Leave this boy, devil man. Go now, Satan. Take the serpent's voices with you. I command you to come out of this boy! Come on out of this boy! God said it! Come on!
You'll make some real friends now.
Lucky From that day on, John Dolittle never spoke to animals again.
Someday, you're gonna thank me for this.
Lucky And after a while, all he could remember was that down inside, there was something missing. And just like his dad wanted, he grew up to be a normal, regular guy-- you know, miserable.
Hey, hey, get out of here! Hey! Haah! Haah! Haah! Haah haah! Haah!
Lucky And did I mention he was a father? A lot like his own father, who was a father to him before he himself became a-- Ahem. Oh, look, she's got a giant egg.
Good morning, Charisse.
My name isn't Charisse. I have changed my name to Paprika.
Paprika? Paprika Dolittle. That has a nice ring to it.
Not Dolittle, just Paprika.
Well, I don't understand it. What is that about? What's Paprika about?
You know, salt and pepper? Paprika?
Oh, oh, Okay. Paprika. I get it.
I think Paprika is a beautiful name.
He doesn't take anything we want seriously.
Tell me about it.
Yes, Mark. Yes, I did go over the proposal. I think it's unbelievable. Okay, I'm on my way in now.
Maya, where are you going with that?
It's for my swan egg I found in the park.
Really? It looks like it'd be a good omelet.
Dad, it's gonna hatch any day now.
Well, you're gonna miss that cause you're gonna be at camp.
But, Dad, I can't go to camp, cause when a baby bird hatches, the first thing it sees, it bonds with it. I want it to be me.
You know, Maya, it is not normal or healthy for you to spend all your time with your little experiments. You know what would be a good experiment for you? For you to spend some time with some kids your own age at camp, which is exactly where you're going Sunday. You're being dropped off at camp.
You mean dumping me off. What about my pet egg?
Here. Here's half a dozen pet eggs to take with you at camp.
Oh, stop it.
I don't know what all the fuss is about. We went and bought you that thing anyway. You got a pet. What was that pet rat thing we bought?
A guinea pig.
We got you the guiena rat, and the thing died. It's not our fault it died.
It didn't die. His name is Rodney, and he's in my room.
The thing still-- so why are you bothering me about the swan? I'm going to work. I'm out of here. Good-bye. Bye-bye. Good-- Have a nice day, everybody. Nice day.
[door opens and closes]
Hi, honey.
Where are you? Are you all right?
Yeah, honey, I'm okay.
Are you sure?
No. really. I just freaked out a little bit.
What's wrong?
Well, I got lot of stress live been under.
From what?
The merger and the practice. It's all just kind of come to a head. I'm sorry.
Okay, John, just come back out here, okay?
Yeah, I'm on my w... Yeah, I'm on my way out now.
Lucky Bonehead!
Yeah, I'll see you in a few.
John? John?
Excuse me. Where's the stray dogs?
Right this way.
Hey! Yo! Hey, man. What's up, buddy? How you doing, man?
Hey, buddy. Over here.
Hey, mister. Bet you I won't bite nobody again. Mm-hmm.
I am Keyser Soze.
Lucky Wait, wait, I have owners. They've just been out of town for a few... a few years.
Dead dog walking.
Lucky That does not sound good.
Keep your tail up, pal.
When are we gonna get some decent chow in here?
Lucky Hey, hey, hey. Thanks a lot. Whoa, that was close, huh? Hey, hey, you got kids? I love kids. Kids, they're the greatest.
Kids are great. Tell me what the hell is going on.
Lucky Hey, you understood me.
You don't say? Think I'm going crazy. How come I can understand you talking?
Lucky I don't know. Maybe you're just weird.
Hey, shut up. You're a dog. Dogs can't talk.
Lucky What do you think barking is, an involuntary spasm?
I don't know what barking is. I know you're not barking. I'm going to be with my family. Excuse me. Good luck to you.
Lucky That's it? [coughing] Oh! Ohh! Oh, it must be that truck exhaust or something. Oh! Now everything's going black. Ohh! Ohh! It's not good.
