Stop staring at me. You're giving me a complex. I'm trying to blend.
Well, if you can hear me, can you change to the color of this table...
What do you think you're doing?
I think he understands me.
Well, if he understood me, I'd tell him how sick I am of all of these stupid animals.
[gasps]
Oh, that really hurt. If you could understand me, I'd tell you to do something about your dandruff flakes. It's looking like Christmas in July.
So young. So angry. (using the other bad word getting censored) that rap music.
What do you think you're doing?
I think he's about to say something.
And a large order of flies. Super-sized.
You will bring me ham, luncheon meats, cold cuts.
Hey. Maya, can I talk to Charisse alone for a second?
[sighs]
Charisse, look, I'm sorry about tonight. I'm thinking about cutting back a bit and spending more time with you guys.
Great, now more animals will be here.
What if we don't stay here? We can go on a big vacation to Europe, the whole family.
I'm dead serious. We can go to Paris, Rome, the Greek islands. We always talked about that. What do you think?
Yeah. European vacation. Tomorrow-Tomorrow! We're going to Europe tomorrow.
R Reporter
And in what must be one of the most unusual stories of the year, Dr. John Dolittle is trying to rewrite the laws of nature by attempting to reintroduce a performing bear into the wild. In doing so, he hopes to save an entire forest from destruction. It's Darwin versus Dolittle.
Governor, I've got two lumber mills waiting for that wood.
Governor I understand, Joe, but it's complicated. Especially if that endangered bear survives.
I don't meet my quota, Governor, you're the one who's gonna be endangered.
Now, now, J.P., not to worry.
Governor That ridiculous bear is bound to screw up at least once.
And when he does, you'll have yourself a new trophy.
And I've got just the place to put him.
Bye-bye. Drive safe now. Buckle up.
Hey, Archie, you in there?
Man, I just stopped by to say so long.
Oh. Thanks. For everything.
She's in heat. Excuse me, Doc. I got to go save the species. [chuckles]
Oh. Go do your thing, Archie. Yeah, Archie. Archie! [chuckles] Oh, Archie.
[narrating]
Yeah, it was quite a summer.
Hey, Lucky. What are you doing?
What am I doing? Hmm. Let me phrase it this way. [clears throat, howling]
[wolf howling continues]
You too, huh?
SI Steve Irwin
I am here with Dr. Dolittle, who can actually talk with animals. We're here about to capture this alligator right behind us, The trick to capturing this guy is to put your arms around his neck...
Alligator Hey Dolittle, What I'm doing is letting Steve think I don't hear him, when he comes for me, I'm gonna turn around and snap his arm off.
[Steve is still talking to camera]
Steve, I think he knows we're here.
SI Steve Irwin
Quiet, I don't wanna spoil the element of surprise...NOW!
SI Steve Irwin
[Snapping noise]
Crikey! Me arm!
TN TV Narrator
Bears are opportunistic eaters, finding food wherever they can.
Can we please see what else is on?
You need to watch this so you can learn... how to feed yourself and survive during the winter.
What is he doing? Digging?
You never even wondered what your sharp claws was for?
Narrator Bears are excellent swimmers.
[shudders]
Not this bear.
I know you're not gonna tell me you don't know how to swim.
Wait, you haven't heard? There's a new invention. it's called... the boat!
That's the last straw. Get up at dawn. I'm teaching you how to fish.
[narrating]
And so began the bear-athon, a training mission so "grizzly," so un-bear-able, so hairy-that's enough.
Archie, let's do it. This river's full of fish. Let's go.
Don't look at me, look at the water. That's where the fish are.
They're moving. Oh, man, one just touched me. One just touched me!
Look, you big, furry baby, put your face down right now and grab a fish!
Archie! I want to do just like you saw on TV. Put your face under the water and catch a fish can do it. Come on, man. I'm here with you. Go under the water.
All right, one, two, three...
Fish #1 [Archie inhales deeply]
That's Archie!
Fish #2 What's up?
Wassup Fish What's up?
[gurgling]
Hey, fellas, what's up?
[gurgling]
Can't breathe!
Hey! Archie. Archie! [grunting, panting]
[Archie burps, groans]
Okay, Archie. You tell me how smart do you have to be to lift your head out of the water when you can't breathe?
I saw a light. It was a bright light. It was beautiful.
Okay, That;s it. We're gonna take you on a little trip right now that's gonna toughen you up. Come on.
We're gonna find something even you can catch. Come on.
They're-I don't eat, uh- I'm good. Thanks. [sniffs] Okay, am I close?
It's going great, honey. I'm not even gonna need three weeks. Honey, look, he's already foraging grapes. Right?
Why's he walking away from 'em?
He's not walking away. He's circling the grapes.
Why? Are they dangerous grapes?
No, no, the grapes aren't dangerous, Eric.
Seriously, where are the grapes?
Don't worry, he's doing great. We're right on schedule.
I'm getting dizzy! Ohh! Oh! Oww! [crashing down stairs] I'm okay! Concrete broke my fall! Definite bruise.
Yeah. Bears have died reaching that hive.
Well, if you want it, you got it.
Oh, please. Don't even think about it. That's not funny.
No. I'm gonna go get it for you.
Archie, I'm serious. Don't. it's too dangerous. Promise me.
