Kronk's New Groove (2005) quotes

View Quote Chicha: Boy, the place is packed.
Kronk: Yeah, never had this many friends when I was an evil henchman.
Pacha: And look at you now, chef at Mudka's.
Kronk: And head delivery boy!
Man: [speaking fast] Delivery Boy Logo used by permission and may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Delivery Boy Logo 8675309.
Kronk: I get my one-year pin next week.

View Quote Devil Kronk: Hey, look. Aren't those your eggs?
Kronk: [reading the label on the egg carton] "Kronk's Eggs. Property of Kronk. Do not touch except for Kronk." [confronts Birdwell] Hey! What are you doing with my eggs?!
Miss Birdwell: What are you doing with my raisins, sir?
Kronk: These aren't your raisins.
Miss Birdwell: [swipes the box out of his hand; reads the label] "Birdwell's Raisins. Property of Birdwell. Do not touch except for Birdwell."
Kronk: Huh. You think I would have seen that. I need those raisins.
Miss Birdwell: Well, I need them more!
Kronk: Then you're ruining this for my kids!
Miss Birdwell: You're wrecking it for mine!
Kronk: You disqualified us!
Miss Birdwell: You tried to drown us!
Kronk: This is all your fault!
Miss Birdwell: This is all your fault! [steps on his foot]
Kronk: Is not!
Miss Birdwell: Is too, you twit!
Kronk: Give!
Miss Birdwell: You give!
Both: You!

View Quote Ipi: Does this look like a rash to you?
Topi: [looking around for his dentures] Has anybody seen my teeth?
Hildy: Oy! My aching knee.
Rudy: [sighs] I sure wish there was some way to stop getting old.
Hildy: If only they could put youth in a bottle. [sighs] I'd pay anything for that.
Ipi: Again with the youth potion. How many times do I have to tell you, there's no such thing!
Hildy: But if there were...
Ipi: But there's not!
Hildy: I said, if!
Ipi: If, schmiff!

View Quote Juryman: Troop Kronk is disqualified! [Kronk and his kids gasp in horrified shock] The aquatic competition goes to Troop Birdwell!
[Birdwell's kids cheer as they win a point]
Kronk: Hey, that's not fair!
Miss Birdwell: You ruined the aquatic event for my poppets.
Kronk: But now you've ruined it for my, uh…
Tipo: [whispers] Poppets.
Kronk: Poppets. I knew that.
Miss Birdwell: Well then, I suppose you should've thought of that sooner. Come alone, chippers! Toodle pip. Toodle pip.
Kronk: Why?! Why is this happening?! I just don't understand. It just doesn't make any sense. [trying to tie Tipo's shoelaces] Was it loop over, loop under and pull, or loop under, loop over and pull? Tipo, you okay, little pal?
Tipo: We're gonna lose the trophy because of her.

View Quote Kronk: Machu Picchu!
Rudy: [running over to Kronk, in his Mrs. Kronk disguise] Kronky-wonky! [jumps into his hands]
Kronk: Rudy!
Papi: Who is this?
Rudy: Why, I'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Papi: Kronker!
Kronk: Right, I'll go check on dinner. [drops Rudy and dashes into the kitchen]
Rudy: [annoyingly enters the kitchen] Hey, is that any way to treat the lovely Mrs. Kronk?
Chicha: I thought I was the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Rudy: Look at us. Putting on dresses. Pretending to be women.
Pacha: [enters the kitchen] Kronk, what are you doing?!
Kronk: Dinner rush. I've got four specials and I've got a party of ten coming at 8:30.
Rudy, Chicha, and Pacha: Kronk!
Papi: Kronk? [Kronk screams and runs back into the kitchen] Kronk! [follows him into the kitchen] Let me get this straight. She's Mrs. Kronk, and she's Mrs. Kronk? [points to Chicha; to Rudy in disguise]
Kronk: Papi, I can explain.
Girl: I'm the lovely Mrs. Kronk.
Boy: Ow. You're stepping on my face.
Kronk: Or maybe not.
Papi: Is there anyone in this town who isn't Mrs. Kronk?
Ipi, Hildy, and Topo: Daddy!
Kronk: How about them?
Papi: Who are they?
Ipi, Hildy, and Topo: We're Kronk's adorable kids!
Kronk: Oh!
Pacha, Papi, Rudy, and Chicha: Kronk!
Marge and Tina: Sweetheart!
Kronk: Tina?! Marge?!
Marge: Marge.
Tina: Tina.
Mata: Oy.
Papi: Kronk!
Kronk: Well, at least that's everybody.
Kuzco: Boom, baby! Like how I weaseled myself in the movie? Nice.
Kronk: Kuzco?
Kuzco: How you doing, hot stuff?
Kronk: [horrified] Hot stuff?! [holds up a sign reading, "Uh-oh"]

