Phil Proctor movie quotes

View Quote Lucky: Careful, Doc, she's 16. That's a tough age.
John: Hey! Charisse, open this door! Can you believe this? Hey!
Lucky: Try her cell.
John: I'm not calling on the cell phone while she's in her bedroom.
[rattling doorknob]
John: Hey! Charisse. Open the door! Okay. All right! Okay! Okay! [growling] Charisse! Charisse!
Drunk Monkey: [slurping, hiccuping] [chuckles] Those teenagers, Doc. They can drive a man to drink.
John: Hey, what are you drinking?
Drunk Monkey: Gatorade.
John: Oh, really? Give it to me. [takes water pouch and smells drink]
Drunk Monkey: Hmph!
John: Gatorade make wine now, huh?
Drunk Monkey: Naaaah!
John: You better slow down.
Possum: Which one of you is Dolittle?
John: What now?
Possum: I have a message from the boss.
John: From the who?
Possum: The boss, the guard beaver. Save the questions and come with me.
John: You guys know the rules. You just don't come up here on my balcony. Make an appointment. You make an appointment Now, go. You tell the beaver make an appointment just like everybody else.
Possum: I can't tell him that. I'll end up sleeping with the fishes.
John: How's it gonna look in the paper when Dolittle throws a possum off the roof? That's not gonna look right. Now, leave, 'cause I will.
Possum: Watch your tone, buddy.
John: [muffled] Charisse!
Charisse: Talk.
John: This is Daddy. How are you?
Charisse: Hey!
John: I got a couple of questions for you. I wanna know how come I gotta climb up the side of a building and get on a cell phone to talk to you!
Charisse: Calm down. Where are you?
John: [muffled] I'm outside of the building, right here!
Charisse: Dad! Dad, what are you doing?
John: What am I doing? It's the only way I can reach you! What are you doing in here? What's all of that about? You don't do that in public, do you?
Charisse: Dance? Of course.
John: That's not dancing. That's advertising. What's this about you don't want to spend your birthday with your family?
Charisse: Having dinner with your family is something you do when you're young, not when you're turning 16. Besides, I have a date.
John: You can bring your date 'cause you're coming to dinner.
Charisse: Cool! Eric, these are my parents and my little sister. They're joining us on our date.
John: No, he's gonna be joining us at a family event. We have it every year. I don't even know why-- [finds Charisse's report card] What's this?
Charisse: Dad, that's private.
John: I can see why it's private. it's embarrassing. You got two C's and a D.
Charisse: Embarrassing? [chuckles] Dad, you are the last person who should talk about anything being embarrassing.
John: What are you talking about? What's that supposed to mean?
[Drunk Monkey screeches, hiccups]
John: I'm supposed to stop helping the animals because you find it embarrassing?
Charisse: That's not gonna happen.
John: That's right. It's not gonna happen. So forget about it. You're coming to dinner. Look at this. No cell phone for a week.
Charisse: What am I supposed to do without my cell phone?
John: Here's some stamps. Learn how to write a letter. You think I care? Do I look like I care? Look at me. No, Charisse.
Charisse: No.
John: Look at me. Do I look like I care? Look. I don't care.

View Quote Lucky: [narrating] Meanwhile, while the cat's away, the mice will play, and by mice I mean teenagers.
Eric: All right, they still closed?
Charisse: Yes.
Possum: Here they come.
Charisse: You did all of this?
Joey: Okay, boys, this is it. Remember what the Doc said. If this punk tries anything fresh, we let him have it. Capisce?
Eric: I got wings, legs, tacos, whatever.
Pepito: Taco? Did somebody say taco?
Joey: No, no, blend in, blend in. You're gonna blow our cover.
Eric: Charisse, there's something I been meaning to do since we got out here.
Charisse: Oh, really. What's that?
Eric: This.
Joey: Now!
Eric: Eeeew!
Drunk Monkey: He French-kissed me! Blecch! Blah! Blah!
Joey: Now, that worked out nicely. The other drinks are on me, Jenny.

View Quote John: All right. First off, let me say that I'm here only as a mediator. And these negotiations will be between Mr. Potter... and the representatives of the United Animals of the Forest, local 534.
