Tied for 8th most-quoted character in Billy Madison (1995): in 3 of its 71 quotes
Most scenes with: Billy Madison (2), Brian (2), Principal Anderson (2)
Okay, alright...Alright, you got it. First Grade through Twelfth Grade all over again. I'll do each grade in two weeks, take the test, re-graduate, prove to you I'm not an idiot, and then I get to take over Madison Hotels.
That's some idea. You just think of that?
Yeah, I did. It's pretty good, huh?
Eric Brian, don't you think the future of Madison Hotels and its sixty one thousand employees is too important to gamble on a game like this?
No. [to Billy] You're on.
Hey, can you tell me where the bathroom is?
Eric Yeah, down the hall, to your right.
Thanks. [about to go to the bathroom]
Eric Hey, tubby, how about a little bathroom reading? [shows him a magazine with a cover of the younger Max dressed in a wrestling outfit] I have the August 1983 issue of Wrestling World here. There's a terrific article about a wrestler named the Revolting Blob. Gee, you know somethin'? He kinda looks like someone I know.
Where'd you get that?
Eric I have a subscription. Bad guy. He threw one opponent out of the ring and hit a bunch of senior citizens. Boy, this wacko looks familiar.
What do I care about some stupid phony wrestling guy?
Eric My God! In June 1983 he sat on some guy's head and killed him.
It was just a stunt! He was supposed to pinch my leg if he was running short of air.
Eric With this guy sitting on everyone's head, I wonder how he got his teaching degree.
Eric So you wouldn't want anything to happen that would make 'em think less of you? [then Max ignores Eric] Max, are you ready to cooperate with me?
Eric Then Madison Hotels is as good as mine!
Eric No.
I know now that I shall never escape my fate as the Revolting Blob.
Eric No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! [angrily throws a stapler, and it hits his secretary, accidentally knocking her out]
It's something I must learn to live with.
Eric Joyce?
What a mess. First, this psycho goes on TV, lies, then retracts it, and now Eric's secretary is in a coma. Carl, has anyone been able to find out anything about this Max guy?
No, sir. He's vanished. Nobody has any idea where he is.
Eric I believed in Billy all along.
Take it easy, Billy. [to Eric] Things were going along great, until this wrestling freak messed things up. Billy should get another shot at high school.
Eric Hey, rules are rules. Billy was supposed to finish each grade within the 2 weeks, or I get the company. He didn't finish 9th grade.
Eric, certainly there are extenuating circumstances.
Eric Extenuating, exshmenuating! We had a deal. A signed, written deal. Each grade, 2 weeks, or I get the company.
Well, technically, you're right, but-
Eric Oh, shut up, Brian! I've had to listen to your jawing for too long. [mimicking Brian] "Well, technically, mmeh-mmeh-mmeh-" [normal voice; loudly] Just SHUT UP! [gets up] Are you ready to hand the company over to me now?
No!
Eric Then I'll see your ass in court.
Good.
Eric Nice talkin' to ya, shitheads. [laughs]
