Ghost World (2001) · 29 quotes
Most-quoted character in Ghost World (2001): in 27 of its 29 quotes
Most scenes with: Rebecca (16), Seymour (3)
Enid God, what a bunch of ****.
God, I know. I thought that chipmunk face was never gonna shut up.
Enid I know. I liked her so much better when she was an alcoholic crack addict. She gets in one car wreck and all of the sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everyone loves her.
Enid This is so bad, it's gone past good and back to bad again.
Oh, my God. You guys, I can't believe we made it!
Enid Yeah. We graduated high school. How totally amazing.
Hey, Rebecca.
Oh, hi.
So, we finally—
Enid What about me? Am I not even here?
Hey. Hey, Enid. [turns back to Rebecca] So, we finally made it, huh?
Yeah.
So, uh, where are you... uh, where are you gonna go to college?
Enid We're not.
Really? Both of you? Why not?
Enid Just because.
Yeah, we made other plans.
I guess I should have figured that you two would do something different.
Enid So, Todd, what are you gonna be when you grow up?
Well, I'm majoring in Business Administration and thinking of minoring in Communications, so—
Enid See, that's exactly the type of thing we're trying to avoid. [pulls Rebecca away] Look at this. Is Stacy Himmler going out with Rod Harbaugh?
Oh, God. How perfect.
Enid He'd better watch out or he'll get AIDS when he date-rapes her.
Well, well, well. If it isn't Enid and Rebecca—the little Jewish girl and her Aryan friend.
Enid You're late, asshole.
Fine, and how are you?
Enid Did you bring the tape?
You never paid me for that tape of the lndian dance routine.
Enid Yes, I did.
You Jews are so clever with money.
Enid **** you! You stupid redneck hick.
Hi. My name is Allen and I'll be your waiter this afternoon.
Enid Hi, Al.
Can we call you "Weird Al"?
I'd imagine so.
You should check out the personals. Maybe our future husbands are trying to contact us.
Enid Here we go. "Windsurfing doctor, Mensan IQ, maverick Sagittarius. Let's hit the clubs, make each other laugh."
You can have that one.
Enid Jesus, listen to this one. "Do you remember me, airport shuttle, June 7? You, striking blond with yellow dress, pearl necklace, brown shoes. I was the bookish fellow in the green cardigan who helped you find your contact lens. Am I crazy, or did we have a moment?"
God, that's so pathetic. I mean, she probably didn't even notice him.
Enid I know, and he's, like, psychotically obsessing over every little detail.
We should call him and pretend to be the blond.
Enid Oh, we totally have to.
Oh, it's that comedian I was telling you about. [turns up the volume on her television, which is showing an odd-looking man performing stand-up comedy]
...I still live with my mother people think I'm peculiar.
He's the absolute worst.
So what if she's been dead for fifteen years?
See? That's barely even a joke.
Well, it's like I always say—take my life... please.
Joey McCobb, the weirdest man in show business.
Enid If he's so weird, how come he's wearing Nikes? [switches the TV off] Joey McCobb is our god.
I want to do him.
Enid I bet. Actually, he kind of reminds me of that one guy you went out with, Larry. God, what look was he going for, a gay tennis player from the '40s?
**** you.
Enid You dated him.
Aren't there a million places like this?
Enid No. This is the ultimate. It's, like, the Taj Mahal of fake '50s diners.
Enid I'm gonna tell him you said that.
So nice to see you again, ladies.
Enid Hi, Weird Al. My friend here has—
Shut up!
Enid She says she wants to—
Enid Oh, my God. He just ordered a giant glass of milk.
That's a vanilla milkshake.
Enid It was so cute how he had his own little bags. I thought I was going to start crying.
Yeah, he should totally just kill himself. [looking through the classified ads in a newspaper] Oh, here's one. Oh, but you have to share with a "non-smoking feminist and her two cats."
Enid I don't know. I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool.
That guy is many things, but he's definitely not cool.
Enid What, is she black now?
Oh, look, there he is.
Enid As always.
Waiting for the bus that never comes.
Enid I wonder if he's just totally insane or he really thinks the bus is coming?
Why don't you just ask him?
Enid Hi. What's your name?
Norman.
Enid Are you waiting for a bus?
Yes.
Enid I hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Enid I bet he's in there jerking off.
