John Goodman movie quotes

View Quote Also Dude, let's not forget, let's NOT forget that keeping wildlife, um... an amphibious rodent, for... um, you know domestic... within the city... that ain't legal either.

View Quote Of course they were Nazis, Donny; they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

View Quote (after creating a scene in the diner) I'm stayin'!...(picking up mug) I'm finishing my coffee... (takes sip, sets mug down, gently slams fists on counter; grimly)...Enjoying my coffee....

View Quote Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble. I don't need permission from my wife. In my cave, I reign supreme. SUPREME! [Barney promises not to tell Wilma] Thanks, pal!

View Quote Mr. Slate, I don't think you hired me just to sit here and look pretty. [he picks up a model house] I hate to burst your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who is going to live in them?

View Quote Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth! [The dictabird repeats what he says] Okay, now you talk and see how much I can remember.

View Quote You don't need to study scaring, you just do it.

View Quote [to Mike] You're not scary, not even a little bit, but you are fearless!

View Quote [referring to Mike] I'm gonna wipe the floor with that little know-it-all.

View Quote [to Mike; silently] Ook-lay in the ag-bay.

View Quote Mike: Can I borrow your odorant? Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old Dumpster. Mike: You got, uh, low tide? Sulley: No. Mike: How about wet dog? Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.

View Quote Mike: I'm telling you, Big Daddy. You're gonna be seeing this face on TV a lot more often. Sulley: Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"? Mike: Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.

View Quote Kuzco: "...I'm a crumbling canyon wall, and I'm taking you with me." Well not today, pal! [shuffling to dance] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-uh.
Pacha [uncertainly]: You just saved my life.
Kuzco: Huh?
[Yzma is shocked that her potion turned Kuzco into a llama instead of killing him]
Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job, now!
Kronk: But, what about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk, this is kind of important.
Kronk: Not even dessert?
Yzma: [starts to protest, but stops] Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: [hopefully] And coffee?
Yzma: All right, a quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job!
[After Kuzco realizes he's been turned into a llama]
Pacha: What happened?
Kuzco: [trying to calm down] I'm trying to figure that out, okay? [falls and starts whining again] I can't remember! I can't remember anything! Wait a minute. [turns towards Pacha] I remember you! I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was. And then you got mad at me-- [gasps in shock, then turns back to Pacha angrily] Then you turned me into a llama!
Pacha: Wha--! No, I did not!
Kuzco: Yes, and then you kidnapped me!
Pacha: Why would I kidnap a llama?
Kuzco: I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me!
Pacha: What?!
Kuzco: [pauses] You're right. That's giving you way too much credit.
[Pacha and Kuzco are swinging to safety]
Pacha: Don't worry your Highness. I got ya. You're safe now.
[The vine from which they are swinging from catches, spins them around numerous times and binds them firmly to a log]
Kuzco: Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?
Pacha: No, no, no. It's-It's okay. This-This is all right. We can figure this out.
[The log starts to break in two]
Kuzco: I hate you.
[The log breaks sending them plummeting to the ground]
Pacha & Kuzco: Nooo!
[Tied to the log, they drop into a fast-flowing river, hit a number of rocks, then luckily are bounced into far calmer waters]
Kuzco: I don't know about you, but I'm getting all funned out.
Pacha: Uh-oh.
Kuzco: [resigned] Don't tell me: We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yep.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: [pause] Bring it on. [yells as they go over] Boo-yaaa!
[Kuzco is washing his mouth out with water]
Pacha: For the last time it was not a kiss.
Kuzco: Well, whatever you call it, [Kuzco spits the water onto Pacha's fire, putting it out] it was disgusting. And if you would've done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little kiss of life. [Kuzco shakes off the water from his fur which puts out the fire Pacha has just re-lit] But now that you're here, you will take me back to the palace. I'll have Yzma change me back, and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia. Oh yeah!
Pacha: Okay, now look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I just think if you really thought about it you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.
Kuzco: [completely uninterested in what Pacha was saying, Kuzco finishes off drying himself with Pacha's poncho] And why would I do that? [Kuzco throws the poncho over the fire, putting it out again]
Pacha: Because [controls his anger] deep down, I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village out of their homes just for you.
Kuzco: And that's bad?
Pacha: Well, yeah. Uh, nobody's that heartless.
Kuzco: Mmmm. [pauses] Now take me back.
Pacha: What? Wait, wait. How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.
Kuzco: Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the programme, eh, Pacha?
Pacha: You know what? Someday, you're gonna wind up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Kuzco: [sarcastically] Thanks for that, I'll log that away. Now, for the final time I order you to take me back to the palace.
Pacha: Looks to me like you're stuck out here because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
Kuzco: [imitating Pacha] Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back. Me, me, me. [Picks up an acorn and throws it at Pacha, hitting him on the head. Pacha looks round angrily] Huh? What? I didn't do anything. I didn't - Somebody's throwing stuff.
Yzma: Kronk, why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa now!
Yzma: A really, really, big, stupid monkey named Kronk!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
Yzma: And would you like to know something else? I never liked your spinach puffs. Never!
[Kronk gasps and visibly upset as his shoulder angel pats him]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: That's it! [**** trident] She's goin' down.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Now guys, from above, the wicked shall receive their just reward. :[they look to the heavens and notice a chandelier as an angel chorus sings]
Kronk, Shoulder Angel, and Devil simultaneously: That'll work.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: [while Kuzco in a bag is about to go over a very large waterfall] Listen big guy, I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one: [points to Kronk's Shoulder Angel] Look at that guy! He's got that sissy, stringy, music thing.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: We've been through this; it's a harp, and you know it.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: All right; that's a harp, and that's a dress.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two: [as he does a one-handed handstand] Look what I can do!
Kronk: What does that have to do with any—
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no, he's got a point.
Kronk: Look, you guys are confusing me, so, uh.... "be gone", or whatever I do to get rid of you guys.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel and Devil: That'll work. [they poof out of existence]
Kuzco: No touchie.
Pacha: Agh! Demon llama!
Kuzco: Demon llama?! Where![screams]
Chicha: So, what did the emperor want?
Pacha: [clears throat] Oh, you know what, he couldn't see me.
Chicha: [angrily] Couldn't see you? Why not?
Pacha: I don't know.
Chicha: Well-well, that's just rude!
Pacha: Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy.
Chicha: No, no, no, no, no. NO! Emperor or no emperor, it's called common courtesy.
Pacha: Honey.
Chicha: If that were me, I'd march right back there and demand to see him and you know I would.
Pacha: Sweetie, sweetie. Think of the baby.
Chicha: Pacha, I'm fine. This baby's not coming out for while. But even if it was, I'd give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just- just- [snorts]. I gotta go wash something.
Chicha: [To Yzma] You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way. But, as I said to you before, you may recall, Pacha is not here. I'll be sure to tell him you came by.
Yzma: Oh, would you, please? That would be just great. [Yzma makes an exaggerated gesture that makes her knock her tea cup off the table] Oops. Silly me.
Chicha: No no. [exhaustedly] Allow me. [Chicha bends down to get the cup. Because she's pregnant, she has trouble picking it up.]
[After a long chase sequence, where Yzma and Kronk fell into a canyon, Kuzco and Pacha have reached Yzma's laboratory and are looking for the human potion in a cabinet]
Pacha: Let's see. Lions, tigers, bears-
[There are no bottles in the human section]
Yzma: Oh my. [Steps out of a shadow holding the potion] Looking for this?
Kuzco: No, it's impossible! How did you get back here before us?
Yzma: Ah.... [Looks confused] How did we get back here, Kronk?
Kronk: Well, ya got me. [Pulls down a chart displaying the progress of the previous chase] By all accounts, it doesn't make any sense.
Yzma: Oh well. Back to business.
Kuzco: [nervous] Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been; but Yzma, you really wanna kill me?!
Yzma: Just think of it as...you're being let go. That your life's going in a different direction. That your body is part of a permanent outplacement.
Kronk: Hey, that's kinda like what he said to you when you got fired.
Yzma: I know. It's called a cruel irony. Like my dependence on you.

