Charisse has always had a mind of her own. When she was about a year and a half, she decided not to wear diapers anymore. Remember that?
She started having accidents around the house 'cause she didn't have it down yet. We'd have little piles--
Dad, you just had to go there, didn't you?
This is family. We're talking the old days.
It's cool. I'm actually learning something here.
Really? You know what's interesting? You never learned to take off your hat at the dinner table. Isn't your head getting hot? Mine's hot just looking at you in that hat.
Sixteen! Just think. In two years you'll be out of this house and on your way to college.
One year, ten months, sixteen days.
You know what? Berkeley's a really close college. You could live at home, save money.
That's a good idea. But I've already reserved a U-Haul for the day I graduated high school.
Oh. You reserved a U-Haul already?
Uh, Dad? Someone to see you.
Joey Yo, step outside.
Thank you, sweetie. Excuse me, darling.
I love you too. Excuse me, Eric.
Joey Hey, hey, yo. Yo, down here. Okay.
Joey First, let me say the beaver sends birthday greetings to your lovely daughter.
Really? That's very nice. Tell the beaver he's starting to get on my nerves.
Joey Why are you getting bent out of shape? He only wants a moment of your time.
Joey I don't think you want to go down that road, my favorite best friend.
[knocks on window]
Go and tell the beaver, 8:00, my office, tomorrow.
Joey Oh, the beaver don't travel for nobody. He knows you're a busy man, and he will remember this, but this is truly a life-or-death situation.
All right, shut up, listen. My car, 7:00 a.m. All right?
Joey Hey, this is good news. The beaver likes good news.
Joey Jimmy, get the car.
What do you think you're doing?
I think he's about to say something.
And a large order of flies. Super-sized.
You will bring me ham, luncheon meats, cold cuts.
Hey. Maya, can I talk to Charisse alone for a second?
[sighs]
Charisse, look, I'm sorry about tonight. I'm thinking about cutting back a bit and spending more time with you guys.
Great, now more animals will be here.
What if we don't stay here? We can go on a big vacation to Europe, the whole family.
I'm dead serious. We can go to Paris, Rome, the Greek islands. We always talked about that. What do you think?
Joey Yo, Doc, one thing...
Yeah. European vacation. Tomorrow-Tomorrow! We're going to Europe tomorrow.
[narrating]
So, Doc, the raccoon and the possum took a road trip to meet this mysterious beaver.
Joey Hey, Doc, nice wheels. What do you call this thing?
[Baby car seat]
Yo, Doc, is there a car named after me?
No, I don't think they make a Possum.
Not a lot of cars named after rodents.
Joey I wanna go over a couple ground rules for when you're in the beaver's presence. Number one: No sudden movements. Number two: Do not stare at his teeth. Between you and me, he's got a little bit of an overbite. I personally think he needs braces, but I'm not a dentist. Numbers three through ten: You will treat him with the respect he deserves. Capisce?
We're talking about a beaver, right?
Joey Hey, Tootie, how you doing?
A Animal
Hey, Doctor, how are you?
Joey Back away from him, Jimmy. Show some respect, you animals.
O Owl
Look, the raccoon got the doctor.
B Bird
He says he's a miracle worker.
Joey Paulie, get the boss ready.
P Paulie
I'm doing everything like you say, Joey. I'm just, I'm gonna go get some acorns.
Eh, Dr. Dolittle, I presume. Welcome to my den. Would you like a fish?
Oh, no, thank you. I've eaten already.
Joey Hey, the beaver offers you a fish, you take the fish.
Joey Sorry, boss.
I've heard good things about you from some of the Bay Area families.
From the Bay Area families. Really? [chuckles] What are you guys, some kind of mafia?
Joey Mafia? No. We don't know nothing about no mafia, do we, boys?
I'm just a simple fisherman who's blessed with many friends. Perhaps you will be one of them.
What do you guys want from me?
Well, I'm losing my territory.
What, the other animals moving in on you or something?
Yeah, the human kind. They're cutting down our homes, busting up families. Word is they're cutting down the whole forest.