Possum: Yeah. Let's come to order.
Joe Potter: This is my new proposal.
John: All right.
Joey: What's the stipulations, Doc? What kind of territory are we looking at?
John: It's only, uh, 12 acres here. It's 12 acres.
Joey: I got your 12 acres right here, pal.
Joe Potter: Hey, they like it.
Joey: I'll give you something you like. Like this. [urinating]
John: I think that's a "no." Or "hell no," maybe.
Lucky: [narrating] Meanwhile, the strike kept growing. Even the pros were getting in on the act.
Man on P.A.: The last few runners left to load now for one of the biggest spectacles of the year: It's Derby time. Last horse is in. Gate's closed. And away they go!
Horses: Hell, no! We won't go! Hell, no! We won't go! Hell, no! We won't go!
Horse Jockey: Run your own stupid race!
Horse: You try running a mile. Don't even think about reaching for that whip, shorty.
Shamu Trainer: Ladies and gentlemen, Shamu!
[audience cheering, applause]
Shamu Trainer: This is Shamu!
[audience muttering]
Shamu: Nah. I don't feel like jumping through any hoops today. Any of you guys?
Killer Whale #1: Uh-uh.
Killer Whale #2: No, no. Not today. I just ate. Uh-uh.
John: Mr. Potter, I hope we have a deal now.
Possum: All right!
Joey: Yeah! Good job. Taught him everything he knows.
Drunk Monkey: Vive le bear! Vive le Archie! Vive le docteur! [hiccups]
Archie: Come on, give me a bear hug. Come on!
John: Oh, no. Absolutely not, Archie.
Archie: You're not leaving here until you get a bear hug.
John: All right, give me a hug then. just a little one.
Archie: Come on.
John: Okay. All right. That's good. Archie-- [gagging] Archie! Archie, you're crushing my spine. [gasping] Archie!

View Quote [Later, the Pickles' household as Drew and Charlotte are seen carrying bags inside as Charlotte was talking on the phone like usual.]
Charlotte Pickles: Oh, and, Johathan, don`t think that just because I'm on a luxury Lipschitz cruise in the South China Seas I won't be checking messages, E-mailing, and carrier pigeons on the hour.
[Drew opened the front door as he goes in and puts the bags down sighing as Charlotte walks by, throwing her bag on top of the ones Drew just sat down as she walks into the kitchen. As Charlotte is walking into the kitchen, Betty is seen getting food out of the fridge as Kira and Chaz were sit in the table along with Dil who was sitting in his high chair.]
Drew Pickles: Honey, I thought we were going to leave work behind for seven fun-filled days.
Charlotte Pickles: Silly, that's not all work. I sighed up for every spa treatment, culminating in the Salem Retreat, where you're pressed between layers of hot rocks.
[Charlotte ruffles Drew's hair as he licks his hands and fixing on the hair as Drew and Charlotte walk off-screen as Dil knocks a box of donuts onto the floor as Phil and Lil are seen hangs the box under the table as Didi walks into the kitchen holding a pacifier.]
Didi Pickles: Seems bewitching. But aren't we all going to be busy with our children?
Betty DeVille: Deed, that's what the Kidsatoriaum is for. Each morning, we drop off the pups and head for the all-day breakfast buffet. I'm here they make a mean egg yolk omelette.
[Betty turns from the refrigerator holding a pile off food consisting of biting the dinner with the jar of an unknown substance and a tin can of an unknown substance. As Betty talks to Didi she pulls a tray of cupcakes out of the fridge as one falls off and rolls under the table, where Phil picks it up and tries to decide between the donut he had in his other hand or the cupcake before the donut and the cupcake as he stuffs the cupcake in his mouth before then stuffing the donut in his mouth as Lil watches him while eating a donut herself. The camera then zooms over to Kimi and Chuckie as Kimi takes a bite out of her donut as the Jelly inside the donut squirts onto Chuckie's Glasses. Chuckie wipes the Jelly off his Glasses as it gets on his hands; Chuckie then wipes his hands on his shirt before eating a bit of the jelly off his hands.]
Kira Finster: We signed the kids up for pirate play and pillage class.
Chaz Finster: It teaches tolerance for the Peg Leg.
