Wayne Couldn't wait for this weekend. Always good to be out of the shadows for a couple days.
4th most-quoted character in Hotel Transylvania (2012): in 13 of its 62 quotes
Most scenes with: Count Dracula (6), Griffin (4), Murray (4)
Hey, kids! Reel it in! You're only supposed to make Mom and Dad miserable!
More lines from Wayne
5 quotes Wayne Wayne [pranking Griffin by pulling down his swimsuit]
Kids, why'd you do that?
Wayne I did not order a wake-up call.
Wayne Where is the snooze button?!
Wayne You want me to track the smell? No, no. My sniffing tracking days are way behind me. Do you know how many diapers I have changed? How many number twos have destroyed this thing?
Scenes with Wayne
7 scenes
Frankenstein's Monster
Drac.
Yes, Frankie?
Hey, buddy, what you been doing?
Wayne We wanted to practice our big number for Mavis' party, and then these losers wouldn't get off the bandstand.
Okay. Put down Zombie Mozart, Bach and Beethoven this instant. [Frank and Wayne throw them] Did you get to rehearse at all, Zombie Beethoven?
Zombie Beethoven
Eh eh eh eh.
Wayne Listen, Drac, we wanted to play something, like old times. We even thought maybe you'd sing with us.
Come on, fellas. You know that I haven't sung in public since Martha…
Yeah, but we just thought how much, you know, Mavis would love it.
I said, no! [roars with his monster face] Don't ask me again! Okay. Now, let's hug the zombies. Let's all make up.
Wayne [to Frank]
Wow, he really scared you.
Frank(ie)
I wasn't scared. I was being polite, okay?
Frankie
[Frank spots Johnny and threateningly advances toward him, and Drac gets in his way] [points at Johnny]
Who is that?
Huh? That's kinda racist.
We'll talk later.
No, no! Of course not, because he's... [stops Johnny from imitating]
He's your cousin, Johnny-stein.
I don't have no cousin.
No, no, you do. He's your 6th cousin, 3 times removed.
Frank, if your arm can talk, it would tell you that the original owner of your arm had a brother...
...Who married a woman...
...Who was... [makes killing gesture]
...For strangling a pig.
I have pig strangling blood in my arm!? That's kinda cool. [to Johnny] Well, Cuz, great to meetcha. [shakes Johnny's hand, but his whole body's shaken multiple times hitting the floor]
Oh, sorry. I should really clear my throat before I speak. (And yes, I am, but... call me "Griffin".) Anyway, what brings you here?
[playing along]
Yes! I've recruited Mister, uh... Stein here to help me with Mavis' birthday party.
Wait a minute. You asked someone to help you?
Wayne Captain Control Freak?
It's "Count"… and yes, I thought having a Mavis contemporary would be useful.
Yeah, he totally needed a fresher perspective. [Dracula glares at him]
Wayne Okay, Johnny. Mr. Tight Coffin over here was planning to have these powdered lame-o's play at the party.
Whoa! You all play? Let's check you guys out!
[Griffin is playing the drums] [singing]
Seems like only yesterday, you were eating mosquitos
All
[singing]
But now your eating frogs and mice
All
[singing]
Tell me, where did the time go, girl?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, guys. Stop. That's cute, but kinda old school.
Yes, thank you, Johnny.
You got to totally tempo things up. Here let me show you. Werewolf man, give me a jam! [Wayne gives him a "jam".] 2, 3, 4! [singing] Vampire girl with the fangy fangsHair real cute with the bangy bangsLittle princess gonna be a queenLegal bat lady turning 118, say 118!
Audience
118!
Yeah! Stage dive! [stage dives to the floor] Awesome!
I'm so blown away right now!
I think my cuz is gonna make this the best party ever!
Yeah! Maybe he can find a way to get me some chicks.
Audience
We should do a dance contest.
We're not doing any of that! We've got to stay on schedule, alright?
I don't know. Is it cool with Dracula?
All
Johnny, come with us.
Wayne [Drac and his friends are relaxing in the sauna talking to each other]
When's that Johnny kid gonna be done party planning? He's a great hang.
Yeah, he's an animal, and it was so nice seeing Mavis laughing and hitting it off with him.
I'm sorry. "His kind"? Are you saying our kind's not good enough for you, "your lordship"?
No, no, no! Frank, I didn't... I meant that she wouldn't be into someone with... uh... such, red, curly hair.
Why are you getting upset?
Well, how was I supposed to know that?! [in a later scene; nervous] Look, settle down, fellas. This is all a moot point, because Johnny... He left.
Yes! He decided he didn't like Mavis, or any of us.