View Quote Kronk: Papi, I have a confession. I'm not who you think I am. I'm just a humble fry cook. And head delivery boy. That's not all. Chicha's not my wife. None of these folks are my wives. And these aren't my kids. Not even the ones who really are kids. Yeah, and that big house up on the hill, that's not mine either. And Pachita not even a woman. [Pacha takes off his woman's hat disguise] I lied to you, Papi. I just wanted you to be proud of me. I just wanted to get one of these. [holds up a thumbs up] But all I ever got from you was… [Papi gives him a scowled look on his face] Yeah, that. I'm a failure. The truth is I've got nothing.
Chaca: [walks up to him] But Kronk, you've got us.
Kronk: And I wouldn't trade you guys for anything.
Papi: Well, that would explain why you don't have anything.
Rudy: For your information, Kronk used to have a big house.
Ipi: On a hill.
Topo: But he gave it away to us old folks.
Chaca: And he had a girlfriend too. They baked us raisin bread.
Mata: He gave up all those things to protect his friends.
Kronk: You were actually listening to my stories?
Mata: I was weeping on the inside.
Kronk: Wait a second. I really wouldn't trade you guys for anything. Not even for a thumbs up. You see, Papi, you may look at my life and think I've got nothing, but the truth is… I've got everything.
Papi: Not yet, you don't. [gives his son a thumbs up and smiles] I'm proud of you, son.

View Quote Kronk: Rudy, Yzma's youth potion is a fake. She cheated you. [Rudy looks at his reflection, realizing he's still the same. He looks at the fake potion] And I cheated you too. I'm sorry. [Rudy pats him on the shoulder, making him feel better] I guess we better go tell the others.
Rudy: [gasps in realization] The others! I almost forgot! They're about to elect Yzma emperor!
Kronk: I never knew that was an elective office.
Crowd: Yzma for emperor!
Yzma: Thank you, thank you! I'd like to thank all the little people, but what do they matter? What matters is me, me, me! And when you elect me as your new emperor, I'm going to be on top of the world!
Kronk: Stop this charade!
Rudy: Yzma's youth potion is a fake!
Yzma: [through gritted teeth] Kronk, what are you doing?!
Kronk: I want you all to look at Rudy and tell me what you see.
Hildy: Whoo, that is one hot hunk of man!
Kronk: [pulls down a level chart of Rudy's age] He's in his golden years. Not getting any younger. Chronologically challenged. [holds up an hourglass]
Rudy: I got wrinkles, bunions, ear hair! I'm still OLD!
Topo: Hey, he's right. I'm still old too!
Ipi: Me too! And Hildy looks like…
Hildy: Uh-uh-uh, don't even!
Crowd: [outraged] Yzma's a crook! Yzma's a witch!
Yzma: [laughs nervously] Would you excuse me a moment? [runs away]
Ipi: She's getting away!

View Quote Kronk: So, it all comes down to one event.
Miss Birdwell: The Chipmunk cheer off!
Both: There's only one thing to do.
Miss Birdwell: Practice, practice, practice!
Kronk: Do whatever it takes to WIN!