Lucky Oh. [whimpering]
So, what seems to be the problem?
Well, I tell you, Doctor, I really think it's pulmonary distress. And he might have fluid on his lungs, too.
Oh, let me guess. You're an M.D.
Yes, I am.
I can always tell when a real doctor beings in an animal. They always like to do a little amateur diagnosis.
Lucky Could you tell him to get away from my butt?
If you don't mind, I did go to veterinary school for five years.
Lucky Is it just me, or is he hovering around my butt a lot?
And unlike an M.D., my patient cannot tell me where it hurts.
Lucky Listen, seriously, could you tell him my butt is great?
So, Doctor, if you don't mind.
Lucky Hey, where does he think he's gonna put that? Look. Look, I was faking it, okay? I feel fine. Just don't let him stick that thing up my... Hello!
Let's just have a listen to those lungs, shall we?
Lucky I'm gonna swallow the thermometer, and I don't mean in my mouth.
Dr. Fish, maybe I should pull that out a little bit.
Don't you touch that.
Lucky It's heading in. It's going south for the winter. [moaning]
Now, you see, I have to interpret what the dog is moaning about.
Lucky What's to interpret? There's a thermometer. It's in my butt.
Take it easy. It'll be over in a minute.
What?
Yes.
Lucky Well, there it goes. Butt just swallowed it.
Doctor? I'm just guessing, but I think you might have just lost your thermometer.
Well, it's gone. All right, I have three... [passes gas] three options. One: I can manually retrieve it.
Lucky What's he saying?
Options. He wants to retrieve it manually.
Lucky Pass.
Two: give the dog a laxative and wait it out. And three: surgically remove it.
A laxative or surgery.
Lucky Laxative!
Why don't you just give him a laxative? It'd probably come out later on.
Never works.
So what would you suggest?
I'd like to go in manually. There we go.
Lucky Oh, my Lord! This is not good. Lassie go home! Ee ah oh oh ah ee ah oh oh.
Lucky Why on earth would a guy go into a line of work like that?
All right. That's it for you. Hit the road. Get out of here.
Lucky What? But I'm your pet.
You are not my pet. If I were gonna get a pet, I wouldn't get one as annoying as you. Now get out. Go.
Lucky Hey, hey, don't worry about it. You sprung me from the joint, you fixed me up, I'm thankful.
Yeah. Just go.
Lucky Don't worry about me. I'll just be going down the road, disappearing without a trace. I hope a car doesn't hit me. Oh, well, one less dog.
Hi, Daddy.
Hey, baby. How you doing?
Am I gonna see you before I go to camp?
Honey, I'm really working on it.
Lucky Ruff! Ruff!
Get out of here. Go.
Lucky Ruff!
Daddy, is that a dog?
Yeah, that's a dog.
Lucky Ruff!
Mommy, guess what. Daddy got me a dog.
No, no, no, no. Daddy, didn't...
Hey. Is that what you've been up to, you sneak?
You caught me.
Lucky Ruff! Choo! What? I have allergies.
Yeah, I guess we'll see you at camp.
Lucky Ruff! Ruff!
Grandpa, Daddy got me a dog! He got me a dog. Can you believe it? My own dog.
My own?
Hi.
Hi.
Look, they're gonna want to know your name.
Lucky I don't have one.
We're gonna have to think of one.
Lucky Let me see. A little girl once called me, '"Please, Mommy, not him." How about that?
Nah, that's not gonna work. You got red hair. How about Lucy?
Lucky Lucy? Yes, I like that. Lucy. Good name. Yeah, just one problem. I'm a guy.
Really? How about Lucky?
Lucky Perfect. Lucky, yes. Hi, I'm Lucky. Hey, it works on two levels. I love it.
Daddy!
That's my daughter. Be nice.
Oh, you got me a dog. Oh, he's adorable. Oh, you're such a cute dog.
His name is Lucky.
Does he do any tricks?
