Maya quotes from Doctor Dolittle (1998)

Maya

Can I tell you a secret?

Archer

Yeah, sure.

Maya

When Mommy told me what happened to Daddy, I wasn't afraid, I was happy because I believed that he could talk to animals. I want Dad to be weird, just like me. Is that wrong?

Archer

No. No, it's not wrong.

Maya

Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much.

Archer

Honey, he loves you.

Maya

I know he loves me, but I don't think he likes me and I want him to. I gonna try to do things his way, Grandpa, and stop doing these stupid experiments.

Lucky

And after a while, all he could remember was that down inside, there was something missing. And just like his dad wanted, he grew up to be a normal, regular guy-- you know, miserable.

Hey, hey, get out of here! Hey! Haah! Haah! Haah! Haah haah! Haah!

Stupid mutt. A vicious animal's in the hallway.

Lucky

And did I mention he was a father? A lot like his own father, who was a father to him before he himself became a-- Ahem. Oh, look, she's got a giant egg.

Good morning, Charisse.

Charisse

My name isn't Charisse. I have changed my name to Paprika.

Paprika? Paprika Dolittle. That has a nice ring to it.

Charisse

Not Dolittle, just Paprika.

Well, I don't understand it. What is that about? What's Paprika about?

Lisa

You know, salt and pepper? Paprika?

Oh, oh, Okay. Paprika. I get it.

Maya

I think Paprika is a beautiful name.

Really? Well, I think Paprika sounds like a seasoning.

Dolittle.

Maya

He doesn't take anything we want seriously.

Charisse

Tell me about it.

Yes, Mark. Yes, I did go over the proposal. I think it's unbelievable. Okay, I'm on my way in now.

Lisa

Maya, where are you going with that?

Maya

It's for my swan egg I found in the park.

Really? It looks like it'd be a good omelet.

Maya

Dad, it's gonna hatch any day now.

Well, you're gonna miss that cause you're gonna be at camp.

Maya

But, Dad, I can't go to camp, cause when a baby bird hatches, the first thing it sees, it bonds with it. I want it to be me.

You know, Maya, it is not normal or healthy for you to spend all your time with your little experiments. You know what would be a good experiment for you? For you to spend some time with some kids your own age at camp, which is exactly where you're going Sunday. You're being dropped off at camp.

Maya

You mean dumping me off. What about my pet egg?

Here. Here's half a dozen pet eggs to take with you at camp.

Lisa

Oh, stop it.

I don't know what all the fuss is about. We went and bought you that thing anyway. You got a pet. What was that pet rat thing we bought?

A guinea pig.

We got you the guiena rat, and the thing died. It's not our fault it died.

Maya

It didn't die. His name is Rodney, and he's in my room.

The thing still-- so why are you bothering me about the swan? I'm going to work. I'm out of here. Good-bye. Bye-bye. Good-- Have a nice day, everybody. Nice day.
[door opens and closes]

Maya

Rodney's is lost! He's not in his cage!

Well, Y'all gonna get going. I'll find your hamster for you.

Maya

He's a guinea pig.

Whatever. It's a rodent. I'll find the rodent. Hey, Nutmeg, let's go! You better wipe that look off your face. Yeah, that's a little better. Your daughter's turning into a little wise-a**.

Lisa

She's turning into a little you. You know, there's more to this HMO deal than money. You sell, they own you.

Lisa, this is gonna will be good for us. Watch.

Lisa

I am so tired of that rap. It's always for us, John, but sometimes I don't know who us is.

What do you mean, you don't know who us is? Us is us. Me and you and Maya and Charisse, Lisa. Lisa, the more money you have, the more time you can spend with your family. That's the way it boils down. That's true. And in the meantime you're just gonna have to make do and be happy with this beautiful, fancy sports car you always wanted. Right here, beautiful.

Lisa

Oh, my God, John. You didn't!

No, I didn't. The van's around the corner. But I saw how fluttery you got, so don't tell me you don't care about money. [imitating Lisa]: "Oh John, you didn't! You didn't!"

Lisa

That's not funny.

: "Oh, John".

Maya

So, Daddy, you have to find Rodney.

I'll find Rodney for you. I'll put down some of that sticky paper.

Maya

No, don't put down the sticky paper!

Don't worry. The sticky paper's fine. You peel him right off it and he'll live. Tell you what. I will turn the house upside down and I will find Rodney for you. Yes? Okay?

Maya

Just bring him with you. And call me if my egg starts to hatch.

I will call you if your egg starts to hatch.

Lucky

Why on earth would a guy go into a line of work like that?

