[narrating]
And after a while, all he could remember was that down inside, there was something missing. And just like his dad wanted, he grew up to be a normal, regular guy-- you know, miserable.
Hey, hey, get out of here! Hey! Haah! Haah! Haah! Haah haah! Haah!
[dog whimpers, urinating]
Stupid mutt. A vicious animal's in the hallway.
[Rodney chittering] [narrating]
And did I mention he was a father? A lot like his own father, who was a father to him before he himself became a-- Ahem. Oh, look, she's got a giant egg.
My name isn't Charisse. I have changed my name to Paprika.
Paprika? Paprika Dolittle. That has a nice ring to it.
Not Dolittle, just Paprika.
Well, I don't understand it. What is that about? What's Paprika about?
Lisa You know, salt and pepper? Paprika?
Oh, oh, Okay. Paprika. I get it.
I think Paprika is a beautiful name.
[telephone ringing]
Really? Well, I think Paprika sounds like a seasoning.
He doesn't take anything we want seriously.
Yes, Mark. Yes, I did go over the proposal. I think it's unbelievable. Okay, I'm on my way in now.
Lisa Maya, where are you going with that?
It's for my swan egg I found in the park.
Really? It looks like it'd be a good omelet.
Dad, it's gonna hatch any day now.
Well, you're gonna miss that cause you're gonna be at camp.
But, Dad, I can't go to camp, cause when a baby bird hatches, the first thing it sees, it bonds with it. I want it to be me.
You know, Maya, it is not normal or healthy for you to spend all your time with your little experiments. You know what would be a good experiment for you? For you to spend some time with some kids your own age at camp, which is exactly where you're going Sunday. You're being dropped off at camp.
You mean dumping me off. What about my pet egg?
Here. Here's half a dozen pet eggs to take with you at camp.
Lisa Oh, stop it.
I don't know what all the fuss is about. We went and bought you that thing anyway. You got a pet. What was that pet rat thing we bought?
ML Maya, Lisa and Charisse
A guinea pig.
We got you the guiena rat, and the thing died. It's not our fault it died.
It didn't die. His name is Rodney, and he's in my room.
The thing still-- so why are you bothering me about the swan? I'm going to work. I'm out of here. Good-bye. Bye-bye. Good-- Have a nice day, everybody. Nice day.
[door opens and closes]
Rodney's is lost! He's not in his cage!
Well, Y'all gonna get going. I'll find your hamster for you.
Whatever. It's a rodent. I'll find the rodent. Hey, Nutmeg, let's go! You better wipe that look off your face. Yeah, that's a little better. Your daughter's turning into a little wise-a**.
Lisa She's turning into a little you. You know, there's more to this HMO deal than money. You sell, they own you.
Lisa, this is gonna will be good for us. Watch.
Lisa I am so tired of that rap. It's always for us, John, but sometimes I don't know who us is.
What do you mean, you don't know who us is? Us is us. Me and you and Maya and Charisse, Lisa. Lisa, the more money you have, the more time you can spend with your family. That's the way it boils down. That's true. And in the meantime you're just gonna have to make do and be happy with this beautiful, fancy sports car you always wanted. Right here, beautiful.
Lisa Oh, my God, John. You didn't!
No, I didn't. The van's around the corner. But I saw how fluttery you got, so don't tell me you don't care about money. [imitating Lisa]: "Oh John, you didn't! You didn't!"
Lisa That's not funny.
[imitating Lisa]
: "Oh, John".
So, Daddy, you have to find Rodney.
I'll find Rodney for you. I'll put down some of that sticky paper.
No, don't put down the sticky paper!
Don't worry. The sticky paper's fine. You peel him right off it and he'll live. Tell you what. I will turn the house upside down and I will find Rodney for you. Yes? Okay?
Just bring him with you. And call me if my egg starts to hatch.
I will call you if your egg starts to hatch.
Lisa Where are you? Are you all right?
Lisa Are you sure?
No. really. I just freaked out a little bit.
Lisa What's wrong?
Well, I got lot of stress live been under.
Lisa From what?
The merger and the practice. It's all just kind of come to a head. I'm sorry.
Lisa Okay, John, just come back out here, okay?
Yeah, I'm on my w... Yeah, I'm on my way out now.
Yeah, I'll see you in a few.
Lisa John? John?
Why on earth would a guy go into a line of work like that?
All right. That's it for you. Hit the road. Get out of here.
You are not my pet. If I were gonna get a pet, I wouldn't get one as annoying as you. Now get out. Go.
Hey, hey, don't worry about it. You sprung me from the joint, you fixed me up, I'm thankful.