He does a pretty neat trick with a thermometer that's kind of funny. Hey, baby.
Hey, baby. You got her a dog.
Yeah, well, I got us a dog.
Welcome to Camp Hawkeye.
Are you okay?
Counselors, gather your groups.
Yeah. Come on, let's get you all set up here.
Come on, Maya.
Look at this nice rabbit on your door. Isn't that nice? This is nice.
Yeah!
What a fun cabin. You smell the air here? What a wonderful place. What a wonderful camp.
Daddy, can I go home with you and Lucky?
Hey, Maya. Look, here's the deal. You stay here for a little while, have a great time, then Lucky's all yours.
Three weeks is a long time. Couldn't I just go home with...
No camp, no dog.
Okay, I'll stay.
Listen, you're gonna have a great time. When you get older you're gonna thank me, cause you'll have so many friends. You'll see. You'll see. You'll see.
Lucky Everything's going by so fast. [moaning]
Don't you dare throw up in this car. What are you looking at over there?
Lucky The lines on the road. They're just whipping by. Lines. Line, line, line, line, line, line.
Don't focus on something so close. Look at something further away. Don't look at the lines.
Lucky Okay. Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree. Tree. tree, tree, tree. Ooh! Just, sir, could you just... [coughing, chuckles] Who knew?
Oh, what a day. Ohh.
You have knots all over the place.
I'm all messed up. I'm falling apart.
How's that feel?
Oh, Mrs. Dolittle.
Lucky Yeah, baby!
Excuse me one second, okay?
Okay.
Excuse me just one second.
Lucky What?
Let's go.
Lucky What a gyp.
You mind if I have a little privacy, please?
Lucky Oh, yeah, but it's fine when people watch us do it, huh?
Ruff. Ruff.
Lucky Fine to turn on the garden hose.
Hey, you want a tip on a good position?
You were barking.
Well, I'm excited. When I get excited, I make all kinds of sounds. Ruff!
You never barked before.
Oh.
Hello.
Lucky Yoo-hoo, Doc. We got trouble here.
Let's go.
Hey! No, no. You take care the ducks. I'll take the goat.
Lucky Me? All right. I'll get the ducks.
What's going on out there?
Uh, Mark just showed up. So I'm gonna have to go over the proposal. We have to go over a few things.
Come on. Let's move it.
Don't do that. Lucky out here. He wants me to take him for a walk first, so I got to take Lucky for a walk that, then I got to deal with Mark.
Great. I'll see you in the morning. I'll be the one cooking breakfast.
Uh, tomorrow. Ruff! Oh, hey, Mark. Hi, how you doing? You're trying to destroy my life, all of you, aren't you? Freeze! Stop right there! Don't you move. What are you doing? Why are you in the hallway this time of night?
I have to go to the bathroom. What are you doing?
I'm p-p-patrolling the hallways. I'm the father. I patrol these halls to make sure everything is safe while you're asleep. I patrol these halls. You wait. Don't you move. The reason you're up this time of night going to the bathroom's is cause you spend too much time drinking all those liquids. Too many liquids. You're having too many liquids. I think that you're old enough to hold it in, so go on back to bed.
But, Dad, I have to go.
Well, Lucky's in the bathroom right now.
The dog is using the bathroom?
Let me make sure he put the seat down. Then it's your turn, okay? Don't you move from there.
Hey, hey, hey! You heard of knocking?
Hey, one quack. Not one quack. Hey. Here's the toilet. It's all down like you all like it, ready for you. No little sprinklets on it or anything. It's just waiting for you to come and do your thing.
Dad, I don't need adult supervision.
Okay.
Somebody get this thing off me.
Come here. Hey, hey, hey!
Get this thing off. Uhh! [choking] Hey, take it easy. Don't gag me.
Oh, good night. Good night, honey.
Mmm.
Let's go. See what you almost made happen? Let's go.
What I almost made happen? What did I do?
Beep, beep! We're the sheep.
Oh, no, not sheep. Not these clones.
