David Spade movie quotes

View Quote [examining his brides]: Let's see here... hate your hair, not likely, yikes, yikes, yikes, and let me guess: you have a great personality.

View Quote [narrating]: Um, what's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?

View Quote [narrating]: [referring to Kronk's "theme music"] Big, dumb and tone-deaf. I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this.

View Quote (Trying to pronounce "roads") Row-ads. Roods.

View Quote [on Drake Sabitch] This guy is like Leatherface, Chucky and Jan Brady all rolled into one.

View Quote Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

View Quote I stink at this.

View Quote Guilty. You are irresistible.

View Quote [after Wayne played a prank on him by pulling down his swimsuit] I was just in the pool. The water is cold. Don't judge me! [runs off]

View Quote Oh, come on, man. That song's already ruined. You need some good tunes like this. [Imitates guitar and sings] Can't touch this./Music hits me so hard/Makes me say "Oh, my Lord./Thank you for giving me with a mind to rhyme and a do-da-dee..."

View Quote Hey, we made it, man. Nice. I'm sure that beats flying.

View Quote It's the filly. It always is. Hey! Hey, she's from Philly. I didn't know she was from Philly. Oh, man, I love those Philly cheese steaks. Or any kind of cheese, really. Or, actually, any kind of food from anywhere... especially candy and poop. What were we talking about?

View Quote No, Bl… No, Blobby. I just said, “Here’s a toast to a bunch of great guys.” What does he think I said?

View Quote Hey, here's to Blobby.

View Quote Don't be so uptight. I'm inviz.

View Quote So, right about now, you're probably wondering, "Hey, where's that emperor guy?" Wella-wella-boom, baby! Kuzco here, coming to you live from the palace.

View Quote Right now, it's Kronk's turn to be in the limelight.

View Quote Boom, baby! Like how I weaseled myself in the movie? Nice. (Kronk: Kuzco?) How you doing, hot stuff? (Kronk: Hot stuff?)

View Quote Hey, Murray. Here may be from Egypt, but you're the one in denial! Ha-ha-ha! Did you guys get that?

View Quote [imitating Drac] "Don't worry, I'm over here. Blah, blah-blah!"

View Quote [after Drac escapes from Frank's cousin... due to her huge arm]
Frank: What's the matter, Drac, you didn't like her?
Griffin: No offense, but you can't be too picky. You haven't had a date in 100 years.
Drac: Look, guys, I appreciate your concerns, but it's not up to me. You only zing once, and I did.
Griffin: Times have changed, buddy. You can even find someone to zing with on your phone now.
Drac: What, really? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm far too busy. [leaves while taking out his phone] I have Mavis and Dennis, and the hotel and blah, blah, blah.
Frank: [to Griffin and Murray] Um, did you guys hear that? He actually said "blah, blah-blah".
Drac: I don't say "blah, blah-blah"!

View Quote Pride of the Port Chester sports program, Tom: Hippie Olympics. Doesn't matter who wins 'cause they're all losers. You know, it's sad, really. This school used to be a bastion of rich, white elitism. And now... now they let homosexuals on the football team. Whining minorities run the student government. And you can't even coerce a woman into having sex with you without being brought up on charges.

View Quote Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to tall bitch! What is your fault? This is!

View Quote I scheme and plan for months and it gets screwed up because you can't control the students! Never send a woman to do a man's job!

View Quote How cute.

View Quote [Dennis/Denisovich and the Drac Pack are driving in the car.]
Denisovich/Dennis: Where we going, Papa Drac?
Drac: Oh, Denisovich! We're going to have an adventure. A monster-y adventure!
Dennis: Yay, monsters! We're gonna eat cake!
Wayne: [confused] What'd he say?
Drac: No, no cake on this monster trip!
Dennis: No cake cebause Kakie says too much cake makes tummy ache. Yay! A monster always shares.
[A short pause.]
Griffin: Wow.
Wayne: We may need more than a week.
Frank: Hey, you know who could fix the kid in a snap? Vlad.
Drac: [annoyed] What? We don't need to call Vlad. We got this. [in a warmer tone] Eh, you see, Denisovich. Monsters are nice, just like you… but when the moon comes out, the real monster fun begins, being scary! Right, guys? [On the radio, "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony is playing and Frank, Wayne, Murray, and Griffin all dance along to it.] Guys? Guys! [shuts off the radio] What is wrong with you?
Frank: Come on. Everybody likes that song.
Drac: We're not everybody! We're scary monsters, remember? [puts a CD in the car's player.]
Griffin: Hey, what are you putting in?
Drac: Oh, it's an audio book - Bigfoot's Life Story. He reads it himself.
Woman on CD: Chapter 1. [Bigfoot growls slowly on radio]
[They listen to the growling and it is revealed that Blobby is still happily listening to "Worth It" on his headphones in the adjoining rascal.]

View Quote [at Mavis and Johnny's wedding]
Murray: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [to Griffin] Yo, how hot is my date?
Griffin: So hot. How about how hot mine is?
Murray: You've... got a date?
Griffin: Yeah. She's invisible. That's why you can't see her.
Frankenstein's Monster: Oh, yeah. Is this the one from "Canada"?
Griffin: Shh… Wedding's starting.

View Quote You said it wrong, stupid. It's Shiloh.

View Quote Let's make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle. We're not hurting anybody. Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!