Romy and Michele's High School Reunion quotes

View Quote Cheryl: I don't believe it!
Christie: What?
Cheryl: That!
Kelly: They're ba-aaack!
Christie: Nice outfits. Post-it's must be really lucrative!
Michele: Romy, are you sure you wanna do this?
Romy: Oh yeah, Michele. I am so sure!
Romy: What the hell is your problem, Christie. Why are you always such a nasty bitch? I mean, okay, so Michele and I did make up some stupid lie! We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human beings. But you know what I realized? I don't care if you like us, 'cause we don't like you. You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying **** what you think!
(Cheryl and Kelly laugh sarcastically) Romy: Come on Michele.
Michele: Okay, and...yeah!
Christie: Unbelievable! They're as deluded about their lives as they are about those hideous clothes
Lisa: Actually, Christie. They have nice lines. A fun, frisky use of color. All in all, I'd have to say they're really...not bad!
Christie: Well, we still think they're ridiculous. Don't we girls?
Lisa: Why don't you just let them think for themselves for once?
Christie: You're just jealous. Because unlike a certain ball-busting dried up career woman, I might mention, we're all happily married!
Lisa: That's right, Christie...keep telling yourself that.

View Quote Christie: So, Mi-chele! What are you up to?
Michele: Oh, okay. Um, I invented Post-Its.
Christie: No offense, Michele, but how in the world did you think of Post-Its?
Michele: Uh...
[looks across the room at Romy talking to Billy Christianson]
Romy: And I thought of them completely by myself. I mean, all Michele did was say: "What about making them yellow?"
Michele: [turns to the A Group] Actually I invented a special kind of glue.
Christie: Oh really? Well then I'm sure you wouldn't mind giving us a detailed account of exactly how you concocted this miracle glue, would you?
Michele: No. Um, well, ordinarily when you make glue first you need to thermoset your resin, and then after it cools you have to mix in an epoxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right? And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns...out I was right.

View Quote Heather: [attempting to light a cigarette, turns and sees the cowboy offering her a light] Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what do you want?
Cowboy: You were right, I was a brain dead redneck asshole. Though I never screwed a sheep or my sister.
Heather: Why not, couldn't catch 'em?

View Quote Heather: Do you live with Michele Weinberger?
Romy: Yeah.
Heather: I just figured she'd be married to Sandy by now.
Romy: Sandy Frink?
Heather: Yes, Sandy Frink! He could barely contain his erection every time she walked by! Why do you think he always carried around that huge notebook?
Romy: The Frink-a-zoid and Michele, I'm sure! Besides, didn't you have a thing for Sandy in high school?
Heather: I did not have a thing! I did not have a thing, I did not have a thing! I was very much in love with him! Very much in love and there's a difference!
[to customer behind her]
Heather: There's a difference!
[to Romy]
Heather: There's a difference! I have to go now!

View Quote Michele: Did you lose weight?
Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.

View Quote Michele: I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.
Romy: You're the Rhoda; you're the Jewish one.

View Quote Michele: Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
Romy: Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.

View Quote Michele: To me, fashion is just like... everything. [looks at a customer looking into a mirror] By the way... Hi! That blouse looks great on you!
Irate Customer: [looking pleased] Thank you!
Michele: And see? I have this really believable way of telling people they look really good, even though I'm just, you know... [does masturbating gesture]
[Irate Customer looks embarrassed and leaves]
Michele: I think she heard me.

View Quote Romy: Heather, um, has anyone ever told you that smoking can kill you?
Heather: No. No one. Thank you.

View Quote Romy: I've been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
Michele: That's impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?

View Quote Toby: Since you never got around to it in high school, I was wondering if you would sign my yearbook. And please don't tell me to **** off, because it really hurts my feelings.
Heather: I hurt your feelings?
Toby: Yeah, all the time.
Heather: Tremendous! That's tremendous! Go get your stupid yearbook, I would be happy to sign it!

View Quote (about the movie Pretty Woman) Aw, look, poor thing - they won't let her shop. Yeah - like those salesgirls in Beverly Hills aren't bigger whores than she is.

View Quote (holds up her cigarette) I'd rather put this out on my ass!

View Quote For me, it's like I've just given birth to my own baby girl, except she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot. You know?

View Quote Have a "Romy and Michele" day!