3rd Grader
Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl
Kid can't even read.
Ernie
Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.
T-T-T-TODAY, JUNIOR!
Played by Jared Cook 
Billy Madison (1995) · 71 quotes
Billy Madison (1995) · 71 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Billy Madison (1995): in 4 of its 71 quotes
Most scenes with: Billy Madison (4), Dan (2)
Scenes with Ernie
4 scenes
[stuttering while reading]
Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl...who wa-a-an-
Pffft! Kid can't even read.
Ernie
Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.
An air-air-air-p-p-p-p-plane f-f-flying t-t-t...
[mock stuttering]
T-T-T-Today, Junior! Ha-ha-ha! [Veronica sends him out of the classroom, the kids laugh; overreacting dramatically] OW! YOU'RE TEARING MY EAR OFF!
[angrily]
Making fun of a little kid trying to read! Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?
I'm sorry I can't hear you, I've been physically abused in the ear.
You keep your mouth shut for the next two weeks or I'm gonna fail you. End of story. [leaves]
I see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words. I'm deaf! Ohh, Veronica Vaughn. Soooo hot! Want to touch the hiney! [howls]
Ernie
[turns around]
I had an accident.
An accident? What's that mean? [notices Ernie wet his pants] GYOO!!!!
Ernie
How's high school Billy?
[lying with a fake smile]
High school is great. I mean I'm learning a lot. And all the kids are treating me very nice. It's great.
Gee, I can't wait till I get to "hike" school.
[whispers]
Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. [grabs Dan's face and shakes him violently] For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.