[Kira and Chaz are seen reads magazines as Howard walks in lifting some weights.]
Howard DeVille: Well, I am going to use the whole 7 kid-free days to reshape my physique.
Betty DeVille: Could happen, if the Earth was created in 6.
[Betty is seen closed the refrigerator as Howard stumbles and falls backwards off-screen before the camera cuts to show that he landed on the baggage as Stu walks into the kitchen.]
Stu Pickles: Everyone all set?
Didi Pickles: I think we all should thank my husband, Stu, for arranging this wonderful get away.
Stu Pickles: No, you can thank me by have the time of your life.
[Later at the Titanic ship docks...]
Dr. Lipschitz: [over PA] Welcome! Bienvenue! Willkommen! Welcome aboard the world-renowned Dr. Lipschitz's Cruise!
[A crowd of people at the dock cheer and wave while the three families, including Susie, all wait by the cruise ship]
Didi Pickles: Stu must have taken Spike for one last potty run. I'm sure he'll be right back.
Drew Pickles: [pacing around] He better. He's got all our tickets.
Tommy Pickles: That sure is a nice camera, Susie.
Susie Carmichael: Thanks, Tommy. My mommy got it for me so she can see everything she's missing.
Chuckie Finster: [concerned] How come she and your daddy can't come on the cruise with us?
Susie Carmichael: Well, my mommy's getting a special award 'cause she discovered a new disease, and my daddy's cutting the ribbon at the Dummi Bear Theme Park opening. But I wanted to come with you guys!
Angelica Pickles: And we're so glad you did, Susie Carmichael. Now, here. Hold the spotlight on Lounge Singer Cynthia. [singing] Dresses and shoes are the only things. That I'll share... [speaking] That's my rules.
Susie Carmichael: Oh, I wonder if it's too late to call my mommy.

View Quote Howard DeVille: Captain Stu, I can't hold the wheel!
Drew Pickles: Will you stop calling him Captain?! He has no idea what he's doing!
Stu Pickles: I do so! Does anybody know where the brakes are on this thing?
Charlotte Pickles: Jonathan, why aren't you answering the phone?! I need you to divert a tropical storm! [gasps in horror at something coming towards them]
[A 40-foot water wave is making its way to the boat]
Stu Pickles: It's a 40-foot wall of water!
Chaz Finster: We're gonna need a bigger boat.
Betty DeVille: Everyone, GET BELOW!
Charlotte Pickles: [trips on Dil's binky, accidentally let goes of her phone and it falls into the ocean; screams] Phone overboard! PHONE OVERBOARD!
Drew Pickles: [after Charlotte shoves him aside] CHARLOTTE, FORGET THE PHONE!
Charlotte Pickles: JOHNATHAN! [begins to dive in but Betty stops her just in time, grabbing her by the ankle]

View Quote Stu Pickles: Okay, here's the plan. We'll transfer force from the bi-pedal energy generator. to the dual reduction chamber. The resulting compressed atmospheric matrix will transverse the tubular transport mechanisms, which you gentlemen will connect of the deflated pontoon. This will increase the displacement coefficient of the Comvee and it will rise aided by a fulcrum-driven counter balance weighted with coconuts!
Howard DeVille: Let's go it!
[The grownups all agree]
Marianne Thornberry: It's perfect, but... how are we going to inflate a pontoon with a hole in it?

View Quote [Cut to Tommy's room, which was remodeled for the new baby. One side is blue, for Tommy's side, which has a Dummi-bear bed, a "Smile!" poster and a trunk with smiles painted all over, The new baby's side is pink, with a crib festooned with balloons and an "It's a girl!" banner on the wall. The babies enter the room to their amazement]
Rugrats: Oh!
Chuckie Finster: Tommy, somebody's been coloring your room.
Tommy Pickles: Yep, it's for my new sister.
Phil DeVille: How are we gonna find her, Tommy?
Chuckie Finster: Yeah, we don't even know what she looks like.
Lil DeVille: Well, she's a girl like me, so we know she'll be prettyful.
