Sam Brenner Somebody's more important.
Played by Adam Sandler 
Pixels (2015) · 33 quotes
Pixels (2015) · 33 quotes
Most-quoted character in Pixels (2015): in 16 of its 33 quotes
Most scenes with: Will Cooper (5), Violet (4), Matty (3)
Son, I'm just a loser who's good at old video games. [British kid: Well, thank God for that.]
More lines from Sam Brenner
5 quotes Sam Brenner We have something better than light cannons. We have a positive can-do attitude. [Q*Bert: Ah.] I'm kidding, we're all gonna die. I'm just... sorry.
Sam Brenner Pac-Man's a bad guy?
Sam Brenner Chewie won't take my calls, Violet got the boot, we're on our own, guys.
Sam Brenner I've been waiting to do this since 1982. [throws his hammer into Donkey Kong, destroying him]
Scenes with Sam Brenner
10 scenes Sam Brenner Hello. I am a Nerd from the Nerd Brigade. Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs.
Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house?
Brenner
If I wanna get paid, yes.
Isn't it kind of demeaning?
Sam
Only if someone brings that up.
Okay, I won't bring it up, then.
Sam
Thanks.
Sam Mrs. Van Patten. All finished up down there. I need you to sign the work order.
Sam [confused]
Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet?
Sam Not judging, but what are you doing in the closet?
Sam Something I do often also. But why in the closet?
Sam I'm coming in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten. I'm opening the door. [he see Violet on the floor holding a Sippy Cup] [calmly, and concerned] Are you all right?
[voice breaking]
I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet, drinking Chardonnay out of a Sippy Cup, so I guess not.
Sam [apologetically]
Sorry. I withdraw the question. Uh– [he sits on the floor with Violet]
Sam [smiling]
Wanna talk about it?
No. Yes! Yes. [sobbing in Sam Brenner's shoulder] Oh, God!
Sam Oh, God.
I can't believe they even let you in here.
Sam Right.
Jennifer Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room.
Yeah. See, they need me in the Situation Room, so have fun doing whatever you're doing.
Sam Mmm.
Jennifer Mr. Brenner, the president is waiting for you in the Oval Office.
Sam
[falsetto voice, mockingly]
Somebody's more important. [moonwalks and addresses a member of the presidential detail while looking at Violet] [normal voice] Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here? [he moonwalks into the Oval Office] [to Cooper] Yo, wassup?
Oh, come on, you couldn't have at least changed?
Sam Brenner You told me to rush right over. What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there?
Our Air Force Base in Guam was attacked.
Sam Brenner By who?
I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you. Come here. Check this out.
Sam Brenner Me?
Yes, you. Come here. Listen to this. [he hits the space button on the keyboard, and deep whirring is heard.] Does that sound familiar to you?
Sam Brenner Yeah. Where do I know that from? Can you freeze it?
Yeah, hold on. [he pauses the video.]
Sam Brenner Go in tighter. [Cooper does so.] That can't be real.
Okay, so, you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
Sam Brenner What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers?
Jennifer [enters the Oval Office]
They're ready for you, Mr. President.
Great. Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council. Listen, do me a favor, Sam. Watch that again, okay? And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out.
Sam Brenner Yeah. Can I sit in your chair?
No, you can't, and everything's recorded.
Sam Brenner Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. [he waves at the security camera, and sits in the chair anyway.] I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break.
Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates to each of your car's GPSes. Let's locate and eliminate.
Come on, guys.
Sam Brenner [Pac-Man chases man on his bicycle. Ludlow is shocked.] [confused]
Pac-Man's a bad guy?
Professor Iwatani [Iwatani sees Pac-Man eat man's bike.]
Pac-Man is not bad! I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world! They have brainwashed him! Deep down, he's kind, gentle. Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with.
Professor Iwatani [Pac-Man stops in front of the Ghost Cars.]
You'll see.
Sam Brenner Professor Iwatani, what are you doing?!
Professor Iwatani I will talk to him. He's my son!
Sam Brenner No, that's a bad idea.
Professor Iwatani [Iwatani walks up to Pac-Man.] [to Pac-Man]
Hello, my sweet, little boy. Look how big you've grown. I'm so proud of you.
It's so sweet. He's so sweet.
Professor Iwatani But all these destructive things you're doing, it's wrong. I'm your father. I know, you're a good boy.
