Michael Rapaport movie quotes

View Quote Maya: Say, "Maya."
Lucky: Maya.
Maya: Maya.
Lucky: Maya.
Charisse: What do you think you're doing?
Maya: I think he's about to say something.
Lucky: Bring me a bone.
Pepito: And a large order of flies. Super-sized.
Lucky: You will bring me ham, luncheon meats, cold cuts.
Charisse: Lucky, out.
John: Hey. Maya, can I talk to Charisse alone for a second?
Maya: Okay. Come on, boy.
John: [sighs] Charisse, look, I'm sorry about tonight. I'm thinking about cutting back a bit and spending more time with you guys.
Charisse: Great, now more animals will be here.
John: What if we don't stay here? We can go on a big vacation to Europe, the whole family.
Charisse: Are you serious?
John: I'm dead serious. We can go to Paris, Rome, the Greek islands. We always talked about that. What do you think?
Charisse: Is this a bribe?
John: Yes, this is a bribe.
Charisse: It's working.
Joey: Yo, Doc, one thing...
John: Tomorrow!
Charisse: What?
John: Tomorrow.
Charisse: Tomorr...
John: Yeah. European vacation. Tomorrow-Tomorrow! We're going to Europe tomorrow.

View Quote John: Charisse has always had a mind of her own. When she was about a year and a half, she decided not to wear diapers anymore. Remember that?
Lisa: John.
John: She started having accidents around the house 'cause she didn't have it down yet. We'd have little piles--
Charisse: Dad, you just had to go there, didn't you?
John: This is family. We're talking the old days.
Eric: It's cool. I'm actually learning something here.
John: Really? You know what's interesting? You never learned to take off your hat at the dinner table. Isn't your head getting hot? Mine's hot just looking at you in that hat.
Lisa: Sixteen! Just think. In two years you'll be out of this house and on your way to college.
Charisse: One year, ten months, sixteen days.
John: You know what? Berkeley's a really close college. You could live at home, save money.
Charisse: That's a good idea. But I've already reserved a U-Haul for the day I graduated high school.
John: Oh. You reserved a U-Haul already?
Maya: Uh, Dad? Someone to see you.
Joey: Yo, step outside.
John: Thank you, sweetie. Excuse me, darling.
Charisse: Bye, Dad Love you.
John: I love you too. Excuse me, Eric.
Joey: Hey, hey, yo. Yo, down here. Okay.
John: What do you want?
Joey: First, let me say the beaver sends birthday greetings to your lovely daughter.
John: Really? That's very nice. Tell the beaver he's starting to get on my nerves.
Joey: Why are you getting bent out of shape? He only wants a moment of your time.
John: What if I say no?
Joey: I don't think you want to go down that road, my favorite best friend.
[knocks on window]
John: Go and tell the beaver, 8:00, my office, tomorrow.
Joey: Oh, the beaver don't travel for nobody. He knows you're a busy man, and he will remember this, but this is truly a life-or-death situation.
John: All right, shut up, listen. My car, 7:00 a.m. All right?
Joey: Hey, this is good news. The beaver likes good news.
John: Thank you.
Joey: Jimmy, get the car.

View Quote Lucky: [narrating] So, Doc, the raccoon and the possum took a road trip to meet this mysterious beaver.
Joey: Hey, Doc, nice wheels. What do you call this thing?
John: Oh, this is a Mustang.
Possum: [Baby car seat] Yo, Doc, is there a car named after me?
John: No, I don't think they make a Possum.
Possum: Why not?
John: Not a lot of cars named after rodents.
Joey: I wanna go over a couple ground rules for when you're in the beaver's presence. Number one: No sudden movements. Number two: Do not stare at his teeth. Between you and me, he's got a little bit of an overbite. I personally think he needs braces, but I'm not a dentist. Numbers three through ten: You will treat him with the respect he deserves. Capisce?
John: We're talking about a beaver, right?
Animal: Hey, Doc!
Joey: Hey, Tootie, how you doing?
Animal: Hey, Doctor, how are you?
Joey: Back away from him, Jimmy. Show some respect, you animals.
Owl: Look, the raccoon got the doctor.
Bird: He says he's a miracle worker.
John: Hello?
Joey: Paulie, get the boss ready.
Paulie: I'm doing everything like you say, Joey. I'm just, I'm gonna go get some acorns.

View Quote Paul: So you're the little neighborhood Lolita.
Marty: So you're the alcoholic high school buddy shit for brains.

View Quote Supermodels are beautiful girls, Will. A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high full of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels, Willy? That's all they are. Bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels...A beautiful girl is all-powerful and that's as good as love. That's as good as love.

View Quote Paul: Did you hear that Andera went back to Chicago? She was supposed to stay through the reunion. She just up and left. What did you say to her in that ice shack, Will?
Willie: I told you, we just talked.
Paul: You told her things, didn't you?
Willie: What things?
Paul: You let her behind the curtain, didn't you?
Willie: Maybe she missed her boyfriend.
Paul: You let her behind the curtain, I know you did. You never let them behind the curtain Will. You never let them see the little old man behind the curtain working the levers of the great and powerful Oz. They are all sisters Willie... they aren't allowed back there... they mustn't see.
Willie: Tell me the truth. You stay up nights thinking about this shit?
Paul: You say it like it's a bad thing.

View Quote Who you gonna trust? Me, that's who. You trust me. You know why? Because I'm trustworthy.

View Quote Did someone order the fish?