[falls through the roof after having a romantic scene with Mavis, and lands on Drac's lap; Drac is scared at first, then gives him an angry glare; smiles nervously]
Hi…
Hmm. I guess Johnny had second thoughts.
[Wayne, Wanda, and the werewolf kids are asleep in their room. Wanda is sleeping soundly, while Wayne is just lying there with bloodshot eyes. He is surrounded by his children, who prevent him from getting proper rest by sleeping on top of him. Wayne starts to close his eyes slowly. Suddenly, the skull phone on the nightstand starts screaming, acting as an alarm. Wayne's bloodshot eyes open instantly. The werewolf kids howl and fall off of Wayne as he sits up to answer the phone]
Wayne I didn't order a wake-up call.
Woman on the phone
Count Dracula arranged it for all the rooms.
Wayne [hangs up and drowsily lays to his side, but the phone starts screaming once again; as he keeps lifting and putting the phone on and off the hook]
Where's the snooze button?!
Skull phone
There will be no snoozing. The party is today. [continues screaming]
[Wayne clenches his ears.]
Wayne [Wayne has just summoned the werewolf kids to come to the monkeys at the car and help them track down Jonathan. The pups swarm the area on a rampage, Wayne tries to control them]
Sit! [holds up Johnny's shirt] Smell. I said, smell. [2 pups smell his butt] Not me, the shirt! The shirt!
Do any of your kids still respect you?
Wayne Mm. Give me a second. Oh, yeah. Winnie, front and center!
Winnie
[The werewolf kids are roughhousing with each other and stop abruptly to let Winnie pass through. Once she goes, they go back to their fight. Winnie spits out her pacifier and then deeply takes a whiff of Johnny's shirt] [sniffing]
He got into a car - an '86 Fiat. It needs a little transmission work, but otherwise, okay. It drove through town to the airport, flight 497… 8:00 a.m. departure.
That's in 15 minutes!
Winnie
[sniffing]
Seat 23A. He ordered the vegetarian meal.
Okay. Thank you, cutie. (We'll take it from here, alright?) [to all the other wolf pups] Now, all of you, go back to your mother!
[Drac and his friends are driving to the human world to get Johnny back, but they soon run into a lone sheep blocking the road]
Sheep!
[quickly twists the wheel in panic and the car runs off the road, crashing down the hill until it reaches a small mountain freeway]
Whoo! High-5! Don't leave me hangin'.
All
[sees a flock of more sheep up ahead, freaking out]
Aah! [Griffin stops the car]
Lots of sheep!
Wayne I got this one! [gets out of the car, devours the whole flock of sheep in 2 seconds, then comes back in the car, belching a tuft of wool out; The others, looking horrified at the sight, give Wayne a disgusted glare] What? Now there's no sheep in the road. Let's go!
Wayne You eat lamb chops, it's the same thing! We don't have time for this! Come on, let's move it! [they all drive off]
[Drac brings Frank, Murray, Wayne, and Griffin along to find Johnny and bring him back before he flies back to America.]
Okay, okay, where am I going?
The human world, before Johnny's gone forever.
But what about the sun?
Wayne He just rolls. Rollabilty.
So we follow his boot-prints. When they run out, that's where you come in, Wayne.
Wayne [baffled]
Me?
There! [picks up Johnny's shirt from the ground and smells it; disgusted] That stinks! [gives the shirt to Wayne] (Here, Wayne.) Work your magic.
Wayne Wait, you want me to track the smell? No, no. My sniffing tracking days are way behind me. Do you know how many diapers I've changed? How many number twos have destroyed this thing? But… [whistles and summons his werewolf kids to come to them; trying to get them under control while they roughhouse] Sit! [takes Johnny's shirt from Drac's hand and holds it up] Smell. I said, smell. [Two pups come up behind him and smell his butt.] Not me, the shirt! The shirt!
Do any of your kids still respect you?
Wayne Mm. Give me a second. Oh, yeah. Winnie, front and center!
Winnie
[The werewolf kids are still roughhousing with each other and stop abruptly to let Winnie pass through. Once she goes, they go back to their fight.] [spits out her pacifier and then deeply takes a whiff of Johnny's shirt]
He got into a car, an '86 Fiat. It needs a little transmission work, but otherwise, okay. It drove through town to the airport. Flight 497. 8:00 a.m. departure.
That's in 15 minutes!
Winnie
[sniffing]
Seat 23A. He ordered the vegetarian meal.
Okay. Thank you, cutie. [to all the other wolf pups] Now, all of you, go back to your mother!
Other characters in Hotel Transylvania
More Steve Buscemi characters
Mr. Pink
Carl Showalter
Nikita Khrushchev
Horace Nebbercracker
Francis Francis
Rockhound
Starscream
Cornell Shaw