View Quote [The title shows]
Emperor Kuzco: Oh, yeah.
Theme Song Guy: ♪ There are despots and dictators. Political manipulators. There are blue bloods with the intellects of fleas. There are kings and catty tyrants who are so lacking in refinements. They'd be better suited swinging from the trees. He was born and raised to rule, no one has ever been as cool, in 1,000 years of aristocracy. ♪ [Ship's horn blows] ♪ An enigma and a mystery in Mesoamerican history, the quintessence of perfection that is he. ♪
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] OK, this is the real me. Not this. This. Not this. Winner! Loser. OK, see this palace? Everyone in it is at my command. Check this out.
Emperor Kuzco: [snaps his fingers] Butler. Chef. Theme song guy.
Theme Song Guy: ♪ Oh, yeah! He's the sovereign lord of the nation, he's the hippest cat in creation. He's the alpha, the omega, A to Z. ♪ [Kuzco snaps his fingers] ♪ And this perfect world will spin, around his every little whim, 'cause this perfect world begins and ends with... ♪
Emperor Kuzco: Me.
Theme Song Guy: ♪ What's his name? ♪
Chorus: ♪ Kuzco! ♪
Theme Song Guy: ♪ That's his name! ♪
Chorus: ♪ Kuzco! ♪
Theme Song Guy: ♪ He's the king of the world! ♪
Chorus: ♪ Kuzco! ♪
Theme Song Guy: ♪ Is he hip or what? ♪
Chorus: ♪ Kuzco! ♪
Theme Song Guy: ♪ Yeah! ♪
[While Kuzco is dancing, he accidentally bumps into the old man named Rudy as the music comes to a halt]
Emperor Kuzco: [annoyed] D'oh, you threw off my groove! [crosses his arms]
Palace Guard: [to Rudy] I'm sorry. But you've thrown off the Emperor's groove. [He picks up Rudy by the collar]
Rudy: [He is thrown out the window] SORRY!!!!!
Emperor Kuzco: [to Theme Song Guy] You were saying?
Theme Song Guy: ♪ What's his name? Kuzco! ♪
Chorus: ♪ Kuzco! ♪
Theme Song Guy: ♪ That's his name! Is he hip or what? Don't you know he's the king of the world? Whoa, yeah. Oww! ♪
Emperor Kuzco: Ha! Boom, baby!
Official: Aah! Your Highness, it is time for you to choose your bride.
Emperor Kuzco: All righty. Trot out the ladies.
Emperor Kuzco: [analyzes potential brides] Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. And, let me guess, you have a great personality. Is this really the best you could do?
Official: Oh, yes. Oh, no. I mean, perhaps--
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] What is he babbling about? He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up. Anyway, still wondering about that llama in the opening? Well, let me show you the people responsible for ruining my life. First, there's Pacha.
Pacha: Uh, excuse me. I'm here to see Emperor Kuzco. You see, I got this summons--
Guard: Inside, up the stairs, and to the left. Just follow the signs.
Pacha: Oh, great. Thanks a lot.
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] Uh, and don't be fooled by the folksy peasant look.
Pacha: Oh!
Rudy: Pardon me. That's mine.
Pacha: Oh, here you go.
Rudy: Thank you.
Pacha: You're welcome. Aah! [noticing Rudy is caught in one of the palace streamers] Oh, hey. Are you all right? [He helps the Rudy down] What happened?
Rudy: Well, I threw off the emperor's groove.
Pacha: What?
Rudy: His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life! His pattern of behavior! I threw it off! And the emperor had me thrown out the window!
Pacha: [gasps in shock] Oh, really? Well, I'm supposed to see him today-
Rudy: [leaps up and shakes him by the collar] DON'T THROW OFF HIS GROOVE!
Pacha: Oh, okay.
Rudy: [climbing down] Beware the groove!
Pacha: Hey, are you going to be alright?!
Rudy: [leaves] The groove...
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] See what I mean? This guy's trouble. But as bad as he is, he's nothing compared to what happens next.
Yzma: [first words] And why have you come here today?
Peasant: Well... Your Highness-- I mean, Your Grace.
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] Okay, gang. Check out this piece of work. This is Yzma, the Emperor's Advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth. And let's not forget about Yzma's right-hand-man. Every decade or so she gets a new one. This year's model's called Kronk.
Kronk: Yeah, I'll get that, Yzma. [swats at a fly and hits himself by mistake]
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] Yep, that's Kronk! Now, lately Yzma's gotten this bad habit of trying to run the country behind my back, and I'm thinking, That's gotta stop.
Yzma: It is no concern of mine whether your family has... What was it again?
Peasant: Um, food.
Yzma: Ha! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants. We're through here. Take him away. Next!
Peasant: But I-- Oh, OK.
Yzma: Ugh.
Emperor Kuzco: The nerve of some of those peasants, huh?
Yzma: Tell me about it. Aah!
Emperor Kuzco: Hi there.
Yzma: Ooh, Your Highness.
Emperor Kuzco: Ahem.
Yzma: Oh, oh, oh, ha ha ha. Um...
Emperor Kuzco: Uh, you were doing it again.
Yzma: Doing? Doing... Doing what?
Emperor Kuzco: Doing my job. I'm the emperor, and you're the emperor's advisor. Remember that?
Yzma: But, Your Highness, I was only dealing with meaningless peasant matters.
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] Whoa. Look at these wrinkles. What is holding this woman together? [Broccoli Teeth] What the-- How long has that been there?
Kronk: Good thinking, Yzma. What do you say, Kuzco?
Emperor Kuzco: Whoa! No touchy! No touchy. No touch.
Servant: Excuse me, Your Highness. The village leader is here to see you.
Emperor Kuzco: Oh, great. Send him in. Oh, and by the way, you're fired.
Yzma: Fired? What do you mean, fired?
