Lucky [bell rings] [narrating]
Welcome to San Francisco, the city by the bay, home to 30,000 fire hydrants, four million tennis balls... and very liberal pooper scooper laws. My name is Lucky. I'm a dog, in case you hadn't guessed, and I belong to this man. You remember Dr. Dolittle, right? The guy who can talk to animals? If you don't, let me jog your memory. He's a doctor, and he talks to animals. Well, anyways, he's busier than ever.
W Woman
Doctor, you've got Mr. Carson at 10:00 for a full workup. Mr. Wennington's E.K.G. is at 12:00. Mrs. Bloom called. She's got a bad rash. I told her 11:15.
Lucky Buster's got a deworming at 12:30. Misty's kennel cough is back. I put her at 1:00. Afternoon-wall-to-wall neuters.
You've got the Rotary Club dinner tonight.
Lucky The Kennel Club breakfast tomorrow.
Push Mr. Carson to 11:00. I will deworm Buster at 12:00, do the E.K.G. at 12:30. Move Misty to 1:15. And stop mixing up my charts. Last week you almost had me neutering Mr. Panitch.
Lucky From what I hear, you'd be doing Mrs. Panitch a favor.
Any time, ladies. Thank you.
Lucky [narrating]
No matter how busy he got, Doc always found time to help animals.
B Bandit
Hi. My name is Bandit.
D Dogs
Hi, Bandit. How you doing, Bandit?
B Bandit
[sniffles]
And I'm a stray.
D Dogs
That's okay. We're all strays.
I know how hard it is the first time to get up there. Take your time.
SD Sheep Dog
Just one paw at a time, Bandit. That's true.
Right. Never give up hope. Never, ever give up hope. Not just Bandit. All of you dogs, listen to me. Every dog in here can find a family and be somebody's best friend. Let me hear you say that. Say, "I am somebody's best friend."
D Dogs
I'm somebody's best friend!
One more time. Again. I am somebody's best friend!
D Dogs
I am somebody's best friend!
That's right. That's right. There's a family out in North Beach that's trying to find a good watchdog, somebody that's housebroken and great with kids. Any of you guys got a background in security?
HD Hound Dog
Oh, that'd be Rusty. Rusty's a watchdog.
D Dog
Rusty, tell-- Oh, no. Rusty!
R Rusty
This better be important.
No, uh, never mind, Rusty. It says, "Must not lick ass all the time."
Lucky [narrating]
Every zoo in the country had a job for the Doc. He was especially good at matters of the heart.
How long's it been since you guys made little baby turtles?
MT Male Tortoise
Oh, not that long. Maybe 20 years.
FT Female Tortoise
It'll be 48 years next Monday.
Okay, I see the problem here. I know what to do. Listen. I'm gonna give you these pills. Crush 'em up and put 'em in your food.
MT Male Tortoise
Oh, yeah? What do they do?
MT Male Tortoise
Oh, yeah! You're looking fine! Coming at you, baby!
Lucky [narrating]
In fact, he became an international celebrity, traveling from Alaska to Australia.
S Steve
I am here with Dr. Dolittle, who can actually talk with animals. We're here about to capture this alligator right behind us. The trick to capturing this guy is to put your arms around his neck...
A Alligator
Hey, Dolittle, see what I'm doing, I'm allowing Steve to think I don't know he's back there. Wait 'till he tries to grab me, turn on him and Bob's your uncle bite his arm off! [laughs]
S Steve
[Steve is still talking to camera]
I'm gonna have to get my arm around his neck and handle his -
[having heard the alligator]
Steve, I think he knows we're over here.
S Steve
[shushes Dolittle]
Quiet, I don't wanna spoil the element of surprise...NOW! [Alligator roar noise]
S Steve
Crikey! Me arm! [Belching sound]
Lucky [narrating]
Yeah, it seemed everybody wanted a piece of the good doctor. And his family understood. Well, most of them did. But we'll get to that part in a minute.
Lucky [narrating]
Right now I gotta answer the door.
Lucky [muttering]
Yeah? Who's there?
It's me. I forgot my key. Open up.
Lucky Then I guess you'll have to beg. Come on, boy! Beg! Get it? Role reversal. 'Cause usually it's the human t-that says to the dog, uh-
I know you'd better open up the door before I... Just open the door, Lucky.