[Iwatani reaches out. Ludlow nods as if saying, "Go on." Suddenly, Pac-Man bites Iwatani's hand into pixels, and Iwatani screams in pain.]
NOOOOO!!!!
Professor Iwatani SOMEBODY KILL THIS STUPID BITCH!!!!
Sam Brenner [shocked and horrified]
That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there!
Sam Brenner [the Arcaders start chasing Pac-Man. During the chase, Pac-Man eats a fire truck.]
Pac-Man's faster than I remember!
Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts. We're gonna have to out-maneuver his ass. [he and the Arcaders sharply turn around a car.] Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off. [The Arcaders go in different directions.] I'll stay with Big Yellow.
'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs.
Sam Brenner [Pac-Man runs into Sam Brenner.]
What's up?
Whew.
Sam Brenner [on radio]
One down!
Two to go! [the Arcaders go another way.] All right, Pac-Man Number Two just regenerated four streets away headed North Bound. Turn east at the next intersection. Brenner, go straight.
Sam Brenner Got it.
Ludlow, go left. [Ludlow does so] Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left.
We got him! He's got nowhere to go!
Sam Brenner [Pac-Man eats a Power Pellet, thus turning all the Ghost Cars dark blue.] [shocked]
Oh, God. No!
"Oh, God. No!" what?
He ate the Power Pellet! Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us! [Pac-Man starts chasing Ludlow] Why me?! [Ludlow runs away] Oh, God, don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. Please, please don't eat me. [Pac-Man starts eating Ludlow's Ghost Car, and he screams in terror] GUYS! HELP! I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN! [Ludlow barely escapes the Ghost Car before it gets eaten by Pac-Man. Then Pac-Man turns around and continues chasing Ludlow.] Why are you doing this to me? [Ludlow runs for his life.] YOU'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED! YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
LUDLOW, RUN! PUMP YOUR LEGS! GO, BABY!
[Ludlow continues running from Pac-Man. Suddenly, Eddie appears and kills Pac-Man again.] [as the people in the office cheer]
ATTABOY, EDDIE!
How the Hell did he get over there so fast?
Sam Brenner [to Eddie]
Way to go, champ!
Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place?
Sam Brenner [sarcastically]
Yeah. Thrilled. [normally] One more to go and it's Happy Hour.
[Pac-Man Number Three regenerates where Pac-Man Number Two died, and Sam and Eddie chase Pac-Man leaving Ludlow laying in the street.]
So I, I guess they're just leaving me here.
[Pac-Man runs for his life as Sam and Eddie chase him.]
Now it's time for the hat trick.
Sam Brenner [Eddie accelerates but Pac-Man turns right causing Eddie to fly off of the road, falling into the East River.]
Wow!
Brenner, it's on you. There are still 3 other Power Pellets out there, so stay alert.
Sam Brenner I got this. If I don't, the world ends. Can't let that happen.
Come on, Brenner. Come on.
[Sam continues chasing Pac-Man]
Brenner, he leading you directly towards one of the Power Pellets. Get out of there.
Sam Brenner [Pac-Man eats Power Pellet, turning Sam Brenner's Ghost Car dark blue, and starts chasing Sam Brenner] [with a game face]
1.
Sam Brenner [backs up]
2.
Sam Brenner 3. You'll see your boy grow up. [Pac-Man chases him into parking garage] 4.
Sam Brenner [getting chased through the parking garage.]
5. 6. 7. 8. 9. [closes his eyes tight. The Ghost Car and Pac-Man fly through the air in slow-mo, and Pac-Man opens his mouth, about to eat Sam Brenner.] ...10. [barely kills Pac-Man Number Three. He lands on another part of the parking garage, and he breathes heavily, as Pac-Man powers down.]
[as everyone cheers wildly]
OH! OH! YOU DID IT! BRENNER! THAT'S THE ONE, BABY! [he and his wife hug. Two Admiral's shake hands. Violet sees Sam Brenner exit his Ghost Car and chuckles in disbelief.]
Man in Crowd
[Sam Brenner emerges from the parking garage]
He's over here!
Woman in Crowd
[Sam Brenner is greeted with thunderous cheers and applause. Eddie arrives on a fire truck, drenched, and gives the crowd a "Rock on!" hand gesture.]
Fire Blaster, I love you!