Don't worry about me. I'll just be going down the road, disappearing without a trace. I hope a car doesn't hit me. Oh, well, one less dog.
Hey, baby. How you doing?
Am I gonna see you before I go to camp?
Honey, I'm really working on it.
Mommy, guess what. Daddy got me a dog.
No, no, no, no. Daddy, didn't...
Lisa Hey. Is that what you've been up to, you sneak?
Ruff! Choo! What? I have allergies.
Yeah, I guess we'll see you at camp.
Grandpa, Daddy got me a dog! He got me a dog. Can you believe it? My own dog.
Look, they're gonna want to know your name.
We're gonna have to think of one.
Let me see. A little girl once called me, '"Please, Mommy, not him." How about that?
Nah, that's not gonna work. You got red hair. How about Lucy?
Lucy? Yes, I like that. Lucy. Good name. Yeah, just one problem. I'm a guy.
Perfect. Lucky, yes. Hi, I'm Lucky. Hey, it works on two levels. I love it.
That's my daughter. Be nice.
Oh, you got me a dog. Oh, he's adorable. Oh, you're such a cute dog.
[Lucky barks]
What's his name?
He does a pretty neat trick with a thermometer that's kind of funny. Hey, baby.
Lisa Hey, baby. You got her a dog.
Yeah, well, I got us a dog.
CA Camp Announcer
Welcome to Camp Hawkeye.
Lisa Are you okay?
CA Camp Announcer
Counselors, gather your groups.
Yeah. Come on, let's get you all set up here.
Lisa Come on, Maya.
Look at this nice rabbit on your door. Isn't that nice? This is nice.
Lisa Yeah!
What a fun cabin. You smell the air here? What a wonderful place. What a wonderful camp.
Daddy, can I go home with you and Lucky?
Hey, Maya. Look, here's the deal. You stay here for a little while, have a great time, then Lucky's all yours.
Three weeks is a long time. Couldn't I just go home with...
Listen, you're gonna have a great time. When you get older you're gonna thank me, cause you'll have so many friends. You'll see. You'll see. You'll see.
Lisa You have knots all over the place.
I'm all messed up. I'm falling apart.
Lisa How's that feel?
Excuse me one second, okay?
Lisa Okay.
Excuse me just one second.
You mind if I have a little privacy, please?
Oh, yeah, but it's fine when people watch us do it, huh?
Fine to turn on the garden hose.
Hey, you want a tip on a good position?
Lisa You were barking.
Well, I'm excited. When I get excited, I make all kinds of sounds. Ruff!
Lisa You never barked before.
Yoo-hoo, Doc. We got trouble here.
D Duck
[ducks chattering]
Let's go.
Hey! No, no. You take care the ducks. I'll take the goat.
Me? All right. I'll get the ducks.
Lisa What's going on out there?
Uh, Mark just showed up. So I'm gonna have to go over the proposal. We have to go over a few things.
G Goat
Come on. Let's move it.
Don't do that. Lucky out here. He wants me to take him for a walk first, so I got to take Lucky for a walk that, then I got to deal with Mark.
Lisa Great. I'll see you in the morning. I'll be the one cooking breakfast.
Uh, tomorrow. Ruff! Oh, hey, Mark. Hi, how you doing? You're trying to destroy my life, all of you, aren't you? Freeze! Stop right there! Don't you move. What are you doing? Why are you in the hallway this time of night?
I have to go to the bathroom. What are you doing?
I'm p-p-patrolling the hallways. I'm the father. I patrol these halls to make sure everything is safe while you're asleep. I patrol these halls. You wait. Don't you move. The reason you're up this time of night going to the bathroom's is cause you spend too much time drinking all those liquids. Too many liquids. You're having too many liquids. I think that you're old enough to hold it in, so go on back to bed.
Well, Lucky's in the bathroom right now.
The dog is using the bathroom?
[toilet flushes]
Let me make sure he put the seat down. Then it's your turn, okay? Don't you move from there.
D Duck
Hey, hey, hey! You heard of knocking?
Hey, one quack. Not one quack. Hey. Here's the toilet. It's all down like you all like it, ready for you. No little sprinklets on it or anything. It's just waiting for you to come and do your thing.
Dad, I don't need adult supervision.
G Goat
Somebody get this thing off me.
Come here. Hey, hey, hey!
G Goat
Get this thing off. Uhh! [choking] Hey, take it easy. Don't gag me.
[toilet flushes]
Good night, Dad.
Oh, good night. Good night, honey.
Where the hell have you been?
I had an emergency. Excuse me. Sorry.
Does it hurt when I do this?
It ain't no day at the dump.
If he dies... [sniffles] I don't know what I'll do.