Lucky Seeing as you're the one who feeds me, I'm gonna let you in.
Okay, thank you. Thank you.
Lucky Careful, Doc, she's 16. That's a tough age.
Hey! Charisse, open this door! Can you believe this? Hey!
Lucky Try her cell.
I'm not calling on the cell phone while she's in her bedroom.
[rattling doorknob]
Hey! Charisse. Open the door! Okay. All right! Okay! Okay! [growling] Charisse! Charisse!
[slurping, hiccuping] [chuckles]
Those teenagers, Doc. They can drive a man to drink.
Hey, what are you drinking?
Oh, really? Give it to me. [takes water pouch and smells drink]
Gatorade make wine now, huh?
Which one of you is Dolittle?
I have a message from the boss.
The boss, the guard beaver. Save the questions and come with me.
You guys know the rules. You just don't come up here on my balcony. Make an appointment. You make an appointment Now, go. You tell the beaver make an appointment just like everybody else.
I can't tell him that. I'll end up sleeping with the fishes.
How's it gonna look in the paper when Dolittle throws a possum off the roof? That's not gonna look right. Now, leave, 'cause I will.
This is Daddy. How are you?
I got a couple of questions for you. I wanna know how come I gotta climb up the side of a building and get on a cell phone to talk to you!
Calm down. Where are you?
[muffled]
I'm outside of the building, right here!
Dad! Dad, what are you doing?
What am I doing? It's the only way I can reach you! What are you doing in here? What's all of that about? You don't do that in public, do you?
That's not dancing. That's advertising. What's this about you don't want to spend your birthday with your family?
Having dinner with your family is something you do when you're young, not when you're turning 16. Besides, I have a date.
You can bring your date 'cause you're coming to dinner.
Cool! Eric, these are my parents and my little sister. They're joining us on our date.
No, he's gonna be joining us at a family event. We have it every year. I don't even know why-- [finds Charisse's report card] What's this?
I can see why it's private. it's embarrassing. You got two C's and a D.
Embarrassing? [chuckles] Dad, you are the last person who should talk about anything being embarrassing.
What are you talking about? What's that supposed to mean?
[Drunk Monkey screeches, hiccups]
I'm supposed to stop helping the animals because you find it embarrassing?
That's right. It's not gonna happen. So forget about it. You're coming to dinner. Look at this. No cell phone for a week.
What am I supposed to do without my cell phone?
Here's some stamps. Learn how to write a letter. You think I care? Do I look like I care? Look at me. No, Charisse.
Look at me. Do I look like I care? Look. I don't care.
Lucky Maya.
Lucky Maya.
What do you think you're doing?
I think he's about to say something.
Lucky Bring me a bone.
And a large order of flies. Super-sized.
Lucky You will bring me ham, luncheon meats, cold cuts.
Hey. Maya, can I talk to Charisse alone for a second?
[sighs]
Charisse, look, I'm sorry about tonight. I'm thinking about cutting back a bit and spending more time with you guys.
Great, now more animals will be here.
What if we don't stay here? We can go on a big vacation to Europe, the whole family.
I'm dead serious. We can go to Paris, Rome, the Greek islands. We always talked about that. What do you think?
Yeah. European vacation. Tomorrow-Tomorrow! We're going to Europe tomorrow.
Lucky [narrating]
So, Doc, the raccoon and the possum took a road trip to meet this mysterious beaver.
Hey, Doc, nice wheels. What do you call this thing?
[Baby car seat]
Yo, Doc, is there a car named after me?
No, I don't think they make a Possum.
Not a lot of cars named after rodents.
I wanna go over a couple ground rules for when you're in the beaver's presence. Number one: No sudden movements. Number two: Do not stare at his teeth. Between you and me, he's got a little bit of an overbite. I personally think he needs braces, but I'm not a dentist. Numbers three through ten: You will treat him with the respect he deserves. Capisce?
We're talking about a beaver, right?
Hey, Tootie, how you doing?
A Animal
Hey, Doctor, how are you?
Back away from him, Jimmy. Show some respect, you animals.
O Owl
Look, the raccoon got the doctor.