What are you doing? Where you going?
Top dog. Coming though.
Sorry. Am I late? Am I late?
Good evening, Doctor.
Oh, no, no. You gonna have to take your fat back out. I don't...
Oh, my God. What a zoo.
Obviously not a kosher establishment.
Everybody, just come in.
All right, where are the chicks? Ohh! I'm cool.
Waiting list for patients?
Let's go, landing. Make way!
Very well-appointed sty.
What's going on? What is all this?
Lucky Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc.
Our butts hurt.
Okay, let's do this. And watch your droppings.
Tonight, this is the house of love! East coast! West coast! Let's unite! Is Brooklyn in the house?
This should take care of the inflammation. The only problem is, who are you gonna get to wipe it on for you?
Does Brad Pitt need a goat?
And now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you. You're a short... Hey, get outta there. You're in my landing space.
Man!
See if you land on your feet, road kill.
Why don't you bloodsucking vermin take a break, all right?
Mmm. Bloodsucking.
Look out below.
Hey, Lucky, come on.
Lucky Come on what?
Come on. We gotta go up there.
Lucky Are you crazy? That's a tiger.
I'm jumping now. Don't try and stop me.
Will you come on?
Lucky Coming right up. One order of man, side of dog.
I need a drink.
Good-bye, cruel world. Oh, no, I just remembered. I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon. Ha. One of the few animals that enjoy that kind of thing.
Hi.
Hey, who are you?
I'm Dolittle.
Yeah, well, get out of here. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm gonna jump.
Hey, whoa, whoa. Take it easy now. Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you.
I don't need a doctor. I need a miracle. I'm a train wreck. I have headaches, nausea. The worst thing is this double vision. Ah, what's the use? It's not like anybody cares about tigers anyway, you know.
Now stop, you're being silly. Listen, there have been lots and lots and lots of lovable tigers.
Yeah? Name one.
Lucky How about Tony?
Tony the cereal tiger?
Lucky What? I didn't hear you come up with anything.
Oh! Remember that song "Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky III? [singing off-key] "It's the eye of the tiger, it's the da-da-da..." That one from Rocky III when Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat Mr. T. Then Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger" for him. He went back and beat the snot out of Mr. T because of "Eye of the Tiger". Because of that song. It moved him inside. Not "Eye of the Moose", not "Eye of the Bull," "Eye of the Tiger".
That's it. I'm jumping.
No, no, no, don't jump--!
Come on, ya little scaredy cat!
I'll catch ya! Not! [laughs]
Didn't I say take a break?! [screams]
All right, Doc! Then you jump!
Because I'm the only one who can. I don't know, maybe it's my destiny. And maybe it's your destiny to be the one tiger that everybody remembers. Why else would I be here talking to you?
Cause the drunk monkey can't keep his mouth shut.
Are you gonna let me help?
What if you can't?
If I can't help, then you can eat me and Lucky.
Lucky Yeah. Or just him.
Really? Will you take me back to the circus?
I will take you back to the circus.
All right. But don't think I wasn't gonna jump, because I was. Uhh! Sure hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer.
Lucky Good job, Doc. Although, you got to admit seeing a tiger jump five stories would've been really, really cool.
I heard that.
He's not coming back. I can't believe I fell for it. Oh, boy, I'm getting dizzy.
Lucky Man, you don't look so good.
Yeah, look who's talking. What do the three of you know?
Lucky Uh-oh.
I'm in bad shape. Ow, my head.
Daddy's home!
Daddy? Hey, Daddy!
Hey, beautiful, how are you?
Oh, I'm fine.
John.
Hey, baby. Mmm.
Wh...? Why didn't you call me?
I wanted to surprise you. Hey, why aren't you in camp, young lady?
Mom brought her home.
I didn't fit in.
You're just gonna have to try a little harder next year. Come here. Give me a hug. I missed you. Still Daddy's baby, huh?
Honey?
Hmm?
Do they know that you left?
No, I escaped. Of course they know I left. They released me. They told me I was better. Time to come home spend some time with my family.