Guys, you're talking to the wrong person. You need to contact one of those nature groups like the Sierra Club or, um--
It has to be you, Doc. You're the only one who knows how to speak human.
Joey Yeah, we can't fight humans on our own. They got guns, knives, pullout couches. Sure, I got rabies. I could bite somebody. But I can only do so much!
You guys have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
Sure, I do. It's man against nature. But with you on our side, I like the odds.
Me on your side? I didn't say I was gonna help you. I didn't say.
Doctor, before you say no, I would like you to see what we're talking about.
[sniffling]
It's gone. Everything, gone.
[narrating]
Meanwhile, while the cat's away, the mice will play, and by mice I mean teenagers.
All right, they still closed?
Joey Okay, boys, this is it. Remember what the Doc said. If this punk tries anything fresh, we let him have it. Capisce?
I got wings, legs, tacos, whatever.
Taco? Did somebody say taco?
Joey No, no, blend in, blend in. You're gonna blow our cover.
Charisse, there's something I been meaning to do since we got out here.
Joey Now!
He French-kissed me! Blecch! Blah! Blah!
Joey Now, that worked out nicely. The other drinks are on me, Jenny.
Okay, candles, fruit, cheese, wine. Perfect.
Oh, hey, honey. I'll tell you what I'm doing. It's all about you tonight, baby. I've sent the children to the other movies, and the bear is camping in the woods. We're alone.
[clears throat]
One second.
No, you cannot see me. I am at one with the couch. I am blended perfectly, interwoven into every fiber. Oops! I can give you some pointers!
So much for the intrusions.
Hey, come on. It ain't no fun if the homeys can't see none.
You were thinking candles and wine would make up for ignoring me the last few days.
I'm trying to sense a little resistance. I took that into consideration. Here's something you need to resist.
♪♪ [Stereo: R&B Ballad]
LR Lionel Richie
♪ And I feel with you ♪
[Lisa chuckles]
Is this our wedding song?
♪ In my arms ♪
Is this the first thing you ever danced to as Mrs. Dolittle?
[Lisa laughing] ♪ This love will last ♪
The other show is about to start.
♪ Forever ♪
It is! It truly is!
♪ 'Cause I'm ♪ ♪ Truly ♪
♪ With Mrs. Dolittle ♪
♪ Truly in love ♪
[singing along]
♪ Truly in love with you, girl ♪
♪♪ [continues]
Let me tell you, he scratched my belly the other day, my leg went crazy.
♪ Head over heels with your love ♪♪
Apparently, he's truly, truly in love with her.
Joey Hey, Doc, give her some garbage. Chicks like garbage.
How about planting a little sugar on Dr. D's lips?
D Deer
He broke her! [gasps]
Get outta here, all of you!
But this is really helpful. I'm learning a lot. Truly.
Just get out of here. We'll discuss it tomorrow.
You're gonna discuss what tomorrow?
Oh. Well, I w-I was- Well, baby, why don't we just pick it up where we left off.
Why don't you sleep on the couch?
W-Wait, what'd she say, Doc?
She said she loves me much, I get to sleep on the couch.
Yes, I'm the man. I'm the man on the couch. [clears throat]
Hey, come on out of there, Archie.
I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
It was the rudest thing I've ever done before or once or since, and everyone knows I once rode a unicycle in a tutu! A tutu!
Okay, I understand, but we can fix this. We just have to work harder.
Nope, I'm just gonna stay here and hibernate.
Joey Tell him to stay in there. We're making our own bear suit.
Joey Good, bcause we were wondering, would it be alright if every animal in the whole forest stays with you next week?
Alright, Archie. I'm not playing anymore. You come out here right now, you big coward!
Uh, excuse me, who are you calling a coward?
You. I'm calling you a coward. You're a big coward for quitting like this!
You wanna know what "hard" is, Archie? My wife is mad at me, my daughter's mad at me, and I'm spending my vacation with a pizza boy, who greets me by saying "Hey yo, Dr. D, what's up?" Now, I'm standing here listening to a big, furry baby crying, telling me he wants to quit, because it's too hard!