Emperor Kuzco: Um, how else can I say it? You're being let go, your department's being downsized, you're part of an outppacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option... Take your pick. I got more.
Yzma: But I-- You--uh-- Uhh. But-- But, Your Highness, I have been nothing if not loyal to the empire for--for--for many, many years.
Emperor Kuzco: Hey, hey everybody hits their stride. You just hit yours 50 years ago. So...who's in my chair?
Kronk: Oh, oh! I know! Yzma. Yzma's in your chair, right?
Emperor Kuzco: Very good, Kronk. Here. Get the snack.
Kronk: Got it! Unh! Oof!
Emperor Kuzco: OK, you heard the man. Up, up, up.
Kronk: I'm OK. I'm fine.
[Yzma snarls]
Emperor Kuzco: Ah. OK. Show him in.
Pacha: Ahem. Uh, afternoon, Your Highness. I'm here because I received a summons--
Emperor Kuzco: Hey, there he is! My main village man.
Pacha: Um, Pacha. Anyway, I got this summons--
Emperor Kuzco: Pacha. That's right. You are just the man I wanted to see.
Pacha: I am?
Emperor Kuzco: Word on the street is you can fix my problem. You can fix my problem, can't you?
Pacha: Sure. I'll do what I can.
Emperor Kuzco: Good, good. That's just what I wanted to hear. Are you aware of just how important your village is to the empire?
Pacha: Well, I know we grow the crops that you use here at the palace. We also herd the llamas that you-- My village?
Emperor Kuzco: Oh, yeah. You got a pretty sweet little setup there on top of that hill, don't you? Ha ha ha!
Pacha: Yeah. My family has lived on that hilltop for the last 6 generations.
Emperor Kuzco: Uh-huh. So tell me, where do you find you get the most sun?
Pacha: Oh, I'd say just on the other side of those trees. When the sun hits that ridge just right, these hills sing.
Emperor Kuzco: Well, that settles it.
Pacha: Really?
Emperor Kuzco: Yep. Problem solved. Thanks for coming.
Pacha: That's it? That's all you wanted me for?
Emperor Kuzco: I just needed an insider's opinion before I OK'd this spot for my pool.
Pacha: Uh...your pool?
Emperor Kuzco: [places a model of Kuzcotopia on top of the hill, smashing the model of Pacha's house] Boo-yah! Welcome to Kuzcotopia, my ultimate summer getaway, complete with water slide!
Pacha: [absolutely shocked] What?
Emperor Kuzco: Isn't it great?! It's my birthday gift to me! I'm so happy!
Pacha: Um...I don't understand how this could happen.
Emperor Kuzco: Well, let me clear it up for you. At my birthday celebration tomorrow, I give the word and your town will be destroyed to make way for this... [hums carnival tune for his resort display on top of Pacha's village] So, if I were you, I'd pick up some change-of-address forms on the way home.
Pacha: But, where will we live?
Emperor Kuzco: [thinks] Hmm, don't know. Don't care. How's that? [starts to leave]
Pacha: Wait! You can't-! [gets blocked by guards]
Emperor Kuzco: [appalled that a peasant has just dared to talk back to him, halts mid-stride, turns back around and gets in Pacha's face] When I give the word, your little town thingy will be bye-bye. [happily] Bye-bye!
Pacha: Wait! [gets dragged off by the guards]
Emperor Kuzco: [mocking] Boo-hoo!
Emperor Kuzco: [narrating] Oh, yeah. Everything was goin' my way. Or so I thought.
[After Kuzco fires Yzma, she starts using a hammer to smash effigies of him provided by Kronk]
Yzma: He can't get rid of me that easily! Who does that ungrateful little worm think he is?! [to Kronk] A little to the left. [Kronk nudges the head so she can smash it] Does he have ANY idea of who he's dealing with?! How could he do this to me?! Why, I practically raised him!
Kronk: [lays down another bust, which Yzma smashes] Yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better.
Yzma: [dryly] Yeah, go figure.
Kronk: Well, it's better you're taking out your anger on these things instead of the real Kuzco, huh?
Yzma: [gasps and smiles evilly] That's it, Kronk! That's it! I'll get rid of Kuzco.
Kronk: The real Kuzco?
Yzma: Of course, the real Kuzco! Don't you see? It's perfect! With him out of the way and no heir to the throne, I'll take over and rule the empire. Brilliant.
Kronk: So, how does that work with you being fired and all?
Yzma: The only ones who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us.
Kronk: And I'm one of those two, right?
Yzma: To the secret lab! [they move over to two levers] Pull the lever, Kronk! [Kronk pulls a lever, opening a trap door under her; she falls through] WRONG LEVER! [splashes]
Kronk: [looks down the trap door] Uh...
Yzma: [comes out all wet and with a crocodile biting her dress] Why do we even have that lever? [slaps the crocodile which lets go of her dress and runs away, yipping] Get out of my way. [pulls the other lever, and she and Kronk land in what is like an amusement park ride]
Skeleton Ride Voice: Please remain seated, and keep your arms and legs in at all times.
[Ride speeds up, going through tunnels]
Kronk: Whoo! Faster, faster! Yzma! Put your hands in the air! Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo! [Yzma and Kronk arrive in the lab, wearing lab coats and safety goggles, do a high-five, and run to get to work]
Yzma: Ah, how should I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives, AH HA HA HA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT, I tell you! Genius, I say! [knocks over a beaker of poison onto a plant, and the plants explodes into black, shriveled, then drops quickly, dead] Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this. Take it, Kronk. [laughs evilly] Oh, feel the power.
Kronk: Oh. I can feel it.
Yzma: Our moment of triumph approaches [laughs evilly] IT'S DINNERTIME!