All right. That's it for you. Hit the road. Get out of here.

Lucky

What? But I'm your pet.

You are not my pet. If I were gonna get a pet, I wouldn't get one as annoying as you. Now get out. Go.

Lucky

Hey, hey, don't worry about it. You sprung me from the joint, you fixed me up, I'm thankful.

Yeah. Just go.

Lucky

Don't worry about me. I'll just be going down the road, disappearing without a trace. I hope a car doesn't hit me. Oh, well, one less dog.

Dolittle.

Maya

Hi, Daddy.

Hey, baby. How you doing?

Maya

Am I gonna see you before I go to camp?

Honey, I'm really working on it.

Lucky

Ruff! Ruff!

Get out of here. Go.

Lucky

Ruff!

Maya

Daddy, is that a dog?

Yeah, that's a dog.

Lucky

Ruff!

Maya

Mommy, guess what. Daddy got me a dog.

No, no, no, no. Daddy, didn't...

Lisa

Hey. Is that what you've been up to, you sneak?

You caught me.

Lucky

Ruff! Choo! What? I have allergies.

Yeah, I guess we'll see you at camp.

Lucky

Ruff! Ruff!

Maya

Grandpa, Daddy got me a dog! He got me a dog. Can you believe it? My own dog.

Archer

My own?

Woman

Hi.

Hi.

Look, they're gonna want to know your name.

Lucky

I don't have one.

We're gonna have to think of one.

Lucky

Let me see. A little girl once called me, '"Please, Mommy, not him." How about that?

Nah, that's not gonna work. You got red hair. How about Lucy?

Lucky

Lucy? Yes, I like that. Lucy. Good name. Yeah, just one problem. I'm a guy.

Really? How about Lucky?

Lucky

Perfect. Lucky, yes. Hi, I'm Lucky. Hey, it works on two levels. I love it.

Maya

Daddy!

That's my daughter. Be nice.

Maya

Oh, you got me a dog. Oh, he's adorable. Oh, you're such a cute dog.

Maya

What's his name?

His name is Lucky.

Maya

Does he do any tricks?

He does a pretty neat trick with a thermometer that's kind of funny. Hey, baby.

Lisa

Hey, baby. You got her a dog.

Yeah, well, I got us a dog.

Welcome to Camp Hawkeye.

Lisa

Are you okay?

Counselors, gather your groups.

Yeah. Come on, let's get you all set up here.

Lisa

Come on, Maya.

Look at this nice rabbit on your door. Isn't that nice? This is nice.

Lisa

Yeah!

What a fun cabin. You smell the air here? What a wonderful place. What a wonderful camp.

Maya

Daddy, can I go home with you and Lucky?

Hey, Maya. Look, here's the deal. You stay here for a little while, have a great time, then Lucky's all yours.

Maya

Three weeks is a long time. Couldn't I just go home with...

No camp, no dog.

Maya

Okay, I'll stay.

Listen, you're gonna have a great time. When you get older you're gonna thank me, cause you'll have so many friends. You'll see. You'll see. You'll see.

Daddy's home!

Charisse

Daddy? Hey, Daddy!

Hey, beautiful, how are you?

Charisse

Oh, I'm fine.

Lisa

John.

Hey, baby. Mmm.

Lisa

Wh...? Why didn't you call me?

I wanted to surprise you. Hey, why aren't you in camp, young lady?

Charisse

Mom brought her home.

Maya

I didn't fit in.

You're just gonna have to try a little harder next year. Come here. Give me a hug. I missed you. Still Daddy's baby, huh?

Lisa

Honey?

Hmm?

Lisa

Do they know that you left?

No, I escaped. Of course they know I left. They released me. They told me I was better. Time to come home spend some time with my family.

Lucky

Ahem. Are you not talking to me?

Lisa

You're sure you're okay?

Oh, yeah. I'm fine.

Lisa

Cause I got scared, wondering when you were coming home.

Well, I am back and I'm fine, and everything's gonna be just like it was in the old days.

Lucky

Okay, I know what you're doing. Well, two can play at that game. I don't have to listen to you, either.

You know, uh, honey, I was thinking maybe we should get rid of that dog.

Rodney

I ain't listening to him! Coming home empty-handed! Don't tell me there wasn't a gift shop at the loony bin!

Maya

This is where he lives, and this is where he exercises.

Archer

Does he do aerobics?

Maya

Yeah, the guinea pig aerobics.

Let's get this show on the road. Hey, hey, put that thing away. We don't have time. You're gonna get your dress dirty. Pop, will you help out, please? I can't be late for this.