Lucky Ahem. Are you not talking to me?
You're sure you're okay?
Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
Cause I got scared, wondering when you were coming home.
Well, I am back and I'm fine, and everything's gonna be just like it was in the old days.
Lucky Okay, I know what you're doing. Well, two can play at that game. I don't have to listen to you, either.
You know, uh, honey, I was thinking maybe we should get rid of that dog.
I ain't listening to him! Coming home empty-handed! Don't tell me there wasn't a gift shop at the loony bin!
Let me park this car.
All right. Come on, girls. Let's go.
Maya, let me talk to you a second. We'll be in there in a second.
Okay.
Hey, listen. I don't think your egg is a stupid idea. It's think it's kind of cool.
You do?
Yes, I do. You have curiosity and a lot of ideas, and that's what makes you special.
You mean weird.
No, I didn't say weird. I said special. Being weird's is not such a bad thing. A lot of greatest people in history were considered weird when they came on the scene.
Like who?
Lots of people. Albert Einstein. When he showed up with his crazy hair, people thought he was weird. A guy that smart was weird to people. Muhammad Ali. When he showed up on the stage saying what round he was gonna knock out people in and screaming, "I'm the greatest," people thought that was strange, you know. Kind of weird, super weird. And Joan of Arc, she heard voices.
Like you, Daddy?
Yeah, like me. Listen, this is what I'm trying to tell you. No matter what happens, you be who you are and you love who you are cause I love you. Gimme a kiss. Yes.
You know, dad, you're a great person.
Oh, thank you.
And a weird one too. See you inside.
Okay. [sighs]
Lucky That was beautiful, man.
Hey, Lucky! What are you doing here?
Lucky Do you have a tissue?
Yes, I do. Right in the back in that pocket over there. Listen. I'm sorry I ignored you back at the house.
Lucky You were the one who said "Be who you are." You were right.
Lucky You put me back in touch with the part of me that I'd forgotten years ago.
Lucky Can you take it easy for second? I'm trying to say something.
Lucky Well, then just say it.
I'm trying to say it. What do you think I'm trying to say?
Lucky "I love you, Lucky."
No, no, that's not what I'm trying to say.
Lucky Oh, yes, it is.
That is not what I'm trying to tell you.
Lucky Oh, come on. Deep down inside. That's exactly what you want to say. Come on, now. You'll feel a lot better. Come on. Let it out. Go ahead. You know it. I know it.
I love you.
Lucky You love me? Oh, I'm gonna need another tissue. Where are we off to?
We are off to ruin my life.
Oh! Hey, Doc. You came back.
You need help. I want you to take some for tests.
Tests? That's good, right? Tests?
Yeah. Come on.
Ohh, I hate these stairs.
Take good care of him, Doc. He's our star.
He'll be okay.
Oh, great. More steps.
Come on. Get in.
Wait a minute. The dog gets to ride up front?
Lucky Hey, could you stop looking at me like I'm a side dish?
Oh, don't flatter yourself.
Now, you two guys shut up. Quiet.
Hey, look. Jerry!
Can you keep your voice down?
He's a big fan. Hey, Jerry! How you doing, dude? Just going for some tests.
Hey, hey, hey!
I'm fine! "The tiger's fine." I'm not sick.
Stop the car!
I told you they'd get away.
No thanks to you.
No thanks to me? Three armed guards versus a pigeon? That's a fair fight?
This is where you work?
Come on.
Oh!
Don't throw that away. That's the marrow. It's the best part of the bone.
Look who's here.
Well, if it isn't Siegfried and Roy.
Keep it quiet. Lucky, keep an eye out. You rats help him.
Hey, we don't work for you.
Give me a break. I saved your life.
That's yesterday's news. Take a hike.
"Get a hamster." You kill me! Get a hamster!
Lucky I gotta get help.
Yeah, I got a plate I.D. on the catnapper.
Do something!
The heart of a hawk. The heart of a hawk. The heart of a hawk.