[Ludlow appears holding a blanket over something.]
Hey, guys! Sorry, coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes, sorry. [to Sam and Eddie] Hey! [whispers] Hey. Check it out. I think I might have found our next trophy.
Sam Brenner [uncovers blanket revealing Q*Bert mumbling] [intrigued]
It's Q*Bert.
Can I kill it?
Sam Brenner No! Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions. And then we'll kill him.
Huh?
Sam Brenner I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him.
Bye.
Sam Brenner Most violent game I've ever seen. Eh-eh, I don't think it's healthy for ya.
It's fine, I can handle it.
Sam Brenner No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to homeboy.
Sam Brenner Yeah. Hey, you know what'll cheer ya up? A cheese ball.
Yep.
Sam Brenner Huh? Come on, suck one up. [Q*Bert sucks up a cheese ball.] Take a handful. [throws a handful of cheese balls in the opposite direction, and Q*Bert sucks them in.] That was smooth. [chuckles] That was very smooth! [to Matty] You know, we should get him some exercise, maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit?
Okay. How about me and him do that while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night?
Sam Brenner Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother.
Sam Brenner [to Q*Bert]
You're right, I am. Okay. Here, finish these. [Q*Bert finishes cheese ball container] You gettin' chubby. [Q*Bert chuckles]
[after saving Sam, Violet and Ludlow from being pixelated by Frogger, and takes off Chewbacca mask.]
Nobody's better at the Crane Game than me!
Sam Brenner Chewie?! What's with the disguise, buddy?
They tried to take me to some underground bunker, so I went rogue. [reveals his Arcader uniform]
Sam Brenner Donkey Kong.
The one game you suck at.
Sam Brenner Yeah.
Sam Brenner In case it's Space Invaders, I just thought of something I should tell...
Corporal Hill [interrupts Sam]
Please return to the support area!
Sam Brenner Okay, but there's a 5+1 formation, alright?
Corporal Hill [grabs Sam's shirt]
If we need you, we know where to find you, alright? [pushes him away] Now bugger off. Bloody geek.
Sam Brenner [watching Matty play "The Last of Us" on the PlayStation 3]
There's no rhyme or reason to this game. Where are the patterns? He just attacks out of left field.
Patterns? Is that why you were so good with Pac-Man and Centipede? You memorized the patterns?
Sam Brenner Yeah. Only way to beat these things. Count the bullets, calculate the speed, crunch the numbers.
Where's the fun in that?
Sam Brenner Oh, boy. Why? What do you do?
You gotta pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die.
Sam Brenner Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's not gonna work every time.
That's why you have your reset button.
Sam Brenner Yeah, we didn't have those growin' up. [about "The Last of Us"] Most violent game I've ever seen. Eh-eh, I don't think it's healthy for ya.
Sam Brenner [to Matty; clarifying]
No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to homeboy.
Sam Brenner Yeah. Hey, you know what'll cheer ya up? A cheese ball.
Yep.
Sam Brenner Huh? Come on, suck one up. [Q*Bert sucks up a cheese ball.] Take a handful. [throws a handful of cheese balls in the opposite direction, and Q*Bert sucks them in.] That was smooth. [chuckles] That was very smooth! [to Matty] You know, we should get him some exercise, maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit?
Okay. How about me and him do that while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night?
Sam Brenner Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother.
Sam Brenner [to Q*Bert]
You're right, I am. Okay. Here, finish these. [Q*Bert finishes cheese ball container] Your gettin' chubby. [Q*Bert chuckles]
Jim Porter [storms through the crowd to Sam Brenner]
What did you do?!
Sam Brenner I didn't do anything. I-I thought we obeyed every rule.
Jim Porter You thought wrong, civilian! We squandered our one chance on you, a hi-fi repair man.
Sam Brenner [nervously]
But I-I swear...
Jim Porter [interrupts Sam]
But nothin'! You heard Hall & Oates! You blew it! I've seen your files. You never accomplished a darn thing in your entire life.
Jim Porter I wouldn't get smart with me, Colonel! You were all over the sideshow that did nothing but waste valuable time. Sometimes I wonder if you're not working for the Martians yourself!
Drop dead, Admiral!
Jim Porter [points at Violet]
You're done!
[breaks up the argument]
Alright, hey guys, that's enough! Listen, we tried something, it didn't work.