Angelica Pickles: [enters, carrying a big bunch of cookies using the lower part of her dress] Oh, brother! You dumb babies got a lot to learn about the facts of life. [shoves babies en route to table] Now, get out of my way. [dumps the cookies on the table] I gotta get back to the dessert table before the grownups get all the good stuff.
Tommy Pickles: Angelica, can you help us find my baby sister?
Angelica Pickles: I wouldn't be in such a big hurry if I was you, Tommy. 'Cause when the new baby gets here, she's gonna gets all the toys and the love and the attention. And your mommy and daddy will forget all about you. It'll be like, "Look, Deed...there's that little bald kid in the house again."
Tommy Pickles: My mommy and daddy won't forget me.
Angelica Pickles: That's what Spike said before you were born. Back when his name was Paul.
Tommy Pickles: Paul?
Angelica Pickles: Yeah, but, then you came along and they put him out in the rain and he turned into a dog.
Tommy Pickles: That's not gonna happen to me, Angelica. My mommy and daddy will love me no matter what!
[Susie is heard outside, singing to the tune of the first couple of lines of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", "The ABC Song" and "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep". Boris accompanies her on accordion]
Susie Carmichael: [singing] A baby is very neat, a baby is a special treat.
Angelica Pickles: [looks on from Tommy's room] Ugh! Who does Susie Carmichael think she is?
Susie Carmichael: [singing] A baby has lots of toes, a baby has a tiny nose. [Angelica leaves while the other babies watch from inside. Cut to outside. All are singing, unless specified] A baby is a little dickens, a baby is a cuddly chicken. [Angelica is next to Didi's belly, chuckling, as she plans to make her move] A baby is lots of joy.
Angelica Pickles: [singing; barging in obnoxiously] A baby will get all the toys!
Susie Carmichael: [whispers] What are you doing? [continues singing] A baby has a smiley face...
Angelica Pickles: [singing] A baby is from outside space!
Susie Carmichael: [whispers] Angelica!
Angelica Pickles: [whispers] Susie!
Susie Carmichael: [singing] A baby is extra fancy.
Angelica Pickles: [singing] A baby poops in his pantsies! [laughs]
Susie Carmichael: Cut it out!
Angelica Pickles: No!
[Music switches to a Tejano beat, using different arrangement. The babies climb outside to watch]
Susie Carmichael: [singing] Like a birdie, singing in a tree!
Angelica Pickles: [singing obnoxiously] More like Reptar, screaming in your ear!
Both: [singing] A baby is a gift, a gift from a Bob! A baby is a gift from a Bob, Bob, Bob! A baby is a gift.
[Angelica does a gagging gesture]
Susie Carmichael: [singing] A gift from a Bob!
[Cut to under a table, where the Rugrats have crawled underneath. Tommy and Chuckie are talking, while music continues under]
Chuckie Finster: Do you really think babies are a gift from a Bob?
Tommy Pickles: I don't know. Why?
Chuckie Finster: Because if Bob bringed a gift, it's probably one of them. [points to the baby shower gifts on a nearby table]
[Return to Angelica and Susie, music reverts to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", though the Tejano flavor remains]
Susie Carmichael: [singing] A baby is very special!
Angelica Pickles: [singing] A baby is, is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!
[Song ends, Angelica's obnoxious screaming has induced Didi's labor]
Didi Pickles: [painfully groans in discomfort] Oh! Betty, it's time!
Betty DeVille: It's time? Oh, boy. Everybody to your stations, people! Howard, get Stu. Charlotte, call the hospital. Deed, start your breathing. Come on, good girl.
[Didi begins her rhythmic breathing. The other grownups pick up the babies]
Lou Pickles: [picks up Tommy] Up we go, sprout. We got a Pickle to deliver.
Howard DeVille: [picks up his twins] Let's go to the car, kids.
[During the rush, the goat has broken loose and is destroying the party. While the goat destroys things, it sets off the sprinkler system]
Charlotte Pickles: Would somebody turn that sprinkler off?!
[The goat comes inside, dragging a chair on his leg. Lou and Tommy look on]
Lou Pickles: Now, that's what I call a "baby shower!"

View Quote [We rejoin the search party]
Lou Pickles: [finds a clue on the ground, and picks up a wrapper] Bingo! Lookie here! A wrapper from a Cynthia Sweet bar.