A chicken hawk!
The heart of a hawk! Aah!
Oh.
What the hell is this?
No more bacon. No more chops.
Lucky One, two, three, four. You ain't getting through this door. No justice, no peace.
Make love, not war.
Lucky Fur is murder. Free Willy.
Pigs go home. Pigs go home. Pigs go home.
Hmm?
No, no, not you. The police.
Wow, this is great. Are you okay?
The man's coming down hard, but we're holding strong.
Oh, I got such a chill.
Really?
Really.
I'm gonna give you a local. It's not gonna hurt. It'll feel like a little bee sting.
Ohh.
A little pressure. That's about it. Okay? Here I come.
Okay.
He can't do this. He still thinks he can talk to animals.
He can, Lisa. He can talk to animals. It all started when he was a kid. I didn't know what to do.
What are you saying, Dad?
I thought it was a handicap, but it's a gift, Lisa. Don't you believe it? Look, look, look. See for yourself.
I need you to stay alert and tell me if you feel any numbness in your paws or on down your right side.
Have you ever done this operation before?
Oh, yeah, once in medical school, but it was to a cadaver. But my professor told me I did such good job that had my patient not been dead, he would've lived.
Very comforting, Doc.
Okay.
It's like Noah's ark out here. It truly is a remarkable sight. This odd collection of animals has actually prevented San Francisco's finest from entering the building. Which is apparently where the stolen tiger is being held.
Okay, we're open. Gene, irrigate, please. All right, Jake, I need you to be alert. Tell me if you feel anything at all. Can you feel anything now?
No. Just the same old pain.
How about now? You feeling any numbness at all?
I... I can't. I don't know.
Just relax and listen to the sound of my voice, okay?
I'm scared.
Don't be scared. I'm not gonna let you go.
John? What did he say?
He said he's a little scared.
His dura is bulging. There's too much pressure.
Uh-oh. My left side went numb.
Pulse still dropping.
Okay, all right. Hey, you just hang in there, okay, Jacob? Hang in there for me.
Okay, Doc.
It's a blood clot. It has to be. All I gotta do is find it. We're too close to his motor strip. A little more suction, Gene. I got to be able to see.
We're losing him. We got to relieve pressure.
Come on, Jake.
Don't let go yet. We're almost there, all right? We're almost there.
I can feel it. There. That's it.
There? Okay. Okay, here we go.
Blood pressure stabilising.
He's okay.
Lucky Yeah, Doc!
You are very welcome. You just lay back and relax. We're gonna have you back in the center ring in no time.
Hey, Doc! Why'd you go and do that? If he tries to eat me again, I'm going to smack that mustache off your face.
Lucky Hey, Doc, wait up. So, you're going to treat both humans and animals? I love it.
Yeah, well, it's no big thing. We're all basically the same, you know?
Lucky My thoughts exactly. Okay, first, I want to move my bowl up on the dining-room table. Second, no more dog food. That stuff's just gross. I want my own room, with a TV. Basic cable will be fine.
I hate stories with happy endings.
Yoo-hoo.
What you say?
I didn't say nothing.
Then, who?
Aah! Run! Run for your lives! Oh, my God!
Let's go, buddy!
I don't want to die! I'm too young to die!
Hang a left. No, hang a right. Look out for the traffic!
Oh, legs, do your thing. Out of my way.
This circle of life really stinks!
[Rat #2 screams]
Lisa
Kristen Wilson
Rodney
Chris Rock
Mark
Oliver Platt
Maya
Kyla Pratt
Jacob
Archer
Ossie Davis
Gene
Richard Schiff
Male Pigeon
Garry Shandling
Rat #1
Reni Santoni
Rat #2
John Leguizamo
Drunk Monkey
Female Pigeon
Julie Kavner
Calloway
Peter Boyle
Charisse
Raven-Symoné
Woman
Beth Grant
Blaine
Paul Giamatti
Man
Mrs. Parkus
Cherie Franklin
Owl
Jenna Elfman