[whines]
Well, Ava laughed at me!
[mocking Archie]
"Oh, boo-hoo! Ava laughed at me! I love her, and I need her, and she laughed at me!" You know something, you don't even deserve Ava! Why should Ava have to spend her life with a [pokes him] coward like you?
Hey. Don't poke the bear, buddy.
Oh, I didn't poke a bear, because if I poked a bear, a bear would be mauling me. So, I dunno what I poked, but it sure ain't no bear! [pokes him again]
[pokes him again]
Yeah, and I'm poking you!
[pokes him three times]
Alright, poke, poke, poke!
Alright, that's it!! [pushes John over the edge]
[he tries to fall off and lands his back in the mud.]
Archie, that hurt.
Whoa, that felt good. Bear-like.
Hey, Archie, you know what? You're beyond my help! You just take your back to the circus!
A bear? Whoo-hoo! I'm a bear! I'm the alpha bear! Rawr! RAAWWRRR! Uh, bears say "grr," right?
Talking time's done. It's time to be bold for Ava.
H Hawk
He's going after the hive! He's going after the hive!
Joey Archie, you idiot. Jeez!
Boy, this cliff's higher than I remember.
So this is your big plan? Archie, you get back here right now! Come back in!
No way, Doc. I'm gonna do this or die trying.
That bear is one bad mother.
Archie, what are you doing? Archie, you get back in here right now. Stop playing!
I don't think I'm gonna win Ava by eating a bunch of worms. I'm never gonna feel happier than Sonny. I need to show her how much she means to me.
Yeah, and if you fall, it's gonna prove that you're stupid and dead, Archie.
S Sonny
What's going on around here? Oh, circus boy's got a new trick.
Okay, I got it. I got it.
That log ain't gonna hold him. And I know logs.
[log creaking]
Okay! Ohh!
Don't move, Archie! Don't move!
Joey I'll buy you the honey.
[bees buzzing]
What's happening? Hold still! I'll talk to them. Work something out. Don't you move.
They're stinging me! No, no!
[Bees buzzing]
I can't see! Ooh! They're stinging! Get away from me!
No, no, no! No attack! Hey! Stop!
B1 Bee #1
Defend the hive!
B1 Bee #1
Get the little guy!
B1 Bee #1
[Bee #2 yelling] [Jack Riley gasps]
Protect the hive! Attack!
Archie! Archie! Hey, Archie! Hey! [grunting]
Archie, get back in here!
S Sonny
Jump, circus boy!
Joey Good job, Archie! Way to go, Archie! All right!
P Porcupine
Woo! Woo! Woo!
That kid's got moxie. I love him.
Okay. Okay, what's the matter with you, huh? What'd you do something like that for, huh? Are you crazy?
S Sonny
I could have got that hive if I wanted it. Come on, Ava, before I get mad.
Sonny, we're not working out. So, take a hike.
[forest animals chattering]
You guys have given up, haven't you?
Hey, what am I gonna do? I'm six years old. I'm not a young beaver no more. Besides, we've been living in this forest how long?
Joey About a hundred years we've been shaking down this forest, boss.
Look, I tried to do this by myself, but I can't. So if you guys want to save your homes, you're gonna have to help me. And whether or not you believe it, you guys have enormous untapped power.
[Drunk Monkey blows raspberry]
When people talk about the best of the best, it's always an animal expression. You got a heart like a lion. Or he's as strong as an ox. He's got eyes like an eagle. Or he can move swift like a gazelle. Or you stink like a skunk.
Sorry about that, man. I'm trying to make my point. What I'm trying to say is, we can do this! We can do it! Just don't give up without a fight!
Let the word go out from Sicily to SeaWorld. The trucks don't move! Capisce?
FA Forest Animals
The beaver's right! Got it! [cheering]
P Pigeon
Hey, Archie. All the animals are working together. You'll be out of here in no time.
It's ridiculous. Animals can't organize.
You may want to take a look at this for yourself then.
MO Man on TV
All over the world, animals have organized. They're striking in Paris, Texas, in Paris, France, in Brooklyn, in Mexico and in Canada.