He'll drag me outside and eat me.
[rats squeaking]
Guys, you want to be quiet? I can't hear while you're talking.
Lisa John.
He said he was suffering from severe abdominal cramps.
Lisa He said?
You know I wouldn't be working on this rat unless it was an emergency. Come take a look for yourself.
I think he's gone into arrest.
Oh, my God! He's a goner! He's a goner!
Hey, Mark, maybe we should shock him, huh?
The paddles will be too big. Come on. We have to give him C.P.R. You know how to do C.P.R?
C.P.R? I can't even spell it.
Oh, I can't even look. Doc! Doc, no!
Ohh, for God's sakes. You didn't even wine him or dine him, Doc. No, Doc, Doc. I think my friend would rather die. He rather die.
Pfft pfft! Come on, come on.
Lisa John!
Lisa, not now! I'm trying to save somebody here!
Lisa Honey.
[passes gas]
I'm hungry. [passes gas]
There's nothing wrong with him. He just has gas.
Ha, ha. You're back. He's got gas. I don't care if you stink. I love you, pal.
Thanks a lot, little buddy. I felt your presence.
Lisa, stop looking at me like that.
[telephone ringing]
Pick it up. Pick the phone up, please.
Lisa Hi, we're not here. Leave a message.
[beeping]
Hey. Hi, it's me. I'm really starting to miss you guys. I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing in here, too. Maybe you were right. Maybe it was whole thing all my imagination.
Hey, honey! Feeling better?
I'll give you a hint. I'm cute, I'm furry and I make 500 babies a year.
Rodney! Get back in your cage!
Hey, Doc, what's up with that trap behind the fridge? You trying to kill me?
Never mind that! Get your little furry back in your cage, Rodney! Right now! I don't want your droppings on... Bye-bye. My son Rodney. Little hairy boy, sleeps in the cage. I have to keep him in the cage cause he has hygiene problems.
Hey, beautiful, how are you?
Lisa John.
Lisa Wh...? Why didn't you call me?
I wanted to surprise you. Hey, why aren't you in camp, young lady?
You're just gonna have to try a little harder next year. Come here. Give me a hug. I missed you. Still Daddy's baby, huh?
Lisa Honey?
Lisa Do they know that you left?
No, I escaped. Of course they know I left. They released me. They told me I was better. Time to come home spend some time with my family.
Ahem. Are you not talking to me?
Lisa You're sure you're okay?
Lisa Cause I got scared, wondering when you were coming home.
Well, I am back and I'm fine, and everything's gonna be just like it was in the old days.
[Lisa laughs]
Okay, I know what you're doing. Well, two can play at that game. I don't have to listen to you, either.
You know, uh, honey, I was thinking maybe we should get rid of that dog.
I ain't listening to him! Coming home empty-handed! Don't tell me there wasn't a gift shop at the loony bin!
Lisa All right. Come on, girls. Let's go.
Maya, let me talk to you a second. We'll be in there in a second.
Lisa Okay.
Hey, listen. I don't think your egg is a stupid idea. It's think it's kind of cool.
Yes, I do. You have curiosity and a lot of ideas, and that's what makes you special.
No, I didn't say weird. I said special. Being weird's is not such a bad thing. A lot of greatest people in history were considered weird when they came on the scene.
Lots of people. Albert Einstein. When he showed up with his crazy hair, people thought he was weird. A guy that smart was weird to people. Muhammad Ali. When he showed up on the stage saying what round he was gonna knock out people in and screaming, "I'm the greatest," people thought that was strange, you know. Kind of weird, super weird. And Joan of Arc, she heard voices.
Yeah, like me. Listen, this is what I'm trying to tell you. No matter what happens, you be who you are and you love who you are cause I love you. Gimme a kiss. Yes.
You know, dad, you're a great person.
And a weird one too. See you inside.
[sniffing]
That was beautiful, man.
Hey, Lucky! What are you doing here?
Yes, I do. Right in the back in that pocket over there. Listen. I'm sorry I ignored you back at the house.
You were the one who said "Be who you are." You were right.
You put me back in touch with the part of me that I'd forgotten years ago.
Can you take it easy for second? I'm trying to say something.
I'm trying to say it. What do you think I'm trying to say?
No, no, that's not what I'm trying to say.
That is not what I'm trying to tell you.
Oh, come on. Deep down inside. That's exactly what you want to say. Come on, now. You'll feel a lot better. Come on. Let it out. Go ahead. You know it. I know it.
You love me? Oh, I'm gonna need another tissue. Where are we off to?
We are off to ruin my life.
Lisa [to Archer]
He's not at home and he's not answering his pager. I'm starting to get worried.