View Quote Mata: What's with you?
Kronk: [fearfully] It's my father. He's coming for a visit! [shows her the telegram]
Mata: [takes out her reading glasses; sighs as she reads] "Can't wait to meet your wife and kids and see your big house on the hill. Cordially, your father, Papi." So?
Kronk: So Papi said l have to have all those things if I'm ever gonna be a success. And I once had them, but I lost them!
Mata: So?
Kronk: So I never told him that part.
Mata: Big whoop. Tell him the truth.
Kronk: What? Tell him the truth? Are you nuts? You don't let a guy like Papi down, or you'll get one of these. The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince of Guilt, the Scowl of lmpending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.
Mata: Total rejection. Right, right. Mm-hmm.
Kronk: I remember it well. Too well. [Flashback to his youth; voice-over] You see, I was always different growing up. Papi didn't approve. He said if I didn't get serious, I'd never amount to anything. But nothing I ever did was good enough for him. All I ever wanted was a thumbs up from Papi. [end of flashback] And I was so close. I once had a big house, on a hill. Papi would have loved it. That house was a dream come true.

View Quote Miss Birdwell: [reading the label on the sack] "Tipo's Itching Powder. Property of Tipo. Do not touch except for…" Tipo, how could you?! I'm so disappointed.
Kronk: Oh, no. What am I gonna do?
Devil Kronk: Eh, let the kid take the rap. He'll do easy time.
Angel Kronk: You put the idea in his head. Look at him out there. He's six.
Kronk: Uh-oh, the lip. Not the lip.
Devil Kronk: Don't look directly at it! You start flapping your jaw, the girl goes bye-bye.
Kronk: Forever?
Devil Kronk: Heartbreak City.
Kronk: No.
Angel Kronk: So you're just gonna weasel out while they send Tipo off to the big house?
Devil Kronk: You forgetting something? [holds up the drawing of Papi with the thumbs-up in front of his face] You want this, you need that.
Miss Birdwell: You could have hurt somebody. I cannot believe that you would disgrace the Chipmunk name in this manner!
Kronk: But Tipo needs me. Let him go! It's all my fault.
Miss Birdwell: [gasps in shock] Kronky-poo, you told Tipo to cheat?
Kronk: I told him, "do whatever it takes to win." Wait! It was all a big mistake.
Miss Birdwell: I'll say it was. The biggest mistake of my life! I thought I could trust you.
Kronk: But Ms. Birdy-poo...
Miss Birdwell: Don't ever call me that again! On second thought, don't call me ever!

View Quote Miss Birdwell: He can't do this to my little chippers!
Kronk: She can't do this to my little chippers.
Tipo: Yeah!
Kronk: That's it. Oh, that's it. The gloves are coming off. We're going mano a womano.
Both: Let the games begin!

View Quote Pacha: You wanna borrow my house?
Chicha: And me?
Kronk: And them, if it's not too much trouble.
Chicha: Kronk, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Kronk: Trust me, I am, but not as much as I'd be if Papi finds out I'm a failure, he's gonna come at me with everything. [quickly] The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince of Guilt, the Scowl of Impending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.
Tipo: What's wrong with Kronk?
Angel Tipo: Duh. You made him look like a big fat liar in front of Miss Birdwell.
Devil Tipo: Hey, don't guilt-trip the kid! It's not his fault.
Tipo: No, he's right. I've got to help him.
Pacha: [to his wife] Now come on, Chicha, he's our friend.
Chicha: Pacha.
Pacha: You saw the Nostril Flare of Total Rejection. We have to do something before his father gets here.
Chaca: Too late, he's here.

View Quote Papi: Well, you know what this means, if they're finishing each other's sentences…
Mata: Then it must be true love.

View Quote Tipo: Look at them. They're really snot and polish.
Chaca: Yeah. It's "spit and polish."
Tipo: Snot.
Chaca: Spit.
Tipo: Snot!
Chaca: Spit!
Tipo: Snot!
Chaca: Spit!
Tipo: Snot!
Chaca: Spit!
Tipo: Snot!
Kronk: Whoa, whoa. Easy, kids. Spit, snot, same general neighborhood.

View Quote Tipo: We can't let him down. We just gotta win that trophy for Kronk!
Devil Tipo: You know what I'd do? Cheat.
Angel Tipo: [gasps] What am I hearing? You can't do that!
Devil Tipo: Nah-nah-nah-nah!
Angel Tipo: Stop it! Stop it!
Devil Tipo: Ha-ha! Crybaby, crybaby, stick your head in pie, baby!
Angel Tipo: Make him stop! Make him…
Devil Tipo: [puts a pacifier in his mouth to shut him up] Hey, Kronk said, "Do whatever it takes to win."
Tipo: Yeah. Whatever it takes.