Lisa Kudrow movie quotes

View Quote For me, it's like I've just given birth to my own baby girl, except she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot. You know?

View Quote You know, even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kind of fat, we were still totally cutting edge.

View Quote You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny.

View Quote John: You're not a real bear. You're Wayne Newton in a bear suit.
Archie: So dirty. Look at my paws.
John: It's the woods, Archie. Its chief component is dirt.
Archie: Wait. Hey, Doc, is that her? She's a babe.
John: Yeah, that's her.
Archie: Oh. Look at the way she moves. Man, would I love to see her wet.
John: I tell you what. I'm gonna go over and introduce you. You just wait over there. Okay?
Archie: Yeah, good. Hey, tell her I really dig her fat pouch, but don't be crude.
John: I'll try to work that in.
Archie: Okay, good. Wait, hey... Gah!
Ava: Are you coming over here? I'm a little busy foraging.
[Dr. Dolittle meets a Pacific Western bear named Ava and makes a proposition]
John: Hi.
Ava: Hi.
John: Hello. My name is John.
Ava: I'm Ava.
John: Hi, Ava. That's a pretty name. Nice to meet you.
Ava: Hi.
John: Hey, uh, quick question, Ava. How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
Ava: You're real cute, but I don't go interspecies.
John: I'm not talking about me. I shoulding have said man. I should've said bear. The bear of your dreams. What do you think of that big, magnificent hunk of bear there?
Ava: Um, I don't think I see him. Oh, is he standing behind that dork?
John: Oh, no, he is... Look, let me explain to you what's going on, all right? There's a logging company that's gonna tear down this whole forest, everything. The only thing that can stop 'em... is if I can get two Pacific Western bears together. You're a Pacific Western bear, and so is he. If I can get you together and you made little Pacific Western bears, then-- You see where I'm going with this?
Ava: Uh-huh, yeah. [walks away] Look, no offense, but I don't talk to bear pimps.
John: Hey, wait a minute. At least let me call him over so you can meet him. Archie, come over here.
Archie: Hey, Johnny, there you are. Come on. I thought we were gonna go work out. Jeez.

View Quote John: Okay, Archie, you're on.
Archie: What do I say to her?
John: Get to know her a little. Tell her about yourself.
Archie: Hi! I'm Archie. [nervous chuckle] I like moonlit walks on the beach, uh, sharing slop buckets with that special someone, and the soulful sounds of the Backstreet Boys.
Ava: You're very weird.
Archie: Weird, as in sexy?
Ava: No, just weird.
John: Hey, Archie, uh, why don't you let me take it from here? That was good.
Archie: Okay. [whispers] Damn!
John: What do you think of Archie? Cute?
Ava: Oh, don't make me eat you.
John: Stop that. He's a little uncomfortable around the female species at first--
Ava: That's not even really the point. I need a real bear, someone who can hunt and protect and provide for me.
John: Oh. Okay. I can understand that.
Ava: Oh, and I'm already involved with someone.
John: Really? You have a boyfriend already-a "bearfriend." Are you in love this bear?
Ava: "Love"? My cousin married for love, and the next thing she knows... he's two-timing her with this hot little grizzly in a cave up north.
John: Okay, so you're not in love?
Ava: No.
John: All right, let's make a deal. Don't make any decisions for a month. I'm gonna go work with Archie, and in a month's time I'm gonna turn that bear... into a bear that you'll be proud to have little bear cubs with.
Archie: Check it out! I've flipped for you... [crunch] Pinecone. Gah!

View Quote Archie: [chuckling] Hey, baby!
Ava: Hi. What's wrong with your voice?
Archie: [imitating Dolittle] You're looking mighty fine. So why don't you plant some of that sugar over here on my-on Archie. ♪ Truly ♪♪
Ava: [laughing] Oh, no.
Archie: Is that our song? [creaking] Whoa! [thud] Ow! Hard ground! Back!
Ava: You must learn how to climb trees. Truly.
Archie: That's a bruise!

View Quote Lucia: I don't know how you do it. You're always so nice and so calm. Tom was like that too. It's depressing.
Bill: You're nice.
Lucia: That's how I always felt around you too, like the Baroness in The Sound of Music. While everybody's just singing and climbing an Alp. And I just wanna STUFF THAT GUITAR UP THAT NUN'S ASS! And... ugh!

View Quote Matt: I'm bisexual.
Lucia: Puh-lease! I went to a bar mitzvah once. That doesn't make me Jewish.

View Quote Lucia: [Dedee in labor] Are you having contractions?
Dedee: No, this is my sleepy face! WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK?

View Quote [Lois and Carl have fallen down the poop chute into a dumpster full of bags of dog poop.]
Lois: Where are we?
Carl: We're in deep doo-doo.

View Quote Lois: I'm suing you, I'm suing the state, I'm suing those kids, I'm suing the guy who invented shrink wrap, I'm suing everyone!

View Quote [Lois and Carl have discovered the hotel for dogs and find that Andi and Bruce have been stealing from them.]
Carl: Hey, there's my wah-wah pedal! No wonder my sound's been off.
Lois: [in disbelief] Yeah, that's why.
Carl: [he looks around the hotel] This crap is amazing.
Lois: Yeah, 'cause it's our crap! They've been robbing us blind!