B Bird
He says he's a miracle worker.
Paulie, get the boss ready.
P Paulie
I'm doing everything like you say, Joey. I'm just, I'm gonna go get some acorns.
Lucky [narrating]
So much for a family vacation. But Doc figured, how hard could this be? That was before he met Archie.
♪♪ [Rock]
E Emce
Ladies and gentlemen, he's the bear with flair, the walking rug with an adorable mug-Archie the bear!
[motorcycle engine revs]
♪ Get your motor running ♪ ♪ Head out on the highway ♪ They love me. Go.
[revving continues]
♪ Born to be wi-i-i-ild ♪
[crash]
Ow! Gee! ♪ And that's the show ♪♪ Whew! Big-boned gal, huh?
Oh. [chuckles] Yeah, I guess so.
Got any action shots? You know what I'm talking about.
No, I don't, but listen, you'd be lucky to wind up with somebody like her.
Look, I have had so many girlfriends, you know-- [chuckles] Okay, look, I've never had a girlfriend. just bring her by on Monday. That's when I'm dark. Okay?
I can't bring her here. You have to go to her.
Whoa, whoa. Go to her? Where?
Ooh, uh, I don't play forests. I'm strictly a state fair, small arena-type bear.
Archie, Do you know what kind of bear you are?
Um, let's see. Yes. I'm a singer. Dancer-- three years tap, two years jazz.
No, Archie, you're an endangered species.
Is that a threat, buddy? Because my lawyer will be down here--
No, I'm not threatening you. You're a very rare bear. You're a Pacific Western bear. You know what that is?
Yes, I know what-- I can play any kind of bear. I've got range. Grizzly, panda. Here, check out my polar. I am freezing! It is cold!
I haven't made it clear. Let me break it down to you. Your ancestors come from the mountains of California.
When you were six months old, they took you from your mother and taught you to wiggle your hips to a recording of "Hound Dog."
No, no, I taught myself that. I admit I pander, 'cause I'm a pander bear! Get it? Ha ha ha! Pander!
Yeah, that's funny stuff, Archie. But listen, what I'm proposing to you is, I'd like to take you back to where your ancestors roamed, get you out in the woods and teach you to be a real bear.
Look, I like the bear I am. Okay? I'm famous! Have you been to the gift shop? I have my own beanie baby.
You do this, you'll be the most famous bear in all the world.
Are you kidding me? You pull this off, they'll be saying, "Winnie the who?"
You've got yourself a bear.
Lucky [narrating]
So we all moved to the forest and waited for Archie to arrive. While the family settled, it was time I started looking out for number one.
Lucky [chuckles]
Huh? ♪ Doo-do-do-do-doo ♪ This looks like as good a place as any. Ah, the simple pleasures of life. Holy lord! That wolf is a fox! I hope I don't have dog breath, you know, from licking my own-- Never mind. Oh, you like that, huh? Yeah, that was me. [chuckles] Plenty more where that came from.
Lucky "Grr" to you too. What is that, some kind of secret wild lady dog code for "You like me"? Yeah, I do some dancing. Here's a little move I call the back-scratcher. Pretty cool, huh? H-Hey, hot lady, wait. Where you going? Call me!
Lucky [narrating]
And so, the big day finally came, and I had a feeling the fur was gonna fly.
Okay, everybody, you all know why we're here. We're about to try to do something that's never been done before. Everyone thinks we can't pull this off, and they got their blades sharpened and their trucks ready to roll. But we're gonna prove 'em wrong, right? That's right. Now I want everybody to put their claws together. How about a big round of applause for the bear that's gonna lead the way? Let's hear it for Archie!
[animal murmuring]
Yeah! Come on!
Are you ready to save the forest? ♪ Put your paws up Put your paws up, come on, now ♪
Is this some kind of joke?
Hey, I wanna go serious on ya for a second. I know I've got my work cut out for me, but with your help I know one thing... [whispers] Now. Go.
♪♪ [piano intro]
♪♪ [up-tempo disco]
[off-key]
♪ I will survive ♪ ♪ Yes, I will survive ♪ ♪ As long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive ♪ ♪ Yes, I will survive ♪ ♪ As long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive ♪♪ Everybody!
♪♪ [Archie humming]
FA Forest Animal
This show's over.