View Quote Tipo: Mom, Mom! I think I'm still growing! Measure me again!
Chicha: All right, Tipo. Stand still and let's see.
Chaca: Mom, you and I both know that it's impossible for him to have grown in the last 5 minutes.
Tipo: Mmm! Mmm!
Chaca: Isn't it?
Chicha: [gasps] Look how much you've grown!
Chaca: What? Tipo, get out of the way. It's my turn again. Measure me.
Tipo: Dad's home!
[Kids Laughing]
Pacha: Come Here!
Pacha: Hey, ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Come here. Ha ha ha!
[All Three Laughing]
Tipo: Dad! I ate a bug today!
Pacha: Oh! Was Mom baking again? Heh. Don't tell her I said that.
Chicha: I heard that. OK, everybody, move aside. Lady with a baby coming through.
Tipo: Dad, Dad, Dad! Look at how big I am! We were all measured today.
Pacha: Oh.
Tipo: I'm going through a growth spurt. I'm as big as you were when you were me.
Pacha: Mm-hmm. Sure are.
Chaca: That's not as impressive as my loose tooth. See?
Chicha: Okay, Okay, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home. Now say good night.
Both: Dad, do we have to?! [whimpers as cat meows]
Pacha: No, you 2 can stay up. We're just gonna be sitting here telling each other how much we love each other. Right, honey? [coos]
Tipo: Ew!
Chaca: Blecch!
Both: ...GOOD NIGHT. [Both Laughing]

