Michele Weinberger You know, even though we've watched Pretty Woman like thirty-six times, I never get tired of making fun of it.
Tied for most-quoted character in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997): in 12 of its 25 quotes
Most scenes with: Romy White (6), Christie (3)
For me, it's like I've just given birth to my own baby girl, except she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot. You know?
More lines from Michele Weinberger
3 quotes Michele Weinberger Michele Weinberger You know, even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kind of fat, we were still totally cutting edge.
Michele Weinberger You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny.
Scenes with Michele Weinberger
8 scenes Michele Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.
Michele To me, fashion is just like... everything. [looks at a customer looking into a mirror] By the way... Hi! That blouse looks great on you!
Irate Customer [looking pleased]
Thank you!
Michele And see? I have this really believable way of telling people they look really good, even though I'm just, you know... [does masturbating gesture]
Michele [Irate Customer looks embarrassed and leaves]
I think she heard me.
Michele Did you lose weight?
Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
Michele God, I wish I had your discipline.
Michele I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.
You're the Rhoda; you're the Jewish one.
So, Mi-chele! What are you up to?
Michele Oh, okay. Um, I invented Post-Its.
No offense, Michele, but how in the world did you think of Post-Its?
Michele Uh...
[looks across the room at Romy talking to Billy Christianson]
And I thought of them completely by myself. I mean, all Michele did was say: "What about making them yellow?"
Michele [turns to the A Group]
Actually I invented a special kind of glue.
Oh really? Well then I'm sure you wouldn't mind giving us a detailed account of exactly how you concocted this miracle glue, would you?
Michele No. Um, well, ordinarily when you make glue first you need to thermoset your resin, and then after it cools you have to mix in an epoxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right? And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns...out I was right.
Cheryl I don't believe it!
What?
Cheryl That!
Kelly They're ba-aaack!
Nice outfits. Post-it's must be really lucrative!
Michele Romy, are you sure you wanna do this?
Oh yeah, Michele. I am so sure!
What the hell is your problem, Christie. Why are you always such a nasty bitch? I mean, okay, so Michele and I did make up some stupid lie! We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human beings. But you know what I realized? I don't care if you like us, 'cause we don't like you. You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying **** what you think!
Michele Okay, and...yeah!
Unbelievable! They're as deluded about their lives as they are about those hideous clothes
Lisa Actually, Christie. They have nice lines. A fun, frisky use of color. All in all, I'd have to say they're really...not bad!
Well, we still think they're ridiculous. Don't we girls?
Lisa Why don't you just let them think for themselves for once?
You're just jealous. Because unlike a certain ball-busting dried up career woman, I might mention, we're all happily married!
Lisa That's right, Christie...keep telling yourself that.
I've been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
Michele That's impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?
[Sandy Frink has arrived by helicopter, and everybody is wide-eyed at his entrance in a three-piece suit and white-soled sneakers]
That's Sandy Frink? The hell was I thinking? [goes somewhere else]
[tries to greet Sandy]
Sandy, hi! You look so rich. I mean, great. [Frink slightly smiles at her but moves on]
Sandy Frink Michele. After all these years, you still take my breath away.
Michele Thanks. So you must be, like, the most successful person in our entire graduating class.
Sandy Well, I guess that depends on how you define "success." If, to you, success means having a house in Aspen. one in Acapulco, penthouse in New York, mansion in Malibu, 60-foot yacht, an eight-seat Windstar, a Bell Jet Ranger, a Bentley, a personal trainer, a full-time chef, a live-in masseuse, and a staff of 24, then, yeah... I guess I am successful. But no matter how much I accumulate... there's still one thing I just don't have.
Michele [lost in his monologue]
Your own country?
Sandy I don't have you, Michele. Will you dance with me?
Michele Only if Romy can dance with us.
Sandy Sure. [they perform a dance rendition of Time After Time]
