You're not a real bear. You're Wayne Newton in a bear suit.
So dirty. Look at my paws.
It's the woods, Archie. Its chief component is dirt.
Wait. Hey, Doc, is that her? She's a babe.
Oh. Look at the way she moves. Man, would I love to see her wet.
I tell you what. I'm gonna go over and introduce you. You just wait over there. Okay?
Yeah, good. Hey, tell her I really dig her fat pouch, but don't be crude.
I'll try to work that in.
Okay, good. Wait, hey... Gah!
Ava Are you coming over here? I'm a little busy foraging.
[Dr. Dolittle meets a Pacific Western bear named Ava and makes a proposition]
Hi.
Ava Hi.
Ava I'm Ava.
Hi, Ava. That's a pretty name. Nice to meet you.
Ava Hi.
Hey, uh, quick question, Ava. How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
Ava You're real cute, but I don't go interspecies.
I'm not talking about me. I shoulding have said man. I should've said bear. The bear of your dreams. What do you think of that big, magnificent hunk of bear there?
Ava Um, I don't think I see him. Oh, is he standing behind that dork?
Oh, no, he is... Look, let me explain to you what's going on, all right? There's a logging company that's gonna tear down this whole forest, everything. The only thing that can stop 'em... is if I can get two Pacific Western bears together. You're a Pacific Western bear, and so is he. If I can get you together and you made little Pacific Western bears, then-- You see where I'm going with this?
Ava Uh-huh, yeah. [walks away] Look, no offense, but I don't talk to bear pimps.
Hey, wait a minute. At least let me call him over so you can meet him. Archie, come over here.
Hey, Johnny, there you are. Come on. I thought we were gonna go work out. Jeez.
Get to know her a little. Tell her about yourself.
Hi! I'm Archie. [nervous chuckle] I like moonlit walks on the beach, uh, sharing slop buckets with that special someone, and the soulful sounds of the Backstreet Boys.
Ava You're very weird.
Ava No, just weird.
Hey, Archie, uh, why don't you let me take it from here? That was good.
What do you think of Archie? Cute?
Ava Oh, don't make me eat you.
Stop that. He's a little uncomfortable around the female species at first--
Ava That's not even really the point. I need a real bear, someone who can hunt and protect and provide for me.
Oh. Okay. I can understand that.
Ava Oh, and I'm already involved with someone.
Really? You have a boyfriend already-a "bearfriend." Are you in love this bear?
Ava "Love"? My cousin married for love, and the next thing she knows... he's two-timing her with this hot little grizzly in a cave up north.
Okay, so you're not in love?
Ava No.
All right, let's make a deal. Don't make any decisions for a month. I'm gonna go work with Archie, and in a month's time I'm gonna turn that bear... into a bear that you'll be proud to have little bear cubs with.
Check it out! I've flipped for you... [crunch] Pinecone. Gah!
[French accent]
For you, madame.
Ava Thanks.
So does Sonny bring you fish?
Ava No. Not a fish. Usually about a hundred.
A hundred? Wait. No. He can't carry that many. Okay, but does Sonny tell you that you have... the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen? Does he promise to fill your life with love, poetry, laughs?
Ava No. No. Mostly he just asks me when I think I'll be in heat.
[chuckles]
Prince Charming, huh?
Ava Yeah.
[chuckles]
So when is-when is that?
Ava [giggles]
Do you want to go for a walk?
Ava With me.
[Ava giggles]
This isn't a real walk at all. We're running. Why do we always need to run?
Ava Yeah. Bears have died reaching that hive.
Well, if you want it, you got it.
Ava Oh, please. Don't even think about it. That's not funny.
No. I'm gonna go get it for you.
Ava Archie, I'm serious. Don't. it's too dangerous. Promise me.
Okay. Okay. I like you, Ava.
Ava I like you too, Archie.
S Sonny
What are you girls doing over here?
Ava Sonny, don't.
S Sonny
Beat it, circus boy.
Ava Sonny...
S Sonny
Oh, you keep your yap shut.
[chuckles]
Your charm is matched only by your odor.
S Sonny
And what does that mean?
You're a malodorous ignoramus. It's nothing, really.
S Sonny
What's he saying? I'm confused. And I don't like being confused.
Ava Yeah, he really doesn't.
Really? Well, you think he'd get used to it, huh?
S Sonny
Let's go, Ava. Trying to confuse me. [mumbling]
Ava, don't go. Look, maybe you can do better than me, but don't do worse. I thought you liked me.
Ava Of course I do.
Ava But you'll always be a city bear. And I need more than that.
