2nd most-quoted character in Billy Madison (1995): in 10 of its 71 quotes
Most scenes with: Billy Madison (6), Dan (3)
Veronica Good morning, class.
Good morning, Miss Vaughan.
Veronica We're going to start today by reading together a short story entitled "My Sister Fanny". [the class laughs] Quiet. So let's all open our "Reading Is Fun" books to page sixty nine.
Sixty nine! [laughs]
Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl...who wa-a-an-
Pffft! Kid can't even read.
Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.
An air-air-air-p-p-p-p-plane f-f-flying t-t-t...
T-T-T-Today, Junior! Ha-ha-ha! [Veronica sends him out of the classroom, the kids laugh; overreacting dramatically] OW! YOU'RE TEARING MY EAR OFF!
Veronica Making fun of a little kid trying to read! Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?
I'm sorry I can't hear you, I've been physically abused in the ear.
Veronica You keep your mouth shut for the next two weeks or I'm gonna fail you. End of story. [leaves]
I see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words. I'm deaf! Ohh, Veronica Vaughn. Soooo hot! Want to touch the hiney! [howls]
Bunt. B-U-N-T, in perfect cursive. Any more brain busters?
Veronica "Rizzuto"? [Billy ponders, then writes] "Rirruto"?
Those're Z's.
Veronica They look like R's to me.
That's not fair! Rizzuto's not a word! He's a baseball player! You're cheating!
Veronica ...Then would you like to try the word "buzz"?
I hate cursive and I hate all of you! I'm never coming back to school, NEVER! [runs off]
Hey, I dare you to throw your sandwich at the bus driver. Do it. Come on.
Veronica Hey, who threw that?
I'll turn this damn bus around! That'll end your precious little field trip pretty damn quick, huh?! You little shit! [quivers lips up and down while face gets red]
Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP.
I dare you to touch her boobs.
Touch her boobs? That's assault brotha. You double dare me? [walks down the bus to Veronica] Uhhh Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there's to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.
Veronica Not too long now...
Oh, I'm sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!
Veronica That's alright, Billy, why don't you go back and sit now? [smiling] I double dare you.
Veronica Go back to your seat now.
...I...Yes... [looking embarrassed now]
Veronica Who would steal 30 bagged lunches?
I'll tell you who took those lunches. That damn Sasquatch!
Veronica So it's um, the last day of third grade, and you have the teacher alone in your tent, what do you want to do?
Well I can think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would include a buffalo...
Veronica Really?
...Live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
Veronica You know some people have no will power, no ambition. They just drift through life like lumps of crap!
What is she talkin' about?
Veronica Norman invasion of England.
1066.
Veronica That is correct. [slowly taking her sweater off] The Magna Carta.
1215.
Veronica Yes. [slowly taking her blouse off] Spanish Armada.
1466. [Veronica stops herself] '67. 1469. 1514. 1981? 1986? [Veronica dresses herself again] Please do not do that. Come on, I swear...Just hang in there one second. Please, God, give me the answer!
Veronica You think he's horny? Come here. [they kiss]