Drew Pickles: My angel! She's been here!
Lou Pickles: Yep, I figure she's tracking the sprouts. It's the Pickles' blood. I myself spent 15 days tracking Sitting Bull through the Northwest Territory. The year was 19...
Howard DeVille: Over here! [he and Chaz return with news of another clue]
Chas Finster: We found some wheel tracks and baby footprints heading into the woods. Well, actually, Howard found them. Honestly, I saw them.
Stu Pickles: They must be in my Reptar Wagon.
Drew Pickles: [sarcastically crosses his arms, angrily mimicking his brother] "It's the perfect children's toy!" You and your stupid inventions!
Stu Pickles: [thinking] My stupid inventions? [brightens] That's it!
Betty DeVille: [grabs a bullhorn from a policeman and speaks into it] All right, the pups are in the woods. You men follow those tracks. We'll head to the ranger station and start the search from there. NOW MOVE! HUT, HUT, HUT!
[Stu, Chas and Lou get into the car]
Didi Pickles: Stu, where are you going?!
Stu Pickles: Trust me, Deed. I have a plan! [drives off with Lou and Chas]

View Quote [Cut to Rex Pester's helicopter. A pilot is flying the chopper while Rex is both reporting and taping with the camera]
Rex Pester: A truckload of babies and their pet horse lost in the woods. Our hearts go out to their grief-stricken parents... [Stu's Dactar crashes into the chopper; Stu screams in panic] Look out, Pickles! Now look what you've done! [Stu groans. He fights the pilot over the controls] Are you out of your mind?! Get out! [pushes Stu and Dactar away from the chopper, but breaks the controls off accidentally
[The chopper goes into tailspin]
Stu Pickles: Whoa!
Rex Pester: [crying] And I never won an Emmy!
[The chopper crash-lands in the forest]
Stu Pickles: Oops. [drops the chopper's handlebars before continues flying haphazardly] I'm coming, Tommy. I'm coming, Dil. [a couple of screws come loose] Oh! Ah!
[Meanwhile, back on the bridge, the Rugrats are still trying to rescue Angelica, who lost her coat]
Angelica Pickles: [still carrying Cynthia as she's climbing back on the bridge] Ugh! Hurry up, babies!
[The monkeys return]
Chuckie Finster: Don't let them take me!
Angelica Pickles: Don't let them take Cynthia!
Lil DeVille: I don't think they're going to take anyone. Look!
[The monkeys leave in fear]
Babies: Yay!
Lil DeVille: Yeah! Go home, monkeys!
Angelica Pickles: Hooray! Dumb-dumb monkeys!
[The wolf appears at the foot of the bridge and slowly goes towards the babies]
Babies: Oh!
Chuckie Finster: [scared] We wanna go home. We wanna go home.
[The wolf gets closer, growling viciously]
Babies: Aah!
Dil Pickles: Yuckies!
[Spike then appears from nowhere and fights the wolf]
Babies: Yay!
Tommy: Yay, Spike!
Dil Pickles: [bouncing on the seat] Spike, Spike!
[Spike and the wolf are fighting too close to the edge of the bridge]
Tommy Pickles: Oh, no, Spike! Spike!
Lil DeVille: You gotta get outta there, Spikey!
Angelica Pickles: Yo, dumb wolf! [angrily blows raspberries at the wolf]
[The wolf starts to go toward Angelica. As he was about to bite her, Spike bites his tail and drags him down, while they both slowly go through a hole in the bridge]
Babies: [alarmed] Spike!
[Both Spike and the wolf fall into the river]
Dil Pickles: [now sad] Spike?
Tommy Pickles: [tearfully] Oh, Spike.
[All the babies cry]
Angelica Pickles: Dumb dog! Why'd you have to go and... [sobs]
[Cut to Stu and Dactar]
Stu Pickles: Whoa! [suddenly spots the babies on the bridge] Deed, I found them! They're over by the ranger station! I'm going IIIIIIIIINNNN!!!!!! [Dactar crashes for the last time, into the ranger's station. The babies gasped. The ranger's station collapsed to the ground. Now feeling all woozy, he gets up on his feet, "wearing" Dactar's remnants, and walks towards the bridge] Ahh!