View Quote Got your fortune cookie!

View Quote [After being spit in the face by an alien creature] I'm hit! I'm down! I'm melting! It burns! Oh, I think it's acid!

View Quote I’m like a fat ballerina, who takes scalps and slits throats!

View Quote Baloo: Yeah, man!

View Quote [Baloo runs into Shanti, and they begin to argue]
Baloo: What are you doing here? Hey, I'm really not in the mood for this.
Shanti: [overlapping Baloo] I spent the night in the jungle! I was attacked by a snake! But I really don't care, because--
Baloo: And, that's why--
Both: I'm here to help Mowgli! [they hesitate] You are?
Baloo:: I guess we're on the same side.
Shanti: [still coming to terms with the fact that Baloo is benevolent] I guess so.
Baloo: OK.
Shanti: OK.
Baloo: All right. You, uh... go that way. I'll cover you. [Shanti hurries off; Baloo observes Shere Khan roaming around the temple from behind a gong, and sees Mowgli come out from his hiding place behind the gong a few yards away before hiding again. Baloo then sounds the gong with his fists, getting Shere Khan's attention. Mowgli peeks out and sees Shere Khan approaching Baloo's position. Shanti nervously bangs another gong, drawing Shere Khan towards her. Mowgli quietly observes Baloo and Shanti's actions and rings his gong with a couple branches, causing Shere Khan to hone in on his hiding place. Baloo sounds his gong again: Shere Khan immediately goes in his direction. The three then sound their gongs simultaneously, confusing Shere Khan. Unfortunately, the chain holding up Shanti's gong breaks off, Baloo and Mowgli gasps and getting Shere Khan's attention.]
Shanti: Oh, no.
Shere Khan: [chuckles] Well isn't this a delightful turn of events? [chuckles] So, what's it going to be, man-cub? You or your adorable little girlfriend? [Shanti throws her sticks at Shere Khan] I'm waiting! One, two--
Mowgli: [realizes that Shere Khan is going to kill Shanti and comes out from his hiding place and said] No! Don't!
Shere Khan: Three-- [turns to see Mowgli; he chuckles then scowls] No more games, man-cub.
[Shere Khan charges at Mowgli, Baloo bashes Shere Khan with his hip]
Shanti: Mowgli?!
Mowgli: Come on!
[they run up a staircase; Baloo grabs Shere Khan, trying to slow him down, but the tiger hits Baloo in the face, knocking him aside]
Baloo: Mowgli! Look out!
Shanti: [realizing there's a pit of lava at the bottom] Oh, no!
Mowgli: We can do it!
[they jump across and just barely grab onto the statue at the other end. Shere Khan is close behind and effortlessly leaps across]
Mowgli: Come on!
[he and Shanti climb on top of the statue. Shere Khan, using all his strength, climbs up after the children and corners them]
Shere Khan: Mowgli... [The statue tilts and falls. Shere Khan falls down towards the lava. Baloo barely catches Shanti and Mowgli. Shere Khan lands on a rocky outcrop in the lava pit. A second later, the statue seemingly crushes him. Baloo, Shanti, and Mowgli look down into the pit where Shere Khan fell. Shere Khan is now trapped in the statue's mouth; an injured but still alive Lucky appears.]
Lucky: Hello, stripes. You're looking a bit down in the mouth today. [laughs crazily]
Shere Khan: Oh, no...
Lucky: Hey, hey! What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? I always knew you had a head on your shoulders, eh, Khanny, my boy? [laughing crazily]