I'm sure I'm going to regret this in the morning, but maybe you should talk with Dolittle.
And what? Give in to a bunch of beasts and lower life-forms? I took on the Democrats. I can take on a bunch of animals.
M Mouse
[mouse squeaking]
Charge!
[mouse squeaking] [Jack Riley gasps]
Go on!
MP Male Pigeon #1
We have two bogeys, bearing Alpha Tango Niner.
MP Male Pigeon #2
[bird cawing]
We are locked on targets.
MP Male Pigeon #1
Commence bombing!
MP Male Pigeon #2
[bird cawing]
Roger that, sir.
MP Male Pigeon #1
Well done, men! I got your wing, man! The party ain't over yet!
Don't make any sudden moves.
MP Male Pigeon #1
[wolf growling, barking] [Joe Potter yelling]
Attack! Back 'em up! Poop's away! Firing number two! Let's return to base and reload.
Sir, you, uh, you-you've locked the, uh-
You've locked the door, sir!
I think you should run. Run!
I'm an attorney. I'm not with him.
B Bee
There he is again! Get the little guy! Banzai!
[Joe Potter chuckling, gasps] [Sonny roars]
No, please! No, no. I'm sure we can work something out. I'm just reaching for my phone. I'm gonna call Dr. Dolittle.
Joey Whoa, whoa. No sudden movements, or I'm gonna bite you in the cannolis
Uh, hello. The number for Dr. John Dolittle, please. Not Stuart Little. Dolittle.
[phone rings]
Dolittle. Oh, Mr. Potter. How are you, sir?
Oh, I could be better. I'm here with a couple of your friends.
I know you can't possibly believe that animals are organizing.
Uh, well, you know, I don't know what to think anymore.
Tell you what. Let's put our cards on the table. I will be more than happy to set up a meeting between you and these animals... so you can work out your problem.
Hey, look. it's the only way you're gonna be able to save face. You won't have to admit you were wrong, and you can get out without looking like an idiot.
Okay, okay. Look, anything. Just-Just call them off.
Okay. All right, listen, put the raccoon on the phone.
He wants to speak to you. Make it short.
Joey [clears throat]
Hello. Yeah. No, no. I got it under control. Hey, we'll call youse back.
All right. First off, let me say that I'm here only as a mediator. And these negotiations will be between Mr. Potter... and the representatives of the United Animals of the Forest, local 534.
Yeah. Let's come to order.
Joey What's the stipulations, Doc? What kind of territory are we looking at?
It's only, uh, 12 acres here. It's 12 acres.
Joey I got your 12 acres right here, pal.
Joey I'll give you something you like. Like this. [urinating]
I think that's a "no." Or "hell no," maybe.
[narrating]
Meanwhile, the strike kept growing. Even the pros were getting in on the act.
MO Man on P.A.
The last few runners left to load now for one of the biggest spectacles of the year: It's Derby time. Last horse is in. Gate's closed. And away they go!
H Horses
Hell, no! We won't go! Hell, no! We won't go! Hell, no! We won't go!
HJ Horse Jockey
Run your own stupid race!
H Horse
You try running a mile. Don't even think about reaching for that whip, shorty.
ST Shamu Trainer
Ladies and gentlemen, Shamu!
ST Shamu Trainer
[audience cheering, applause]
This is Shamu!
S Shamu
[audience muttering]
Nah. I don't feel like jumping through any hoops today. Any of you guys?
KW Killer Whale #1
Uh-uh.
KW Killer Whale #2
No, no. Not today. I just ate. Uh-uh.
Mr. Potter, I hope we have a deal now.
Joey Yeah! Good job. Taught him everything he knows.
Vive le bear! Vive le Archie! Vive le docteur! [hiccups]
Come on, give me a bear hug. Come on!
Oh, no. Absolutely not, Archie.
You're not leaving here until you get a bear hug.
All right, give me a hug then. just a little one.
Okay. All right. That's good. Archie-- [gagging] Archie! Archie, you're crushing my spine. [gasping] Archie!