Babies: [gasped] The lizard!
Stu Pickles: Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
Babies: Ohh!
Tommy Pickles: [pulls up his diaper and speaks to the "Lizard"] Please, Mr. Lizard, we wish we could go...No. [looks at the babies, who are still sad] We wish we had our doggie back.
Stu Pickles: Ahhh. [busts through the bridge, still wearing Dactar]
Tommy Pickles: [looks down the hole, suddenly relieved] Spike!
[We see Spike, alive, licking Stu, who lies on one of the bridge's support arms below]
Phil DeVille: He's alive!
Lil DeVille: Thank you, Mr. Lizard!
[Tires screech and headlights shine. The other grown-ups run towards the babies. Then, their parents pick up their own babies and embraces them]
Didi: [tears of joy] My babies! My babies! Oh Dil! My darling! [kisses them both]
Howard DeVille: [hugging his twins] We're here! Mommy and daddy are here!
Betty DeVille: [hugging their twins] You rascals!
Chas Finster: Daddy's here. Oh, Chuckie!
Charlotte Pickles: Angelica, sweetheart, everything's going to be okay!
Angelica Pickles: Oh, mommy, oh, daddy!
Chas Finster: [to Chuckie offscreen] Did you miss me? You okay?
[The monkeys look on in bewilderment. Charlotte's phone rings. Instead of answering it, she tosses it into the water]
Lou Pickles: [pull Stu up with a rope] You've got the Pickle spirit, son. Maybe not the brain, but the spirit.
Didi Pickles: Oh, Stu, you did it! You found our boys.
[Stu picks up Tommy and Dil. Tommy drops his watch; Stu picks it up, still in perfect shape]
Stu Pickles: [smiles] Yeah, I guess I did.
[Igor and Serge arrive in a police car to recover their monkeys]
Igor: My little furry comrades!
Serge: Splendid monkeys, come to papa. Who's your daddy?
[We look through the viewfinder of a reporter's video recorder]
Female Reporter: Babies and monkeys, both lost. Now both found.
Rex Pester: [last words; now injured, shoves the female reporter out of sight] This is my story, pal! I'm Rex Pester. Stay tuned. [the monkeys gang up on Rex and fight him. Camera cuts to static] Aah! No, not my toupee! No!
Betty DeVille: [laughing] Go get him, you little simians!
Charlotte Pickles: Hey, Rex, time for your close up!
Chas Finster: [mock sympothy] Oh, dear, too bad.
[Dil drinks his bottle, then shares it with Tommy]
Stu Pickles: [apologizes to Drew] I'm sorry about all this Drew.
Drew Pickles: [forgives Stu] It's all right, little brother. For a nincompoop, you're not half bad.
[Everyone walks away from the bridge and talks amongst themselves. Margaret pulls the Reptar Wagon]
Stu Pickles: Remember there was Swamptar?
Drew Pickles: Oh yeah, I remember that. Got mud all over...
[Fade back to the Okey-Dokie Jones sequence, where the Rugrats enter the temple]
Chuckie Finster: [voice over] And that was our big adventure. The Monkeys founded their daddies, and we all gots to go home and have fried baloney sandwiches. But not Dil, 'cause he gots no teeth. [Dil, wearing a viking helmet, rides on Chuckie's back. They climb and grab the icon as before, but this time, Dil got ahold of it] But if you think thing went back to the way they was before, you're wrong, 'cause now, thanks to Baby Dil, they was even better! [chuckles]
[After Dil grabs the icon, they all start to topple. Before they hit the ground, we go back to reality, in the kitchen with a banana split. After they fall, Dil slides to the stove with the split; when he hit the stove, the split remain intact]
Babies: [cheering] Yay!
Chuckie Finster: [last lines] Way to go, Dilly!
[Freeze frame, then fade out]
[Fade to closing credits, when stills of the movie's scenes flash in the background while the credits are seen in the foreground. Credits from "Directed By" to "Additional Music Material By" are flshed on and off, with one background per credit. From "Production Manager" on, credits scroll, with different lettering and fonts, while the background changes. During the credits, portions of "Take Me There", "Wild Ride" and "I Throw My Toys Around" can be heard]