View Quote [Mowgli finds Shanti and Ranjan, both of whom look scared by something]
Mowgli: There you are! I'm so sorry. Will you let me explain?
[Shanti backs away in fear]
Mowgli: Come on! At least talk to me.
[Shanti nervously points at something behind Mowgli; he turns around and gasps when he sees Shere Khan lurking in the shadows, he approaches the children]
Shere Khan: You seem surprised to see me, man-cub. I can't imagine why. I wasn't going to let you get away with what you did to me. You see, you humiliated me, man-cub. Surely you do realize I simply can't let you live.
[Shanti, Mowgli, and Ranjan are now terrified]
Mowgli: [to Shanti and Ranjan] Run!
[Shanti and Ranjan flee the area. Mowgli turns to face Shere Khan and throws dust in his face before running for it]
Shere Khan: Oh, you're going to try and outrun me. How droll!
Mowgli: [catches up with Shanti and Ranjan] Come on! This way! [Behind them, Shere Khan gives chase with a snarl; Mowgli, Shanti, and Ranjan climb over a log to some bushes] All right. Stay here!
Shanti: Mowgli, no! [Shere Khan leaps over the log with a roar; Shanti and Ranjan hide in the bushes] Ranjan, wait here. I gotta go help Mowgli!
Ranjan: But I wanna help Mowgli too!
Shanti: No! I'll be right back. I promise. Don't move. [Shanti goes after Mowgli. Ranjan is still determined to help, and gets his loincloth caught on a branch; he is thrown backwards and comes face-to-face with Baloo. He panics and tries to run. Baloo picks him up by the loincloth.]
Baloo: Whoa, whoa. Hold still. Calm down, kid. Now, where's Mowgli?
Ranjan: Shere Khan!
Baloo: [shocked] Shere Khan? Hold on! [puts Ranjan on his shoulders and hurries to the rescue. Meanwhile, Mowgli is still running as fast as he can, but stops when he comes to a lava lake surrounding an ancient temple.]
Mowgli: Whoa! [Mowgli looks at the lava nervously and looks back when he hears Shere Khan roar behind him; he jumps across and barely grabs onto the other side. He looks back just in time to see Shere Khan appear and quickly climbs up and races up the stairs. Shere Khan gets across with an effortless running jump. Mowgli enters the temple looking for a place to hide.]
Shere Khan: [laughing evilly] No matter how fast you can run, no matter where you can hide, I will catch you. [Shere Khan climbs up the stairs as Mowgli hides behind a gong, hyperventilating.] Come out, come out, wherever you are. [In the jungle, Bagheera climbs down from a tree branch and hears Ranjan's voice]
Ranjan: Hurry! Hurry! Faster, faster! [Bagheera sees Ranjan]
Bagheera: Oh, no! Not another Man-cub!
Ranjan: Can't you go any faster? [Bagheera then sees that Ranjan is riding on Baloo's shoulders]
Bagheera: [gasps and races alongside him] Baloo! What is the meaning of this?!
Baloo: Mowgli's in trouble!
Ranjan: And Shanti, too!
Bagheera: Who's Shanti? [Meanwhile, Shanti has just reached the temple and leaps across the lava before hurrying inside. She reacts with horror upon seeing Shere Khan looking around for Mowgli. She desperately looks for a place to hide. Baloo, Ranjan, and Bagheera arrive at the temple mere seconds later.]
Baloo: Take the kid, Baggy! I'll help Mowgli!
Bagheera: Baloo, be careful!

View Quote [after killing a spider] Yeah, that's right, I'm bad!

View Quote [attacking a large group of spiders] Rock and roll!

View Quote [discovering Dr. Atherton hanging cocooned and covered in spiders] Oh my god...They got the professor!

View Quote Look upon me!!! I'll show you the life of the mind!!! I'll show you the life of the mind!!!

View Quote C'mon, Barton, you think you know about pain? You think I made your life hell? Take a look around this dump. You're just a tourist with a typewriter, Barton, I live here, don't you understand that? And you come into MY home... and you complain that I'M making too... much... noise.

View Quote Ben Geisler: Ever act?
Barton Fink: ...Huh? No, I'm—
Geisler: We need Indians for a Norman Steele western.
Barton: I'm a writer. Ted O—
Geisler: Think about it, Fink. Writers come and go; we always need Indians.

View Quote Barry: [sarcastically] Yes, and Adam here has a been a huge help.
Adam: [asleep in an empty Cinnabon box]
Mr. Montgomery: Mr. Benson Bee, I'm going to ask what I think the entire court here would like to know... what exactly is your relationship to that woman?

View Quote Vanessa: [gasps]
Barry: We're friends.
Mr. Montgomery:Good friends?
Barry: Yes.
Mr. Montgomery: How good?
Barry: Now hang on--
Mr. Montgomery: Do you live together?
Barry: Wait, that's not--
Mr. Montgomery: Are you her little... bedbug?
Vanessa: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice.