I bet he never jerks off.
Enid Yeah, he's beyond human stuff like that.
Should we leave a note?
Enid Yeah. You got a pen?
Yeah. [pulls out a pen]
Enid "Dear Josh, we came by to **** you, but you were not home. Therefore, you are gay. Signed Tiffany and Amber." [puts it back on Josh's door handle]
You're gonna leave that?
Enid Why not?
Whoever told you that bullshit about boiling is out of his mind. Carpet beetles are the only way to get flesh off a corpse.
I'm just telling you what he said.
Enid Don't you creeps ever talk about anything nice? Don't you ever talk about fluffy kittens or the Easter Bunny?
Look who's talking, Little Miss Badass.
Yeah, nice outfit. Who are you supposed to be, Cyndi Lauper?
Enid Blow me, doofus.
Oh, my God. Didn't they tell you?
Enid Tell me what?
Punk rock is over.
Enid I know it's over, asshole, I'm not even—
You really want to **** up the system? Go to business school. That's what I'm gonna do. Get a job in some big corporation and, like, **** things up from the inside.
Enid You know, I'm not even trying—
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, do you have my money?
Oh! Oh, how punk!
Enid You know that tape sucked, by the way?
Oh, I'm so sorry if it offended Jew.
Enid Go die, asshole!
Get a job.
Enid God, **** you!
Can we go now?
Enid You know, it's not like I'm some modern punk, dickhead! It's obviously a 1977 original punk rock look, but I guess Johnny ****face over there is too stupid to realize it!
I didn't really get it either.
Enid Everyone's too stupid!
It has a large center hole and a hair crack.
But the crack is so tight, it's completely inaudible.
But a tight hair crack is just that—a crack. I don't collect cracked records. I only pay premium on mint records. Seymour, you know that. Please.
Enid So, what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?
So, was that your boyfriend?
Enid Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend. He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.
It's really quite something to see you all grown-up like this, Enid. I'd love to know what you're doing now. I can't help but feel I had some small part in how you turned out. What are you studying? You were always such a smart little girl.
Enid I'm taking a remedial high school art class for ****-ups and ****.
Hey, you see that guy over there?
Enid Which one?
The blond guy over there. [Enid spots him and rolls her eyes] He gives me, like, a total boner.
Enid He's, like, the biggest idiot of all time.
You guys up for some reggae tonight?
Enid Sometimes I think I'm going crazy from sexual frustration.
And you haven't heard of the miracle of masturbation?
Enid God, what a dork.
You're just jealous.
Enid Trust me, at this point, I'm past the fact that every single guy likes you better than me.
Oh, face it. You just hate every single guy on the face of the earth.
Enid That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.
Do you serve beer or any alcohol?
Enid I wish. Actually, you wish. After about five minutes of this movie, you're gonna wish you had ten beers.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Enid What? I was just joking around with the customers. It's my schtick.
Well, lose it. And why aren't you pushing the larger sizes? Didn't you get training about upsizing?
Enid Yeah, but I feel really weird. It's pretty sleazy.
It's not optional! [leaves her]
Enid Jesus.
Hi. Can I get a medium 7 Up?
Enid Medium? Why, sir, do you not know that for a mere 25 cents more, you could purchase a large beverage? And you know, I'm only telling you this because we're such good friends. Medium is really only for suckers who don't know the concept of value.
How much for this dress?
God, I can't believe you're selling that.
Enid That's $500.
What?
Enid 500.
You're crazy. It should be, like, $2.
Enid I was wearing that when I lost my virginity.
Well, why do I care about that?
Enid Well, why do you want it? I mean, it would look stupid on you anyway.
God! **** you! [tosses the dress back over the rack and walks off]
So, now are you gonna get a regular job?
Enid You know what my number-one fantasy used to be?
What?
Enid I used to think about one day, just not telling anyone and going off to some random place. And I'd just... disappear. And they'd never see me again. Do you ever think about stuff like that?
I guess I probably did when I was your age.
Enid You know what we should do? We should just get in your car right now and just drive off. Just find some totally new place and start a whole new life. **** everybody.
I'm, uh, I'm not in any good condition to drive.
Enid I'm serious! I'm just so sick of everybody. Why can't I just do what I want?
What do you want?
Enid What do you want? [a pause. They look into each other's eyes] Don't you like me?