Lisa Yes?
Guess who Maya brought to the party.
Rodney! Rodney, there you are. Rodney! Oh, man.
Where the hell is Dolittle?
You know, I just talked to him. He stopped at an orphanage to take care of a sick child. That is so John. It's so typical of the man. He just cares.
Weller. Take your lips off my butt long enough to hear what I'm going to say. If Dolittle's not here in ten minutes, I'm pulling the plug. You won't have to.
You're not going to have to do that, sir. He's at the orphanage. He's gonna be here in five minutes.
Yeah, he really will be here in five minutes. P***.
C Cameraman
20 bucks says this guy never shows.
Watch your back, everybody. Trying to get to the operating room. Clear the way, please.
Outta the way, please. Outta the way.
Clear a spot. We have an emergency here. Ladies and gentlemen, please. Clear the way, please. Coming through. Coming through.
There you are. Let's do this.
Uh, Mr. Calloway, Mark broke his nose.
The nose can wait. The press is waiting.
Come on, partners. We're announcing.
I really don't know if we should leave Mark with his nose...
Lisa Where were you? I'll explain.
Thank you all for coming, and thank you all for being so patient. As you all know, the practice of medicine and the business of medicine have been undergoing very big changes in this country. We at Calnet strive to be at the forefront of these changes. That is why I'm proud to announce the acquisition of one of San Francisco's...
This is the life! Hot wings, nuts. I love nuts.
[Jacob growling, crowd screaming]
That's a big cat.
It's all right. It's okay. It's all right. It's okay. He's not gonna hurt anybody. He's just a very, very sick tiger.
You'd better have a rational explanation for all this.
You know, Mr. Calloway, I don't have a rational explanation for this. I wish I did, but I don't. Right now, I got a really sick tiger on my hands. I'm going to go back and try to save it. That's the only all that matters.
Dolittle, you go through with this...
[Jacob roaring, crowd screaming]
So if you'll excuse me.
Stupid cat. Ruined the party.
What do you mean, shut up? I was gonna do karaoke.
P Policeman
[police car sirens]
What the hell is this?
P Pig
No more bacon. No more chops.
One, two, three, four. You ain't getting through this door. No justice, no peace.
Fur is murder. Free Willy.
Pigs go home. Pigs go home. Pigs go home.
No, no, not you. The police.
Wow, this is great. Are you okay?
The man's coming down hard, but we're holding strong.
I'm gonna give you a local. It's not gonna hurt. It'll feel like a little bee sting.
A little pressure. That's about it. Okay? Here I come.
Lisa He can't do this. He still thinks he can talk to animals.
He can, Lisa. He can talk to animals. It all started when he was a kid. I didn't know what to do.
Lisa What are you saying, Dad?
I thought it was a handicap, but it's a gift, Lisa. Don't you believe it? Look, look, look. See for yourself.
I need you to stay alert and tell me if you feel any numbness in your paws or on down your right side.
Have you ever done this operation before?
Oh, yeah, once in medical school, but it was to a cadaver. But my professor told me I did such good job that had my patient not been dead, he would've lived.
R Reporter
It's like Noah's ark out here. It truly is a remarkable sight. This odd collection of animals has actually prevented San Francisco's finest from entering the building. Which is apparently where the stolen tiger is being held.
Okay, we're open. Gene, irrigate, please. All right, Jake, I need you to be alert. Tell me if you feel anything at all. Can you feel anything now?
No. Just the same old pain.
How about now? You feeling any numbness at all?
I... I can't. I don't know.
Just relax and listen to the sound of my voice, okay?
Don't be scared. I'm not gonna let you go.
Lisa John? What did he say?
He said he's a little scared.
[machine beeping]
Pulse is dropping fast.
His dura is bulging. There's too much pressure.
Uh-oh. My left side went numb.
Okay, all right. Hey, you just hang in there, okay, Jacob? Hang in there for me.
It's a blood clot. It has to be. All I gotta do is find it. We're too close to his motor strip. A little more suction, Gene. I got to be able to see.
We're losing him. We got to relieve pressure.
Lisa Come on, Jake.
Don't let go yet. We're almost there, all right? We're almost there.
I can feel it. There. That's it.
There? Okay. Okay, here we go.
[beeping stops]
It's gone. The pain is gone.
Blood pressure stabilising.
[Lisa laughs]
It's gone. It's really gone.
[crowd cheering]
Yeah, Doc!
[animals cheering]
Thank you.
You are very welcome. You just lay back and relax. We're gonna have you back in the center ring in no time.
Hey, Doc! Why'd you go and do that? If he tries to eat me again, I'm going to smack that mustache off your face.