Okay. Okay. I like you, Ava.
Sonny What are you girls doing over here?
Sonny Beat it, circus boy.
Sonny Oh, you keep your yap shut.
[chuckles]
Your charm is matched only by your odor.
Sonny And what does that mean?
You're a malodorous ignoramus. It's nothing, really.
Sonny What's he saying? I'm confused. And I don't like being confused.
Really? Well, you think he'd get used to it, huh?
Sonny Let's go, Ava. Trying to confuse me. [mumbling]
Ava, don't go. Look, maybe you can do better than me, but don't do worse. I thought you liked me.
Sonny Come on, Ava.
But you'll always be a city bear. And I need more than that.
City bear. [sighs] Great.
[bell rings] [narrating]
Welcome to San Francisco, the city by the bay, home to 30,000 fire hydrants, four million tennis balls... and very liberal pooper scooper laws. My name is Lucky. I'm a dog, in case you hadn't guessed, and I belong to this man. You remember Dr. Dolittle, right? The guy who can talk to animals? If you don't, let me jog your memory. He's a doctor, and he talks to animals. Well, anyways, he's busier than ever.
Woman Doctor, you've got Mr. Carson at 10:00 for a full workup. Mr. Wennington's E.K.G. is at 12:00. Mrs. Bloom called. She's got a bad rash. I told her 11:15.
Buster's got a deworming at 12:30. Misty's kennel cough is back. I put her at 1:00. Afternoon-wall-to-wall neuters.
You've got the Rotary Club dinner tonight.
The Kennel Club breakfast tomorrow.
Push Mr. Carson to 11:00. I will deworm Buster at 12:00, do the E.K.G. at 12:30. Move Misty to 1:15. And stop mixing up my charts. Last week you almost had me neutering Mr. Panitch.
From what I hear, you'd be doing Mrs. Panitch a favor.
Any time, ladies. Thank you.
[narrating]
No matter how busy he got, Doc always found time to help animals.
Bandit Hi. My name is Bandit.
D Dogs
Hi, Bandit. How you doing, Bandit?
Bandit [sniffles]
And I'm a stray.
D Dogs
That's okay. We're all strays.
I know how hard it is the first time to get up there. Take your time.
SD Sheep Dog
Just one paw at a time, Bandit. That's true.
Right. Never give up hope. Never, ever give up hope. Not just Bandit. All of you dogs, listen to me. Every dog in here can find a family and be somebody's best friend. Let me hear you say that. Say, "I am somebody's best friend."
D Dogs
I'm somebody's best friend!
One more time. Again. I am somebody's best friend!
D Dogs
I am somebody's best friend!
That's right. That's right. There's a family out in North Beach that's trying to find a good watchdog, somebody that's housebroken and great with kids. Any of you guys got a background in security?
HD Hound Dog
Oh, that'd be Rusty. Rusty's a watchdog.
D Dog
Rusty, tell-- Oh, no. Rusty!
R Rusty
This better be important.
No, uh, never mind, Rusty. It says, "Must not lick ass all the time."
[narrating]
Every zoo in the country had a job for the Doc. He was especially good at matters of the heart.
How long's it been since you guys made little baby turtles?
Male Tortoise Oh, not that long. Maybe 20 years.
Female Tortoise It'll be 48 years next Monday.
Okay, I see the problem here. I know what to do. Listen. I'm gonna give you these pills. Crush 'em up and put 'em in your food.
Male Tortoise Oh, yeah? What do they do?
Male Tortoise Oh, yeah! You're looking fine! Coming at you, baby!
[narrating]
In fact, he became an international celebrity, traveling from Alaska to Australia.
S Steve
I am here with Dr. Dolittle, who can actually talk with animals. We're here about to capture this alligator right behind us. The trick to capturing this guy is to put your arms around his neck...
Alligator Hey, Dolittle, see what I'm doing, I'm allowing Steve to think I don't know he's back there. Wait 'till he tries to grab me, turn on him and Bob's your uncle bite his arm off! [laughs]
S Steve
[Steve is still talking to camera]
I'm gonna have to get my arm around his neck and handle his -
[having heard the alligator]
Steve, I think he knows we're over here.
S Steve
[shushes Dolittle]
Quiet, I don't wanna spoil the element of surprise...NOW! [Alligator roar noise]
S Steve
Crikey! Me arm! [Belching sound]
[forest animals chattering]
You guys have given up, haven't you?
Hey, what am I gonna do? I'm six years old. I'm not a young beaver no more. Besides, we've been living in this forest how long?
About a hundred years we've been shaking down this forest, boss.
Look, I tried to do this by myself, but I can't. So if you guys want to save your homes, you're gonna have to help me. And whether or not you believe it, you guys have enormous untapped power.
[Drunk Monkey blows raspberry]
When people talk about the best of the best, it's always an animal expression. You got a heart like a lion. Or he's as strong as an ox. He's got eyes like an eagle. Or he can move swift like a gazelle. Or you stink like a skunk.
Sorry about that, man. I'm trying to make my point. What I'm trying to say is, we can do this! We can do it! Just don't give up without a fight!
Let the word go out from Sicily to SeaWorld. The trucks don't move! Capisce?
FA Forest Animals
The beaver's right! Got it! [cheering]
