Mr. Deeds (2002) · 23 quotes
Most-quoted character in Mr. Deeds (2002): in 14 of its 23 quotes
Most scenes with: Emilio (3), Babe (2), Crazy Eyes (2)
Ma'am, you were just the victim of a New York City mugger. As I suspected, he was a coward and a weakling, and also wore more cologne than any man should wear.
Deeds You climbed mountains and built skyscrapers.
You made TV shows and put out newspapers.
You were wicked good at doing stocks.
You liked it when Emilio would change your socks.
We never hung out and that makes me sad.
All the good times we could've had.
But when I die, Uncle Preston, you better say "Cheers".
Cause when me and you are hanging at the pearly gates, I'll bring the beers. I'll bring the beers.
Nice rhyme, nice rhyme.
Deeds You guys football fans? I think the Pats could take the conference this year. I mean, the Dolphins are overrated and the Jets are choke artists.
I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds.
Deeds Just Deeds. Why's that, though?
You own the Jets, Deeds.
Deeds I do?! Whoa! That sucks. Jeez. I hope they don't play the Pats in the playoffs, or I'll have to kill myself.
How can I thank you?
Deeds All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.
Deeds! How about a billion dollars?
Deeds All right.
Done.
Deeds Whoa, you kinda snuck up on me there...
I am very very sneaky, sir.
The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever.
Deeds Oh, yeah. I've heard that before.
Deeds What are you in for?
Eh, I'm doin' an overnighter for bitin' the mailman.
Deeds You sure about that?
I don't know, maybe he was just wavin'.
Deeds This is Chuck and Cecil, they're visiting from New York.
I don't like 'em.
Deeds Okay, then.
Deeds Crazy Eyes.
Hey, Deeds.
Deeds How you doin', pal? I got your pizza for you, just the way you like it.
Oh, yes. French Fries and Oreos, you know me all too well, Deeds.
McEnroe I like the way you beat up those guys who were making fun of you. It was pretty cool.
Deeds Yeah I bet you know what it's like to get all riled up, Johnny Mac.
McEnroe That I do.
Coretta I'm not leaving without me kitties.
Deeds How many cats do you have?
Coretta 7.
Deeds Holy shit. Lets get cracking. I apologize for the language.
Coretta Apology accepted.
Oh, you have got to be shittin' me.
Deeds Whoa... that's the first time I've heard you curse.
I'm that excited.
Now Brother Preston is soaring with eagles high above,
because he lived a life of love.
Yes, he's flying way up high,
because he was a supercool guy.
He's gone away too soon, it seems,
leaving behind his unfinished dreams.
Deeds This guy could make a fortune writing greeting cards.
Yes, we remember Preston Blake.
A man with faith no man could shake.
A strength no man could break.
A character no man could fake.
For goodness sake, let's eat some cake.
Amen.
Deeds Amen!
Deeds So how is the elevator business treating you, Reuben?
Reuben Oh, it has its ups and downs.
[both laugh]
Hard to breathe, feels like floating.
So full of love, my heart's exploding.
Mouth is dry, hands are shaking.
My heart is yours for the taking.
Acting weird, not myself.
Dancing around like the Keebler elf.
Finally time, for this poor schlub
to know how it feels, to fall in lub.
Deeds I couldn't think of anything else that rhymes with schlub. Rub and tub didn't work.