R Rabbit
Let's go fool around.
You got your work cut out for you, Doc.
♪♪ [fades]
TN TV Narrator
Bears are opportunistic eaters, finding food wherever they can.
Can we please see what else is on?
You need to watch this so you can learn... how to feed yourself and survive during the winter.
What is he doing? Digging?
You never even wondered what your sharp claws was for?
N Narrator
Bears are excellent swimmers.
[shudders]
Not this bear.
I know you're not gonna tell me you don't know how to swim.
Wait, you haven't heard? There's a new invention. it's called... the boat!
That's the last straw. Get up at dawn. I'm teaching you how to fish.
Lucky [narrating]
And so began the bear-athon, a training mission so "grizzly," so un-bear-able, so hairy-that's enough.
Archie, let's do it. This river's full of fish. Let's go.
Don't look at me, look at the water. That's where the fish are.
They're moving. Oh, man, one just touched me. One just touched me!
Look, you big, furry baby, put your face down right now and grab a fish!
Archie! I want to do just like you saw on TV. Put your face under the water and catch a fish can do it. Come on, man. I'm here with you. Go under the water.
All right, one, two, three...
F1 Fish #1
[Archie inhales deeply]
That's Archie!
WF Wassup Fish
What's up?
[gurgling]
Hey, fellas, what's up?
[gurgling]
Can't breathe!
Hey! Archie. Archie! [grunting, panting]
[Archie burps, groans]
Okay, Archie. You tell me how smart do you have to be to lift your head out of the water when you can't breathe?
I saw a light. It was a bright light. It was beautiful.
Okay, That;s it. We're gonna take you on a little trip right now that's gonna toughen you up. Come on.
We're gonna find something even you can catch. Come on.
They're-I don't eat, uh- I'm good. Thanks. [sniffs] Okay, am I close?
Lucky Cold.
Lucky Arctic.
It's going great, honey. I'm not even gonna need three weeks. Honey, look, he's already foraging grapes. Right?
Why's he walking away from 'em?
He's not walking away. He's circling the grapes.
Why? Are they dangerous grapes?
No, no, the grapes aren't dangerous, Eric.
Seriously, where are the grapes?
Don't worry, he's doing great. We're right on schedule.
I'm getting dizzy! Ohh! Oh! Oww! [crashing down stairs] I'm okay! Concrete broke my fall! Definite bruise.
Lucky [narrating]
Meanwhile, while the cat's away, the mice will play, and by mice I mean teenagers.
All right, they still closed?
Okay, boys, this is it. Remember what the Doc said. If this punk tries anything fresh, we let him have it. Capisce?
I got wings, legs, tacos, whatever.
Taco? Did somebody say taco?
No, no, blend in, blend in. You're gonna blow our cover.
Charisse, there's something I been meaning to do since we got out here.
He French-kissed me! Blecch! Blah! Blah!
Now, that worked out nicely. The other drinks are on me, Jenny.
Lucky [narrating]
Meanwhile, the doctor gave Archie and me some lessons of our own.
Lucky Can you leave a bit for me? Technically, it is my--
Lucky [wolf growls]
Just a thought.
Hey! What's going on here?
Lucky I've just been blessed, I feel I need to give back to the hot lady dog.
You don't have to put up with that. Get outta here!
wolf growls]
Lucky That is one hot fox.
What's the matter with you two? Don't you know that every female is looking for the strongest male?
But what about personality?
Lucky I'm gonna die a virgin.
Shut up and listen. The strongest male is called the alpha male. The alpha male wants everybody to know he's the boss male. You have to be him-- the boss of all the males. You have to learn how to walk like the alpha male. Walk the other walk.
And talk the alpha male talk!
Lucky; I'm on the other walk.
It's about power and respect. It's about pure, uncompromised, testosterone-driven male power!
John, didn't I ask you to line the garbage pails?
You try to line them your (using the other word getting censored) self, woman!
I-I'm sorry, honey. I was talking to the animals. I got a little riled up. I was teaching them something.
Stop trying to mess with those animals here and go and get us something to eat.
I'm on my way. Going right now, honey.
Lucky Way to go, alpha male. Talk the talk.
Who are you telling to shut up?