View Quote Mr. Montgomery: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the county of nature God put before us. If we were to live the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what if would mean? Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know he could be on steroids!

View Quote Violet, I saw how hard it was on your mom when she didn't make it, but if she was here she'd tell me to shut up, wish you luck and give you a big hug. I'm not going to give you a big hug and I'm not going to wish you luck, but I am going to shut up, sit here with my coffee and pretend to be mad. Is that okay?

View Quote No, it's not okay. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. You're not going back to work for Pete. I don't care what it takes. I don't care how many bars you have to stand on. You are not coming home. I'm not letting you back in the house. Forget it.

View Quote Hey, do I come to your office and honk?

View Quote Mark my words, there will never be a more screwed up time in Washington.

View Quote This planet doesn't belong to us. Ancient species owned this earth long before mankind. I spent 30 years trying to prove the truth: monsters exist.

View Quote (Last words before being devoured by a Skullcrawler.) Oh shit...

View Quote Ah, Senator Johnson! Hey, Jimmy. I hope you're leavin' some of them beignets for your constituents.

View Quote [to young Charlotte] All right, now, princess, you're gettin' that dress, but that's it. No more Mr. Pushover. [pulls a puppy out of nowhere] Now who wants a puppy?

View Quote Big Daddy: Evenin', Eudora.
Young Charlotte: Daddy, Daddy! Look at my new dress! Isn't it pretty?
Big Daddy: Look at you! Why, I'd expect nothin' less from the finest seamstress in New Orleans!

View Quote Rex: [sniffs a hot dog] Smells good. [eats it] Hey! That's what I call LUNCH!!!
[the other dinosaurs laughed]
Dweeb: Lunch?! That's what used to call me!

View Quote Elsa: I've been meaning to talk to you, Rex.
Rex: About what, Elsa?
Elsa: The way, you look at me. It makes me want to... um... lay an egg.

View Quote Buster: Expect the postcard, for some place warm. Miami or maybe Cuba. Arrivederci, Mama.
Buster's Mother: Ohh!
Buster: Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! Oh, aah! (cries) Aah-ha, ha, haooh! Phew!
Rex: Hello there, you little fella!

View Quote Steve "Boom Boom" Blauner: [interrupting a tender moment] Bobby! Whoa, sorry. But I was right about the war picture. Get your speech ready 'cause as soon as this tour is over, you're going to the Oscars, pal. You just got nominated.
Bobby Darin: [shouting] Hallelujah! Yes! Yes!
Sandra Dee: Oh, Christ.

View Quote You know, I was right about you. You're gonna be easy to love. Memories are like moonbeams; we do with them what we want. [at the Cocoanut Grove while perfoming "Mack the Knife", Bobby notices his younger self backstage]
Bobby Darin: Stop! Stop! Richie, stop! Hold it! Hold it! [the band stops playing. Silence] Okay, I wanna start over. I wanna do it again.
Steve "Boom Boom" Blauner: You gotta be kidding me. That was perfect.
Bobby Darin: No, I wanna do it again. I can do it better.
Steve "Boom Boom" Blauner: Do you know how long it takes to set this up?
Band member: Yeah, I don't know how much more my chops can take today, boss.
Bobby Darin: [angrily] Well, maybe when you start playing it right, we can all call it a day. But when you play it sloppy like you've been doing all afternoon! Then were gonna do it again! And again! And again! Until we get it right!
Dick Behrke: Bobby, the guys are getting tired, that's all.
Bobby Darin: How do you think I feel?

View Quote Bobby Darin: [running over to Boom Boom] Boom Boom! Boom Boom! Boom Boom! Boom Boom! Boom Boom! Boom Boom! Book me back in Vegas.
Steve "Boom Boom" Blauner: [laughs] You don't wanna go back to Vegas.
Bobby Darin: Oh, yes I do. I wanna go back to Vegas and I wanna go back on stage.
Steve "Boom Boom" Blauner: Don't tell me you found yourself?
Bobby Darin: Now. I'm a nightclub animal, Boom Boom. And I love it. And quite frankly I think I do it better than anybody else in the whole goddamn world.
Steve "Boom Boom" Blauner: You're also one of the most modest people I've ever met in my life, but I don't want you going back there.
Bobby Darin: It's gonna work this time. I can be what I want, I can say what I want, I can sing what I want! Sandy just said it, she just said it beautifully.
Steve "Boom Boom" Blauner: What?
Bobby Darin: "People hear what they see."