City bear. [sighs] Great.
Talking time's done. It's time to be bold for Ava.
H Hawk
He's going after the hive! He's going after the hive!
Boy, this cliff's higher than I remember.
So this is your big plan? Archie, you get back here right now! Come back in!
No way, Doc. I'm gonna do this or die trying.
That bear is one bad mother.
Archie, what are you doing? Archie, you get back in here right now. Stop playing!
I don't think I'm gonna win Ava by eating a bunch of worms. I'm never gonna feel happier than Sonny. I need to show her how much she means to me.
Yeah, and if you fall, it's gonna prove that you're stupid and dead, Archie.
S Sonny
What's going on around here? Oh, circus boy's got a new trick.
Ava Quiet, Sonny.
Okay, I got it. I got it.
That log ain't gonna hold him. And I know logs.
[log creaking]
Okay! Ohh!
Don't move, Archie! Don't move!
Ava Careful! Careful!
Ava Archie, get down!
[bees buzzing]
What's happening? Hold still! I'll talk to them. Work something out. Don't you move.
They're stinging me! No, no!
[Bees buzzing]
I can't see! Ooh! They're stinging! Get away from me!
No, no, no! No attack! Hey! Stop!
B1 Bee #1
Defend the hive!
B1 Bee #1
Get the little guy!
B1 Bee #1
[Bee #2 yelling] [Jack Riley gasps]
Protect the hive! Attack!
Archie! Archie! Hey, Archie! Hey! [grunting]
Ava [Archie yelling]
Archie!
Archie, get back in here!
S Sonny
Jump, circus boy!
Ava Go suck a salmon!
Good job, Archie! Way to go, Archie! All right!
P Porcupine
Woo! Woo! Woo!
That kid's got moxie. I love him.
Okay. Okay, what's the matter with you, huh? What'd you do something like that for, huh? Are you crazy?
S Sonny
I could have got that hive if I wanted it. Come on, Ava, before I get mad.
Ava Sonny, we're not working out. So, take a hike.
Ava Honey?
Ava No. I meant, would you like more honey?
Ava Okay.
So, ready to talk about preserving the species?
Ava Well, we could talk. Or you could count to a hundred and come and get me.
Okay. Counting, great. Um, one, two...
[Ava giggling]
One, two, three-
Ava Impressive. He's really counting.
Come on, focus, focus. Uh, one-
Ava Maybe I should stay in the open.
One, two, ten, G, H, P, green, orange, fish.
Ava Pace yourself. Not so fast.
Uh, one, two, three, ten... Uh, five-teen. Okay, 100. Ow! What the-Nap. [thud]
Bye-bye. Drive safe now. Buckle up.
Hey, Archie, you in there?
Man, I just stopped by to say so long.
Oh. Thanks. For everything.
Ava Archie, I'm ready.
She's in heat. Excuse me, Doc. I got to go save the species. [chuckles]
Oh. Go do your thing, Archie. Yeah, Archie. Archie! [chuckles] Oh, Archie.
[narrating]
Yeah, it was quite a summer.
Hey, Lucky. What are you doing?
What am I doing? Hmm. Let me phrase it this way. [clears throat, howling]
[wolf howling continues]
You too, huh?
[narrating]
And Charisse and the Doc were closer than ever.
Oh, come on. Cheer up, Pepito. You'll get it eventually.
No, I won't. I will never blend in. I have a broken blender.
You will blend in. Trust me. You will blend in.
How? How will Pepito ever blend in? Pepito sucks. [gasps] Look at me! I'm blending in! I'm invisible!
That's right. You're invisible. Great job, honey.
Did you ever doubt me? The blendmaster is back.
I am king of the third world. Hey, can we do the whole house like this? Is very feng shui.
[narrating]
But the best news of all came the following spring.
BB Boy Bear Cub
No, you don't know what you're talking about.
Kids, come on- Hey! Ooh! Over here! Kids! Whoo-hoo! Over here! Okay. Now, it's step, step, turn, kick, step.
GB Girl Bear Cub
Papa, I thought it was step, kick, turn, step, step.
Come on, kids. We open in six weeks.
Ava I thought you retired.
Oh. [chuckles] I did, honey. We're just playing. Okay, now from the chorus. Five, six, seven, eight...
A All
♪ I will survive I will survive ♪ ♪ For as long as I know how to love ♪ ♪ I know I'll stay alive ♪
♪ I've got all my life to live ♪ ♪ I've got all my love to give ♪ ♪ And I'll survive I will survive ♪ ♪ Hey, yeah ♪♪
[fades]
