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Monster House

Monster House quotes

36 total quotes

Horace Nebbercracker

View Quote Mr. Nebbercracker: [to Eliza] Get off my lawn!
[Eliza shrieks in horror as she helplessly tries to get her trike off the lawn]
Nebbercracker: Arrrrgh, trespasser!!! Do you want to be eaten alive???
Eliza: No.
Nebbercracker: Then get out of here!
Eliza: [shrieks and runs away from him, but forgets her trike in the process] My trike.
Nebbercracker: [angrily takes the trike off the lawn and rips the wheels off, growling menacingly; Eliza runs away, sobbing] Stay away from my house!!
Nebbercracker: You!
Chowder: [from the distance; to DJ] DJ, run!!
Nebbercracker: Constance. Oh, now. There, there. Oh, my sweet. You've been a bad girl, haven't you? You hurt people. Oh, Constance. We've always known this day would come. Haven't we? I—I have to make things right. I have to make things right. Constance? I've always done best for you, haven't I? Haven't I, girl? Constance? Let this be the right thing to do.
Mr. Nebbercracker: Take this.
Mr. Nebbercracker: You have to help me, please? I know you can do it. Go on!
[from the trailer]
Mom: We'll be back tomorrow night. Oh, if anything happens, call the police and hide in your closet.
Dad: He knows that.
Skull: Calm down! You make me want to throw up in some tin foil and eat it!
DJ: I'm a murderer.
Chowder: No, you're not. When it's an accident, they call it manslaughter.
Jenny: There!
[waves flashlight at chandelier]
Jenny: Well, if those are the teeth, and that's the tongue, then that must be the uvula.
Chowder: Oh, so it's a girl house...
Jenny: [looks at him] What?
[After Constance vomits out DJ, Chowder, and Jenny.]
Chowder: That's it. Another great idea, DJ! Brilliant!
DJ: What do you want from me, Chowder? I don't see you coming up with any big ideas!
Chowder: Oh, yeah? Yeah? Do you want to hear my big idea? I'm going home to make a pretzel sandwich! See ya! [Starts to walk away]
DJ: [Follows Chowder] Chowder, the house is still alive, and you're gonna wuss out?! [Turns Chowder around]
Chowder: I risked my life for you! I stole for drugs for you, and– [Shoves DJ] I could've died in there!
DJ: [Shoves Chowder] Yeah, me too!
Chowder: Yeah, but you're the one that killed Nebbercracker in the first place!
DJ: Getting your stupid ball back–
Jenny: [Steps between DJ and Chowder and breaks them up] You guys, stop fighting! You're acting like babies.
DJ: We are babies. What were we thinking? We tried to put a house to sleep with cold medicine. How lame can you get?
[DJ pushes past Chowder and starts to walk towards his house.]
Chowder: Where are you going?
DJ: [Turns around] I'm going home. I suck.
DJ: Mr. Nebbercracker! [Nebbercracker turns around, glaring at DJ] I know about Constance. [The house growls while watching DJ's re-encounter with Nebbercracker]
Nebbercracker: What? What do you know? You don't know anything! You were in my house? You-- [He tries to lunge at DJ, but he nearly falls, DJ save him from the fall and Nebbercracker recognizes DJ]
DJ: You didn't kill her, did you?
[Nebbercracker shakes his head and starts to remember]
Mr. Nebbercracker: I love her so much.
[Nebbercracker is shown in a flashback, watching Constance in the circus, having tomatoes thrown at her, and alone that night]
Young Nebbercracker: Hello?
Constance: Ah!
Young Nebbercracker: I can take you away from here. Would you like that?
Constance: Yes!
[Nebbercracker ties her cage to his truck, and drives Constance away from the circus, taking her to an empty sold spot for building the house]
Young Nebbercracker: Okay, open your eyes. [She does so] Okay, it's not much, I know, but--
Constance: Darling!
[Constance picks him up and takes him to the spot as the house starts building, rocks are being thrown at it, and Constance descends the spiral staircase]
Constance: Ah! Get away from my house! I'll rip them to bits. Help!
[Young Nebbercracker chops off the cage door with an axe and hears Constance's yells for help]
Young Nebbercracker: Constance!
Constance: Help! Help!
Young Nebbercracker: What's wrong? Are you hurt?
Constance: Hurt!? Yes, I'm hurt! Those criminals are attacking our house!
Teenage Bully: Trick or treat!
Young Nebbercracker: Now, now, they're- they're just kids, dear. It's Halloween.
Constance: No, no, no, it's my house, and they're HURTING ME!!!
Young Nebbercracker: Constance! Look at me! Look at me! [He turns her face towards him] As long as I'm here, I will never let anyone hurt you. [An egg is thrown at her]
Constance: Ah!
Young Nebbercracker: Constance!
[Constance takes the axe from him]
Constance: You vandals! [The bullies continue throwing eggs at her as she swings the axe to hurt them]
Teenage Bully: Eat this!
Constance: You hooligans! I'll get you!
Young Nebbercracker: Constance, no! [He tries to take the axe from her, but she accidentally hits him, knocking him out and she falls into the pit below the house, dropping cement on herself. The flashback ends with the finished house.]
Mr. Nebbercracker: So, I finished the house. She would have wanted that. [A boy rides by the house on a bicycle, throwing a newspaper at it] She died, but she didn't leave. [The newspaper is thrown back at the biker, hitting him and making him fall off the bike causing it and other newspapers to fall out, cut to him hammering a "BEWARE sign in front of the house, then a trio of kids in Halloween costumes in front of the house] And that night, that, that one night of every year, I had to take precautions.
Halloween Bully: [he and the other two start throwing things at the house] Trick or treat!
Mr. Nebbercracker: I had to. I had to.
Young Nebbercracker: HEY!!! STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!!!
[The scene changes back to the present]
Mr. Nebbercracker: She attacks anyone who comes near! [backs away from DJ] Go!
[Chowder is playing basketball. He throws the ball at the hoop, where it gets stuck.]
Chowder: You know, you were right. [Pats DJ on his back] We're definitely too old for trick-or-treating.
DJ: Oh, yeah. No question about it. On the other hand, we've been working all night.
[DJ takes some soot off Chowder's face and uses it to make circles around his own eyes and a mustache under his own nose.]
Chowder: Candy time?
DJ: Candy time.
Chowder: We're back! Yes! Whoo! Candy!
[DJ and Chowder run into the street.]
About Monster House (film)[edit]
View Quote [to DJ and Chowder] Are you guys mentally challenged? If you are, I'm certified to teach you baseball.
View Quote Chowder, your ball just landed on Nebbercracker's lawn. It doesn't exist anymore.
View Quote Get off my lawn!
View Quote Go on!
View Quote Hello, fence.
View Quote Hello, leaves
View Quote Hello, sky.
View Quote Honey, I'm home.
View Quote I kissed a girl. I kissed a girl on the lips.
View Quote I know you can do it.
View Quote I'm a murderer.
View Quote My trike.
View Quote Nice one, Bones.
View Quote No, I'm sorry!