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Joe Dirt quotes

View Quote Things are gonna happen for me, I'm Joe Dirt.
View Quote I'm a rocker through and through. Here's a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep...
View Quote Life's a garden, dig it.
View Quote When bad pets go bad, dang.
View Quote Turn it up.
View Quote Ya gotta keep on, keepin' on.
View Quote Right on! You're Joe Meteorite and I'm Joe Dirt.
View Quote You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? they don't like no feed back, what's up?
View Quote His name's Rocky and he ain't no puppy.
View Quote [Trying to scrape Charlie the dog's testicles off the frozen porch] Now, this ain't no flapjack, so I'm gonna be real careful, I won't look.
View Quote My name is Joe Dirt?, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.
View Quote [Joe falls off a swing] And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandy was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.
View Quote There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I'm number one. Rule number two, the croc's number two.
View Quote [To himself] YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FOR-EEK. You're going to Hell, man.
View Quote And you'll be sticking your head out the window and check out chick dogs saying "What's up, baby?"
View Quote That shit'll buff out.
View Quote Luckily, my neck broke my fall.
View Quote You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?
View Quote It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.
View Quote Why don't you go practice, fallin' down, I'll be there in a minute.
View Quote Where's my supplies?
View Quote I thought I had broken my ass bone
View Quote [while on air balloon] I can see down your shirt
View Quote I got the poo on me!!
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