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Billy Madison quotes

View Quote I can see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words... I'm deaf! Oh, Veronica Vaughn... Sooo hot... Want to touch the hiney... Ruff!
View Quote It's nudey magazine day!
View Quote He called the shit poop!
View Quote Well, I could think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would involve a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
View Quote Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his pupppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits? You get your ass out there, and you find that ****ing dog!
View Quote Well, I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and, to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.
View Quote That's QUACKTASTIC!
View Quote Actually, I got this shirt from Frank.
View Quote Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?
View Quote JUST DO IT!
View Quote You know I like Snack pack, why can't you just give me the snack pack?
View Quote, Junior!
View Quote Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.
View Quote Shampoo is better; I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better; I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! [He notices a gold swan on the edge of the bathtub.] Stop looking at me, swan!
View Quote [Billy after he hallucinates and sees the penguin at Veronica's house][drunkenly]Oh. I see how it is. So sorry to interrupt!
View Quote You ain't cool, unless, you pee your pants. All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.
View Quote ( after Ernie hangs up the phone ) YOU BLEW IT!
View Quote Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!
View Quote I choose Business Ethics.
View Quote [Menacingly] O'Doyle, I think you and your family are headed for a big fall... [Chirpy] but right now, I gotta study.
View Quote Eric is pregnant!! Congratulations Big Fella!!! He's gonna be a soccer player! Yes he is! Yes he ii-iiiis.
View Quote Er Dad do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit in the room?
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