Maya

But Rodney wants to come.

Absolutely not. Rodney cannot come. This is a press conference for people. No animals allowed. No Rodney, no way.

Maya

Why don't you tell him he can't home? He'll listen to you.

No, I am not going to tell him he can't come. Help out. Come on, Pops.

Maya

Can I tell you a secret?

Archer

Yeah, sure.

Maya

When Mommy told me what happened to Daddy, I wasn't afraid, I was happy, because I believed that he could talk to animals. I want Dad to be weird, just like me. Is that wrong?

Archer

No. No, it's not wrong.

Maya

It's just sometimes, I don't think he likes me very much.

Archer

Honey, he loves you.

Maya

I know he loves me, but I don't think he likes me. And I really want him to. I'm gonna try to do things his way, Grandpa, and stop doing these stupid experiments.

Archer

No, Maya. Don't stop your experiments. Sometimes... daddies are the ones who need to change. [looks pointedly at John]

Let me park this car.

Lisa

All right. Come on, girls. Let's go.

Maya, let me talk to you a second. We'll be in there in a second.

Lisa

Okay.

Hey, listen. I don't think your egg is a stupid idea. It's think it's kind of cool.

Maya

You do?

Yes, I do. You have curiosity and a lot of ideas, and that's what makes you special.

Maya

You mean weird.

No, I didn't say weird. I said special. Being weird's is not such a bad thing. A lot of greatest people in history were considered weird when they came on the scene.

Maya

Like who?

Lots of people. Albert Einstein. When he showed up with his crazy hair, people thought he was weird. A guy that smart was weird to people. Muhammad Ali. When he showed up on the stage saying what round he was gonna knock out people in and screaming, "I'm the greatest," people thought that was strange, you know. Kind of weird, super weird. And Joan of Arc, she heard voices.

Maya

Like you, Daddy?

Yeah, like me. Listen, this is what I'm trying to tell you. No matter what happens, you be who you are and you love who you are cause I love you. Gimme a kiss. Yes.

Maya

You know, dad, you're a great person.

Oh, thank you.

Maya

And a weird one too. See you inside.

Okay. [sighs]

Lucky

That was beautiful, man.

Hey, Lucky! What are you doing here?

Lucky

Do you have a tissue?

Yes, I do. Right in the back in that pocket over there. Listen. I'm sorry I ignored you back at the house.

You were the one who said "Be who you are." You were right.

You put me back in touch with the part of me that I'd forgotten years ago.

Can you take it easy for second? I'm trying to say something.

Lucky

Well, then just say it.

I'm trying to say it. What do you think I'm trying to say?

Lucky

"I love you, Lucky."

No, no, that's not what I'm trying to say.

Lucky

Oh, yes, it is.

That is not what I'm trying to tell you.

Lucky

Oh, come on. Deep down inside. That's exactly what you want to say. Come on, now. You'll feel a lot better. Come on. Let it out. Go ahead. You know it. I know it.

I love you.

Lucky

You love me? Oh, I'm gonna need another tissue. Where are we off to?

We are off to ruin my life.

Lisa

He's not at home and he's not answering his pager. I'm starting to get worried.

Charisse

Mom.

Lisa

Yes?

Charisse

Guess who Maya brought to the party.

Maya

Rodney! Rodney, there you are. Rodney! Oh, man.

Calloway

Where the hell is Dolittle?

Mark

You know, I just talked to him. He stopped at an orphanage to take care of a sick child. That is so John. It's so typical of the man. He just cares.

Calloway

Weller. Take your lips off my butt long enough to hear what I'm going to say. If Dolittle's not here in ten minutes, I'm pulling the plug. You won't have to.

Mark

You're not going to have to do that, sir. He's at the orphanage. He's gonna be here in five minutes.

Calloway

I hope so.

Mark

Yeah, he really will be here in five minutes. P***.

Woman

Hey. How you doing?

Rodney

Where's the kitchen at? I got to get in here. Where's the food?

Maya

Rodney.

Rodney

Uh-oh. She's coming to get me.

Maya

Rodney.

Woman in bathroom

Who's Rodney?

Maya

Sorry. Rodney? Rodney?

Rodney

This ain't no kitchen. Smell bad. Must be cooking chitlins. And what's this for? Hey! Hey! [muffled yelling] Somebody help me. Hey! What the-- [glubbing and splashing] I can't swim.

Mrs. Parkus

AAH!

Rodney

AAAGGGHHH YOURSELF!! [toilet flushes] Where you going? Get me outta here. Hey! Somebody get the license plate number. I have just been violated. Whoa!