John
You're not a real bear. You're Wayne Newton in a bear suit.
Archie
So dirty. Look at my paws.
John
It's the woods, Archie. Its chief component is dirt.
Archie
Wait. Hey, Doc, is that her? She's a babe.
John
Yeah, that's her.
Archie
Oh. Look at the way she moves. Man, would I love to see her wet.
John
I tell you what. I'm gonna go over and introduce you. You just wait over there. Okay?
Archie
Yeah, good. Hey, tell her I really dig her fat pouch, but don't be crude.
John
I'll try to work that in.
Archie
Okay, good. Wait, hey... Gah!
Ava
Are you coming over here? I'm a little busy foraging.
John
Hi.
Ava
Hi.
John
Hello. My name is John.
Ava
I'm Ava.
John
Hi, Ava. That's a pretty name. Nice to meet you.
Ava
Hi.
John
Hey, uh, quick question, Ava. How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
Ava
You're real cute, but I don't go interspecies.
John
I'm not talking about me. I shoulding have said man. I should've said bear. The bear of your dreams. What do you think of that big, magnificent hunk of bear there?
Ava
Um, I don't think I see him. Oh, is he standing behind that dork?
John
Oh, no, he is... Look, let me explain to you what's going on, all right? There's a logging company that's gonna tear down this whole forest, everything. The only thing that can stop 'em... is if I can get two Pacific Western bears together. You're a Pacific Western bear, and so is he. If I can get you together and you made little Pacific Western bears, then-- You see where I'm going with this?
Ava
Uh-huh, yeah. [walks away] Look, no offense, but I don't talk to bear pimps.
John
Hey, wait a minute. At least let me call him over so you can meet him. Archie, come over here.
Archie
Hey, Johnny, there you are. Come on. I thought we were gonna go work out. Jeez.