I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the animals. I'm just going to get the other food.
Look out, Ava! There's a new Archie in town! Oh, yeah! That feels good! Feel it coming! Feel the burn! Feel the wind! Feel the muscle cramp! Oww! Aah! Oww!
Come on, Archie, don't quit. Dig deep. Let's go!
I think I pulled my butt muscle. Ouch. It stings. My butt stings. Could you rub my butt? Could you rub it, please? Rub my own butt. Come back here, rub my own butt. Please rub my own butt.
Lucky [narrating]
Doc finally realized he was never gonna make Archie fast enough or strong enough to impress Ava, but maybe, maybe he could make him sweet enough.
Wow, how beautiful can anybody feel?
Why don't you need to tell her that?
Oh, I don't know. I... Oh, my... What is that?
Oh, that's Sonny. That's her little "bearfriend." She told me about him.
Hey, don't get discouraged, man. Listen, you can win her over. The key to winning a woman over is, figure out what she likes. Take my wife.
Don't do that. This is serious.
My wife, she likes to be surprised.
Like jumping out of the bushes, screaming?
No, nothing like that. They like romance. Do something romantic. Something that says, "I'm thinking about you all the time." You know?
Wow, that's really nice. You do something like that for now?
I used to. But lately I've been, you know, all caught up in this, so I guess I'm a little out of practice.
Okay, candles, fruit, cheese, wine. Perfect.
Oh, hey, honey. I'll tell you what I'm doing. It's all about you tonight, baby. I've sent the children to the other movies, and the bear is camping in the woods. We're alone.
[clears throat]
One second.
No, you cannot see me. I am at one with the couch. I am blended perfectly, interwoven into every fiber. Oops! I can give you some pointers!
So much for the intrusions.
Hey, come on. It ain't no fun if the homeys can't see none.
You were thinking candles and wine would make up for ignoring me the last few days.
I'm trying to sense a little resistance. I took that into consideration. Here's something you need to resist.
♪♪ [Stereo: R&B Ballad]
LR Lionel Richie
♪ And I feel with you ♪
[Lisa chuckles]
Is this our wedding song?
♪ In my arms ♪
Is this the first thing you ever danced to as Mrs. Dolittle?
[Lisa laughing] ♪ This love will last ♪
Lucky The other show is about to start.
♪ Forever ♪
It is! It truly is!
♪ 'Cause I'm ♪ ♪ Truly ♪
♪ With Mrs. Dolittle ♪
♪ Truly in love ♪
[singing along]
♪ Truly in love with you, girl ♪
♪♪ [continues]
Lucky Let me tell you, he scratched my belly the other day, my leg went crazy.
♪ Head over heels with your love ♪♪
Apparently, he's truly, truly in love with her.
Hey, Doc, give her some garbage. Chicks like garbage.
How about planting a little sugar on Dr. D's lips?
Lucky Go, Doctor! Go, Doctor!
D Deer
He broke her! [gasps]
Get outta here, all of you!
But this is really helpful. I'm learning a lot. Truly.
Just get out of here. We'll discuss it tomorrow.
Lucky Uh-oh. Busted.
You're gonna discuss what tomorrow?
Oh. Well, I w-I was- Well, baby, why don't we just pick it up where we left off.
Why don't you sleep on the couch?
W-Wait, what'd she say, Doc?
She said she loves me much, I get to sleep on the couch.
Yes, I'm the man. I'm the man on the couch. [clears throat]
Lucky [narrating]
Yep, there was love in the air.
Lucky Be the man. Be the man. Be... the... man. Hey. Now, you listen to me. Yeah, that's right. You're in my house now.
Lucky Yeah, my house. Also my house. All of these are my houses right there. Hey, you're a lucky girl, you know that? Yeah. You're the lucky one, not me. You. [chuckles] Hey. You want to go out with me tonight? Would that be good?
WW White Wolf
Hey, wait a minute. What do you think you're doing?
Lucky Who-Who-Who, me? No. I'm not doing anything. I'm just, you know, assuming the position.
WW White Wolf
Hey. You marked my tree.
Lucky Oh, no. I would never do that. I would never mark-- mark your tree. I don't even know what those words mean. I drank the water. I'll tell you something about water. It goes right through me.