View Quote Kronk: Machu Picchu!
Rudy: [running over to Kronk, in his Mrs. Kronk disguise] Kronky-wonky! [jumps into his hands]
Kronk: Rudy!
Papi: Who is this?
Rudy: Why, I'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Papi: Kronker!
Kronk: Right, I'll go check on dinner. [drops Rudy and dashes into the kitchen]
Rudy: [annoyingly enters the kitchen] Hey, is that any way to treat the lovely Mrs. Kronk?
Chicha: I thought I was the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Rudy: Look at us. Putting on dresses. Pretending to be women.
Pacha: [enters the kitchen] Kronk, what are you doing?!
Kronk: Dinner rush. I've got four specials and I've got a party of ten coming at 8:30.
Rudy, Chicha, and Pacha: Kronk!
Papi: Kronk? [Kronk screams and runs back into the kitchen] Kronk! [follows him into the kitchen] Let me get this straight. She's Mrs. Kronk, and she's Mrs. Kronk? [points to Chicha; to Rudy in disguise]
Kronk: Papi, I can explain.
Girl: I'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Boy: Ow. You're stepping on my face.
Kronk: Or maybe not.
Papi: Is there anyone in this town who isn't Mrs. Kronk?
Ipi, Hildy, and Topo: Daddy!
Kronk: How about them?
Papi: Who are they?
Ipi, Hildy, and Topo: We're Kronk's adorable kids!
Kronk: Oh!
Pacha, Papi, Rudy, and Chicha: Kronk!
Marge and Tina: Sweetheart!
Kronk: Tina?! Marge?!
Marge: Marge.
Tina: Tina.
Mata: Oy.
Papi: Kronk!
Kronk: Well, at least that's everybody.
Kuzco: Boom, baby! Like how I weaseled myself in the movie? Nice.
Kronk: Kuzco?
Kuzco: How you doing, hot stuff?
Kronk: [horrified] Hot stuff?! [holds up a sign reading, "Uh-oh"]

View Quote Chicha: Boy, the place is packed.
Kronk: Yeah, never had this many friends when I was an evil henchman.
Pacha: And look at you now, chef at Mudka's.
Kronk: And head delivery boy!
Man: [speaking fast] Delivery Boy Logo used by permission and may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Delivery Boy Logo 8675309.
Kronk: I get my one-year pin next week.

View Quote Pacha: You wanna borrow my house?
Chicha: And me?
Kronk: And them, if it's not too much trouble.
Chicha: Kronk, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Kronk: Trust me, I am, but not as much as I'd be if Papi finds out I'm a failure, he's gonna come at me with everything. [quickly] The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince of Guilt, the Scowl of Impending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.
Tipo: What's wrong with Kronk?
Angel Tipo: Duh. You made him look like a big fat liar in front of Miss Birdwell.
Devil Tipo: Hey, don't guilt-trip the kid! It's not his fault.
Tipo: No, he's right. I've got to help him.
Pacha: [to his wife] Now come on, Chicha, he's our friend.
Chicha: Pacha.
Pacha: You saw the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection. We have to do something before his father gets here.
Chaca: Too late, he's here.

View Quote Mike: [Showing Sully his new car] Ta-da! What do you think?
Sulley: What was wrong with your old car?
Mike: Three little words, Sulley: Six wheel drive!!

View Quote Sulley: [tries to readjust the rearview mirror after he bashed it with his head, but accidentally breaks it off] Oops.
Mike: [dangerously calm] Get out of the car, please. [snaps] Get out, out, out, out, OUT! GET OUTTA MY CAR!
[Sulley is forced out of the car and stands on the pavement. The car starts up and suddenly speeds off. Five of the six wheels roll past Sulley. The sixth one follows more slowly]
Sulley: Hmm, that's weird. The airbag didn't go off.
[the airbag inflates and blasts Mike back up the street; Sulley catches him]
Mike: I miss my old car. You know, with the vroom-vroom and the clang-clang and the bang-bang? [sighs]
Sulley: You, uh, wanna walk?
Mike: [exhausted] Yes.

View Quote Sulley: [to Mike, who is trying to close the hood] I'll get it! [accidentally slams hood on Mike's hand; Mike screams in pain] Oh, sorry! Sorry! [Sulley presses a button, and the hood flies open, launching Mike into the air. Mike falls into the hood and the hood closes on him; the car phone rings. Sulley answers] Hello?
Mike: [on phone] PUSH THE BUTTON!

View Quote [To Tony Mendez] If you're going to do a $20 million Star Wars rip-off, you need somebody who's a somebody to put their name on it. Somebody respectable. With credits. Who you can trust with classified information. Who will produce a fake movie. For free.

View Quote [Lester Siegel and John Chambers look back on the success of the operation]
Lester Siegel: The saying goes, "What starts in farce ends in tragedy."
John Chambers: No, it’s the other way around.
Siegel: Who said that exactly?
Chambers: Marx.
Siegel: Groucho said that?

View Quote [to a hospital nurse] I'm on a list, baby girl.

View Quote You're a rock star, man! You will never pay for another drink as long as you live.

View Quote H.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?

View Quote We released ourselves on our own recognizance.

View Quote To be a hero, you don't have to do big things… just the right ones.