Billy Madison quotes

32 total quotes

Billy Madison
Clown
Game show host
O'Doyle Family

View Quote ( after Ernie hangs up the phone ) YOU BLEW IT!

View Quote 3rd Grader: Hey, look everybody! Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants! Everyone my age pees their pants; it's the coolest!
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES! You ain't cool...unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey, look! Ernie peed his pants, too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH! That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go.

View Quote 3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl
Billy Madison: Kid can't even read.
Ernie: Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.
Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY, JUNIOR!

View Quote Billy Madison: You want some of this milk?
Veronica Vaughn: That milk belongs to that classroom.
Billy Madison: But they don't gots to know about it. It could be our milk.
Veronica Vaughn: No milk will ever be our milk.
Billy Madison: Now that wasn't very nice. How 'bout you Sideburns? You want some of this milk?
Janitor: I'd rather have a beer.

View Quote Billy Madison:(Faking sickness so he can skive off of school. He lays in bed with a mouth thermometer he heated with his desk-lamp) I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.
Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison:(Sounding disgusted) Oh, my God, I'll go to school.

View Quote Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ace. I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean.
Billy Madison: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know...Him and her *got it on*! Wooo-eee!
Billy Madison: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no, they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, huh?

View Quote Lunch Lady: Here ya go! Have some more Sloppy joes. I made'em EXTRA sloppy for ya's; I know you's kids like 'em sloppy.
[The lunch lady laughs evilly.]
Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us!

View Quote O'Doyle: Mortal Kombat for the Sega Genesis is the best game ever made.
Billy Madison: I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is better.
O'Doyle: Donkey Kong sucks!
Billy Madison: Wanna know somethin'? You suck!

View Quote [Menacingly] O'Doyle, I think you and your family are headed for a big fall... [Chirpy] but right now, I gotta study.

View Quote Actually, I got this shirt from Frank.

View Quote Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

View Quote Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!

View Quote Er Dad do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit in the room?

View Quote Eric is pregnant!! Congratulations Big Fella!!! He's gonna be a soccer player! Yes he is! Yes he ii-iiiis.

View Quote He called the shit poop!