WW White Wolf
Come on. It smells like lemonade.
Lucky Oh. Yeah. Oh, I see your point. Yeah, yours is... very, very strong. It's like-like ammonia. I'm actually feeling dizzy, to tell you the truth.
WW White Wolf
Come on. Let's beat it. We're leaving.
Lucky Two of you are going, huh? Have fun. Two of oyu are going, huh? Have fun. Have fun. You make a very handsome couple. [chuckles] God, I hate myself.
All right. First off, let me say that I'm here only as a mediator. And these negotiations will be between Mr. Potter... and the representatives of the United Animals of the Forest, local 534.
Yeah. Let's come to order.
What's the stipulations, Doc? What kind of territory are we looking at?
It's only, uh, 12 acres here. It's 12 acres.
I got your 12 acres right here, pal.
I'll give you something you like. Like this. [urinating]
I think that's a "no." Or "hell no," maybe.
Lucky [narrating]
Meanwhile, the strike kept growing. Even the pros were getting in on the act.
MO Man on P.A.
The last few runners left to load now for one of the biggest spectacles of the year: It's Derby time. Last horse is in. Gate's closed. And away they go!
H Horses
Hell, no! We won't go! Hell, no! We won't go! Hell, no! We won't go!
HJ Horse Jockey
Run your own stupid race!
H Horse
You try running a mile. Don't even think about reaching for that whip, shorty.
ST Shamu Trainer
Ladies and gentlemen, Shamu!
ST Shamu Trainer
[audience cheering, applause]
This is Shamu!
S Shamu
[audience muttering]
Nah. I don't feel like jumping through any hoops today. Any of you guys?
KW Killer Whale #1
Uh-uh.
KW Killer Whale #2
No, no. Not today. I just ate. Uh-uh.
Mr. Potter, I hope we have a deal now.
Yeah! Good job. Taught him everything he knows.
Vive le bear! Vive le Archie! Vive le docteur! [hiccups]
Come on, give me a bear hug. Come on!
Oh, no. Absolutely not, Archie.
You're not leaving here until you get a bear hug.
All right, give me a hug then. just a little one.
Okay. All right. That's good. Archie-- [gagging] Archie! Archie, you're crushing my spine. [gasping] Archie!
Bye-bye. Drive safe now. Buckle up.
Hey, Archie, you in there?
Man, I just stopped by to say so long.
Oh. Thanks. For everything.
She's in heat. Excuse me, Doc. I got to go save the species. [chuckles]
Oh. Go do your thing, Archie. Yeah, Archie. Archie! [chuckles] Oh, Archie.
Lucky [narrating]
Yeah, it was quite a summer.
Lucky Hey, Doc.
Hey, Lucky. What are you doing?
Lucky What am I doing? Hmm. Let me phrase it this way. [clears throat, howling]
[wolf howling continues]
You too, huh?
Lucky [narrating]
And Charisse and the Doc were closer than ever.
Oh, come on. Cheer up, Pepito. You'll get it eventually.
No, I won't. I will never blend in. I have a broken blender.
You will blend in. Trust me. You will blend in.
How? How will Pepito ever blend in? Pepito sucks. [gasps] Look at me! I'm blending in! I'm invisible!
That's right. You're invisible. Great job, honey.
Did you ever doubt me? The blendmaster is back.
I am king of the third world. Hey, can we do the whole house like this? Is very feng shui.
Lucky [narrating]
But the best news of all came the following spring.
BB Boy Bear Cub
No, you don't know what you're talking about.
Kids, come on- Hey! Ooh! Over here! Kids! Whoo-hoo! Over here! Okay. Now, it's step, step, turn, kick, step.
GB Girl Bear Cub
Papa, I thought it was step, kick, turn, step, step.
Come on, kids. We open in six weeks.
Oh. [chuckles] I did, honey. We're just playing. Okay, now from the chorus. Five, six, seven, eight...
A All
♪ I will survive I will survive ♪ ♪ For as long as I know how to love ♪ ♪ I know I'll stay alive ♪
♪ I've got all my life to live ♪ ♪ I've got all my love to give ♪ ♪ And I'll survive I will survive ♪ ♪ Hey, yeah ♪♪
[fades]
