Billy Madison (1995) · 71 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Billy Madison (1995): in 4 of its 71 quotes
Most scenes with: Billy Madison (4), Eric (2)
Brian You were brought up with every advantage, I bought you everything. Toys, cars, vacations, clothes...
Actually I, uh, stole this shirt from Frank. [lifts his shirt to show "FRANK" written on the inside]
Brian Yea, well whatever, it's all my fault. I made a mistake. [looks up to see Billy lifting his shirt] What? Are you some damned moron?
Brian Billy, it wasn't just high school. Do you remember that spelling bee you won in the 1st grade?
Oh, no you didn't.
Brian Rock...R-O-K.
Yeah, so what's your point?
Brian R-O-C-K!
The 'C' is silent, ha-ha!
Okay, alright...Alright, you got it. First Grade through Twelfth Grade all over again. I'll do each grade in two weeks, take the test, re-graduate, prove to you I'm not an idiot, and then I get to take over Madison Hotels.
Brian That's some idea. You just think of that?
Yeah, I did. It's pretty good, huh?
Brian, don't you think the future of Madison Hotels and its sixty one thousand employees is too important to gamble on a game like this?
Brian No. [to Billy] You're on.
No.
I know now that I shall never escape my fate as the Revolting Blob.
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! [angrily throws a stapler, and it hits his secretary, accidentally knocking her out]
It's something I must learn to live with.
Brian What a mess. First, this psycho goes on TV, lies, then retracts it, and now Eric's secretary is in a coma. Carl, has anyone been able to find out anything about this Max guy?
No, sir. He's vanished. Nobody has any idea where he is.
Brian Take it easy, Billy. [to Eric] Things were going along great, until this wrestling freak messed things up. Billy should get another shot at high school.
Hey, rules are rules. Billy was supposed to finish each grade within the 2 weeks, or I get the company. He didn't finish 9th grade.
Eric, certainly there are extenuating circumstances.
Extenuating, exshmenuating! We had a deal. A signed, written deal. Each grade, 2 weeks, or I get the company.
Brian Well, technically, you're right, but-
Oh, shut up, Brian! I've had to listen to your jawing for too long. [mimicking Brian] "Well, technically, mmeh-mmeh-mmeh-" [normal voice; loudly] Just SHUT UP! [gets up] Are you ready to hand the company over to me now?
Brian No!
Then I'll see your ass in court.
Brian Good.
Nice talkin' to ya, shitheads. [laughs]
