi, my name is Cornell. I'm a drug addict, alcoholic, compulsive gambler-slash-liar.

View Quote I like those spider plants, but whatever turns you on.

View Quote Hey, listen. This isn't the last lousy day you're going to have here.

View Quote Now, I wasn't interested in his drink. Nope, I was more interested in what he was carrying when he walked in. Some sort of a suitcase, kind of heavy. He sat that thing on the stool beside him as if it were his girl.

View Quote [To El Mariachi] You know, one of these days you're gonna lie down too hard on that bed and blow your brains out.

View Quote Buscemi: Then I mentioned the guitar case. Suddenly they got really interested in who you were. So I laid the story down nice and thick.
El Mariachi: How thick?
Buscemi: Well, pretty thick.

View Quote [after whacking Sulley with a scream canister] You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, Sullivan!

View Quote Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? (Pause) It's the winds of change.

View Quote I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. Gonna be doing some serious scarin', puttin' up some big numbers.

View Quote Drac always does this. I always hate getting caught between him and Mavis.

View Quote I miss being Walter.

View Quote This is hard to watch.

View Quote Templeton: [repeated line] The Rat rules!

View Quote Charlotte A. Cavatica: Templeton, haven't you ever heard that good things come to those who wait?
Templeton: No. Good things come to those who find it and shove it in their mouth!

View Quote Templeton: Look at her! Don't you think she's a little... uh... what's the word? EW!
Wilbur: I think she's beautiful.

View Quote We don't need to kill anymore. We have Pop-Tarts.

View Quote [fighting with Drac, who is trying to pull a Frisbee out of his mouth] No! It's my Frisbee! I fetched it!

View Quote [teaching a man how to play tennis] Okay, so, what you wanna do is lift the racket right on impact, so you get that nice top spin. Try and hit one.

View Quote Just cause people wanna eat the burger doesn't mean they wanna meet the cow.

View Quote You're not real. You're copies of people out here in the world.

View Quote McCord: Man, why do I gotta be the guy tells the kids there's no Santa Claus? OK, look. You're...Well, you're not like me. I mean, you're not... human. I mean, you're human, but you just, you're not real. You're not, like, a real person. Like me. You're clones. You're copies of people out here in the world.

View Quote Automated Announcement: Proceed to the nearest evacuation facility. Proceed to the nearest evacuation facility.
Neil: I think we should proceed to the nearest evacuation facility.

View Quote Jane: What's with her?
Ryan: What's with her and the captain?
Neil: What's with her and that stupid plant? [Jane and Ryan glare at him] What?

View Quote Ryan: Oh, please! Tell me we're not risking our necks for this plant!
Jane: I wouldn't even call it a plant. It's a weed.
Neil: I wouldn't even call it a weed.

View Quote Deeds: Crazy Eyes.
Crazy Eyes: Hey, Deeds.
Deeds: How you doin', pal? I got your pizza for you, just the way you like it.
Crazy Eyes: Oh, yes. French Fries and Oreos, you know me all too well, Deeds.

View Quote Murph: Hey, look, Deedsy is hanging out with McEnroe!
Crazy Eyes: I love The Beach Boys.

View Quote [last lines]
Crazy Eyes: [drives his new Corvette] Damn, these things are fast!
[he floors it and crashes into a tree]
Crazy Eyes: I'm okay! [laughs] I'm okay!

View Quote Donny: I am the Walrus.

View Quote Donny: Phone's ringing Dude.

View Quote Donny: I'm throwin' rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude.

View Quote Seymour: So, was that your boyfriend?
Enid: Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend. He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.

View Quote Enid: You know what my number-one fantasy used to be?
Seymour: What?
Enid: I used to think about one day, just not telling anyone and going off to some random place. And I'd just... disappear. And they'd never see me again. Do you ever think about stuff like that?
Seymour: I guess I probably did when I was your age.
Enid: You know what we should do? We should just get in your car right now and just drive off. Just find some totally new place and start a whole new life. **** everybody.
Seymour: I'm, uh, I'm not in any good condition to drive.
Enid: I'm serious! I'm just so sick of everybody. Why can't I just do what I want?
Seymour: What do you want?
Enid: What do you want? [a pause. They look into each other's eyes] Don't you like me?

View Quote [Seymour is trying to interest a fellow collector in a record he's selling]
Paul: It has a large center hole and a hair crack.
Seymour: But the crack is so tight, it's completely inaudible.
Paul: But a tight hair crack is just that—a crack. I don't collect cracked records. I only pay premium on mint records. Seymour, you know that. Please.
[Paul walks away. Enid, who has been listening, goes up to Seymour]
Enid: So, what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?

View Quote Dr. Romero: [about his creatures] They've tried to gobble me up on more than one occasion! Why do they despise me so? I created them. [looking thoughtful] Do you think... God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created, here on Earth? [sees Carmen and Juni giving him odd looks] Stop looking at me like that! I'm no loon!

View Quote Donnagon Giggles: Where'd it go?
Dr. Romero: I don't know.
[gets nudged by Donnagon's Magna Men]
Dr. Romero: The Spork took it.

View Quote Carmen: We're kids, not monsters.
Dr. Romero: What's the difference?

View Quote Kids Club? [to his wife] What's a kids club?

View Quote [The monsters are all gathered for Carl and Lucy's wedding to start while waiting impatiently]
Wayne: [stuffing pacifiers into his werewolf babies' mouths to keep them from crying] Oh, when is this thing starting?
[The werewolf babies spit out their pacifiers and resume crying]
Frank: Aw, you made them cry, Wayne. [gestures to Sunny, who still remains smiling] All except this little one. Coochie-coochie…
Wayne: That's Sunny. She doesn't cry. [Sunny bites off Frank's finger] She bites.
Dracula and Mavis: Dennis!
Griffin: (screaming)

View Quote Your dad was a hero, and heroes are necessary, and they should be allowed to have families.

View Quote [Papa and Ray are watching Scott wash a fire truck. Papa keeps a straight face while Ray looks at Scott with distain and skepticism]
Papa: [To Ray] He's doin' a good job.
Ray: [Scoffs] He knows how to wash a truck. Getting ready for his career working at a car wash.
Papa: Are you ever gonna give this kid a break or what?
Ray: I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Papa: Do nothing. Were you on the job when Stan was killed?
Ray: Yeah, you know I was.
Papa: What's the first thing you thought of when you heard?
Ray: [After a brief pause] I...I wondered if he had kids.
[Papa looks over at Scott]
Scott: Why do I have to clean this thing anyway? It's just gonna get fire on it. Do you think the people that are burning alive give a **** if the truck is shiny? I'm just saying. I don't even know why I have to clean the truck. What, are you trying to show up all sexy to a fire?
Papa: [Smiles; to Ray] I like him.

View Quote Look at that tree. Look at that **** tree! The same age as my son!